Gap year depression (aka purgatory)

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RedSox143

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Anyone else just really miss college and the freedom they had, now I'm super poor , live at home sharing a room, don't go out, can barely drink as much and feel 1000x more stressed, yeah yeah definitely did well enough in college and stuff but I partied a lot too I know that doesn't carry to medschool and I actually like that but it sucks to be in the middle looking in and not have that dedicated path yet. Anyone else got feels from purgatory ?
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Gap year sucks, but all the docs I work with say to enjoy it and wish they'd done it. Hard advice to take though.
 
Gap year sucks, but you can make it suck less.

Try to see the time not as purgatory, but take advantage of the time to do things you won't be able to do in med school and beyond. You will never have as much free time as you do now. Like, ever. Until you retire. You will have more free time this year than any of the next 40 years.
Don't waste it. Read literature, drink manhattans (but only with rye, **** bourbon), see some shows, start smoking cigars, knit cat sweaters, frequent brothels, upgrade your driver's license to an enhanced one for expedited border passage, eat red meat, shoplift the APC x Kanye release of ugly pants, idk
 
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Unfortunately I have to retake MCAT cuz I did subpar on PS, great on the others so that's putting a damper on my freedom as well as my lab doesn't have enough funding to cover my salary anymore so finding a new job in the hospital sucks too , hey real life man at least I can watch football without homework hanging over my head, is it sad I miss that? Oh well I couldn't have financed medschool without a gap year to get some cash anyway
 
I hear you, man. I'm in the exact same position, except I'm in gap year two of two. It's rough, but just know that in less than a year's time, you'll have that freedom back, albeit with the stress of medical school.
 
I know the feeling, but you should use this time to develop your hobbies and explore new interests without the pressures of school/career looming over you. This can be a really great year for you if you make a conscious effort to be happy and use your time wisely. Trust me, a year is not a long time. Before you know it, you'll be studying hard night and day in med school looking back fondly on these memories. Plus, if ever there was a better time to get in shape and cut back on drinking (so you can be a cheap drunk once you're in med school,) it's now!
 
Are you not working?

I'm on year 4 of my 'gap year' and had one really rough year in the middle there which was awful. The rest have been pretty great.
 
ridethecliche said:
Are you not working?

I'm on year 4 of my 'gap year' and had one really rough year in the middle there which was awful. The rest have been pretty great.
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I am working but my lab has lost a lot of funding and can only afford to keep one of us on paid, obvs they'd keep the phd so I'm **** out of luck been here for 4 years
 
I don't know about ya'll but I love my gap year so far. I've traveled through the eastern cities (never been up here before), I've visited with old friends, started work in Boston. You just gotta find stuff that fills your time and keeps you interested and active. I'd actually wager that I'm drinking more now, although that's less from partying and more from wanting to try every bar and brewery I can find haha

edit: plus after 4 years of engineering ug, I actually have, you know, free time and am able to work out and such.
 
I wish I lived far away so I'd have an excuse to move here for work, it's about the freedom dude
 
You'll feel better once you get a job. That'll give you structure and a few bucks. It'll also mean some lack of freedom, but maybe that part doesn't matter as much.

When are you retaking the MCAT? Think of that as homework.
 
RedSox143 said:
I am working but my lab has lost a lot of funding and can only afford to keep one of us on paid, obvs they'd keep the phd so I'm **** out of luck been here for 4 years
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They're not even giving you a stipend? Can you cut down hours at all so you can work part-time somewhere else? Even bussing tables or waiting a few nights a week helps a lot.

I was unemployed for a full year after I had surgery that didn't work and had to give up an international job. It sucked. I was miserable and I was broke. I know it can suck, but hang in there. You have stuff going on, try to see if you can do something part time. It helps a lot!
 
I work on campus at my UG and I definitely had some blues when classes started up a couple weeks ago. However, those blues quickly went away once I heard everyone complaining about all the meaningless crap they have to do for school. Also, on the bright side, my job is real chill, I make money, and I go out a lot more than I did when I was in school.
 
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Omppu27 said:
I work on campus at my UG and I definitely had some blues when classes started up a couple weeks ago. However, those blues quickly went away once I heard everyone complaining about all the meaningless crap they have to do for school. Also, on the bright side, my job is real chill, I make money, and I go out a lot more than I did when I was in school.
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I like the idea of working at a college again, what do you do? I live in the neighborhood of Tufts so maybe they have open positions
 
ridethecliche said:
They're not even giving you a stipend? Can you cut down hours at all so you can work part-time somewhere else? Even bussing tables or waiting a few nights a week helps a lot.

