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One of my co-workers sent me this email on my rotation. check it out
"Your Pharmacist May Hate You
The answer as to why your prescription Takes so damn long to fill....and
evidence of how drugstore workday life warps the mind.
Monday, October 16, 2006
With This Post, I Save You $19.95,
So I'm answering my fan mail today, and for this I use a gmail account.
For those of you not familiar with gmail, or the entity behind it that
will soon be ruling the planet, I'll tell you that one of it's unique
features is that alongside any e-mail message, gmail puts in text-based
ads supposedly targeted to the topic being discussed. One of these ads in
my mailbox today had a link to a site run by one Frank Buachie, who for a
mere $19.95, will sell you the e-book "A Guide To Become A Pharmacist."
not "A Guide To Becoming A Pharmacist" mind you, or "A Guide To Help You
Become A Pharmacist," but "A Guide To Become A Pharmacist" Frank says of
his e-book:
It comes with 30 days no question asked, money back guarantee.We will give
you a full refund.
So what are you waiting for, you have nothing to loose. (emphasis mine)
Somehow this man couldn't find a publisher.
When I read over this cheap attempt to take advantage of poor students who
want nothing more than a chance at a decent paying career, I was enraged,
upset beyond belief that I didn't think of this way to rip off people
first. So for no other reason than to show that I am a petty, spiteful
man, I am going to tell you, right here, right now, how to become a
pharmacist for free.
The process will start sometime around your junior year of high school:
1) If you see a class with chemistry and/or biology in the name, take it.
Try to learn something.
2) If you are in a band, any band making any kind of music, drop out, as
you will have to eliminate all right brain creative and artistic function.
This does not apply to marching bands however, as i) marching bands don't
make music, and ii) mindlessly following orders will help you immensely in
your career choice.
3) Start thinking about colleges. Forget the Ivy league, the big state
school known only for it's football team will do you just fine.
High School Senior year:
1) Take them chemistry and biology classes like you are crazy for the
science.
2) Drop your creative writing class.
3) Start asking people if they have their prescription card with them.
Practice being incredibly ****ing annoyed when they don't.
3) Visit some college campuses and look for one with a lot of white
people. Not poor white people, but preferably middle class white people
who never got the memo they're not rich.
4) If you do not graduate in the top 10% of your high school class,
immediately kill yourself, as your life is over. Or join the military.
Pre-pharmacy college years:
1) Foolishly show up on campus under the impression you are going to learn
something about drugs sometime soon. Wash away your disappointment in a
river of beer.
2) Master the process of counting by fives while waving a short metal
stick from right to left.
3) More chemistry! Remember, you are a chemistry loving fool!
4) Start negotiations with Satan over the price of your soul. He will not
offer enough to cover tuition.
5) Imagine for a few hours what it would be like to want to help people.
This will help you write the required essay when the time comes to apply
for pharmacy school.
6) Develop an intense hatred for the business major who lives across the
hall from you. The same one that knocks on your door EVERY ****ING NIGHT
TO ASK IF YOU WANT TO GO BAR HOPPING! JESUS H. CHRIST DON'T THESE ****ING
BUSINESS MAJORS EVER HAVE TO LOOK AT THE INSIDE OF A BOOK AT ANY TIME IN
THEIR COLLEGE CAREER? The experience you have with business majors during
college will set the stage for relations with your district manager or
hospital administrator throughout your working life.
Pharmacy School:
1)Congratulations! The second an actual college of pharmacy accepts your
application, you never have to worry about grades again. Simply remember
this GPA formula; 2.0=$110kyear
2) Show up for your first day of work as a pharmacy intern, feel the door
close behind you, and as the chill settles into your spine, know that all
joy is gone from your existence, forever.
3) Take a philosophy class. You need this class in order to graduate. No
one working for the University seems to know why.
4) Still more chemistry. And they still haven't taught you how to make
crystal meth.
5) Realize that gin mixed in orange juice really doesn't taste all that
bad when you have no money. Lose your virginity to that girl in
pharmaceutics lab who wears the coke bottle glasses and never talks.
6) You will have no recollection of anything that happens between
mid-April of your last year of school and the end of your college career.
Memory will fade back in as you walk across a stage wearing a gown and
suffering from the worst hangover of your life. The president of the
University will hand you a document you assume is your diploma. Upon
opening it 5 days later, you see it is actually a student loan repayment
schedule. Your first payment is already a week late.
7) Attempt to cram everything you've learned over the last 6 years into
the 3 months you have to ready yourself for the pharmacy licensure exam.
Realize you've learned nothing, rekindle the relationship with coke-bottle
chick so you can sit next to her during the test and copy her answers.
8) Find out that yes, the condom did break and coke bottle chick is
absolutely thrilled to be starting a family. Marriage certificate is
issued on the same day pharmacy license arrives in the mail, officially
documenting the end of your life.
At least now though, thanks to me you will have an extra $19.95 in your
pocket before that day comes. I recommend spending it on a bottle of
vermouth so you can quit pouring good gin in orange juice. That's just
gross."
