Funny med school analogies

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gators21

gators21

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So we've all heard the dumb med school analogies. Drinking water through a fire hose, eating 8 pancakes a day, blah blah blah. What are some actually funny ones you've heard
My favorite:
Year 1-2: You're the poop farmer. People know you exist, but nobody really cares. Nobody wants to hang out with you because lets face it, you smell like poop. However bad you think poop farming is, you never get to try any of your delicious poopsicles, but you hold out hope that one day you will.

Year 3: You're now the guy eating the poop flavored lollipops. Yay!!!!! But wait, its poop. How did you not know that poop stinks and tastes bad? Absolutely nobody wants to talk to you, for fear of poop breath. But ohh well, you already paid for that poopsicle, might as well finish it.

Year 4: Hooray, you finished your poopsicle. It's summer so the poopsicle truck owner felt bad for you/like you and offers you a job of handing out poopsicles. At least you don't have to eat them anymore right? You still kinda smell like poop, but people don't avoid you completely. Maybe there is hope!!!.

Intern year: Nope... no hope. But you get a promotion. Poop truck driver. Fair work for pay, and no more handling poop. Just dealing with poop eaters and poop men.

Senior: You now get to leave the truck and make popcorn! MMMMM delicious popcorn that you smell and almost taste. However the owner of the popcorn machine is right next to you....not letting you eat any. Jerk. But I almost get to be that jerk....almost

Attending: Get out those lawn chairs, because you get to sit back and watch people willingly pay and eat poopsicles. On top of that you get a popcorn maker. Win Win
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gators21 said:
So we've all heard the dumb med school analogies. Drinking water through a fire hose, eating 8 pancakes a day, blah blah blah. What are some actually funny ones you've heard
My favorite:
Year 1-2: You're the poop farmer. People know you exist, but nobody really cares. Nobody wants to hang out with you because lets face it, you smell like poop. However bad you think poop farming is, you never get to try any of your delicious poopsicles, but you hold out hope that one day you will.

Year 3: You're now the guy eating the poop flavored lollipops. Yay!!!!! But wait, its poop. How did you not know that poop stinks and tastes bad? Absolutely nobody wants to talk to you, for fear of poop breath. But ohh well, you already paid for that poopsicle, might as well finish it.

Year 4: Hooray, you finished your poopsicle. It's summer so the poopsicle truck owner felt bad for you/like you and offers you a job of handing out poopsicles. At least you don't have to eat them anymore right? You still kinda smell like poop, but people don't avoid you completely. Maybe there is hope!!!.

Intern year: Nope... no hope. But you get a promotion. Poop truck driver. Fair work for pay, and no more handling poop. Just dealing with poop eaters and poop men.

Senior: You now get to leave the truck and make popcorn! MMMMM delicious popcorn that you smell and almost taste. However the owner of the popcorn machine is right next to you....not letting you eat any. Jerk. But I almost get to be that jerk....almost

Attending: Get out those lawn chairs, because you get to sit back and watch people willingly pay and eat poopsicles. On top of that you get a popcorn maker. Win Win
Click to expand...

It's 5 pancakes and I don't think any of your analogies are funny.
 
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That makes no sense.

Personally, I like the line from "Layer Cake" to describe medical training. However, I doubt you really ever get to "forget what **** even looks like" in medicine.
 
Dude OP you just used the word poop more times than I have in my whole life. I'm mildly impressed, and severely scared.
 
Ohh come on this is so chalk full of awesomeness. I wish I could claim credit for it. But alas no, I was told this by my GI attending
Its kinda funny most of the comments are from people just about to start this wonderful journey. Just remember these words later and reflect
I mean it all comes down to poo. ANALogy...poop hahahaha
If you think medicine is not poop, just wait until you get to wards. C diff will haunt your dreams
P.s Im drunk
 
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gators21 said:
So we've all heard the dumb med school analogies. Drinking water through a fire hose, eating 8 pancakes a day, blah blah blah. What are some actually funny ones you've heard
My favorite:
Year 1-2: You're the poop farmer. People know you exist, but nobody really cares. Nobody wants to hang out with you because lets face it, you smell like poop. However bad you think poop farming is, you never get to try any of your delicious poopsicles, but you hold out hope that one day you will.