I was unemployed for a full year after I had surgery that didn't work and had to give up an international job. It sucked. I was miserable and I was broke. I know it can suck, but hang in there. You have stuff going on, try to see if you can do something part time. It helps a lot!
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I did cut down on hours but They always end up making me stay and I feel bad
 
Yeah, I miss seeing all my friends from undergrad (especially because some of them had taken a year or so off so now they're all back on campus)

Like someone else said, just focus on your hobbies .. or look up meetups? Volunteer, etc .. get outside! (Or stay inside if your hobbies are about that, like reading)
 
RedSox143 said:
I like the idea of working at a college again, what do you do? I live in the neighborhood of Tufts so maybe they have open positions
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I'm a research assistant in the lab I volunteered at while I was in school. I've had other friends pick up positions they weren't in before though, so you might be able to find something!
 
ridethecliche said:
Haha, I live down the street from you.
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Cheers it's a great spot but it'd be better if I had my own place haha so many of my friends moved here after college and I see none of them def gonna take some getting used to
 
RedSox143 said:
Cheers it's a great spot but it'd be better if I had my own place haha so many of my friends moved here after college and I see none of them def gonna take some getting used to
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Why don't you see them?

If you aren't paid by research you should get a part time job in Davis. All your PI to define your responsibilities and hours. You're not even getting a stipend, free labour means you should have the option of doing other things! If they want your tine to stay the same then they should pay for it.

There are also plenty of labs that are hiring Boston. Both in academic research and in pharma. Start applying!
 
ridethecliche said:
Why don't you see them?

If you aren't paid by research you should get a part time job in Davis. All your PI to define your responsibilities and hours. You're not even getting a stipend, free labour means you should have the option of doing other things! If they want your tine to stay the same then they should pay for it.

There are also plenty of labs that are hiring Boston. Both in academic research and in pharma. Start applying!
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Idk I thought I would they're busy I guess but yeah I have I'm at MGH now and trying to get another job there but who knows how long it'll take got 13 apps right how I would have prepared a job earlier if I knew my lab could only pay me through September,

I'm on the verge of going down to Davis and applying random places, always wanted to work at redbones haha
 
ridethecliche said:
Why don't you see them?

If you aren't paid by research you should get a part time job in Davis. All your PI to define your responsibilities and hours. You're not even getting a stipend, free labour means you should have the option of doing other things! If they want your tine to stay the same then they should pay for it.

There are also plenty of labs that are hiring Boston. Both in academic research and in pharma. Start applying!
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I'm doing a masters at uc Davis and writing a paper for 2 profs. I get nothing but a hard time. Masters is in pharmacology, btw... They weren't happy with me this summer because I was writing 45 secondary essays and only working 20 hours per week for no credit hours or money. Life is pain
 
LAtoDavis said:
I'm doing a masters at uc Davis and writing a paper for 2 profs. I get nothing but a hard time. Masters is in pharmacology, btw... They weren't happy with me this summer because I was writing 45 secondary essays and only working 20 hours per week for no credit hours or money. Life is pain
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Not the same. You're doing this as part of your master's degree while the OP is not. Or do you mean that it wasn't for your degree because it wasn't for any credit?
 
Here is a challenge for you that will be rewarding, make some $, and stimulating over your gap year. ---Take the year to develop a business that can make you a passive side income while in medical school.
 
ridethecliche said:
Not the same. You're doing this as part of your master's degree while the OP is not. Or do you mean that it wasn't for your degree because it wasn't for any credit?
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Interpret it how you want. I was trying to give the op perspective.
 
LAtoDavis said:
Interpret it how you want. I was trying to give the op perspective.
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There's a big difference between being a student and doing research within your department or an associated one and being unpaid vs. having graduated and doing research but being unpaid. In the latter case, sure, you could call it an internship, but if it was a paid position where funding was taken away then that's very different.

The OP is doing research at the MGH. They're not really hurting for funding.
 
ridethecliche said:
There's a big difference between being a student and doing research within your department or an associated one and being unpaid vs. having graduated and doing research but being unpaid. In the latter case, sure, you could call it an internship, but if it was a paid position where funding was taken away then that's very different.

The OP is doing research at the MGH. They're not really hurting for funding.
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You interpreted how you wanted to, I see.
 
DermViser said:
I'm more laughing at the gap year being "purgatory". It's not. Shows a complete lack of perspective.
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Yeah, I've been enjoying my time off a ton. Then again the guy I replied to was talking about buying a 3k+ suit for interviews so he's probably not hurting for money the same way the OP seems to be.
 
ridethecliche said:
Yeah, I've been enjoying my time off a ton. Then again the guy I replied to was talking about buying a 3k+ suit for interviews so he's probably not hurting for money the same way the OP seems to be.
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The expenses only go up for medicine from here on out. There's a reason a sizable majority of med students are upper-middle to ridiculously affluent.
 
