general concerns

[missdds223]

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Hey, guys! So I am currently a senior in undergrad, and I plan on applying to dental school either this year or next, depending on how comfortable I am with my application.
Before I apply, I just want to air out some of the concerns I've been struggling with since the moment I seriously decided to pursue a career in dentistry (which was my sophomore year).
I started out premed but eventually decided on dentistry for many reasons, one of which is the lifestyle it offers.
I guess this question is more for the women in dentistry? But I'm all ears for any piece of advice I can get.
Though I love the profession of dentistry and can't imagine myself doing anything else, I do not want my life to only be work. I want to have a family, and I don't want to be in my 30's until I start having kids.
Also, I want to be a part of my kid's lives. I don't want to have to hire a nanny.
However, dental school is awfully expensive. I will be walking into dental school with preexisting loans from undergrad. It will take years to pay off my loans, and I will have to work full time in order to pay them off and have a comfortable income for my home.
My question, or my concern, is that I will be giving up my goal of having and raising a family by deciding to pursue a career in dentistry. I know that there are women who don't care to have a family asap, which is completely fair, I mean hey, we all have our preferences. However, I am one of those women who has dreamed about raising a family since I was child myself. At the same time, I have always dreamed about becoming a doctor as well. I love both, but I am worried I will have to sacrifice one dream for the other.
What do y'all think? Will I be able to live comfortably as a doctor and a mama? Is this even possible?
Please don't be rude. This is a completely legitimate concern that I know many women who are pursuing a career in healthcare share.

Thank you!

 

[AppalachianDentalBoy]

Loans are going to suck. Go to the cheapest school possible (probably your in state public school) so you can prioritize your family's financial future.

I don't think anyone will tell you that you'll have to give up having a family because that is silly. Average hours worked by dentists is 36 per week while only 14% of physicians work less than 40.

There is a practice owner in town who works 20 hours a week and spends the rest of the week with her kids. My boss worked 2-3 days per week her entire career. Both had/have working spouses though.

 

[Likkriue]

If you go to a school and end up with 600k+ in debt you will be paying that for the rest of your life. So be careful with school selection.

 

[B4SS]

Consider the HPSP scholarship program. Be proactive in funding options and apply to all the scholarships you can. Life is short, work hard, and enjoy what you do. Family life is my priority, I’ve been married for a few years and one consideration when choosing dentistry was the work hours, even though more and more dentists are 5 days a week now.

 

[setdoc7]

Practice owners work more than employees. If you think you will turn the key at the end of the day and forget about the office, you are sadly mistaken. It will be on your mind like a spouse or child, and requires constant attention. Less attention will mean less profit. Delegating responsibility without owner oversight is a recipe for theft, lack of supplies, and poor overall patient satisfaction. 24 hours/week of actual patient care may mean an extra 10-15 hours of non clinical work. Things like dental insurance reconciliation takes time and should be overseen by the owner. Because you are not an “insurance practice “ does not mean you are absolved from dealing with it. Supplies are not just bibs and saliva ejectors. Implant parts are expensive and must be custom ordered. Allowing the staff access to the business credit card may encourage unscrupulous use. No one will watch YOUR money and YOUR equipment like you.

And remember, because your schedule says 24 hours a week, that may not account for walk in emergencies, which are hard to turn away. And when you take time off, your pay is zero. Think about that while sipping the frozen drink on the beach.
So what I am saying is it is all about planning and behind the scene work. Not just drilling at the chair.

 

[2TH MVR]

You can do both, but you have to plan it out. It starts with low DS debt. If you cannot attend a cheap DS and your plans are to work PT raising a family .... then Dentistry is not for you. Attend a cheap DS so that you and your family will not be burdened with life-crushing debt.

As for private practice. It can be done PT, but it won't be easy. Your overhead does not care that you are PT raising a family. Overhead expenses exist 100% of time regardless if you're in the office or not. I've also seen some spouses that help out with the business side. A private practice requires 100% commitment or you risk failure.

Your other option is Corp. I work Corp now. Plenty of full and PT women work for these offices. Many are managing dentists and have families. Working Corp is not glamerous with little to no upside, BUT it will pay your bills, allow you to work PT, employee benefits, and you literally can leave WORK at WORK.

 

[FutureDent020]

Consider the HPSP scholarship program. Be proactive in funding options and apply to all the scholarships you can. Life is short, work hard, and enjoy what you do. Family life is my priority, I’ve been married for a few years and one consideration when choosing dentistry was the work hours, even though more and more dentists are 5 days a week now.

