Feeling enourmous guilt..

[snowlake]

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Hi all:

My lab finishes at around 10pm. Usually it finishes much before that. But last night it was a long lab. So, as I was rushing to my car, and elderly woman asked me if I know when the last bus comes to the campus. I had no idea since I come to the campus very infrequently.

Then I asked her where she was going. And I could see she was desperate. She is very poor - could've been homeless too. Didn't ask. But she wanted a ride which would've been 20 minutes out of my way. It was getting late and I knew my wife would get mad if I am too late. I was feeling extremely bad for this woman but didn't know what to do. Taxi was not an option for her and I had only 1 dollar in my wallet - I usually have 20 to 30.

So, I basically dropped her off at a nearby Gas station - I thought maybe she could find someone else there. Its in a area where many people go towards where she was trying to go. But for me it was in the opposite direction.

As I dropped her off there, she thanked me etc. But I can't stop thinking about it. I should've been kinder with her. Later on, I thought I could've used the ATM machine and get 20 to 30 bucks and call a cab for her. Or what if wife gets mad one day, I could've given her a ride and be 40 mins late.

I am just feeling enourmous guilt - I am gonna go to the gas station after work and see if I can find out abt her. Hopefully someone gave her a ride. But I will handle this type of situation better next time.

Anyways..sorry to write this long story. I just feel aweful about the whole thing.

Take care all.

 

[evajaclynn]

Hi all:

My lab finishes at around 10pm. Usually it finishes much before that. But last night it was a long lab. So, as I was rushing to my car, and elderly woman asked me if I know when the last bus comes to the campus. I had no idea since I come to the campus very infrequently.

Then I asked her where she was going. And I could see she was desperate. She is very poor - could've been homeless too. Didn't ask. But she wanted a ride which would've been 20 minutes out of my way. It was getting late and I knew my wife would get mad if I am too late. I was feeling extremely bad for this woman but didn't know what to do. Taxi was not an option for her and I had only 1 dollar in my wallet - I usually have 20 to 30.

So, I basically dropped her off at a nearby Gas station - I thought maybe she could find someone else there. Its in a area where many people go towards where she was trying to go. But for me it was in the opposite direction.

As I dropped her off there, she thanked me etc. But I can't stop thinking about it. I should've been kinder with her. Later on, I thought I could've used the ATM machine and get 20 to 30 bucks and call a cab for her. Or what if wife gets mad one day, I could've given her a ride and be 40 mins late.

I am just feeling enourmous guilt - I am gonna go to the gas station after work and see if I can find out abt her. Hopefully someone gave her a ride. But I will handle this type of situation better next time.

Anyways..sorry to write this long story. I just feel aweful about the whole thing.

Take care all.

Its probably really good for you to get this off your chest, so to speak, especially since you can't stop thinking about it. I feel this way a lot, whether it is regret for not giving money/food to a homeless person or something else.

Try not to feel so awful. Perhaps there is something else you can do to 'give back'. Think about what you would do next time if a similar situation came up. And it may not always be a good idea to be giving people that you don't know rides. You do not know their true intent. I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't have given this woman a ride - I'm just saying that it would probably be different if I, a female, let strangers into my car.

I'm sure that this lady that you helped is fine, but if it makes you feel any better to go back to the gas station to check on her, then you should probably do just that. 👍

 

[efex101]

I for one never give rides to strangers no matter what. So you did good.

 

[QofQuimica]

I agree that you shouldn't give rides to strangers, although it's understandable that you wanted to in this situation. I think if you really felt like you had to help the woman, you could have gotten her the $20 for the cab, but it certainly wasn't an obligation for you to do this for her. Here is a suggestion: I always keep $20 of mad money in my wallet for emergencies, and I keep it separate from the rest of my money so I don't use it by accident. I've spent it a few times, but then I always replace it the first chance I get. Maybe this would be something you could start doing from now on also.