Feeling like I won’t be a good doctor

[anxietyvet]

Second year vet student and having a hard time believing I can actually turn out to be a good vet. A little bit of back story is that I have generalized anxiety disorder and this feeling of ending up as an inadequate doctor has been growing for the last semester. Grades/tests have been great but after an exam a teacher will reference something like a drug i just got tested on and I completely blank on what it’s used for. On winter break I thought it would be a good idea to shadow clinics in my home town to get more experience (most of mine previously has been in research with little hands on as an assistant at a GP practice). First day the nurse asks me to monitor a cats heart with just my hand, no stethoscope, and I had no idea what I was doing. Went home and tried to feel my cats heart beat for an hour before finally feeling anything. Long story short I’ve been having panic attacks about how much information we’re given and not being able to retain it long term on top of feeling like I can’t perform basic skills someone leaves me to do at a clinic. Any advice or any one that’s able to relate to how I’ve been feeling would help tremendously. I’ve been having a pretty hard time and I’m scared the closer I get to clinics and graduating the worse my anxiety is going to get.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[futuredvm297]

I have a fair amount of experience, and probably could not monitor a cats HR by feeling its chest. Maybe its pulse in the hindlimbs, but even that is variable since cat pulse readings take a magical touch. Your job right now is to absorb as much knowledge as you can, not to practice clinical skills yet. Your whole clinical year is meant for you to start learning how to apply everything you just learned, into doing hands-on skills. I have classmates who have extensive research backgrounds, and never had any real vet experience prior to vet school. They were scared sh*tless about handling animals, but now are fully comfortable with it after some time in clinics. Over the summer, get some experience by being a vet assistant! Honestly, all my procedural skills have been learned from techs. They are the true master of the trade, and this profession would sink without them. You have a long way to go, don't fret now.

 

[DVMDream]

Feeling a cat's heart beat through the chest isn't an appropriate way to evaluate a heart beat anyway. That's a rather bizarre request to ask you to do that instead of listen with a stethoscope which is more reliable and accurate. I think that nurse needs better training.

 

[JaynaAli]

One of the most important skills you learn in vet school is how to find resources for things you don’t know and how to properly evaluate those resources so you know if they’re credible. No one is expected to remember and retain everything you learn. There are only a handful of things you absolutely need to be able to recall immediately (mostly emergency drug doses, tbh), and almost everything else can be looked up. Also I agree that monitoring via heartbeat is strange, especially if you have better means like a stethoscope or actual monitoring equipment available.

With that said, if you’re having this much anxiety associated with vet school and expectations, I would recommend you seek out some professional help if you aren’t already. Find a counselor who can help you with coping strategies and mental health, see a doctor for medications if needed. Everyone gets nervous in vet school, it’s totally fine to feel that way and imposter syndrome is very real, but the amount of anxiety you describe in your post seems higher than what I’ve heard others express. Learning techniques to help you now will only help you in the future once you start surgeries and having actual patients.

 

[CalliopeDVM]

Feeling a cat's heart beat through the chest isn't an appropriate way to evaluate a heart beat anyway. That's a rather bizarre request to ask you to do that instead of listen with a stethoscope which is more reliable and accurate. I think that nurse needs better training.

It could have been a test of sorts and a reminder of basic principles: That it's still possible to "monitor" (not evaluate) a patient without equipment, if it's necessary. My techs will sometimes place a hand on their patient's chest intermittently while prepping for surgery, for instance.

To the OP: Everyone in vet school feels that way, to a point. Hey, even after graduation, we all sometimes feel that way too......to a point. If you believe that your anxiety is greater than your classmates', you should seep professional help, either through your own doctor or the university's health services. There are lots of coping mechanisms that might help, or you might need some medication - either way, there is help out there for you......this doesn't mean you can't or won't be a good vet.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Do yourself a favor. Anytime someone is talking to you about something as if you should know something when you actually don’t, or asks you to do something you don’t know how to do… get in the habit of saying “I’m not familiar with that. Can you explain it to me?”

Don’t get flustered. Don’t get embarrassed. Don’t feel shameful. Or even if you do, don’t let it consume you, and don’t let it make you try to play it cool and try to pass on by. THAT IS WHAT A BAD DOCTOR DOES. And that’s how patients end up with adverse outcomes.

The biggest and most important lesson you learn in this profession is that you can’t know everything. In fact the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know. The difference between a good doctor and a bad doctor is that a good doctor is honest when they don’t know something, and ensures they get the info they need to take care of the patient in front of them.

Also don’t fret that you seem to know/remember nothing. Even at the end of third year, you’ll be reeeeeaaaallly dumb and clumsy when it comes to actual clinical cases. But it’ll come together eventually as long as you are open to continue learning rather than trying just to look smart.

Also, embarrassment is like the best catalyst to learning. The stupid things you say, and the stupidest things you were embarrassed to say you didn’t know? That stuff BURNS in your memory

 

[Rainheart]

Second year vet student and having a hard time believing I can actually turn out to be a good vet. A little bit of back story is that I have generalized anxiety disorder and this feeling of ending up as an inadequate doctor has been growing for the last semester. Grades/tests have been great but after an exam a teacher will reference something like a drug i just got tested on and I completely blank on what it’s used for. On winter break I thought it would be a good idea to shadow clinics in my home town to get more experience (most of mine previously has been in research with little hands on as an assistant at a GP practice). First day the nurse asks me to monitor a cats heart with just my hand, no stethoscope, and I had no idea what I was doing. Went home and tried to feel my cats heart beat for an hour before finally feeling anything. Long story short I’ve been having panic attacks about how much information we’re given and not being able to retain it long term on top of feeling like I can’t perform basic skills someone leaves me to do at a clinic. Any advice or any one that’s able to relate to how I’ve been feeling would help tremendously. I’ve been having a pretty hard time and I’m scared the closer I get to clinics and graduating the worse my anxiety is going to get.

I can relate to the entirety of your post. I graduated in 2017 and have felt imposter syndrome since day one. I was actually diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder about 1 year ago. I have been on medication since and it has changed my life. I highly recommend seeking a professional in mental health if you haven't. Feel free to message me if you would like to chat about my experience while in practice. You aren't going to have all the answers, even after being in practice for over 4 years I still learn everyday on the job. Keep working towards your goal, you will continue to get better each and every day.

 

[Doctor-S]

The biggest and most important lesson you learn in this profession is that you can’t know everything. In fact the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know. The difference between a good doctor and a bad doctor is that a good doctor is honest when they don’t know something, and ensures they get the info they need to take care of the patient in front of them.

Can definitely confirm as doc working with med students and residents - this is sound advice for anyone practicing medicine!