Gay pediatricians

[Chulito]

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I'm about to be an MS1 and thinking a lot about residency. Pediatrics is one of the two specialties that particularly appeal to me, especially pediatric hospitalism, though primary care is also in the running. But, I'm gay.

I've never had any problems whatsoever as a gay man in any professional setting, and before joining SDN I had never thought that it would be an issue in any professional medical context. I still don't think that it would be in any specialty other than peds, but many, many posts by many, many people in many, many threads have led me to believe that it might be an issue when working with people's children. Here's a thread that offers a particularly concentrated sample of SDN opinions.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=372370

According to the poll results, one out of four future doctors wouldn't send their children to a gay, male pediatrician. What are the implied ramifications of this? I guess I'm not so worried about people who choose to go elsewhere right from the start, but what about those who might unwittingly come to me and then find themselves shocked or angered or incensed or worried (or litigious)? I'm certainly not flamboyant or showy, but most people recognize immediately that I'm gay, so it wouldn't be enough to simply not allude to it and let parents assume that I'm straight--most wouldn't. Parents need to be comfortable with their children's doctor, and though I can assure you that they have absolutely no reason not to be comfortable with me, I wonder if many would not be. Should it matter to me? Can I count on winning them over with friendly charm and competence?

What do you guys think of this? Is it the non-existent problem that I once thought it was? Is it an easily surmountable problem? What if I talk a lot about basketball with the fathers? Does anyone have any relevant insights, either from personal experiences or from second-hand anecdotes?

 

[TexasRose]

I'm about to be an MS1 and thinking a lot about residency. Pediatrics is one of the two specialties that particularly appeal to me, especially pediatric hospitalism, though primary care is also in the running. But, I'm gay.

I've never had any problems whatsoever as a gay man in any professional setting, and before joining SDN I had never thought that it would be an issue in any professional medical context. I still don't think that it would be in any specialty other than peds, but many, many posts by many, many people in many, many threads have led me to believe that it might be an issue when working with people's children. Here's a thread that offers a particularly concentrated sample of SDN opinions.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=372370

According to the poll results, one out of four future doctors wouldn't send their children to a gay, male pediatrician. What are the implied ramifications of this? I guess I'm not so worried about people who choose to go elsewhere right from the start, but what about those who might unwittingly come to me and then find themselves shocked or angered or incensed or worried (or litigious)? I'm certainly not flamboyant or showy, but most people recognize immediately that I'm gay, so it wouldn't be enough to simply not allude to it and let parents assume that I'm straight--most wouldn't. Parents need to be comfortable with their children's doctor, and though I can assure you that they have absolutely no reason not to be comfortable with me, I wonder if many would not be. Should it matter to me? Can I count on winning them over with friendly charm and competence?

What do you guys think of this? Is it the non-existent problem that I once thought it was? Is it an easily surmountable problem? What if I talk a lot about basketball with the fathers? Does anyone have any relevant insights, either from personal experiences or from second-hand anecdotes?

From a personal point of view, I have 3 kids and I couldn't care less what the sexual orientation of their pediatrician happens to be. I want a good doctor who can talk to me and my children, make good clinical decisions and help us navigate any health issues that may come up.

I would be very, very wary of placing any importance on what gets said on sdn. While there are some fantastic people on this board, there are also a lot of immature and troll-like individuals here as well. Everything read on here must be taken with a grain of salt. (but I'm sure you already know this.)

I have worked with more than one gay man in our children's hospital. I have never seen it made into any kind of issue. I suppose you run the same risks that every non-native English speaker runs ("I want a doctor that talks English), every woman runs ("I want a real doctor, not a nurse!"), every young doctor runs ("Aren't you too young to be a real doctor?"). I think you see my point.

Follow the career path that will be the most rewarding to you, the patients will follow. Besides, there are plenty of gay parents and young people who would welcome the opportunity to speak to a pediatrician who understood their circumstances just a little bit better.

 

[oldbearprofessor]

I'm about to be an MS1 and thinking a lot about residency. Pediatrics is one of the two specialties that particularly appeal to me, especially pediatric hospitalism, though primary care is also in the running. But, I'm gay.

Thanks for reposting that here. I wanted it here for two reasons. First, I (along with others) can ensure that there are no troll postings here and second, this is the sort of topic that enhances the level of discussion on pedi from the usual "Can I get into Boston Children's?" post.

As to your question, first a couple of general comments. Pedi is and has been about 70% female among entering residents for the last decade or so. This number is fairly "fixed". As such, it isn't surprising that most of the gay pediatricians I've known over the years have been women. Second is that I work and have worked for a very long time in an academic setting, taking care of sick patients. This can be a bit different than a private practice.

With those two caveats, I would say that, in my 25 years of pediatric experience, I've seen lots of gay pediatricians, with the usual proportion of those who are "out", "sort of out" and "pretty closeted." In academic and hospital-based pediatrics I've never known it be an issue in any way and I profoundly doubt it would be. People who have a child in the hospital, especially a sick child in a NICU, PICU, ER, etc, want a good, caring, compassionate doctor. They may bring their personal biases into the interaction, but these go waaay below their desire for good and thoughtful care.

As parents, we and those we treat simply don't get to choose who cares for us in these settings. As such, caregivers are obligated to present a "reasonable" public persona that sets people at ease, while maintaining their rights to be who they are. What that means can vary. I would argue that a lot of visible tattoos and piercings would be unnecessarily unnerving to parents. Being young, female, dark-skinned, accented, wearing a head-covering or other religious garb, etc, etc are not unnecessarily unnerving and parents do very well with all of these. I think you would agree that the overwhelming majority of gay physicians do not create an "unnerving" appearance and this is not a concern, even if it is "obvious" they are gay.