"Your Pharmacist May Hate You
The answer as to why your prescription Takes so damn long to fill....and
evidence of how drugstore workday life warps the mind.
Monday, October 16, 2006
With This Post, I Save You $19.95,
So I'm answering my fan mail today, and for this I use a gmail account.
For those of you not familiar with gmail, or the entity behind it that
will soon be ruling the planet, I'll tell you that one of it's unique
features is that alongside any e-mail message, gmail puts in text-based
ads supposedly targeted to the topic being discussed. One of these ads in
my mailbox today had a link to a site run by one Frank Buachie, who for a
mere $19.95, will sell you the e-book "A Guide To Become A Pharmacist."
not "A Guide To Becoming A Pharmacist" mind you, or "A Guide To Help You
Become A Pharmacist," but "A Guide To Become A Pharmacist" Frank says of
his e-book:
It comes with 30 days no question asked, money back guarantee.We will give
you a full refund.
So what are you waiting for, you have nothing to loose. (emphasis mine)
Somehow this man couldn't find a publisher.
When I read over this cheap attempt to take advantage of poor students who
want nothing more than a chance at a decent paying career, I was enraged,
upset beyond belief that I didn't think of this way to rip off people
first. So for no other reason than to show that I am a petty, spiteful
man, I am going to tell you, right here, right now, how to become a
pharmacist for free.
The process will start sometime around your junior year of high school:
1) If you see a class with chemistry and/or biology in the name, take it.
Try to learn something.
2) If you are in a band, any band making any kind of music, drop out, as
you will have to eliminate all right brain creative and artistic function.
This does not apply to marching bands however, as i) marching bands don't
make music, and ii) mindlessly following orders will help you immensely in
your career choice.
3) Start thinking about colleges. Forget the Ivy league, the big state
school known only for it's football team will do you just fine.
High School Senior year:
1) Take them chemistry and biology classes like you are crazy for the
science.
2) Drop your creative writing class.
3) Start asking people if they have their prescription card with them.
Practice being incredibly ****ing annoyed when they don't.
3) Visit some college campuses and look for one with a lot of white
people. Not poor white people, but preferably middle class white people
who never got the memo they're not rich.
4) If you do not graduate in the top 10% of your high school class,
immediately kill yourself, as your life is over. Or join the military.
Pre-pharmacy college years:
1) Foolishly show up on campus under the impression you are going to learn
something about drugs sometime soon. Wash away your disappointment in a
river of beer.
2) Master the process of counting by fives while waving a short metal
stick from right to left.
3) More chemistry! Remember, you are a chemistry loving fool!
4) Start negotiations with Satan over the price of your soul. He will not
offer enough to cover tuition.
5) Imagine for a few hours what it would be like to want to help people.
This will help you write the required essay when the time comes to apply
for pharmacy school.
6) Develop an intense hatred for the business major who lives across the
hall from you. The same one that knocks on your door EVERY ****ING NIGHT
TO ASK IF YOU WANT TO GO BAR HOPPING! JESUS H. CHRIST DON'T THESE ****ING
BUSINESS MAJORS EVER HAVE TO LOOK AT THE INSIDE OF A BOOK AT ANY TIME IN
THEIR COLLEGE CAREER? The experience you have with business majors during
college will set the stage for relations with your district manager or
hospital administrator throughout your working life.
Pharmacy School:
1)Congratulations! The second an actual college of pharmacy accepts your
application, you never have to worry about grades again. Simply remember
this GPA formula; 2.0=$110kyear
2) Show up for your first day of work as a pharmacy intern, feel the door
close behind you, and as the chill settles into your spine, know that all
joy is gone from your existence, forever.
3) Take a philosophy class. You need this class in order to graduate. No
one working for the University seems to know why.
4) Still more chemistry. And they still haven't taught you how to make
crystal meth.
5) Realize that gin mixed in orange juice really doesn't taste all that
bad when you have no money. Lose your virginity to that girl in
pharmaceutics lab who wears the coke bottle glasses and never talks.
6) You will have no recollection of anything that happens between
mid-April of your last year of school and the end of your college career.
Memory will fade back in as you walk across a stage wearing a gown and
suffering from the worst hangover of your life. The president of the
University will hand you a document you assume is your diploma. Upon
opening it 5 days later, you see it is actually a student loan repayment
schedule. Your first payment is already a week late.
7) Attempt to cram everything you've learned over the last 6 years into
the 3 months you have to ready yourself for the pharmacy licensure exam.
Realize you've learned nothing, rekindle the relationship with coke-bottle
chick so you can sit next to her during the test and copy her answers.
8) Find out that yes, the condom did break and coke bottle chick is
absolutely thrilled to be starting a family. Marriage certificate is
issued on the same day pharmacy license arrives in the mail, officially
documenting the end of your life.
At least now though, thanks to me you will have an extra $19.95 in your
pocket before that day comes. I recommend spending it on a bottle of
vermouth so you can quit pouring good gin in orange juice. That's just
gross."
