Getting pushback

[Mcgeehon9]

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Majority of the time i am confident and I follow my gut feelings. I am getting majority pushback from my wife and this is making me uneasy here is my story ....

I am still young i just turned 24 this year and have a successful financial practice. Currently business is doing well and she doesnt have to work even though she has her masters in speech lanuguage pathology and is capable of working and making good income.

I hate my job, even thou i am good at advicing people where to put money i will be extremely dissappointed if I looked back and I stayed at this route. I hate that from the time i wake up to the time i go to bed all i think about is stocks bonds money....THIS IS MORE TO LIFE THEN MONEY...

I graduated in the top of my high school class and wanted to be a doctor from 10th grade. My first two years of college I studied biological sciences and really enjoyed it.

I got in a bad group of friends and consumed alcohol way to much..I made some really poor decisions and did get in trouble for them. I switch majority becasue i was an idiot and gave into peer pressure. Those events i know will send red flags in the process but those same events changed my life. I am a better person from it. I realize that the people i hung out with where bad news and made all new friends that support my goals and dreams. Been without alcohol for three years and gave serveral presentations and volunteered on alcohol awareness.

My GPA ended up being a 3.7 which is not ideall but i want to enroll in washington univeristy post bacc premedical program to boost the gpa and finish the required classes.

These are the major questions that she keeps on asking.... any advice how to answer them???
1) Why would you walk away from a six figure income and we have zero debt to zero income and a lot of debt ( I said bc money doesnt matter and i want to follow my dream but appartently that wasnt good enough)
2) I was convicted of a misameddor of a dwi three years ago? I know that wont help but will that be enough to ban me?
3) She thinks i am too old to start this journey - i would enter med school 2014 i will be 27

Thank you for any advice, pointers, or anything really....

 

[EdLongshanks]

These are the major questions that she keeps on asking.... any advice how to answer them???
1) Why would you walk away from a six figure income and we have zero debt to zero income and a lot of debt ( I said bc money doesnt matter and i want to follow my dream but appartently that wasnt good enough)
2) I was convicted of a misameddor of a dwi three years ago? I know that wont help but will that be enough to ban me?
3) She thinks i am too old to start this journey - i would enter med school 2014 i will be 27

Thank you for any advice, pointers, or anything really....

27 is pretty close to the median age for matriculating into medical school. I don't know about the DWI, maybe you ought to ask that question to the admissions department of a school that you might not necessarily apply to.

As a doctor you would make sufficient money so that you would not be poor, so the few years of low income would eventually balance out and be a wash.

Your wife's opposition is a larger issue. My wife was also not on board this at first and she still waffles occasionally, but I have carried her along on my enthusiasm. This is not ideal. If your wife is not one to be inspired by your dreams, you may have a problem.

Also, remember, she may have a point. You worked hard to get where you are, and now you are unsatisfied with it. How do you know that you won't work for years to become a doctor and then be unsatisfied with that to? Your history is a little unstable and might indicate itchy feet syndrome.

We no longer have unhappy medical students posting in this forum, and that may be a bad thing. We used to have a lot of posts from (strangely enough, usually male) students who were determined to get into medical school and then realized that this was the wrong path. Unfortunately, medical school is an all or nothing proposition. Once you are in, it is very costly financially, socially, and career-wise to get out.

 

[lsu hopeful]

I honestly would suggest you go to marriage counseling to work it out. You can go see a marriage counselor by yourself, without telling your wife, to talk it out. I would expect that they'll give you far more valuable advice than we could. Even though we're non-trad pre-med students, this is one specific thing that links us into giving you a valuable answer. A marriage counselor, on the other hand, sees situations like this all the time, whether it's following a dream and the other doesn't want to follow or it's just a case of the couple not agreeing on something. If you don't like what you hear from that counselor, go see two more. They're definitely not all the same and you will almost never hear the same thing twice. In the end, do what works for you, but remember the pledge made to your wife.

 

[PamIsHorny]

I was working in finance a couple years out of college. Nice salary, but had little job satisfaction. I did a postbac, built some considerable debt becoming a doctor. Do I regret the decision? It depends what kind of day I'm having. I do have some advice....

As a doctor you would make sufficient money so that you would not be poor, so the few years of low income would eventually balance out and be a wash.

It's more than just a few years of low income.
Think hard about the overall opportunity cost. If you make six figures now.....
Lost wages: 1 year post bac $100k +
4 years med school $400 K +

Cost of postbac 30K
Cost of med school 250K (not an uncommon number. Obviously this could be less)

Lost wages again as a resident: Making 40K for 4 years = 60K loss X 4 = another cool quarter million bucks.

