GF and I will both be applying for med schools... What to do

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jarede312

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My girlfriend and I will both be applying to med schools in a year. We've been dating for over 2 years and our relationship is pretty serious. Anyone have any advice because it would suck if we got into different schools and had to live far apart for four or more years...
 
Unfortunately, I doubt med schools will consider your plight unless the two of you are at least engaged. Whether or not you want to lie and say you are (or actually get engaged) is up to you. Even then, I'm not sure you'll meet too much sympathy, given how competitive the admissions process is. If you're both highly qualified, it will probably be a lot easier to convince a school to take both of you.
 
jarede312 said:
My girlfriend and I will both be applying to med schools in a year. We've been dating for over 2 years and our relationship is pretty serious. Anyone have any advice because it would suck if we got into different schools and had to live far apart for four or more years...
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Anyone going to actually answer the question? I just went through this, with her applying to grad school instead of med school, and it can be done. Both of you need to apply broadly, to all your state schools and schools in the region, so that if you do have to go to separate schools you will still be within close driving distance. It's definitely doable, especially if you two have competitive applications. Good luck! :luck:
 
I thought that was the obvious thing to do!
 
Apply to schools that are in places that have a lot of schools. For example, if both of you have competitive applications, I would definitely apply to all schools in and around NYC/Chicago/Boston/etc. Even if you don't get into the same school, maybe you can pick schools where you'll be relatively close by...
 
FluffyRabbit said:
Apply to schools that are in places that have a lot of schools. For example, if both of you have competitive applications, I would definitely apply to all schools in and around NYC/Chicago/Boston/etc. Even if you don't get into the same school, maybe you can pick schools where you'll be relatively close by...
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👍 Definitely a good idea, at least for the metro areas you guys would be willing to live. I didn't want to leave the Midwest, so I applied to all the schools in Chicago, St. Louis, etc. and surrounding states.
 
It helps if you have a state school or two that take a lot of people. It also helps if you both have really competitive applications.

FluffyRabbit said:
Apply to schools that are in places that have a lot of schools. For example, if both of you have competitive applications, I would definitely apply to all schools in and around NYC/Chicago/Boston/etc. Even if you don't get into the same school, maybe you can pick schools where you'll be relatively close by...
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Add the philly and maybe DC areas to this list.
 
please, don't go to the same school. Don't be 'those two.' intraclass couples are bad enough already.
 
FluffyRabbit said:
Apply to schools that are in places that have a lot of schools. For example, if both of you have competitive applications, I would definitely apply to all schools in and around NYC/Chicago/Boston/etc. Even if you don't get into the same school, maybe you can pick schools where you'll be relatively close by...
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Uber-good advice.
 
I don't think adcoms will take this into account.

Apply to lots of schools that are located where lots of other schools are. For example, NYC, Chicago, Boston, LA. That way, if you both get accepted to schools in the same city it's more bearable...

edit: just noticed someone above gave same advice.
 
jarede312 said:
My girlfriend and I will both be applying to med schools in a year. We've been dating for over 2 years and our relationship is pretty serious. Anyone have any advice because it would suck if we got into different schools and had to live far apart for four or more years...
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I notice you live in OK.

If this is really the #1 priority for both of you - being at the same med school, or damn close by - then apply to your state school and it is done.

Not sure what you are looking for here...
 
Knock her up and guilt her into keeping the baby. Then convince her there is no way that she can take care of a child and go to med school at the same time.

Problem solved.
 
FluffyRabbit said:
Apply to schools that are in places that have a lot of schools. For example, if both of you have competitive applications, I would definitely apply to all schools in and around NYC/Chicago/Boston/etc. Even if you don't get into the same school, maybe you can pick schools where you'll be relatively close by...
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This! NYC, Philly, DC/Baltimore, etc. Even if you don't get into the same school you are close.
 
my bf is applying to grad school and I'm applying to med school right now. I had to apply first so I applied all over and everywhere he might possibly want to go to school. Since both of you are doing med, just apply to all the same schools (duh). There really isn't a way to better your odds, you just have to have a good application.

