Feeling defeated I need help with med school apps

[natanguyen]

---

Members do not see this ad.

Hello! I am a pre-med student currently. I graduate May next year, and I am taking a gap year.

So far I have...
Clinical hours: 100 hr currently but If I am consistent and don't get sick all the time (literally have bronchitis rn), I would get 882 clinical hours (hospital and hospice volunteer, and EMT) by the time I apply

Non clinical: 105 hours of non-clinical (I am volunteering at a food bank)

Research: I will be doing research until I graduate so I think around 7 months of research IF I am consistent

Shadowing: 4 hours but looking for a doctor

GPA: 3.525 right now and I have withdrawn from 3 classes which I know is a bad look but one was a class I realized I didn't need to take and one was from freshman year where I had a horrible year

I have been VERY inconsistent with my hours, and I started late because I had no idea what the process was until Sophomore year. I had a bad time Freshman year with two family deaths and problems with friends. I also have joined clubs at my school, but I haven't gone to any of them or anything so I literally have no leadership or any activities in school. I take the MCAT in May and I'm going to study really hard for that. I talk to and see people getting 1000+ hours in everything and I am feeling like a loser. I'm not aiming for a top-tier school, but I want a decent school at least. I also don't want to take two gap years. Do I have a chance if I do good on my MCAT? Please give me any advice at all and be honest. I am starting to feel defeated especially since I have been lacking on doing my hours. Thank you!

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Welcome to the forums.

I am a pre-med student currently. I graduate May 2027, and I am taking a gap year.

Why are you on a gap year before you graduate?

"You reap what you sow." In this case, you haven't sown anything. Stop wallowing in self pity. If you are passionate about it, do it. Do something. Go to the prehealth advisors. Attend admissions events. Get to work. You're not ready to take the MCAT because you aren't ready to apply. Get out of the spiral of the defeated and unmotivated... you aren't ready until you get out of that black hole. Go to a counselor or a therapist a soon as you can. Stop making excuses.

 

[natanguyen]

Welcome to the forums.



Why are you on a gap year before you graduate?

"You reap what you sow." In this case, you haven't sown anything. Stop wallowing in self pity. If you are passionate about it, do it. Do something. Go to the prehealth advisors. Attend admissions events. Get to work. You're not ready to take the MCAT because you aren't ready to apply. Get out of the spiral of the defeated and unmotivated... you aren't ready until you get out of that black hole. Go to a counselor or a therapist a soon as you can. Stop making excuses.

I'm not on a gap year before I graduate. I'm taking one after I graduate. I am also taking the MCAT in May so I have around 6 months to prepare and do good on it, not because I'm not ready to apply. But yes I agree I need to get out of this black hole I'm in and get on top of things.

 

[chilly_md]

Do well in your classes going forward. Work as an EMT and continue volunteering at the food bank as long as it doesn't impact your grades or MCAT preparation.

 

[Butalbusaur]

I talk to and see people getting 1000+ hours in everything and I am feeling like a loser. I'm not aiming for a top-tier school, but I want a decent school at least.

Comparison is the thief of joy my friend. You can’t compare YOUR journey into medicine to others, and you especially can’t bring yourself down because of it.

I also don't want to take two gap years. Do I have a chance if I do good on my MCAT? Please give me any advice at all and be honest. I am starting to feel defeated especially since I have been lacking on doing my hours. Thank you!

You can’t feel entitled. If it takes two years, it takes two years. Don’t rush the process and apply with an application that you don’t feel confident with. You will regret spending all that money and months of anxiety.

I am starting to feel defeated especially since I have been lacking on doing my hours. Thank you!

Volunteer and work for things you truly care about. That’s the only way to make it feel like you’re not going through the motions and checking off boxes. It will make for a better application overall.

You got this. Don’t give up.

 

[polymerization]

In addition to what's already been said, I think there's also room for you to acknowledge that sometimes the most mature thing to do is to stop and regroup.

I can understand and even relate to the feeling of wanting to have your life move forward the way it seems to move forward for people around you.

Maybe you have friends who are on the same or similar paths and you've already watched them start their first year.

Maybe you have parents that have already begun to overtly or covertly shame you for not having gone straight through like their friends' kids.

Maybe you wrapped up a lot of your own identity around being the "kind of person" that would be a doctor, and failing is threatening to dismantle beliefs about yourself that you had taken for granted.

Maybe there are aspects entirely out of your control that are holding you back but you cannot, for one reason or another, directly name them? (Or, maybe I am totally projecting and this does not resonate with you at all, which is also fine.)

Regardless, it can feel almost like you paradoxically don't even have the time to focus on the obstacles to your goal, when every day that you aren't already there makes it harder to focus on navigating the obstacles to getting there. It's a vicious cycle that puts you farther from where you want to be the harder that you struggle, like a rip current or quicksand.

As much as you think stopping is the only action you can take that guarantees drowning, sometimes the doing is what's actually doing the most damage.

Resign yourself to the fact that you're not going to do this like everyone else is going to do this.

Once you internalize that, ask yourself how you could move forward in a way that can actually work for you (and doesn't assume that you will be bitten by a radioactive spider and become Superwoman tomorrow).

