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erg923 said:
We just just ban Lingerie.
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You shut your ***** mouth!
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Seriously, the most disturbing part of all this is how immature response to the "offense" was. At least have the gumption to tell me to my face that you're upset instead of telling mommy and daddy on me. Good grief.
 
I think the worst part of all of this is that the joke wasn't even good.
 
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I would have to assume, based on the phasing of the comment, that it was repetition of a joke from the old British TV show "Are you being Served" in which a man, when asked where he is wanting to go, jokes about going to the ladies lingerie floor. The punchline being the "irony" and satire of be being a man and would not really being going there (i.e .sarcasm). I wouldn't expect people to instantly recognize this, and it may have poor joke judgement on his part, but to make this some kind of ridiculous #mettoo moment is ludicrous and undermines the whole issue of subtle misogyny in our culture, which I agree is real.
 
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erg923 said:
I would have to assume, based on the phasing of the comment, that it was repetition of a joke from the old British TV show "Are you being Served" in which a man, when asked where he is wanting to go, jokes about going to the ladies lingerie floor. The punchline being the "irony" and satire of be being a man and would not really being going there (i.e .sarcasm). I wouldn't expect people to instantly recognize this, and it may have poor joke judgement on his part, but to make this some kind of ridiculous #mettoo moment is ludicrous and undermines the whole issue of subtle misogyny in our culture, which I agree is real.
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I see her misogyny claim and raise her heterosexist/gender-ist, appearance-ist, and ageist assumption that the 76 year old guy is NOT interested in purchasing women's lingerie for himself. And down the rabbit hole we go.
 
I just assumed that the profession that focused on the individual would you know...

try to help an individual cope with some people just being jerks or insensitive. Kinda thought that trying to change society as a whole was another discipline.
 
I have a few opinions on this..

1) men should prabably avoid talking about underwear with woman on elevators, even if meant as a joke. Just plain better for everyone that way. Stare forward and step off when the door opens on your floor.
2) this should have dealt with informally and directly, in the form of “I don’t like that joke” or “don’t talk about underwear in enclosed spaces with women you don’t know- it could make them uncomfortable.

This reeks of “point proving” rather than an honest reaction meant to right a wrong and address a truly unsafe situation.

I was speaking to my wife about this this morning. She leans HEAVILY to left on such issues (she’s got a degree in woman’s studies from the college in Amherst that isn’t UMass or Amherst College) and she was kinda pissed by this, making the point that this woman’s response sends a message that woman are so weak that they can’t deal with a stupid (and harmless) joke from an old man without feeling vulnerable.
 
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ClinicalABA said:
I have a few opinions on this..

1) men should prabably avoid talking about underwear with woman on elevators, even if meant as a joke. Just plain better for everyone that way. Stare forward and step off when the door opens on your floor.
2) this should have dealt with informally and directly, in the form of “I don’t like that joke” or “don’t talk about underwear in enclosed spaces with women you don’t know- it could make them uncomfortable.

This reeks of “point proving” rather than an honest reaction meant to right a wrong and address a truly unsafe situation.

I was speaking to my wife about this this morning. She leans HEAVILY to left on such issues (she’s got a degree in woman’s studies from the college in Amherst that isn’t UMass or Amherst College) and she was kinda pissed by this, making the point that this woman’s response sends a message that woman are so weak that they can’t deal with a stupid (and harmless) joke from an old man without feeling vulnerable.
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The "joke" was not about underwear. This was misplaced satire that in any other year people would have had the common sense to either ignore or make a passing comment about "some goofy dude" on on elevator they were on with once.

Good God, whatever happened to good stories?! My family lives in Cincii, and this is would be one of many good Thanksgiving stories to tell about your goofy or ****ed up neighborhood in which you lived. Its a new age and such, but let get real here folks!
 
erg923 said:
The "joke" was not about underwear. This was misplaced satire that in any other year people would have had the common sense to either ignore or make a passing comment about "some goofy dude" on on elevator they were on with once.

Good God, whatever happened to good stories?! My family lives in Cincii, and this is would be one of many good Thanksgiving stories to tell about your goofy or ****ed up neighborhood in which you lived. Its a new age and such, but let get real here folks!
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If you don’t get the joke, it’s just a weird dude talking about underwear (lingerie=underwear). Otherwise I agree with you- this should just be a story about some weird old guy in an elevator.
 
It’s also worth noting that harassment is pretty much universally defined as a repetitive behavior. Eg why asking a coworker out once is not harassment. But, universities consistently believe that their little honor courts can act however they want.
 