Year 3: You're now the guy eating the poop flavored lollipops. Yay!!!!! But wait, its poop. How did you not know that poop stinks and tastes bad? Absolutely nobody wants to talk to you, for fear of poop breath. But ohh well, you already paid for that poopsicle, might as well finish it.

Year 4: Hooray, you finished your poopsicle. It's summer so the poopsicle truck owner felt bad for you/like you and offers you a job of handing out poopsicles. At least you don't have to eat them anymore right? You still kinda smell like poop, but people don't avoid you completely. Maybe there is hope!!!.

Intern year: Nope... no hope. But you get a promotion. Poop truck driver. Fair work for pay, and no more handling poop. Just dealing with poop eaters and poop men.

Senior: You now get to leave the truck and make popcorn! MMMMM delicious popcorn that you smell and almost taste. However the owner of the popcorn machine is right next to you....not letting you eat any. Jerk. But I almost get to be that jerk....almost

Attending: Get out those lawn chairs, because you get to sit back and watch people willingly pay and eat poopsicles. On top of that you get a popcorn maker. Win Win
Click to expand...

Also, please don't tell that to anyone you actually know. That was a really $hitty analogy.
 
Wow bunch of freakin buzz kills on tonight
Learn to not take everything so seriously. Gain a sense of humor. Throw some poop every now and then. Life is more fun if you embrace crazies as one of your own
Or maybe you all would like a couple more threads on being socially awkward or forever alone or maybe md vs do
 
I take that as a compliment good sir PL198.

I tip my cap mnhockeyfan for embracing this threads true nature
 
gators21 said:
Wow bunch of freakin buzz kills on tonight
Learn to not take everything so seriously. Gain a sense of humor. Throw some poop every now and then. Life is more fun if you embrace crazies as one of your own
Or maybe you all would like a couple more threads on being socially awkward or forever alone or maybe md vs do
Click to expand...
No, your analogy just sucked.
 
gators21 said:
Wow bunch of freakin buzz kills on tonight
Learn to not take everything so seriously. Gain a sense of humor. Throw some poop every now and then. Life is more fun if you embrace crazies as one of your own
Or maybe you all would like a couple more threads on being socially awkward or forever alone or maybe md vs do
Click to expand...
Dude, this is the WORST analogy I have ever heard, read or imagined. Like, seriously.

Edit: on a lighter note, you are a brave individual for posting and then defending your analogy
 
Ohh I've got a great one!

A wise man once told me, Your medical career is like the human body. I said "what??? huh?? what do you mean??" As you can imagine i was utterly bewildered by this statement. After this he continued to speak words that would change my life, and my medical career forever.

He Said "The Human body wants to STEP forward. Move Forward" I said " Yeah thats true" He said " Just like the human body wants to step forwards you will have to take the STEPS, one and two." - Amazing. Then he said " In order for the human body to work you need to have parts that work, and just like your medical career it will never move forward until you have parts, or subjects that you know. For instance imagine Physiology as being your lungs, now without the lungs as a whole the human body will not function. And without physiology your medical career will not move forward".

I said "wow that is true, without physiology medicine would be impossible, just like it would be to live"

He said " Now imagine pathology/pathophysiology as your liver. Without the liver you would not be able to live and without pathology/pathophysiology you would not be able to take STEPS (steps one and two) In your medical career."

