Fear of Success- ready to be accepted?

[carlyb514]

All right, here goes. Since I have asked just about everyone in my own life these questions I figure I might as well take it another step. Last year I applied to a few clinical programs, mostly because I had graduated and didn't quite know what else to do after school. I definitely didn't understand how competitive the programs were, and had expected to hear back from some. When I didn't I was very upset, and have spent the last year improving my resume in order to better my chances. But now that I have a few interview invites I am beginning to panic that this might not be what I really want, and I don't know if I'm ready. My alternative plan is to teach abroad (which I will be doing in the interim six months at the very least between interviews and graduate school), but I'm not sure if I might not be interested in doing that longer. I sort of feel like if I do get accepted into a program (although I know that interviews definitely are no guarantee of acceptance), I don't know if I'll be able to turn it down although I'm kind of uncertain... And I don't know if these feelings of uncertainty are natural, or if I should be concerned because it is a HUGE commitment to undertake and I should be really ready. I can't help but think there are other people fighting for the same spot I might take that are more confident in their decision than me, inspiring additional feelings of guilt, etc. But I also feel that at least in the clinical field, it might be a now or never sort of a deal. I think older students are often less common (right?) and if I spend more time not working in the field of psychology it is only going to decrease my chances in the event that I wanted to come back to it.... Any thoughts from current graduate students who had the same thoughts, or seen others who are unsure? My anxiety levels are through the roof, wavering between praying to hear from schools and hoping I don't receive another email for the next month.

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[Psychadelic2012]

I'm older (mid-30's) and have similar feelings of ambivalence, but for different reasons. I will not be applying again after this year. This is it. There is more to life than getting a Ph.D., and my previous experiences have shown me this. Going to a doctoral program will mean pursuing something that will capstone everything my career has built up to at this point in my life, but it will not be easy and I can certainly live happily without it. As you go through life, you learn that "pursuing your dreams" ain't all it's cracked up to be. Life is full of many experiences that you can have in so many different settings--my experiences with worldwide travel, moving dozens of times, living out of my car, working for myself, nursing a dying parent, and letting my career path take some unexpected (although very fulfilling) turns has made me who I am. I'm lucky, because if I don't get into a Ph.D. program, I'll be able to turn back to life with a sense of relief that I can just enjoy it and take time for myself again (after I am done with my master's). I'll be fine. Not so for younger folks.

Then again, I've done my exploring and settling into a graduate program with some structure and focus to it is just enough for what I need right now because I've sown my wild oats. I can rest easy knowing that I'm not missing out, if I do pursue this path.

I'd say your outlook is very realistic and honest.

 

[LHDMMD]

Last year I applied to a few clinical programs, mostly because I had graduated and didn't quite know what else to do after school. I definitely didn't understand how competitive the programs were, and had expected to hear back from some. When I didn't I was very upset, and have spent the last year improving my resume in order to better my chances. But now that I have a few interview invites I am beginning to panic that this might not be what I really want, and I don't know if I'm ready. My alternative plan is to teach abroad (which I will be doing in the interim six months at the very least between interviews and graduate school), but I'm not sure if I might not be interested in doing that longer. I sort of feel like if I do get accepted into a program (although I know that interviews definitely are no guarantee of acceptance), I don't know if I'll be able to turn it down although I'm kind of uncertain... And I don't know if these feelings of uncertainty are natural, or if I should be concerned because it is a HUGE commitment to undertake and I should be really ready. I can't help but think there are other people fighting for the same spot I might take that are more confident in their decision than me, inspiring additional feelings of guilt, etc. But I also feel that at least in the clinical field, it might be a now or never sort of a deal. I think older students are often less common (right?) and if I spend more time not working in the field of psychology it is only going to decrease my chances in the event that I wanted to come back to it.... Any thoughts from current graduate students who had the same thoughts, or seen others who are unsure? My anxiety levels are through the roof, wavering between praying to hear from schools and hoping I don't receive another email for the next month.

Bolded is exactly how I feel. You're not alone in these feelings and I think in due time you'll figure out what the best decision is.

 

[thepug]

You don't know what to expect if you pursue the Ph.D. or if you chose not to (which is just as much a choice).

However, getting a Ph.D. is not a foreclosure thing. You can always go in a different direction years later.

I guess just ask yourself why you are nervous about making the choice. It's probably scary to make a choice after 4 years of curriculum and syllabi. There is a lot more flexibility in a psych PhD than a psych B.A.

The funny thing is, your ahead of the game. Most people have these thoughts after they sign the contract!