Feeling unsure

[EUpremed]

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Hi,
I am in the process of trying to decide what to do in terms of career, and could really use some advice. I have a PhD in biology but I never really liked research.

I am definitely not happy with the choice to do science as it has been less than fulfilling for me. I want to go back to school, but there seem to be so many obstacles. Also, being a non-traditional student, I am not sure of my chances of getting in. My undergraduate GPA was 3.76/3.85 (cGPA/sGPA), and it has been almost 10 years since I have take the undergraduate science courses. I am not a particularly good test taker anyway.

Has anyone felt similar or have any perspective? I think about going back to school everday and am afraid that if I don't, I will regret it. I would definitely appreciate any advice or insight. Thanks.

 

[betterlate]

I think about going back to school everday and am afraid that if I don't, I will regret it.

There's your answer.

Obviously this falls into the category of easier said than done. Everything you talk about - finances, emotional resources, etc - is a valid point. That said, if you really believe that you'll regret not going to medical school for the rest of your life, then you should go. Finances, emotional resources, etc are things that you need to figure out as you make a plan for getting into and through medical school, but they are not things that should prevent you from going at all.

My only caveat here would be this: if you do not have a lot of hands on experience working with patients, you should gain that experience before committing to medical school. 1) Because it will boost your application, and most importantly 2) because it will convince you of the rightness of your decision. (Or, potentially, convince you that you had overly romantic ideas about being a doctor and the reality isn't such a good match for you, personally.) By being absolutely positive that this is what you want before you get started, you'll have something to cling to when the inevitable burn-out occurs.

Re: your age - dude. Your options are not 'go to medical school and get older' or 'don't go to medical school and don't get older.' You're aging one way or the other. Your choice is to be a doctor or be something else. Obviously medical school will affect some life choices, like if/when/how to start a family, but it doesn't preclude those choices. Do what makes you happy and the rest will fall into place.

Good luck!

 

[Parts Unknown]

Has anyone felt similar or have any perspective? I think about going back to school everday and am afraid that if I don't, I will regret it. I would definitely appreciate any advice or insight. Thanks.

I found myself with similar feelings towards research after about 3 years in my PhD program. I finished, but in the meantime took the MCAT and positioned myself to slingshot into medical school on the heels of my dissertation.

I was also exhausted from my PhD, but that quickly gave way to elation when I knew that I was finally on the right track.

At 36 I am now less than a year from practicing. The age thing sucks, but I figured I'm going to turn 40 someday, then 50, then 60... I might as well be doing what I want when those milestones come to pass.

As for money, being in poverty for med school wasn't my definition of fun, but I just tried to embrace the student lifestyle one more time. I got a roommate, hit the bars with my classmates, and actually had a pretty good time. Residency paychecks aren't huge, but they feel that way compared to what you are used to. If you should do residency in a place with strong programs and low cost of living (like Iowa) you can live like a prince.

In the short term, just focus on the MCAT. I did well enough on the test, and that really solidified my decision to go forward. If you perform solidly, I suspect you will likewise feel the inexorable pull towards the MD.

 

[njbmd]

Hi,
LARGE SNIP
I am definitely not happy with the choice to do science as it has been less than fulfilling for me. I want to go back to school, but there seem to be so many obstacles. Also, being a non-traditional student, I am not sure of my chances of getting in. My undergraduate GPA was 3.76/3.85 (cGPA/sGPA), and it has been almost 10 years since I have take the undergraduate science courses. I am not a particularly good test taker anyway.

Has anyone felt similar or have any perspective? I think about going back to school everday and am afraid that if I don't, I will regret it. I would definitely appreciate any advice or insight. Thanks.

I certainly was never exhausted from my Ph.D and I loved research but my comment to you is stop telling yourself that you are not a "good test taker". At your level, you can learn test taking skills so get on this. Everything about medicine from the Medical College Admissions Test to your licensure exams to your in-service and specialty board exams are about taking tests. If you anticipate a career in medicine, you need to "get on the stick" and learn what you need master any type of exam that comes up.

I have had the pleasure of taking comprehensives, orals, dissertation defense, standardized pre-boards, clinical shelfs, licensure and oral specialty/sub-specialty exams. They are all a variation on a theme that can be mastered but you can't talk yourself out of doing what you have to do.

Next, don't look to medicine because you are unhappy with science. There are many things in medicine to be unhappy with at present. Be sure that you investigate them fully before making the commitment to this long term goal. Medicine isn't just about having a job that pays well (may not pay so well after health care reform anyway) but about mastering what it takes to get a very difficult (and sometimes mundane) job done.

Whatever job you do, you can combine it with having a family. Medicine does not send you into convent or monastery and thus, plenty of men and women become parents during their medical careers. I am the daughter of a physician myself and I had the best parents on earth without a doubt.