I said "Thats very true"

He said "Now imagine the lungs got an infection. Imagine the infection as the tests you take. How do you fight off the infection? With your immune system and antibiotics!!, And the immune system and antibiotics are your STUDY HABITS, you Want to STUDY HARD so you can fight off the infection! And over come the infection to take your steps!" (I'm guessing he meant one and two)
Then he said "Sometimes you have a little infection (small tests) where you might not need a lot of antibiotics or a strong immune system. Which means you don't have to study as hard. But other times you get big bad infections. Where you need a very strong immune system and strong antibiotics (you want to study harder!)!. You don't want to end up in sepsis!."
 
Priapism4tooLong said:
Ohh I've got a great one!

A wise man once told me, Your medical career is like the human body. I said "what??? huh?? what do you mean??" As you can imagine i was utterly bewildered by this statement. After this he continued to speak words that would change my life, and my medical career forever.

He Said "The Human body wants to STEP forward. Move Forward" I said " Yeah thats true" He said " Just like the human body wants to step forwards you will have to take the STEPS, one and two." - Amazing. Then he said " In order for the human body to work you need to have parts that work, and just like your medical career it will never move forward until you have parts, or subjects that you know. For instance imagine Physiology as being your lungs, now without the lungs as a whole the human body will not function. And without physiology your medical career will not move forward".

I said "wow that is true, without physiology medicine would be impossible, just like it would be to live"

He said " Now imagine pathology/pathophysiology as your liver. Without the liver you would not be able to live and without pathology/pathophysiology you would not be able to take STEPS (steps one and two) In your medical career."

I said "Thats very true"

He said "Now imagine the lungs got an infection. Imagine the infection as the tests you take. How do you fight off the infection? With your immune system and antibiotics!!, And the immune system and antibiotics are your STUDY HABITS, you Want to STUDY HARD so you can fight off the infection! And over come the infection to take your steps!" (I'm guessing he meant one and two)
Then he said "Sometimes you have a little infection (small tests) where you might not need a lot of antibiotics or a strong immune system. Which means you don't have to study as hard. But other times you get big bad infections. Where you need a very strong immune system and strong antibiotics (you want to study harder!)!. You don't want to end up in sepsis!."
Click to expand...
Ok, seriously. Stop telling this story again and again.
 
DermViser said:
Ok, seriously. Stop telling this story again and again.
Click to expand...

I think the majority of people like it and connect with it. I get a lot of good feedback. I guess it kind of puts life and medical education in perspective. It shows you what's important.
 
gators21 said:
Or maybe you all would like a couple more threads on being socially awkward or forever alone or maybe md vs do
Click to expand...

I'm glad you brought this up.

Some people think DO's are poop. But in reality, MD's are poop. When you're a DO student, you realize DO = MD + poop. And MD > poopsicles > DO. Sometimes, you think that a wheelbarrow of poop is the sun. But then you realize MD > poopsun.

Pretty good, right?
 
F*ck, reading all that gave me cancer.

gators21 said:
Wow bunch of freakin buzz kills on tonight
Learn to not take everything so seriously. Gain a sense of humor. Throw some poop every now and then. Life is more fun if you embrace crazies as one of your own
Or maybe you all would like a couple more threads on being socially awkward or forever alone or maybe md vs do
Click to expand...

Your analogy/story was truly terrible. Like, walking-in-on-your-mom-using-her-dildo cringeworthy.

Time to abandon this user account, gators21, and start fresh.
 
gators21 said:
So we've all heard the dumb med school analogies. Drinking water through a fire hose, eating 8 pancakes a day, blah blah blah. What are some actually funny ones you've heard
My favorite:
Year 1-2: You're the poop farmer. People know you exist, but nobody really cares. Nobody wants to hang out with you because lets face it, you smell like poop. However bad you think poop farming is, you never get to try any of your delicious poopsicles, but you hold out hope that one day you will.

Year 3: You're now the guy eating the poop flavored lollipops. Yay!!!!! But wait, its poop. How did you not know that poop stinks and tastes bad? Absolutely nobody wants to talk to you, for fear of poop breath. But ohh well, you already paid for that poopsicle, might as well finish it.

