freaking out...

[sapama]

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Hello everyone, I'm just freaking out a little bit and was wondering if others have felt similar at times. I left a job I enjoyed to go back to school, my family is very supportive and I have been doing well in my 1st semester back classes. I was originally planning on applying for admission fall 2011 but I just don't think my chances are good, I think I need to postpone another year to get more coursework under my belt before MCAT and more volunteer time. I'm just all of a sudden panicking that what if I've screwed up? That I should have stayed at my job, that I'm not as good as I thought I was? I always enjoyed school and always got by without much studying effort, and it's dawning on me that I need to put in a great deal more studying than I ever have before and I don't know how. I'm finding myself so gripped with panic that I can't barely concentrate to study. I've never had test anxiety and now it's rearing it's ugly head, I've always been a big fish in a small pond. I have finals in a few weeks but I just can't seem to make myself focus, I just would rather sleep or read. I know I'm self destructing, I've put in too much work over the semester to freak now, but I don't know how to snap out of it.

I haven't spoken to anyone about my doubts because they are all SOO excited for me and I'm terrified of letting myself or anyone down. The idea of turning back at this point is just devastating, but I don't know how to move forward without so much fear.

I know I want this career so badly, it's just that the path is so daunting and the idea of failure is so real... Sorry this is negative, I just don't know who else to talk to and I thought others might have felt similar in the past.

 

[TAWS]

The best advice I ever got was to never apply to medical school until you are fully ready. You don't want a trial run at applying to med schools because not only is it more expensive but also harder every time you re-apply.

 

[reeserunner]

While a career as a physician is going to be very demanding, it does NOT require perfection. Everyone struggles at some time along the way to becoming a doctor. Try to look at this as a challenge that will make you stronger and more prepared.

 

[reeserunner]

The best advice I ever got was to never apply to medical school until you are fully ready. You don't want a trial run at applying to med schools because not only is it more expensive but also harder every time you re-apply.

I agree that you should wait until you're completely ready to apply, but don't give up on your preparation.

 

[gaccboom]

You are absolutely not alone. Many, many pre-med students (and med students, too) have very real doubts about whether they can succeed.

You say that you've done well in school before, and that you're doing well in your classes now. That's good!

On the other hand, it sounds as if the self-doubt is interfering with your ability to study and do the things you need to do. The fact that you can see this in yourself is a good thing - it means that you're paying attention to yourself. Also good! But this is probably a sign that you should get some professional help. Do you have a counselor available through your school? Talking to someone about your fear is probably a good way to start with things, and it sounds as though talking to a professional (i.e., not your family) would be easier for you. They may also have better advice as to whether you should consider seeing a psychiatrist and being worked up for depression.

So...keep your head up. Remember that there's lots of other pre-meds/med students out there who go through this, too. And find someone to talk to.

Good luck.

 

[J ROD]

If you dont believe in yourself, how am I supposed to?

Do work or go home!! Man up!!

 

[icalz]

Yeah become used to the fact that there will be many, many moments that you will doubt yourself and your decision to pursue medicine....it goes away, and then comes back, and then goes away. You just have to have perseverance. Don't give up unless you bomb the mcat a couple of times (or three), or you can't get your gpa over 3.2 ish. I don't necessarily believe that the key to successfully becoming a physician is a powerful intellect, rather I feel that it is a solid work ethic....if you have it, most everything will fall into place.

 

[MidnightSun32]

I've had similar issues. I left my good paying job to go back to school with zero support from anyone. I recently let my family's nagging get to me and took a job as a manager again, but now I'm juggling 65 hour work weeks (gotta love retail management) and being a full time student. This is my reality & I just deal with it like everyone else does. Sometimes I freak out and wonder what am I doing, but I know this is what I really want. I still have two years before I'll be ready to apply and that alone was discouraging. Basically, you just need to believe in yourself, figure out a good study method, and find some help with the test anxiety. Ask other students what's working for them as far as studying. I'm not sure about test anxiety because I've never dealt with it, but don't let this ruin your dreams. You are the only one that's going to get yourself into med school, so work hard & make it happen. 🙂

 

[sapama]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I do really believe that I can do this and be a great doctor. I really never have had trouble with school but I don't suppose I've ever wanted it this badly either. It's all just a little overwhelming when I know I left a good career and it's just now dawning on me that it's going to take longer to get in than I had first thought. I greatly appreciate everyone's thoughts, I just need to remind myself of the bigger picture when I get bogged down with the daily grind.

 

[MidnightSun32]

It was an initial shock at first when I realized it'd take longer than I thought, but you'll do great! I'm glad to see other people in the same situation though... you've helped me too! Good luck with everything!

 

[sgtbrushes]

How long have you been out of school in your successful career? This semester is my first college experience, and I'm 24. It was definitely difficult to get used to studying again. But I feel so much more comfortable with study management skills now than I did at the beginning of the semester. Don't you? (Hint: you should).

 

[PanicAttack]

You can do it, panicking and all.

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