In all likelihood, there are obstacles you're not accounting for that will become evident later. Don't make plans that are so fragile they could fall apart if you have to take a sick day, because I can almost guarantee it will be an inevitability.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

I'm not on a gap year before I graduate. I'm taking one after I graduate. I am also taking the MCAT in May so I have around 6 months to prepare and do good on it, not because I'm not ready to apply. But yes I agree I need to get out of this black hole I'm in and get on top of things.

This makes no sense. Are you taking the exam for fun? You know the score will only be valid for 3 years max for admissions decisions, but it remains on your record "forever."

 

[natanguyen]

Comparison is the thief of joy my friend. You can’t compare YOUR journey into medicine to others, and you especially can’t bring yourself down because of it.


You can’t feel entitled. If it takes two years, it takes two years. Don’t rush the process and apply with an application that you don’t feel confident with. You will regret spending all that money and months of anxiety.

Volunteer and work for things you truly care about. That’s the only way to make it feel like you’re not going through the motions and checking off boxes. It will make for a better application overall.

You got this. Don’t give up.

Thank you so much. I needed to hear this cuz I really do compare myself all the time

 

[natanguyen]

In addition to what's already been said, I think there's also room for you to acknowledge that sometimes the most mature thing to do is to stop and regroup.

I can understand and even relate to the feeling of wanting to have your life move forward the way it seems to move forward for people around you.

Maybe you have friends who are on the same or similar paths and you've already watched them start their first year.

Maybe you have parents that have already begun to overtly or covertly shame you for not having gone straight through like their friends' kids.

Maybe you wrapped up a lot of your own identity around being the "kind of person" that would be a doctor, and failing is threatening to dismantle beliefs about yourself that you had taken for granted.

Maybe there are aspects entirely out of your control that are holding you back but you cannot, for one reason or another, directly name them? (Or, maybe I am totally projecting and this does not resonate with you at all, which is also fine.)

Regardless, it can feel almost like you paradoxically don't even have the time to focus on the obstacles to your goal, when every day that you aren't already there makes it harder to focus on navigating the obstacles to getting there. It's a vicious cycle that puts you farther from where you want to be the harder that you struggle, like a rip current or quicksand.

As much as you think stopping is the only action you can take that guarantees drowning, sometimes the doing is what's actually doing the most damage.

Resign yourself to the fact that you're not going to do this like everyone else is going to do this.

Once you internalize that, ask yourself how you could move forward in a way that can actually work for you (and doesn't assume that you will be bitten by a radioactive spider and become Superwoman tomorrow).

In all likelihood, there are obstacles you're not accounting for that will become evident later. Don't make plans that are so fragile they could fall apart if you have to take a sick day, because I can almost guarantee it will be an inevitability.

Thank you! I needed to hear this

 

[natanguyen]

This makes no sense. Are you taking the exam for fun? You know the score will only be valid for 3 years max for admissions decisions, but it remains on your record "forever."

I apologize for being confusing. I accidentally put that I am graduating in 2027 but I meant I am graduating 2026 next year. I am applying for med school next year in May. I'm not taking the MCAT for fun; I'm taking it May 8 before I apply. I know it remains on my record.

 

[nobadwaves]

Next time you see the 4.0gpa, 528MCAT, 5000 hours research, 2500 hours hospice volunteer, president of 3 clubs, treasurer of two more...realize they are lying. Will it get them through the process? Maybe. Maybe not. But, who cares?

The false bravado and one-upmanship occasionally on SDN and more so on Reddit will feed your anxiety. View self-reported stats through the lens of it being lies (yes, even from your fellow classmates) and just work on your own stuff. You cannot control other people, but you can control what you do and who you listen to. Just focus on the controllables.

Soooo...

1. Touch some grass and enjoy life. The more time you spend around medicine you realize how precious youth, time, and living life is. Go travel, gain worldly experience and perspective. Have something to write about in your primary and secondaries that may interest the reader - but more importantly brings joy to yourself. Shoot there are even plenty of volunteer opportunities abroad (Best Medical Volunteer Abroad Programs 2025 & 2026 | IVHQ).

2. Focus on your grades and MCAT. Take extra time if needed. It's not a race. For example, I'm doing it at 42. If you need to take a beat to finish out with A's and do well on your MCAT - do so. No one will blink an eye that you decided to take control of a situation and make a responsible decision for your academic, physical, and mental well-being.

3. And like some other folks on here said, I would consider counseling. In many situations in life, you'll find reasons to feel like an imposter (I'm not good enough). This will rob you of many things and will cripple your efforts towards the goals you wish to achieve. It would be best to learn strategies to deal with this now while the situation is easier than it will be if you decide to learn these strategies in your 30's or 40's.

4. Don't feel the need to be disingenuous in regards to volunteering or research. Find something you enjoy and generally like going back to. For instance, I love working with refugees/asylees and veterans because of my years in Iraq/Afghanistan in the military, enjoy tutoring for free, but I dislike volunteering at homeless shelters in my area. It may take a minute trying some things out to see if you like it, but say yes to the opportunities that come your way and you'll sort it out.

I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck on your journey!