Medicine is no more demanding that any other career that requires hands work. There are plenty of chefs, business owners, engineers and others that spend as much time at their jobs as physicians. In short, you can make time for what's important to you in this profession.

My perspective: Hit me with your best shot. I will exceed your expectations every time and produce excellence. I just don't know anything else.

 

[futureboy]

Also, being a non-traditional student, I am not sure of my chances of getting in. My undergraduate GPA was 3.76/3.85 (cGPA/sGPA), and it has been almost 10 years since I have take the undergraduate science courses. I am not a particularly good test taker anyway.

With those numbers, you must be a good test taker. Don't sell yourself short.

 

[J ROD]

I think you should try and get some clinical experience to make sure medicine is what you want to do.

 

[fizzgig]

I found myself with similar feelings towards research after about 3 years in my PhD program. I finished, but in the meantime took the MCAT and positioned myself to slingshot into medical school on the heels of my dissertation.

I was also exhausted from my PhD, but that quickly gave way to elation when I knew that I was finally on the right track.

At 36 I am now less than a year from practicing. The age thing sucks, but I figured I'm going to turn 40 someday, then 50, then 60... I might as well be doing what I want when those milestones come to pass.

As for money, being in poverty for med school wasn't my definition of fun, but I just tried to embrace the student lifestyle one more time. I got a roommate, hit the bars with my classmates, and actually had a pretty good time. Residency paychecks aren't huge, but they feel that way compared to what you are used to. If you should do residency in a place with strong programs and low cost of living (like Iowa) you can live like a prince.

In the short term, just focus on the MCAT. I did well enough on the test, and that really solidified my decision to go forward. If you perform solidly, I suspect you will likewise feel the inexorable pull towards the MD.

this is essentially where i am (except i think my indecision and worry over what my decision should be from every angle is dragging out grad school a LOT)... how do you manage to solidify the decision and get convinced that you're heading towards the career you want, and not just trying to leave a career that you don't want? how to you also balance the simultaneous tracks of trying to NOT let all this distract from your current work but at the same time plotting prereqs, saving money for applications/travel, plotting mcat study etc etc? it seems like such a big decision that i want to be all perfect and positive and have laid all of my concerns aside and then turn and focus like a monster on phd work, but obviously the two timelines need to be worked on simultaneously for me to be successful...

i guess it's just scary letting go into the idea that i might start over at 30, go way into debt, not be finished til i'm 40, and have so little time that i never have a family, and yet at the same time if i cannot let this go (and it appears that i can't scare myself off!) then i might be 40 and unhappy and stressed despite my 'free' time at some point anyway... and then even in my moments where i try to set aside all that kind of extra worry, just the logistics of DOING it are tough on their own!

I think about going back to school everday and am afraid that if I don't, I will regret it.

And to the OP, because I just got lost in my own little similar freakout there - I'm still far enough away from the things that make this 'real' (taking the actual mcat, telling my advisor my plan, etc) that I still worry a lot. But I circle for less time each time i freak out, and I always seem to settle back down on the same spot. If I could convince myself to NOT want this I think I would, but in the face of ALL the stuff that makes this seem like a bad idea, do you come back to the conclusion 'well what else would I do??' This quote of yours kinda sums it up at some point - I think about this EVERY DAY. It's not a whim, and not something you haven't taken some time with, so maybe it's the real deal! Good luck with whatever you do! I hope to be all phd'd like you at some point 🙂

 

[EUpremed]

Thanks for everyone's support and replies. And to Fizzgig- Best of luck with your Ph.D. I have a very unsupportive advisor and so, he does not know of my thoughts to apply yet. He certainly would NOT be supportive. I am dreading asking for a rec. letter...

One thing, that I did not do, was leave early from my PhD to go to Med school. Retrospectively, I wish I had done so (as someone else from my program did). There is no shame in deciding research is not the right path and cutting your losses.

Ultimately, I am still struggling with my decision to apply to med school but my postdoc has solidified to me that research is not the right path. I guess, I would rather financially struggle and be a happy person in the long run, so I'm going to go for it. Life is too short, right?

Thanks again for everyone's support and kind words... they are definitely needed and appreciated.

 

[Scottish Chap]

I think the doubts you have are normal, and it would be worth volunteering as others have suggested to convince yourself that this is what you really want to do. Know assuredly, however, that there is nothing romantic about a career in medicine. If you are not that happy where you are, the 'grass really is not greener' on the other side, I assure you.

There are several PhD-to-MDs here who will tell you that medical school and residency presents a whole other layer of pain and frustration that cannot be replicated in many other professions (just ask QofQuimica). Medicine does not have exclusive real estate for long hours (ask an Ibanker), but it's way more physically and emotionally demanding than a research career. I did a PhD in 3.5 years, I was productive, and I did two postdocs simultaneously, so I was not a stranger to a 90+ hour work week before medicine. There is something about having complete loss of control of your time that a career in medicine demands which makes it more painful.

