Hey guys, I know this is one of those sob story posts, but I guess I'd just appreciate any helpful advice or support. I'm a second year med student who just feels really unhappy. I don't have any close friends in my class...a lot of that is my fault as I haven't really been the best at reaching out and trying to make close friends. But tbh there is just something about my class and maybe med school in general that has made me want to keep my distance. I don't always feel comfortable around the gung-ho, competitive, super involved people in medicine. I can't muster the same level of excitement about being a doctor and don't have the energy to pretend like I think it's the best thing ever. I don't know...I just feel so cut off and isolated sometimes and feel like I've made a mistake coming to med school. Anyone else out there just not feel super close with their class or super excited about the med school journey? I came in feeling kind of ambivalent about medicine but hoping the people and the material would foster a sense of purpose and passion for medicine. Instead, I think a lot of the personalities have sort of turned me off and made me more wary of medicine. I often feel so alone in feeling this way because it really does seem like everyone else loves medical school and has best friends while I'm this weird loner who kind of just pops in and out of school but doesn't have any real attachment to the people or the institution. Is this abnormal?
Feel really disconnected from my class and not excited about medical school...
- Thread starter mmmhmm20
- Start date
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2013
- Messages
- 271
- Reaction score
- 269
No, not abnormal at. Im a second year and can relate. I’m not really involved with the class at all. That being said, I am married and have a social network outside of med school with my spiritual life.
I think it’s important to always have a social network, whether that’s med students, church, family, etc.
I think it’s important to always have a social network, whether that’s med students, church, family, etc.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2012
- Messages
- 1,279
- Reaction score
- 1,188
100% common situation
I didn’t suffer quite as much because I was in one of those accelerated programs and had friends from undergrad with me starting medical school (and if not friends then at least colleagues).
However I found that it can still be immensely isolating. I am NOT a type A gregarious hypercompetitive person and have had to learn how to be at least a little outgoing over the years. I did not fit in with a lot of the folks I met initially. Part of this, I think, has a great deal to do with the fact that it’s a small group of people with perceived heavy competition between each other in a situation where everyone was the “top” of their class. Additionally, it’s a different situation from college where in most cases you can meet someone as a freshman and then never meet them again because of how huge class sizes are - here, you can’t avoid folks. Things for me settled out by my second year when we kind of had a “we ride together, we die together” type of mentality that formed - and as a result by my fourth year we were almost all very close.
I would seek out friends that share interests beyond “hey let’s study medicine together” and develop a friendship. Having an SO helps. Making friends outside of medicine helps.
Hope that helps
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2015
- Messages
- 2,530
- Reaction score
- 5,860
Hey bud, I hope you feel better!
Just remember - you don’t have to “connect” with your class. You just gotta find the people you “fit” with. You maybe haven’t had the chance to find them yet. Just keep on being you and when you run into them you’ll feel normal again.
Hope this helps! Your friends are out there you just gotta find them. No need to force it with people you don’t fit with!
Just remember - you don’t have to “connect” with your class. You just gotta find the people you “fit” with. You maybe haven’t had the chance to find them yet. Just keep on being you and when you run into them you’ll feel normal again.
Hope this helps! Your friends are out there you just gotta find them. No need to force it with people you don’t fit with!
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2018
- Messages
- 234
- Reaction score
- 675
Just hunker down and realize med school and residency is just a purgatory you have to pass through to arrive at that sweet, sweet attending paycheck and start living real life. Conversely, if the attending paycheck isn't sweet by the time you get there in x years then you have failed at life and whatever you did or didn't do in med school was utterly irrelevant anyways. In the case of medicine, it really IS about the destination, not the journey.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2017
- Messages
- 899
- Reaction score
- 1,723
As others have said, this is not uncommon and will likely end with clerkships. I can count on one hand the total number of social events I went to as a preclinical student; now, it's practically daily.
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2013
- Messages
- 38,629
- Reaction score
- 76,625
Eh, I was similar in med school, it's nbd. Just keep to yourself and stick it out
I felt 100% like this. Isolated myself, didn't really care for medical school, and when you have time off you are just feel more lonely because you don't have a real social life. The best thing you can do is hang out more on medical school campus and make some friends. I found a group a guys I would hang and crack jokes with them all of them time during studying. It really made my medical school experience so much enjoyable. I actually keep in contact with them even now that I am in residency. Also try to get a girlfriend. Having this will really put you in the right perspective of why you need to finish this journey. You just have to make more of an effort to be with people. Talking and socializing with others can really make a big difference in your medical school life.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2015
- Messages
- 745
- Reaction score
- 862
Totally disagree with this! You can and should enjoy your life today. As a side point, you'll do better in med school and get to a better destination if you're making friends, connections, etc
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2010
- Messages
- 1,617
- Reaction score
- 3,002
pick up some undergrad chicks by wearing that short white coat to the undergrad library. \s
But really, if you need friends then you should try to make friends with non-medical people.
But really, if you need friends then you should try to make friends with non-medical people.
D
deleted87051
You have to make an effort. All your classmates are not the same, get to know them. You will find the ones whose quirky weird sense of humor matches yours. I guarantee they are there. It doesn’t get any easier after you graduate. You can choose a life of lonely misery or you can develop an appreciation for those around you. Medical students are not bad people.
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2018
- Messages
- 582
- Reaction score
- 936
Was also in the same boat. Had a family, so didn’t really hang out w the majority of my classmates except 3-4 people.
For some reason, it gets infinitely better during third year when you work with residents and attendings. Have been getting stellar remarks throughout third year so far, despite some loud mouth medical students badmouthing me to admin over some honest remarks on the class fb forum. After that incident, didn’t quite gaf about my class that much anymore.
It might be better for you not to know much of your class and just a few 5-6 people that click with you.
For some reason, it gets infinitely better during third year when you work with residents and attendings. Have been getting stellar remarks throughout third year so far, despite some loud mouth medical students badmouthing me to admin over some honest remarks on the class fb forum. After that incident, didn’t quite gaf about my class that much anymore.
It might be better for you not to know much of your class and just a few 5-6 people that click with you.