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ClinicalABA said:
If you were here you’d see that i am putting a toy on my head, acting like I can’t find it, then pretending to sneeze and acting surprised when it falls into my lap.
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What billing code is that under?
 
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Jon Snow said:
Wow.

What a jackass.

I do note that the airforce base hospital apparently doesn't condone "exposure" therapy.
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Good to know that they don't condone the most efficacious form of therapy for PTSD. Although the military and VA also pay for EMDR and acupuncture. For organizations that were supposedly leading the charge with EBT/ESTs, they've taken a huge step back in eschewing what works for a variety of placebos.
 
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WisNeuro said:
Good to know that they don't condone the most efficacious form of therapy for PTSD. Although the military and VA also pay for EMDR and acupuncture. For organizations that were supposedly leading the charge with EBT/ESTs, they've taken a huge step back in eschewing what works for a variety of placebos.
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That's not true. Just look at all these studies supporting the efficacy of paying a veteran's spouse to be their caregiver:
 
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Ughh its the end of first year and I feel like an emotional pressure cooker. I did decent in classes and received overall great reviews from my advisor and other faculty/admins in the department yet I don't feel like I did anything of note. Like, none of my fellowship apps got funded, I'm having trouble nailing down viable research questions and haven't started any pubs (for some reason my supervisor and I aren't 'getting' each other on this. I express interest in jumping on anything she needs help writing up but I feel like this request gets pushed to the side to add other things to my plate). I'm the lab manager, intervention supervisor, doing data entry and coding for one of the other projects, while also managing 2 other smaller aspects of the lab on top of the 6 - 7 classes I've had per semester but it feels like there was no point to any of it. Is this normal? Next semester it'll be a similar workload just with an additional 20 hrs per week of clinic and I really don't want to go into the academic year feeling this way. I was looking at the advice thread here and while the suggestions there are nice I know that I had to drop 1 of my hobbies and can barely focus on the other consistently so those haven't been very grounding. No way will I quit; I've wanted to do this since I was a kid but seeing how this was how I felt last semester as well it would be nice to be a little happy during the rest of this marathon :rolleyes:

Tl;dr: I feel like I've sucked at being a PhD student this year and I don't get how people feel energized by this experience. Is this burnout?
 
rerope said:
Tl;dr: I feel like I've sucked at being a PhD student this year and I don't get how people feel energized by this experience. Is this burnout?
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Maybe. This is a means towards an end...I really think there are only a select few who can enjoy all of it and maintain sustained passion and interest in such a field all throughout grad school. The rewards (financial and otherwise) are delayed, science moves slowly, most psychologists (not too mention anyone else in the world) don't read your journal articles, patients can be frustrating, therapy and psych testing pay poorly unless its cash, etc.
 
rerope said:
Tl;dr: I feel like I've sucked at being a PhD student this year and I don't get how people feel energized by this experience. Is this burnout?
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There are times in life where keeping things afloat is the best you are going to do and that is alright. You're in the end of first year? You have the luxury of time and my guess is that you are a low priority compared to keeping things moving for those on the other end. There are going to be many points going forward where it will feel like you are treading water. Learn to enjoy those times a bit more as those are often the times you should be enjoying life and conserving energy for future periods of high production rather than stressing over when that period will arrive. Just remember that what you need to do is survive not necessarily always kick behind.
 
Sanman said:
There are times in life where keeping things afloat is the best you are going to do and that is alright. You're in the end of first year? You have the luxury of time and my guess is that you are a low priority compared to keeping things moving for those on the other end. There are going to be many points going forward where it will feel like you are treading water. Learn to enjoy those times a bit more as those are often the times you should be enjoying life and conserving energy for future periods of high production rather than stressing over when that period will arrive. Just remember that what you need to do is survive not necessarily always kick behind.
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I get what your saying and its mostly applicable (there's some context that I won't get into). But you are right; I do expend way too much energy on the wrong things. Should probably funnel it into the gym or kickboxing this summer...
 
rerope said:
...(there's some context that I won't get into)
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This is certainly your prerogative, and I think most of us can respect your choice not to share some details. I do want to point out, however, that if you aren’t presenting all the information, then any advice you get here is based on incomplete data and should be approached cautiously.

I think you’ve been given some good general advice for dealing with the normal stress that comes with thorough clinical training. It can be a slog, and it can be easy to lose sight of what it’s all for in the end, so good self care is important. However, if you’re leaving out important details, the solutions you’re getting may be insufficient or even contraindicated. For example, exercising more is not the solution for insufficient supervision or support from your advisor.
 
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