Careful with this advice. Sure, it would be great for the financial benefits, but you lose all freedom to choose your hours. It’s generally 7-4 5 days a week. So basically exactly what the OP does not want. And that’s for at least 4-5 years.

 

[321931]

Careful with this advice. Sure, it would be great for the financial benefits, but you lose all freedom to choose your hours. It’s generally 7-4 5 days a week. So basically exactly what the OP does not want. And that’s for at least 4-5 years.

Um what makes more sense. Paying back loans and interest for 10-30 years (depending on your debt load) or just sucking it up, working hard for 4-5 years and becoming debt free?

Um, you would be stupid to not take the HPSP. I would take it hands down. Work hard, be debt free, and do whatever you want. Or you can do what most new dentists do, lease a bmw, go on instagram vacations, and accumulate 7% interest on their loans, and when they start settling down and want to have a kids and house, they realize how deeply in debt they are, start freaking out, and thinking man dentistry sucks.

 

[FutureDent020]

Um what makes more sense. Paying back loans and interest for 10-30 years (depending on your debt load) or just sucking it up, working hard for 4-5 years and becoming debt free?

Um, you would be stupid to not take the HPSP. I would take it hands down. Work hard, be debt free, and do whatever you want. Or you can do what most new dentists do, lease a bmw, go on instagram vacations, and accumulate 7% interest on their loans, and when they start settling down and want to have a kids and house, they realize how deeply in debt they are, start freaking out, and thinking man dentistry sucks.

HPSP recipient here. Been in it for 5 years. No one said she shouldn’t consider it or that it’s a bad deal. OP was concerned about working full time while raising her family and stated she doesn’t want a nanny. She would have to work full time and most likely get a nanny in the military (if her partner works). Just because the financial benefits outweighs everything else for you, doesn’t mean they will for her....But FYI I don’t disagree with your opinion. It’s a good deal.

 

[Likkriue]

Um what makes more sense. Paying back loans and interest for 10-30 years (depending on your debt load) or just sucking it up, working hard for 4-5 years and becoming debt free?

Um, you would be stupid to not take the HPSP. I would take it hands down. Work hard, be debt free, and do whatever you want. Or you can do what most new dentists do, lease a bmw, go on instagram vacations, and accumulate 7% interest on their loans, and when they start settling down and want to have a kids and house, they realize how deeply in debt they are, start freaking out, and thinking man dentistry sucks.

My instagram is packed full of dental students on instagram vacations. And even more of a ton of instagram copycats posting just how special their dental school experience is.

 

[321931]

My instagram is packed full of dental students on instagram vacations. And even more of a ton of instagram copycats posting just how special their dental school experience is.

Ya I sorta figured that would be the case and I graduated in 2014. To bad later on in life, these are the same people posting on FB/meetups complaining about how hard it is to settle down, buy a house, raise a kid, family, practice with the amount of debt they have accrued combined with interest.

My best advice for any young gun. Be frugal, work hard in your prime, and get rid of those student loans asap. Then enjoy life.

 

[B4SS]

Careful with this advice. Sure, it would be great for the financial benefits, but you lose all freedom to choose your hours. It’s generally 7-4 5 days a week. So basically exactly what the OP does not want. And that’s for at least 4-5 years.

All I said was to consider your options. So, I don't know why you would need to be careful with my advice. Yes, be careful, being proactive and learning about all the different possible options is dangerous! Also, 7-4 5 days a week seems pretty typical to me. What would be the alternative? 8-5 5 days a week?

 

[321931]

HPSP recipient here. Been in it for 5 years. No one said she shouldn’t consider it or that it’s a bad deal. OP was concerned about working full time while raising her family and stated she doesn’t want a nanny. She would have to work full time and most likely get a nanny in the military (if her partner works). Just because the financial benefits outweighs everything else for you, doesn’t mean they will for her....But FYI I don’t disagree with your opinion. It’s a good deal.

You know whats more stressful then working full time while raising a family...

Having the stress of "NEEDING" to work in order to "SURVIVE." If you have a 3000-5000$ loan payment, kids, and mortgage on top of your head...your LIFE will be WORK in order to "SURVIVE."