Be ready to deal with only one of you getting into a better school or only one of you getting into the other's top choice. My bf is in love with U of Chicago and although I got accepted to a school in Chicago, I love Iowa (he also got accepted to Iowa). So in theory we could be together, but neither of us wants to sacrifice going to the best school possible for us at this stage in our careers. So we'll most likely end up a couple hours apart, but we're both committed to making it work so it's less of a big deal that i initially thought it would be.

just prepare yourself for all possible outcomes
 
This isn't coming from personal experience, but just my thoughts on things.

The only reason one of you should change plans, go to a different school than you want to, etc. would be if you all plan on getting married. If thats the case, then maybe getting engaged is worth considering so that both of you know that the relationship is coming first and the schooling is second.

On the other hand, if your not to that point yet. You could both apply to schools without the expectation that one of you will make a big sacrifice if things don't line up right. If things work out, then great. But if things don't work out then maybe you will part ways.

Best of luck with the application process
 
I've seen couples that were serious - and decided to turn down other better? acceptances to different med schools - just to be with each other in the same med school.

Then break up couple months into first year.

Don't be like them.
 
I actually think going to separate schools within a commutable distance from each other (<3 hours driving) would be preferable to attending the same school. You can still see each other often but have less distractions and more space to focus on studies. Also if the relationship doesn't work out, you won't be stuck in lectures or small group sections together or have to watch him/her start dating other people from your class.
 
I'm with MiniMoo. Med school is a relationship destroyer like none other, and having to go through it with your ex-whatever would be pretty difficult, to say the least. You'd also likely feel less pressure to be around each other constantly, and one less significant thing to deal with during school is a welcome subtraction.
 
i think u both should apply broadly.. and at the same schools..

there must atleast one school that accepts u both.. then just go there.
 
surftheiop said:
This isn't coming from personal experience, but just my thoughts on things.

The only reason one of you should change plans, go to a different school than you want to, etc. would be if you all plan on getting married. If that's the case, then maybe getting engaged is worth considering so that both of you know that the relationship is coming first and the schooling is second.

On the other hand, if your not to that point yet. You could both apply to schools without the expectation that one of you will make a big sacrifice if things don't line up right. If things work out, then great. But if things don't work out then maybe you will part ways.

Best of luck with the application process
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I second this advice,... from personal experience.
 
we have 2 married couples were both individuals is an MSI at my school... one of which the wife got accepted early and the husband got accepted about a week before orientation- once one of you get accepted start talking to the adcom about the other...

Another option is both applying ED to your state school and then going broader if that doesn't work- but if you are trying to save money it's something to consider.

Remember that there is a couples match so even if you end up at seperate schools (even in the same area) if you are still serious by the time residency comes up you can match together.
 
jarede312 said:
My girlfriend and I will both be applying to med schools in a year. We've been dating for over 2 years and our relationship is pretty serious. Anyone have any advice because it would suck if we got into different schools and had to live far apart for four or more years...
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Worrying about this problem three months before you can even submit AMCAS is just a tad premature. Why don't you both apply and see where you both get in (assuming both of you do get in), and THEN you can worry about how to handle the distance thing (assuming it's even an issue at that point). One step at a time, man, one step at a time.
 
I agree with the previous posters about looking for "high medschool density" areas that you can both be competitive for.

Failing that, start looking at cities with major airline hubs and good flight connections. 🙄

CCLCMer said:
Worrying about this problem three months before you can even submit AMCAS is just a tad premature. Why don't you both apply and see where you both get in (assuming both of you do get in), and THEN you can worry about how to handle the distance thing (assuming it's even an issue at that point). One step at a time, man, one step at a time.
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I don't think it's premature at all. Selecting which schools and locations they're both competitive for is entirely relevant to submitting AMCAS. 😕
 
Dianyla said:
I don't think it's premature at all. Selecting which schools and locations they're both competitive for is entirely relevant to submitting AMCAS. 😕
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Because if one or both of them doesn't get into med school, there's no need to worry about being at med schools in different cities. And if they both get into the same school (or into schools that are close to each other), then again, there's no need to worry about this. And if they do get into schools in two different cities on opposite ends of the country but they're not dating each other any more, there's no need to worry about this. That's a lot of hypothetical bridges to cross before reaching the point where you need to start a thread asking what to do about this currently nonexistent (and maybe never existent) problem!