DermViser said:
The expenses only go up for medicine from here on out. There's a reason a sizable majority of med students are upper-middle to ridiculously affluent.
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Exactly I'm not poor but if I was rich like some of my friends id have my parents paying for an apt when all I have is an entry level job instead I went from on scholarship single room to back sharing a room with my brother next to the subway abutting my dad's office where he shreds papers at 5am and work 40hours a week for 3$ an hour so yeah I'm not really enjoying myself
 
RedSox143 said:
Anyone else just really miss college and the freedom they had, now I'm super poor , live at home sharing a room, don't go out, can barely drink as much and feel 1000x more stressed, yeah yeah definitely did well enough in college and stuff but I partied a lot too I know that doesn't carry to medschool and I actually like that but it sucks to be in the middle looking in and not have that dedicated path yet. Anyone else got feels from purgatory ?
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Super poor now that you're out of college.......?
 
RedSox143 said:
Exactly I'm not poor but if I was rich like some of my friends id have my parents paying for an apt when all I have is an entry level job instead I went from on scholarship single room to back sharing a room with my brother next to the subway abutting my dad's office where he shreds papers at 5am and work 40hours a week for 3$ an hour so yeah I'm not really enjoying myself
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I don't know about the education level of your father, but yes, we all wish we could be rich (and in med school there will be many people who are with both parents being physicians). I do think income inequality is a huge problem in this country. This isn't the 60s/70s where you could get a relatively good job based on hard work and a college education. Millenials do have it worse now - in terms of employment and jobs available. That being said - a gap year is not "purgatory".

RedSox143 said:
If I'm a med student at least I have purpose direction and future
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Yes a direction and future with YEARS of delayed gratification. Your life doesn't suddenly become happy bc you're a med student. Your life doesn't suddenly become happy bc of an acceptance letter.
 
Mad Jack said:
Get a job kid.
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That was my point. Not sure why OP doesn't apply to find part time work. Work a weekend night and a work night or two at a bar or restaurant or whatever. There are legitimately 50 of them down the street from him.

If your PI wants you to work full time, they should pay you to be there. If they freak about you having other commitments then they're pretty ridiculous.

DermViser said:
The expenses only go up for medicine from here on out. There's a reason a sizable majority of med students are upper-middle to ridiculously affluent.
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I don't doubt it.

I'm trying to save as much money as is possible, but then I'm like why don't I just blow it all. I'm richer right now than I'll be for the next decade if I get in this cycle...
 
ridethecliche said:
That was my point. Not sure why OP doesn't apply to find part time work. Work a weekend night and a work night or two at a bar or restaurant or whatever. There are legitimately 50 of them down the street from him.

If your PI wants you to work full time, they should pay you to be there. If they freak about you having other commitments then they're pretty ridiculous.



I don't doubt it.

I'm trying to save as much money as is possible, but then I'm like why don't I just blow it all. I'm richer right now than I'll be for the next decade if I get in this cycle...
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I have 1 month left of pay so I'm currently finding a job for when that ends. Obvs I'm gonna try to get a medically related or research job since I've worked for 4 years in research and have publications etc, but I'm funding out how useless a BS is for research and I have no problem with working over at Davis Porter or even assembly but why not try getting these jobs before I get hired there just to quit
 
ridethecliche said:
Yeah, I've been enjoying my time off a ton. Then again the guy I replied to was talking about buying a 3k+ suit for interviews so he's probably not hurting for money the same way the OP seems to be.
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Assumptions about people's personal lives and incessant complaining won't get you far in life.
 
LAtoDavis said:
Assumptions about people's personal lives and incessant complaining won't get you far in life.
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I actually like complaining not gonna sugarcoat it , BUT that's why I go on a forum like this, to complain and get perspective, i rarely complain verbally I'm pretty shy but there has to be some use in complaining
 
LAtoDavis said:
Assumptions about people's personal lives and incessant complaining won't get you far in life.
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Not sure what part of that was directed at me, but you already gave me the permission to interpret things how I wanted. This is not personal for me because I don't know you and I know I come off pretty harshly on the interwebs sometime without meaning to, but with all of that said.

Someone that spends that much money on a suit is clearly not worried about paying rent for the next month and the way you wrote that original statement made it sound like it was your money. I have absolutely no problem with people buying nice things, but it's in context.

On the other hand, it really pisses me off when people use terms like depressed and poor lightly. I am lucky that I've never really dealt with depression, but I've definitely dabbled with being broke and I'm on FAP now. I also have little patience for people being useless and whining when they're more than smart enough to see the real solution but want to be content complaining. Complaining is fine, but act on that stuff once you've somewhat sorted it out.