The financial benefits of HPSP...is so great because when you are debt free...you don't have to work to survive. I know graduates who either married rich, had a kid, and work 2-3 days a week. I know graduates who had their daddy pay off their loans...and they married had a kid and work 2-3 days a week....And then I know graduates who have 2 kids, work 5-6 days a week, and complain about it. They work because they need to survive...that's why HPSP is awesome. Get out of debt.

 

[FutureDent020]

You know whats more stressful then working full time while raising a family...

Having the stress of "NEEDING" to work in order to "SURVIVE." If you have a 3000-5000$ loan payment, kids, and mortgage on top of your head...your LIFE will be WORK in order to "SURVIVE."

The financial benefits of HPSP...is so great because when you are debt free...you don't have to work to survive. I know graduates who either married rich, had a kid, and work 2-3 days a week. I know graduates who had their daddy pay off their loans...and they married had a kid and work 2-3 days a week....And then I know graduates who have 2 kids, work 5-6 days a week, and complain about it. They work because they need to survive...that's why HPSP is awesome. Get out of debt.

Again, not telling her not to consider the HPSP. Simply giving her details about it since I did it. Offering her facts from my own experience. OP has two main issues: being there for family and concern about finances. Guess what the military can do? It can take you far away from your family... Not arguing against the immense financial benefits or with you.

 

[FutureDent020]

All I said was to consider your options. So, I don't know why you would need to be careful with my advice. Yes, be careful, being proactive and learning about all the different possible options is dangerous! Also, 7-4 5 days a week seems pretty typical to me. What would be the alternative? 8-5 5 days a week?
Yea, your advice was good. The “be careful” was more of a remark at the HPSP, not the overall statement. And yea, both of those are normal working hours, but my interpretation of the OP’s post was that she wasn’t keen on working full time...

Yea, your advice was good. The “be careful” was just in regards to the HPSP potentially being the answer. Not telling her disregard your advice. And yea, those both are normal working hours, but it was my interpretation that the OP is not keen on full time working hours

 

[Faefly]

Unless you want to be a stay home mom, I don't see how dentistry or any other job will affect your ability to get married and have kids.

I mean this is what working means, you go to work because you love your job or you have responsibilities toward your job and you have to make amends. You make amends and try to balance between family and work.

In our world, men and women work all the time, and they have kids and can raise them.

Moreover, If you want to be a stay home mom, you gotta find the man right?

Where is he anyway? Is he ok with doing all the work?

Besides, you haven't even been accepted you to dentistry? You are concerned about something that did not even happen!

There is always the possibility of you not becoming a dentist and also not finding the one! Happens all the time in life!

Or finding the " not the right" one, having kids, and ending up having to raise them alone without having a solid job to provide for them.

One last comment, what is this iffiness toward 30.

"I don't want to be in the 30s and having kids" many of the mothers the predental and dentists here were in their 30's and they had us

This is like an insult to all of them and any other women in their 30s who are having kids.

I am sorry if Kim's little sister changed the stigma, but I am pretty sure Kim herself and her older sister did manage to have kids in their 30's. (gasp)

 

[missdds223]

Unless you want to be a stay home mom, I don't see how dentistry or any other job will affect your ability to get married and have kids.

I mean this is what working means, you go to work because you love your job or you have responsibilities toward your job and you have to make amends. You make amends and try to balance between family and work.

In our world, men and women work all the time, and they have kids and can raise them.

Moreover, If you want to be a stay home mom, you gotta find the man right?

Where is he anyway? Is he ok with doing all the work?

Besides, you haven't even been accepted you to dentistry? You are concerned about something that did not even happen!

There is always the possibility of you not becoming a dentist and also not finding the one! Happens all the time in life!

Or finding the " not the right" one, having kids, and ending up having to raise them alone without having a solid job to provide for them.

One last comment, what is this iffiness toward 30.

"I don't want to be in the 30s and having kids" many of the mothers the predental and dentists here were in their 30's and they had us

This is like an insult to all of them and any other women in their 30s who are having kids.

I am sorry if Kim's little sister changed the stigma, but I am pretty sure Kim herself and her older sister did manage to have kids in their 30's. (gasp)

Okay first off, I do currently have someone in my life. He is a 2nd year medical resident, and we plan on getting married sooner rather than later.
Secondly, my gpa is in the range for dental schools (3.6 overall, 3.5 science), I am president of my dental club, worked as a dental assistant for 2 years, shadowed multiple dentists, and participated in a lot of volunteer work. I understand that this in no way guarantees an acceptance, but I am still a little hopeful.
Lastly, I really do not care if you or any other women in their 30's are insulted by the fact that I do not want to wait until I'm in my 30's to start a family. That's MY preference. It's MY life. I am in no way insulting women who decided to live out their lives differently than I, like I said in my original post, "I know that there are women who don't care to have a family asap, which is completely fair, I mean hey, we all have our preferences. However, I am one of those women who has dreamed about raising a family since I was child myself."

