Getting tough to keep biting my tongue...

[golfman]

I've had great residents for the most part in third year. Some really awesome ones, too. I've had one recently, however, that just treats med students like crap and it is starting to irritate me. Because they hold such a large part of my grade in their hands, all I can do is nod, smile, and be enthusiastic. If only they knew that mentally I was giving them the double bird. If grades weren't an issue, I'd for sure step up and say something to them. Just venting here, don't know if anybody else is tired of just bending over and taking it because of the fear of pissing off the person in charge of our grade. Any suggestions on how to deal with someone like this would be great.

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[StephenMaturin]

I've had great residents for the most part in third year. Some really awesome ones, too. I've had one recently, however, that just treats med students like crap and it is starting to irritate me. Because they hold such a large part of my grade in their hands, all I can do is nod, smile, and be enthusiastic. If only they knew that mentally I was giving them the double bird. If grades weren't an issue, I'd for sure step up and say something to them. Just venting here, don't know if anybody else is tired of just bending over and taking it because of the fear of pissing off the person in charge of our grade. Any suggestions on how to deal with someone like this would be great.

What are they doing?

 

[CardiacIntensivist]

It's tough man. The best for now is to keep your eye on the prize (4th year) and power through. Try to find other medical students in a similar position to vent. Those will be the most understanding. Definitely do not complaint to residents unless you know them on a more personal level. Good luck to you.

 

[Mr Cookie Pants]

Chances are, they probably do know that you don't like them. And maybe they don't like you either. You're not going to get along with everybody and maybe there's a chance that you're not the be all end all function like a junior attending as a MS3 that most med students think they are. Medicine was and still should be a hierarchy. Fall in line.

 

[MilkmanAl]

I'd say something to him. I'm not so concerned with my grades that I'd sacrifice my dignity to get them. Be respectful, of course, but there's no reason for you to take **** of that magnitude.

 

[smq123]

I'd say something to him. I'm not so concerned with my grades that I'd sacrifice my dignity to get them. Be respectful, of course, but there's no reason for you to take **** of that magnitude.

**** of what magnitude? What exactly did the resident do? 😕

 

[Droopy Snoopy]

**** of what magnitude? What exactly did the resident do? 😕

Well I'm taking the OP literally and going with repetitive anal penetration

 

[nlax30]

Well I'm taking the OP literally and going with repetitive anal penetration

While "know your role!" is chanted in the background...

 

[DocEspana]

While "know your role!" is chanted in the background...

everyone knows about things you can't 'unsee', but this might be one of the few times I wish i could 'unthink' the mental image i just got, complete with background music.

 

[golfman]

**** of what magnitude? What exactly did the resident do? 😕

Sorry, was busy on call and haven't had a chance to respond. I'm a little calmer now. This resident is one that no med student likes to work with. They are notorious for being purposefully rude to medical students, and just one of those personalities where everything has to be done EXACTLY there way or it is incorrect. They will call medical students stupid, literally yell at them for stupid things like not holding a retractor in the exact right position, and be very critical of every plan that we come up with.

I'm all for feedback, and I actually love brutal honesty. I think it helps me improve. Just don't appreciate name calling, condescention, or being yelled at and told that we are worthless and that we medical students are going to be a disaster in practice. (For the record, I've done great on other rotations, it's not just me this resident goes after).

Sorry, don't want to be any more specific. I think my frustration boils down to the condescending tone all of the time and the name calling. I don't deal well with that. I may not know as much as you do, but don't call me stupid or worthless or I will mentally flip you off.

 

[CardiacIntensivist]

Sorry, was busy on call and haven't had a chance to respond. I'm a little calmer now. This resident is one that no med student likes to work with. They are notorious for being purposefully rude to medical students, and just one of those personalities where everything has to be done EXACTLY there way or it is incorrect. They will call medical students stupid, literally yell at them for stupid things like not holding a retractor in the exact right position, and be very critical of every plan that we come up with.

I'm all for feedback, and I actually love brutal honesty. I think it helps me improve. Just don't appreciate name calling, condescention, or being yelled at and told that we are worthless and that we medical students are going to be a disaster in practice. (For the record, I've done great on other rotations, it's not just me this resident goes after).

Sorry, don't want to be too specific. I think my frustration boils down to the condescending tone all of the time and the name calling. I don't deal well with that. I may not know as much as you do, but don't call me stupid or worthless or I will mentally flip you off.

That sucks 🙁 Sometimes people forget the difference between constructive criticism and insults. It's unfortunate that go go the **** end of the stick when most residents are relatively easy to work with. Sad how quickly residents and attendings forget how powerless the medical student feels at all times and feel it is their duty to abuse us. Hope you are able to work through these issues.

 

[golfman]

That sucks 🙁 Sometimes people forget the difference between constructive criticism and insults. It's unfortunate that go go the **** end of the stick when most residents are relatively easy to work with. Sad how quickly residents and attendings forget how powerless the medical student feels at all times and feel it is their duty to abuse us. Hope you are able to work through these issues.