Also, you were at least paid as a graduate student. You will have negative income as a medical student and you'll pay back 2-3 dollars for every dollar that you borrow. I don't want to sound too cynical but, honestly, I always tell people that if there is any career that you they can be content with outside of medicine, they should do that. A lot of medicine is mundane, and it's a team effort. Residency in many respects sees you 'involute' because much of your day-to-day work focuses on 'making it happen'. I'm a resident at a tier-one, insanely busy hospital that is always at maximum capacity; you are so busy admitting patients and discharging, and taking care of last minute solutions to impossible problems that it can make you feel less than human. You still want to do this?

Now, when I was leaving the lab in the early hours of the morning as a Ph.D. student ten years ago, I would pass the ED and see doctors listening to people with their stethoscopes and it looked a lot more glamorous than what I was doing then. I wished that I was able to serve in that way. Do I regret my decision? No. Would I do it all again? Yes. I'm just trying to challenge you to do this only if you absolutely will not rest until you've made it to the other side. From my (limited) experience, if you want to be an M.D. or D.O, there is nothing that will ever satisfy that. We need more doctors who'll treat patients well. We don't need another doctor who will be mean to patients because of unhappiness in their own life (not implying anything by that statement - I've just seen it happen).

Good luck - whatever you decide.

 

[QofQuimica]

OP, I agree with everything SC said, especially the advice to spend some time shadowing or volunteering in a hospital. You need to do that anyway if you want to be competitive for admissions, and hopefully it will give you some insight as to whether you might like to be a physician.

I would also humbly suggest to you that right now, while you're feeling emotionally and physically exhausted from finishing your PhD, may not be the best time to make a life-changing decision like going to medical school. As SC alluded, it's important to make the change for the right reasons. Don't try to run away from science to medicine because you hate science, or there is a real chance you will be back here in a year or two posting about how much you hate medicine. Also, don't think that you won't be struggling for the next eight years if you go into medicine, because you're talking at *minimum* another seven years of training on top of what you've already done. You will need a lot of motivation to make it into, and through, medical school.

It's a little early to worry about this right now, but just FYI, some schools may want a research letter from your PI. Your PI for your PhD is probably a better choice since you've only been doing your post doc for a few months. Hopefully that person will be willing to help.

Best of luck. 🙂

 

[Parts Unknown]

My biggest concern at this point is that I am now living in the UK and do not have access to a course-based MCAT class. The only thing available is the Kaplan online course. And, as I mentioned before, I am not a particularly gifted test taker- meaning that I put in tremendous amount of time/energy to do well. Some people sort-of inherently know answers to multiple choice- I am not one of those people. But, with a lot of preparation I hope to do well. I have about 5 months until the MCAT- is this adequate time even though I have to work during the day? Anyone have experience with this?

Is it just me or has MCAT prep gotten completely crazy these days? When I was getting ready in 1999-2000 the thought of taking a class never crossed my mind. I got Peterson's The Gold Standard MCAT and a friend donated some of his Princeton Review books. Then I made myself a schedule and just studied for the bastard. Scored a 32 (11BS 11PS 10VR). It was good enough, although in retrospect I should have taken more practice exams.

 

[engrphd2md]

OP, I am in a similar situation as you. I am currently working on my dissertation in Electrical Engineering. I too debated the question of whether it is worthwhile to start over for quite some time. What solidified it for me is working in industry as an engineer and I just couldn't see myself doing that for the rest of my life. I have to say though that I do enjoy science, and research but I felt that I was missing the human interaction. The urge to study medicine and work with people which I have tried to suppress in the past was coming back again. So I decided I should figure out if this is really what I want and if so make it happen.

I quit a well paying job a few months ago, so I could finish my dissertation and take steps towards med school. I agree with what others have said that it would be wise to get some clinical exposure so you can at least get a feel for what a career in medicine will be like before you make a decision to take the leap. I started volunteering in a hospital ER a few hours a week and I will start volunteering at a local free clinic soon. My pre-reqs are ~10yrs old so I will take a couple upper division classes and I am reviewing all old coursework for the MCAT in my spare time. I am using the Examkrackers books as a resource for review in addition to my old textbooks. I also plan to use the practice exams from AAMC to practice before the exam. Hope this helps with your MCAT prep.

You will find great advice on these forums from others who have been through it. If you keep feeling that you might regret it if you don't try, you should definitely give it a shot. However, as others have said make sure you are not just doing it because you are frustrated with what you are doing right now since it is a long road ahead and the reality is there will be lots of sacrifices, lots of hard work and no financial stability for some time. Your undergraduate GPA looks pretty competitive, so if you rock the MCAT and get some clinical exposure, you probably have a good shot. Good luck to you 🙂