Year 4: Hooray, you finished your poopsicle. It's summer so the poopsicle truck owner felt bad for you/like you and offers you a job of handing out poopsicles. At least you don't have to eat them anymore right? You still kinda smell like poop, but people don't avoid you completely. Maybe there is hope!!!.

Intern year: Nope... no hope. But you get a promotion. Poop truck driver. Fair work for pay, and no more handling poop. Just dealing with poop eaters and poop men.

Senior: You now get to leave the truck and make popcorn! MMMMM delicious popcorn that you smell and almost taste. However the owner of the popcorn machine is right next to you....not letting you eat any. Jerk. But I almost get to be that jerk....almost

Attending: Get out those lawn chairs, because you get to sit back and watch people willingly pay and eat poopsicles. On top of that you get a popcorn maker. Win Win
Click to expand...

I want to ****ing throw up
 
Medical school is like the intestines. Medical students are diverse, and come from a vast array of different backgrounds and lives. However, in the end, they all leave the same way.
 
I think you might have read the poop hotdog thread so many times it warped your mind. Time to pony up for a paid account so you can delete this thread.
 
We have a tremendously fierce competition going on here right now....it's the battle for the worse medical analogy between priapism4toolong and gators21.
Place your bets ladies and gentlemen...

EDIT: this is my SDN post #1000
 
Last edited:
tarheel1408 said:
Medical school is like the intestines. Medical students are diverse, and come from a vast array of different backgrounds and lives. However, in the end, they all leave the same way.
Click to expand...
With a **** eating grin and being full of ****?
 
kirbymiester said:
I'm glad you brought this up.

Some people think DO's are poop. But in reality, MD's are poop. When you're a DO student, you realize DO = MD + poop. And MD > poopsicles > DO. Sometimes, you think that a wheelbarrow of poop is the sun. But then you realize MD > poopsun.

Pretty good, right?
Click to expand...
Fantastic. You sir, understand medicine well
TXKnight said:
We have a tremendously fierce competition going on here right now....it's the battle for the worse medical analogy between priapism4toolong and gators21.
Place your bets ladies and gentlemen...
Click to expand...
Ohh I'm sorry, I'll change it for all you pre-meds that seems to know everything about med school already.
Year 1-2: Free hugs for all
Year 3-4: Happiness rainbows
Residency: Lasers and hand grenades
Attending: Chicks, money, power, chicks.
Sound more realistic?
 
I'd say its more like
Year 1-2: You suck
Year 3-4: You still suck, but you're slightly proven
Residency: You're ok, go back to work though
Attending: ZOMG GIVE ME YOUR AUTOGRAPH
 
The only thing that sucks more than getting up early for Surgery during third year is the quality of the analogy made by the OP.

OP, few people are arguing that medical school is a trying time, and that at various stages you have various challenges and responsibilities.

But I think everyone here can agree that you are not good at clever analogies, and that your original post is immensely cringe-inducing.
 
gators21 said:
Ohh I'm sorry, I'll change it for all you pre-meds that seems to know everything about med school already.
Year 1-2: Free hugs for all
Year 3-4: Happiness rainbows
Residency: Lasers and hand grenades
Attending: Chicks, money, power, chicks.
Sound more realistic?
Click to expand...

I got so many hugs during 1st and 2nd year that I had to peel people off me with a crowbar. I'm so over it.

Looking forward to the happiness rainbows.
 
GuyWhoDoesStuff said:
The only thing that sucks more than getting up early for Surgery during third year is the quality of the analogy made by the OP.

OP, few people are arguing that medical school is a trying time, and that at various stages you have various challenges and responsibilities.

