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- Feb 14, 2009
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Hey all,
Long time lurker, first time poster. I'm having a "mid-training crisis" and was hoping for some guidance or perspective. I'm currently a PGY-2 in a competitive field. Great program, great people, no issues there. My one goal since childhood has been to become a physician. I saw becoming a physician as the ultimate achievement in life. Like many others, I prioritized getting into the best college/med school/residency over social life, family, hobbies, other life experiences. Medicine was my passion and my calling and no sacrifice seemed too great.
Fast forward a decade (I will spare you all the details). Medicine is no longer a passion. It is simply a job...a job that I dislike many days. I feel like the cost/benefit ratio of a career in medicine is favorable if you value medicine over family/friends/interests/etc. If medicine becomes a job, the long work hours/declining reimbursement/entitled patients/medicolegal climate/stressful work/etc make the cost/benefit ratio, in my opinion, very unfavorable.
After accepting this realization, that medicine simply isn't "worth it," I have had some difficulty dealing with the time I have lost the last 6 years. Even more troubling, I realize I have a few more years before I could have a more normal life. Unfortunately, for me, working and studying 80 hours/week is simply not compatable with much of a social life. If I had any extra time, I would prefer to sleep 8 hours a night rather than 6.
My biggest motivation at the moment is an ethical obligation to become the best physician I can be even if I regret pursuing medicine in the first place. Of course debt is also an issue. The only light at the end of the tunnel for me is the ability to work half the year or less when I'm done and still do well enough financially. With all of the time spent, it seems like a waste.
Long story I know. My question is, for those of you who lost your passion for medicine, how did you deal with it? Did you ever get the passion back? How do you deal with the regret of pursuing medicine in the first place?
I am committed to becoming the best physician I can be, again primarily out of ethical considerations to society and a personal commitment to do my best. I'm just not sure how to continue my career with this baggage.
Long time lurker, first time poster. I'm having a "mid-training crisis" and was hoping for some guidance or perspective. I'm currently a PGY-2 in a competitive field. Great program, great people, no issues there. My one goal since childhood has been to become a physician. I saw becoming a physician as the ultimate achievement in life. Like many others, I prioritized getting into the best college/med school/residency over social life, family, hobbies, other life experiences. Medicine was my passion and my calling and no sacrifice seemed too great.
Fast forward a decade (I will spare you all the details). Medicine is no longer a passion. It is simply a job...a job that I dislike many days. I feel like the cost/benefit ratio of a career in medicine is favorable if you value medicine over family/friends/interests/etc. If medicine becomes a job, the long work hours/declining reimbursement/entitled patients/medicolegal climate/stressful work/etc make the cost/benefit ratio, in my opinion, very unfavorable.
After accepting this realization, that medicine simply isn't "worth it," I have had some difficulty dealing with the time I have lost the last 6 years. Even more troubling, I realize I have a few more years before I could have a more normal life. Unfortunately, for me, working and studying 80 hours/week is simply not compatable with much of a social life. If I had any extra time, I would prefer to sleep 8 hours a night rather than 6.
My biggest motivation at the moment is an ethical obligation to become the best physician I can be even if I regret pursuing medicine in the first place. Of course debt is also an issue. The only light at the end of the tunnel for me is the ability to work half the year or less when I'm done and still do well enough financially. With all of the time spent, it seems like a waste.
Long story I know. My question is, for those of you who lost your passion for medicine, how did you deal with it? Did you ever get the passion back? How do you deal with the regret of pursuing medicine in the first place?
I am committed to becoming the best physician I can be, again primarily out of ethical considerations to society and a personal commitment to do my best. I'm just not sure how to continue my career with this baggage.
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