Other than that, I agree with you. Because I plan on working, I do have to make amends to balance home and work life. I was just wanted to hear people's opinions on the matter.

 

[missdds223]

HPSP recipient here. Been in it for 5 years. No one said she shouldn’t consider it or that it’s a bad deal. OP was concerned about working full time while raising her family and stated she doesn’t want a nanny. She would have to work full time and most likely get a nanny in the military (if her partner works). Just because the financial benefits outweighs everything else for you, doesn’t mean they will for her....But FYI I don’t disagree with your opinion. It’s a good deal.

I've actually considered it. I spoke with an army dentist last week, and I am really interested.Walking out of dental school debt free is not something that I can overlook. Even though I will have to work 4 years post graduation at a site the army places me in, I'd much rather be able to have all my loans paid off by 31 then worry about them for the rest of my life. If it comes down to it, I wont mind hiring a nanny for those few years until I get my life together. But I don't know, there are still many things I need to consider. But thank you so much! I appreciate your input, truly.

 

[sb.tnh]

@missdds223: What is your college degree in? What would you do if you decide to not pursuing dentistry? Would that alternative option afford you more time for your family?
I think those are the questions that you should consider.

 

[Cthuluhoop]

Sad state of affairs that schools have raised tuition so much that potential students have to ask these questions. Most of these people acting like it's no big deal don't understand what major debt is like and don't usually have a firm concept of money. When they graduate from their big private schools and become a dentist at any cost, they'll see how crippling $60k+ a year in debt repayment really is and their sentiments will change I'm sure.

Okay first off, I do currently have someone in my life. He is a 2nd year medical resident, and we plan on getting married sooner rather than later.
Secondly, my gpa is in the range for dental schools (3.6 overall, 3.5 science), I am president of my dental club, worked as a dental assistant for 2 years, shadowed multiple dentists, and participated in a lot of volunteer work. I understand that this in no way guarantees an acceptance, but I am still a little hopeful.
Lastly, I really do not care if you or any other women in their 30's are insulted by the fact that I do not want to wait until I'm in my 30's to start a family. That's MY preference. It's MY life. I am in no way insulting women who decided to live out their lives differently than I, like I said in my original post, "I know that there are women who don't care to have a family asap, which is completely fair, I mean hey, we all have our preferences. However, I am one of those women who has dreamed about raising a family since I was child myself."

Other than that, I agree with you. Because I plan on working, I do have to make amends to balance home and work life. I was just wanted to hear people's opinions on the matter.

You are very smart to think about this now. I'm not sure how you wanting to have children before you're 30 is some grand insult to women. All life goals are important, and that's one of them.
Like others have said, you need to pay attention to the cost of the schools you will be applying to. It will be very tough to pay back $350k+ while having children, especially if you actually want to raise the children and not just have nanny. Every day you're not working, you're not making any money, and your loan bills keep coming

 

[setdoc7]

Your SO is a Med resident? How are you sure that you will be accepted into a school where he can continue or finish training? Or that there will be a job your SO wants to take? D school acceptance is not a given, and right there may be a source of compromise which may or may not happen for the two of you. Some of my classmates had kids in D school. It was very tough for them to keep up with school requirements. None of my current female residents have kids, actually none are even married.
Having a career and raising kids is a very delicate balance. I have been there. My wife and I have always worked, and even with lots of forethought, schedules have a funny way of not always working out the way you want. Children put an enormous strain on life for two career driven individuals. If you really want to be a dentist, and you do not come from a fabulously wealthy family (I have seen this with my residents, and it works out much more easily) you should think about your career trajectory.
I am not saying it is not possible, and I was a young parent. Both of our parents were retired and helped with the kids, but we got married when we were each already finished with school. I was 24 and a DDS, my wife was 22 and an RN. I was 26 when our first son was born. In the end, it will come down to your personal choice, as this is after all, just an LED screen which you can turn off any time. My suggestion is to explore all the angles when making this decision. Unlike shoes form Neiman Marcus, and spouses, children have a no return policy.