Unfortunately, the financial bad news doesn't stop there. AMA and AMSA did nothing to help us when the new financial aid legislation discontinued our ability to defer during residence. Read that again, you will be told that your loans are in repayment when you are making $9 / hour as an intern. Those loans have considerable interest. The solution? You have the opportunity for forebearance. Automatic acceptance actually.....but your interest rate will really go up.

And if you decide you really like general peds, family practice, internal medicine (the list goes on), you might be making the same salary you are now. You will never recover the million dollars from above.

With all that said, I really don't regret becoming a doctor. The above math is about what I gave up financially. I can handle the financial ding.

If your wife can handle that math, be a doctor. It's a cool job. And know going in that many in the general public with think of you as a rich, selfish doctor. If you have thick skin, be a doctor. It's a cool job.

 

[FrkyBgStok]

The problem is we can give you awesome things to say, but if your wife isn't supportive you have only 2 options. 1) forget medicine, or 2) get a divorce. This sounds harsh but going into medicine as a married couple will require her total support because it will get hard, she will have to work, you will be around less, it will cost a ridiculous amount of money, you are walking away from a ridiculous amount of money, etc, etc, continue with etc. You can't do it without her support.

With my wife, I think she is allowing me to pursue my dreams, and she thinks I am doing medicine so I can provide for the family and for her. She thanks me and I thank her. These are not my dreams. There are our dreams. And I feel like this type of support is essential to my success.

Also understand, I have 3 kids starting school which throws an ENORMOUS wrench in things.

 

[EdLongshanks]

If your wife can handle that math, be a doctor. It's a cool job. And know going in that many in the general public with think of you as a rich, selfish doctor. If you have thick skin, be a doctor. It's a cool job.

Well, maybe not selfish, but definitely rich. Because - let's face it - doctors make good money. Yes, yes, I know, rural PCP's may not make much over $100K. Oh boo hoo, weep my eyes out. The country doctor in the depressed area with low-priced houses and student loan forgiveness who is the center of the social life and town hero is only making 6 figures. I'm working on getting my sympathy up, but it's just not working.

 

[LifeTake2]

Majority of the time i am confident and I follow my gut feelings. I am getting majority pushback from my wife and this is making me uneasy here is my story ....

I am still young i just turned 24 this year and have a successful financial practice. Currently business is doing well and she doesnt have to work even though she has her masters in speech lanuguage pathology and is capable of working and making good income.

Deal with the wife/marriage before you make a decision about medical school. If you don't have her support you are doomed before you start. You might get to be a Dr; but she will get part of your income the rest of your life. You comment is loaded with resentment about her not working, you MUST deal with this before you make any major decisions.

My GPA ended up being a 3.7 which is not ideall but i want to enroll in washington univeristy post bacc premedical program to boost the gpa and finish the required classes.

All things being equal, 3.7 is not a bad GPA, without more knowledge I can't tell you what to do but your 1st thought shouldn't be a formal post-bacc program IMHO if you are starting with a 3.7 (higher than average matriculated GPA to allopathic schools, much higher than DO).

1) Why would you walk away from a six figure income and we have zero debt to zero income and a lot of debt ( I said bc money doesnt matter and i want to follow my dream but appartently that wasnt good enough)

see comment above, you have to BOTH agree to this or it won't work, you married her you have to consider her in your decision

2) I was convicted of a misameddor of a dwi three years ago? I know that wont help but will that be enough to ban me?

Techincally I don't think so, BUT the fact that you had an established alcohol problem & got a DWI at 21 is not going to help you. And some AdComs are not likely to consider you near far enough from it to prove that you have moved beyond it.

3) She thinks i am too old to start this journey - i would enter med school 2014 i will be 27

On this one she is wrong, I am applying this summer and will be matriculating at 36; you would be practicing by the time your 36.

(For reference as to my point of view: I'm 35, married for 13yrs, have a BS & a Master's degree and the associated debt, walked away from a 12+yr career and 100K+ income in Dec 2009 to pursue medicine.)

 

[spiderpete]

A skeptical wife shows you she understands the magnitude of the endeavor. I dont agree that the only alternative is med school or divorce, but it takes a lot of commitment. There are other very good threads out there that talk about how others handle that balance. A few quick thoughts:

- marriage counselor suggestion is very solid. We talked to our pastor for this purpose and it brought clarity to the situation for both of us.
- post bacc classes can be your trial period. Confirm you love the studying and science, and that she can deal with your funky hours. I compressed my work into 12 months, and while it wasnt as tough as med school will be, it gave us a sense of how family life will be
- schedule time dedicated to family and honor it as much as possible. This helps a lot!

Gl