In a private practice pediatric setting, families have a choice. Again, I've known many male and female gay private pediatricians, but I can't say for certain that no one, or virtually no one, would decline to go to a pediatrician because they are gay. I think that, depending on where you practice, this would be uncommon, but it might exist. In general though, if you were in a multi-person pediatric practice, most folks, if not all, would simply choose in that case to see one of your partners for routine care. This is the way it is now, where folks may choose one partner in a practice due to preference regarding age, gender, etc.

Focus the next 3 years on identifying the type of medical practice you would enjoy and wish to spend your entire career on. If it's pedi, you'll be welcomed.

Regards

OBP

 

[CrazyPeds527]

I had a brief discussion about this very topic about a month ago with an intern (now 2nd year) male pediatric resident. He had noted how he was plesantly surprised how he had only had one family the entire intern year (and no one in his peds rotations 3rd/4th years of med school) who had made a comment about his sexual orientation.

As OldBear noted, families in private practice I can imagine if they didn't like your style, might choose to go somewhere else.

On the other hand, those pediatric patients who are gay, if you choose to be "out", might feel much more comfortable speaking with you about your experiences throughout life as a gay male, which would make you ever the more desirable for your patients.

These are just my thoughts, not definitive truths. As a 4th year med student, I can say my classmates on the wards, pediatric or otherwise, have had very, very few problems with their sexual orientation being brought up, let alone questioned. You should, I would hope, in the 21st century, be able to accomplish what you wanted to, without narrow-minded trolls (like some of the people on SDN) stopping you.

 

[exgatr]

At the risk of being flamed, I'll make the following comment:

I am a straight male who has no problem whatsoever with gay people. I do have a problem with people who wear their sexuality on their sleeve however. I don't know when it became appropriate for people to talk about their sexuality in public, but I find that it's commonplace. Nobody (gay/straight/bi, etc....) should talk about their sex life in polite company. That's the bottom line.

Basically, I would have no problem sending my kinds to a homosexual male doctor, as long as he isn't a flaming queen.

 

[Tone2002]

I don't understand how would your patients would know that you are gay.

 

[oldbearprofessor]

I don't understand how would your patients would know that you are gay.

I'll resist the temptation to discuss the "gaydar" of your average toddler and point out that in a private practice setting, families will almost always ask at some time about their pediatrician's family - spouse and kids. Certainly, it is possible for someone to avoid answering or lead them a bit astray, but why would someone who was "out" do that? In a private practice setting, referrals come from other families commonly. In other words, it would likely become known among most of your patients (well, their parents for the little kids) without having to be obvious about it.

 

[m1234d]

also, there is a growing community of families that are composed of same sex parents, and though, I, as a heterosexual parent to be could care less as to my pediatrician's sexual orientation, I would think (having many gay and lesbian friends and living in boys town in Chicago) that these families may appreciate having a pediatrician they are not afraid of judgment from. open up a clinic at halstead and roscoe, and see what happens...

 

[no5no5]

I concur with everyone who has said that, absolutely, beyond a doubt, you should go into peds if that is what you like.

First of all, believe it or not, a lot of people who are homophobic don't pick up on those clues that someone else is gay, so probably most of the people who would have a problem with it will never know. I can tell (usually) because I have a lot of gay friends, etc., but people who aren't around gay people frequently can't tell. Which is not to say that you should try to hide it, but there's no reason to talk about it to your patients, is there?

Second of all, if you are a good ped and good with kids I think most parents won't give a $#!% about your sex life. Even people who might be uncomfortable with gay people in other settings wouldn't necessarily have a problem. It's not as if you are going to be alone with their kids.

Third of all, and I might get flamed for this, a lot of gay men are GREAT with kids. I mean, they're friendly, they're funny, they're not worried about being perceived as unmanly, etc. My one-year-old has a gay male daycare provider who is fantastic, and although it's obvious that he's gay, and most of the kids in the room are male, none of the parents have expressed any concern about it that I am aware of. I trust him absolutely with my daughter, and that would NOT change if she was a boy.

That said, you will probably lose a patient or two. Just like, as I think someone on that thread you linked said, some black peds will lose racist white patients. If they care that much, they can see other peds, and you can see other (better?) patients. 😉

Oh, one more thing: No, don't talk about basketball with the fathers. Talk about the kid's health!

Good luck!

 

[villdkatta]

As a (straight) mom of four children, I'd have no problem at all taking my son and daughters to you - that is, as long as you're a good pediatrician. 😛

One of the best doctors I've ever had is a lesbian - she's my OB/GYN and I wouldn't trade her for any doctor in the world.

By the way, Exgatr mentioned getting flamed, but I'm in agreement. I've known gay people that have had every conversation focus on their sexuality, and it can get annoying. I don't know what that's all about. Then again, there are plenty of annoying straight people, also.


Good luck!

 

[notstudying]

As I've gone through my training I've known more than a few gay men and women who are pediatricians of one sort or another. There have been a few who are very open about their sexual orientation, and who are very involved in GLBTG issues (they are all, I'm sure not coincidentally, in adolescent medicine). There are others who were open but not particularly political, and as far as I know they have not had problems (though the gay dating scene here is apparently worse than the straight scene, which is not saying much), and did very well in getting into fellowships or practice. Choose your specialty based on what you like; when you interview you'll get a sense of which programs and geographical areas may be less tolerant.