But I think everyone here can agree that you are not good at clever analogies, and that your original post is immensely cringe-inducing.
Click to expand...
Why because I used poopsicle? Would you have preferred turd sandwich? Because thats just racist
 
Strong avatar to post content ratio.
PeterGriffin-Special.jpg
 
Last edited:
Like I said, I didn't come up with (most) of it. But you bet your sweet cheeks I laughed my ass off. This gem goes out to my GI attending. The other student on our service didn't find it funny either and now this thread has got me thinking about types of med students. Yes boys and girls, not just a one dimensional thread. Spoiler, it will contain more poop. It might also contain the most useful advice to all incoming med students

Poop Elitest. These are the ones that constantly think they are somehow superior to everyone. The very term poop offends them and how dare you use it in front of them. These are also the ones on rotations that will avoid doing any work that they feel is underserving of their genius. They tend to want to be neurodermatorocket scientist and consider everything else to be a failure. Attending and residents hate them.

Poop corrector: These aholes are the ones that will raise their hand and correct your professor that the correct term is feces. These people are usually good for a good facepalm every now and then, but are generally avoided. Then create threads on SDN about why nobody likes them. Buzzkills and gunners.

Poop throwers: These are your daredevil poopers. The ones that cram at the last minute. They fly by the seat of their pants. Maybe they fail the test, but they will watch that flying poop with awe and wonder. Usually fun to be around, but don't last too long. Talk to them or not, your choice. Just don't be surprised if a poop comes flying at you one day.

Poop chuckler: These people are awesome. Don't take like too seriously. Can see the humor in any situation. Fun to be around on wards. Can get along with anyone. Who cares if they aren't top of the class, its just fun to say poop

Shy poopers: you never see them. They creep in, do their business, and leave. Neither hated, but not really liked because nobody knows them.


Now for the advice for all the premeds: Say poop to everyone you meet at orientation. See if they get a twinkle in their eye and a slight upturn of the lip. Maybe a quick shoulder shrug. These people will keep you sane, unless you are a poop elitest. Then you can go poop yourself
 
gators21 said:
Like I said, I didn't come up with (most) of it. But you bet your sweet cheeks I laughed my ass off. This gem goes out to my GI attending. The other student on our service didn't find it funny either and now this thread has got me thinking about types of med students. Yes boys and girls, not just a one dimensional thread. Spoiler, it will contain more poop. It might also contain the most useful advice to all incoming med students

Poop Elitest. These are the ones that constantly think they are somehow superior to everyone. The very term poop offends them and how dare you use it in front of them. These are also the ones on rotations that will avoid doing any work that they feel is underserving of their genius. They tend to want to be neurodermatorocket scientist and consider everything else to be a failure. Attending and residents hate them.

Poop corrector: These aholes are the ones that will raise their hand and correct your professor that the correct term is feces. These people are usually good for a good facepalm every now and then, but are generally avoided. Then create threads on SDN about why nobody likes them. Buzzkills and gunners.

Poop throwers: These are your daredevil poopers. The ones that cram at the last minute. They fly by the seat of their pants. Maybe they fail the test, but they will watch that flying poop with awe and wonder. Usually fun to be around, but don't last too long. Talk to them or not, your choice. Just don't be surprised if a poop comes flying at you one day.

Poop chuckler: These people are awesome. Don't take like too seriously. Can see the humor in any situation. Fun to be around on wards. Can get along with anyone. Who cares if they aren't top of the class, its just fun to say poop

Shy poopers: you never see them. They creep in, do their business, and leave. Neither hated, but not really liked because nobody knows them.


Now for the advice for all the premeds: Say poop to everyone you meet at orientation. See if they get a twinkle in their eye and a slight upturn of the lip. Maybe a quick shoulder shrug. These people will keep you sane, unless you are a poop elitest. Then you can go poop yourself
Click to expand...

This thread is so f*cking sh*tty.
 
gators21 said:
So we've all heard the dumb med school analogies. Drinking water through a fire hose, eating 8 pancakes a day, blah blah blah. What are some actually funny ones you've heard
My favorite:
Year 1-2: You're the poop farmer. People know you exist, but nobody really cares. Nobody wants to hang out with you because lets face it, you smell like poop. However bad you think poop farming is, you never get to try any of your delicious poopsicles, but you hold out hope that one day you will.