Again, I don't know you guys or have any problem with either you or the OP. S'all I got.
 
ridethecliche said:
Not sure what part of that was directed at me, but you already gave me the permission to interpret things how I wanted. This is not personal for me because I don't know you and I know I come off pretty harshly on the interwebs sometime without meaning to, but with all of that said.

Someone that spends that much money on a suit is clearly not worried about paying rent for the next month and the way you wrote that original statement made it sound like it was your money. I have absolutely no problem with people buying nice things, but it's in context.

On the other hand, it really pisses me off when people use terms like depressed and poor lightly. I am lucky that I've never really dealt with depression, but I've definitely dabbled with being broke and I'm on FAP now. I also have little patience for people being useless and whining when they're more than smart enough to see the real solution but want to be content complaining. Complaining is fine, but act on that stuff once you've somewhat sorted it out.

Again, I don't know you guys or have any problem with either you or the OP. S'all I got.
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I understand where both posters are coming from, both help and make sense. It sucks working for nothing but bottom line is tho the lab is struggling with funding it is run by some very big influential people at MGH and Harvard and I'm in the middle of a project that I started and stand to have published, I don't want to turn my back on it so quickly BUT I make nothing so stress comes from all around me especially my parents, I have until September to finish, then I can get a new job but it's easy to struggle with motivation when your incentive is low, I work 40-50 hours making 2/3$ an hour but I'm dedicated and commited, good training for medicine I suppose.

However the pressure is getting to mefrom all around, and I wouldn't mind this lifestyle if there was a degree I was working towards but. My MCAT is shaky(not bad) and I need to retake so it seems the means to an end is getting less attainable
 
ridethecliche said:
Not sure what part of that was directed at me, but you already gave me the permission to interpret things how I wanted. This is not personal for me because I don't know you and I know I come off pretty harshly on the interwebs sometime without meaning to, but with all of that said.

Someone that spends that much money on a suit is clearly not worried about paying rent for the next month and the way you wrote that original statement made it sound like it was your money. I have absolutely no problem with people buying nice things, but it's in context.

On the other hand, it really pisses me off when people use terms like depressed and poor lightly. I am lucky that I've never really dealt with depression, but I've definitely dabbled with being broke and I'm on FAP now. I also have little patience for people being useless and whining when they're more than smart enough to see the real solution but want to be content complaining. Complaining is fine, but act on that stuff once you've somewhat sorted it out.

Again, I don't know you guys or have any problem with either you or the OP. S'all I got.
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Thanks for that SDN broment, there. I gave you a hard time because you never let my expensive suit purchase decision go unnoticed. I know it's an expensive suit, that's why I bought it. And yes, I'm as poor as a mcdonalds wrapper in the backseat of a minivan.

Anyhow, you make good points. I'll complain, too... I feel like a gimp doing research most of the time. My PI's don't appreciate me, and even if I am getting a degree, it seems like I'm being used. I've thought about leaving my MS program on good terms, too. I wouldn't have to deal with tuition, fees, and another 20 grand in loans for living expenses. No one I've talked to cares that I'll have an MS.
 
LAtoDavis said:
Thanks for that SDN broment, there. I gave you a hard time because you never let my expensive suit purchase decision go unnoticed. I know it's an expensive suit, that's why I bought it. And yes, I'm as poor as a mcdonalds wrapper in the backseat of a minivan.

Anyhow, you make good points. I'll complain, too... I feel like a gimp doing research most of the time. My PI's don't appreciate me, and even if I am getting a degree, it seems like I'm being used. I've thought about leaving my MS program on good terms, too. I wouldn't have to deal with tuition, fees, and another 20 grand in loans for living expenses. No one I've talked to cares that I'll have an MS.
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+1 on everything you said in the second paragraph !!! an MS is great tho cuz you'll be able to actually get a job , getting treated like crap sucks tho especially when you do put your heart and soul into your work. It sucks when your proud of something and someone shows up and says ..so?

I guess we need to learn some more self confidence, I definitely struggle with it idk but yeah what's the internet for being honest and positive constantly? Oh please complaining makes the world go round, if I knew I was going to get in and had no problems I wouldn't be on this forum
 
Your use of purgatory made me chuckle! :happy: I'm in year 1 of my 2 year gap now and yeah I'm always anxious not knowing exactly what my future holds. However I'm taking post-bacc classes and studying for my MCAT so I'm not bored. Maybe you can have some fun doing weekend trips ("staycations") nearby or pick up a new hobby like others have suggested. Use this time to focus on yourself before you're in med school.
 
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