fellowship acceptence question

[pookiewarrior]

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good morning,
I am currently interviewing for a non match fellowship. In this process I interviewed at a program that I truly liked and the program liked me a lot too. Strong interest was showed from both sides (me included) and they said they will likely make me an offer. However no official offer was made on the day of interview. They did make an official offer and sent an offer letter the next day at which point I asked for a time line (mentioned in the offer letter) before I give my decision. Of course, 😛 the next week I had interview at a program that I liked more and when they made the official offer I accepted and emailed the first program saying I am really sorry but I cannot accept a position. However, to my shock I recieve an email from their program director saying that I behaved unprofessionally and backed out of a commitment. And that he will make sure word gets around of my behaviour. I emailed and called to apologize and clarify but it did not sooth things at all. I am feeling pretty terrible about the situation. Is there anything I can do in this situation (other than be extra careful in next job hunts) I am sure I burned my bridges with the first program. Any input in this regard will be super helpful. Of note, I have signed an offer letter with the second program.

 

[Law2Doc]

It happens. It will blow over. There's nothing you can do to smooth things out and you've probably burned a bridge.

 

[Obnoxious Dad]

I presume that he can not produce a document showing that you made any commitment. I would call this guy up and set him straight. Tell him that if he starts defaming you, you will sue his butt off. Count your lucky stars that you didn't go to work for this jerk.

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

It happens. It will blow over. There's nothing you can do to smooth things out and you've probably burned a bridge.

Let's keep this thread in mind for the next allopathic thread about how much the match sucks and that things would be so much better without it.

 

[RM38]

I also think this will blow over. The PD would likely make sure they never hire you at that institution, but in the end they will probably get somebody else that they like and will calm down. From what you said you certainly didn't do anything unprofessional and programs do the same thing to applicants all the time and nothing ever really comes of it. I don't think you should call and threaten to sue as that will only make them even more angry. Unless you are in a super small field where you almost have to work in academics or are trying to move back to that area I would think it would be fine. I am not a lawyer, but unless the PD defames you publicly I would think that would be hard to prove in court unless somebody told you Dr. X said XYZ about you.

 

[pookiewarrior]

Thank you so much for your replies. Unfortunately this is a small field but I know once I start looking for jobs I will be looking very broadly and don't intend to look at that program at all. I do not intent to sue the PD 🙂 I have signed an offer letter with the second program. Do you think this can affect my position there?

 

[pookiewarrior]

And if so, should I talk to the second program myself first and let them know what happened?

 

[Dral]

So just to be clear, you never let the first program know you were accepting either on paper, electronically, or verbally (even a hint)?

Even if you didn't technically back out of it, waiting over a week is a bit unprofessional. At least it would be in my fellowship field.

Either way,what's done is done.

 

[IlDestriero]

You have to be more specific about what the offer letter said re the "time line" and what you told them.
I did my fellowship before there was a match in my field and received offers from all of the programs where I interviewed. I told them all that I was actively interviewing at other programs and asked when they needed their final answer. They understood and were universally helpful, even that school in Boston. A couple of them I told not long after the offer that I wasn't interested as I preferred other programs, though I didn't say it quite so bluntly. I did the same with job offers. Holding multiple offers for employment or fellowship is fine as long as you are honest with them and make a decision within the time you and the other party agreed upon. And you can leverage one job against another as needed.
If you did what you agreed and he sent you that BS crybaby email, tell him that you did as you agreed upon and he should go pound sand.

 

[pookiewarrior]

The timeline was a week and I answered them then. When I recieved the letter I said I will reply on the date as mentioned in the offer letter.

 

[pookiewarrior]

As in when I recieved the letter I told them I will get back with my decision on the date mentioned in the letter. I know I cant do anyhting actively about it anymore probably. I just also want an idea about whether I should let the program where I accepted the offer know about this or not.

 

[Dral]

If you truly did nothing wrong, I would let it go and just move on. The program you're going to doesn't really need to know imo.

 

[pookiewarrior]

Thank you so much.

 

[pookiewarrior]

And I could not have accepted anything on paper/electronically or verbal since they never made an offer on the day of interview. They did say they will likely do it and I did say they were my top choice. In any case I will be more careful in future about it (probably shouldnt even have said they were my top choice) This was not a nice experience and I definitely do not intend to burn any more bridges.

 

[Dral]

Well, it's rolling offers, they may have been your top choice at the time, but that changed. As long as it was within the agreed time frame, then it is what it is.

 

[pookiewarrior]

Ah well, thank you so much.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

The above explains the problem. You told them they were your "top choice". They assumed that meant you would say yes. You're fine here -- you made no real promises. But a good lesson to all to be careful what we say. Same applies to myself/programs -- if I tell an applicant that they are "ranked to match", they had better match with me if they rank me #1. Saying later that "things changed" or that "in most years you would have matched, but this year was more competitive" is weak sauce. Better not to say anything.