Year 3: You're now the guy eating the poop flavored lollipops. Yay!!!!! But wait, its poop. How did you not know that poop stinks and tastes bad? Absolutely nobody wants to talk to you, for fear of poop breath. But ohh well, you already paid for that poopsicle, might as well finish it.

Year 4: Hooray, you finished your poopsicle. It's summer so the poopsicle truck owner felt bad for you/like you and offers you a job of handing out poopsicles. At least you don't have to eat them anymore right? You still kinda smell like poop, but people don't avoid you completely. Maybe there is hope!!!.

Intern year: Nope... no hope. But you get a promotion. Poop truck driver. Fair work for pay, and no more handling poop. Just dealing with poop eaters and poop men.

Senior: You now get to leave the truck and make popcorn! MMMMM delicious popcorn that you smell and almost taste. However the owner of the popcorn machine is right next to you....not letting you eat any. Jerk. But I almost get to be that jerk....almost

Attending: Get out those lawn chairs, because you get to sit back and watch people willingly pay and eat poopsicles. On top of that you get a popcorn maker. Win Win
Click to expand...

I will be honest I was laughing my ass off at this no pun intended. Just got accepted into MSTP so does that mean ill be eating poo and pee? hehe. Well anyway Im glad there is still immature humor in medicine. Its horrid to joke like that w/ patients but I would be quite sad if you can't even enjoy scat humor w/ your colleagues.
 
gators21 said:
Like I said, I didn't come up with (most) of it. But you bet your sweet cheeks I laughed my ass off. This gem goes out to my GI attending. The other student on our service didn't find it funny either and now this thread has got me thinking about types of med students. Yes boys and girls, not just a one dimensional thread. Spoiler, it will contain more poop. It might also contain the most useful advice to all incoming med students

Poop Elitest. These are the ones that constantly think they are somehow superior to everyone. The very term poop offends them and how dare you use it in front of them. These are also the ones on rotations that will avoid doing any work that they feel is underserving of their genius. They tend to want to be neurodermatorocket scientist and consider everything else to be a failure. Attending and residents hate them.

Poop corrector: These aholes are the ones that will raise their hand and correct your professor that the correct term is feces. These people are usually good for a good facepalm every now and then, but are generally avoided. Then create threads on SDN about why nobody likes them. Buzzkills and gunners.

Poop throwers: These are your daredevil poopers. The ones that cram at the last minute. They fly by the seat of their pants. Maybe they fail the test, but they will watch that flying poop with awe and wonder. Usually fun to be around, but don't last too long. Talk to them or not, your choice. Just don't be surprised if a poop comes flying at you one day.

Poop chuckler: These people are awesome. Don't take like too seriously. Can see the humor in any situation. Fun to be around on wards. Can get along with anyone. Who cares if they aren't top of the class, its just fun to say poop

Shy poopers: you never see them. They creep in, do their business, and leave. Neither hated, but not really liked because nobody knows them.

Now for the advice for all the premeds: Say poop to everyone you meet at orientation. See if they get a twinkle in their eye and a slight upturn of the lip. Maybe a quick shoulder shrug. These people will keep you sane, unless you are a poop elitest. Then you can go poop yourself
Click to expand...

Omg you are the best! This took so much thought. How do I like this more??!!?
 
unexpected_medicine said:
I will be honest I was laughing my ass off at this no pun intended. Just got accepted into MSTP so does that mean ill be eating poo and pee? hehe. Well anyway Im glad there is still immature humor in medicine. Its horrid to joke like that w/ patients but I would be quite sad if you can't even enjoy scat humor w/ your colleagues.
Click to expand...

Timing of account creation is suspicious.
 
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