Yeah, it sucks. What did make me feel better was talking to other students who had the exact same experience. For some reason it bothers me less to be called stupid when I know everybody else is being called stupid. It has actually been surprising, I've had great residents up until now. I just take it with a grain of salt, and will plan on walking on eggshells for the next little while.

 

[CardiacIntensivist]

That's a big problem with the clinical years. There is a fine line between accepting abuse and trying to be professional. What I've learned is that one must wisely pick and choose their battles. A moment of emotional satisfaction/catharsis may not be worth a permanent blemish on the Dean's report. That's frustrating. You are not alone sir.

 

[Lokhtar]

I'd say something to him.

 

[medsend]

we were told in the beginning of the year and it has been repeatedly several times at our school that if we have a problem with a resident to address it with the attending/clerkship director. Usually the problem gets solved very quickly. I dont know if I would approach this person directly, it might just get worse.

 

[OCallag]

Chances are, they probably do know that you don't like them. And maybe they don't like you either. You're not going to get along with everybody and maybe there's a chance that you're not the be all end all function like a junior attending as a MS3 that most med students think they are. Medicine was and still should be a hierarchy. Fall in line.

It should be a hierarchy, but there's a difference between treating a med student as someone with less experience/wisdom and treating a ~25 year old adult like a child and being a tremendous dick.

 

[MilkmanAl]

Agreed. I'm sticking with my original assessment.

 

[MedLover25]

..."holding a retractor..."

Sounds like your on surgery.

Ummmmmmmm........WELCOME TO SURGERY 😀

Sorry, but I'm pretty sure everyone has one of these guys. I had 2 residents and 1 of the 5 surgery attendings that was like that. Imagine doing 3 AWESOME cases with your attending, both of you get really into the case, talk about it afterwards. He shakes your hand after the cases and says "good job".....then the next day when the PA says "medlover is post-call, going on 34 hours, can I let him go" and him responding with "who's medlover?" And then yelling at you 3 days later for improperly removing staples from a patient (even though sterile technique was used and the patient felt no pain).

You can actually take a lot a way from those experiences. The key is - drop YOUR ego. It's about patients - remember that. The resident and attending know more than you, plain and simple. They have their reasons and while I don't agree with that style of teaching, if that's how they were trained....

just gotta live with it man

 

[MilkmanAl]

It's about patients - remember that.

Please don't ever say that again.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

So I did not hold my tongue and stood up for the team of 6 medical students who were constantly shat on by the interns. This was also a surgery service. Let me tell you, that sucked. I fought for a high pass when all my scores said honors like whoa. 92 on the shelf, solid evals and high scores from the rest of the 6 week rotation, 1 2week block, 1 comment from an INTERN and my grade suffered.

Was I right? Hell yeah I was. But too much was sacrificed for my "rightness." Some one has already said it "know your role" and stick to it. If that means being brow beaten and verbally raped, take it. Then take it up with the clerkship director. Which, of course, will go no where, and will end up being a "war story" from your medical school experience. Take those experiences and promise NEVER to be like that TO ANYONE. The worst thing you could do is take the abuse, internalize it, then take out the frustration on someone else, perpetuating the cycle.

What I didnt realize until only recently is that the aggression, anger, and disgust that resident displays for others is his own weakness, his own disatisfaction of himself that leads him to act that way. He fears failure. He doesn't know enough. He isn't a good surgeron. Those fears create negative emotions within himself that he then externalizes onto you. He is a weak person and should be pitied at most, ignored at worst.

Venting here does wonders. Don't confront him. It isn't worth it.

 

[MilkmanAl]

There are plenty of people who are insufferable *******s and still good at what they do, unfortunately. I don't deny that talking back to a resident or intern or attending could harm your grade, but I'm very willing to drop from an A to a B if it means I get to keep my dignity and self-respect. Sure, you have to be willing to put up with a decent amount of crap during your clinical years. However, there is absolutely no reason you should have to cope with someone who's going out of his way to screw you over and make you miserable. You may be a subordinate, but you're still a person and deserve to be treated as such.

 

[coldweatherblue]

You may be a subordinate, but you're still a person and deserve to be treated as such.

strong evidence from my trauma surgery rotation contradicts this..

no, for real, I believe that every person deserves a basic measure of respect. It's probably a hangover from those blissfully ignorant early collegiate days where life was sunshine and roses and nothing bad happened. However, as a medical student, you can pretty much count on passive-aggressive nurses/residents/attendings mercilessly using your vulnerability and ignorance to validate themselves on a pretty regular basis, and all you can do is minimize your interactions with said person. The furthest I've gone to saying anything is giving "the look." which is basically the same look I learned in 3rd grade that at the time meant, "if you say one more thing about my mom i'm gonna kick your ass!" And of course, as a third-year i was bluffing..

Do not retaliate to passive-aggressiveness, it can only end bad for you. I know that all your coordinators say stuff like, "We want to protect students from being abused" and blah blah blah. it's BS. None of them mean anything, even if you're totally in the right the only thing that will happen is a meeting with you, the resident, and some attending; it will be your word against theirs and even if you are very polite and coherent, a bad letter will probably end up in your file. c'est la vie.