Seriously, this isn't rocket science. If two people want to end up at the same school, they should apply to the same schools, or to different schools in the same areas like everyone else already said. Things may work out beautifully where they can both attend the University of Oklahoma or something, and then doesn't this thread seem pretty silly? When I first read the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about two people who were already accepted to two different schools that were far away from each other and wanted advice on how to make it work. I missed the part at first that it was from a guy whose girlfriend and him haven't even applied yet.
 
CCLCMer said:
Because if one or both of them doesn't get into med school, there's no need to worry about being at med schools in different cities. And if they both get into the same school (or into schools that are close to each other), then again, there's no need to worry about this. And if they do get into schools in two different cities on opposite ends of the country but they're not dating each other any more, there's no need to worry about this. That's a lot of hypothetical bridges to cross before reaching the point where you need to start a thread asking what to do about this currently nonexistent (and maybe never existent) problem!
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But which bridges they cross depend on which roads they choose to take.

CCLCMer said:
When I first read the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about two people who were already accepted to two different schools that were far away from each other and wanted advice on how to make it work. I missed the part at first that it was from a guy whose girlfriend and him haven't even applied yet.
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Are you sure you read the thread title? I dunno about you, but "GF and I will both be applying for med schools..." very firmly evokes the sensation of "future application" not "accepted already" in my brain. 🙄
 
Dianyla said:
But which bridges they cross depend on which roads they choose to take.
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Do you have any better suggestions that no one else has mentioned yet beyond "apply to the same schools and schools in the same area?" I'm not being sarcastic. This answer is just common sense, which is why we're all giving the same advice.

Are you sure you read the thread title? I dunno about you, but "GF and I will both be applying for med schools..." very firmly evokes the sensation of "future application" not "accepted already" in my brain. 🙄
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Hence why I said:
CCLCMer said:
When I first read the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about two people who were already accepted to two different schools that were far away from each other and wanted advice on how to make it work. I missed the part at first that it was from a guy whose girlfriend and him haven't even applied yet.
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I'll grant that I misread the title at first, but you clearly also misread my post. Guess we could both use some better sensations evoked in our brains if we read a little slower, huh. 😉
 
CCLCMer said:
Do you have any better suggestions that no one else has mentioned yet beyond "apply to the same schools and schools in the same area?" I'm not being sarcastic. This answer is just common sense, which is why we're all giving the same advice.
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Yes, I did have one extra suggestion beyond that, about considering airline routes. For example if one of them can get into school near Cincinnati and the other can get in in SLC or Atlanta, they'll have tons of frequent non-stop flights on Delta as those are major hubs. Similarly, Denver/Chicago on United. If you're looking at 4 years in an LDR, these kinds of logistics make a huge difference in how frequently and easily you can afford to visit eachother.
CCLCMer said:
I'll grant that I misread the title at first, but you clearly also misread my post. Guess we could both use some better sensations evoked in our brains if we read a little slower, huh. 😉
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Fair enough! 😉
 
seriously after being in med school for a good 6 mths now, don't feel bad if you can't be in the same school, see it as a chance to make new friends. the intraclass couple we have is so freak' isolated, they only hang out with each other, and then they wonder why they have no clue why we say med school is so fun!
 
Muffinpuff said:
seriously after being in med school for a good 6 mths now, don't feel bad if you can't be in the same school, see it as a chance to make new friends. the intraclass couple we have is so freak' isolated, they only hang out with each other, and then they wonder why they have no clue why we say med school is so fun!
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This is precisely why I do not want to meet a guy until I'm at least a ways into school. Well, and also so I get good grades... Relationships are so distracting!
 
Apply as broadly as you can, but realize that things may not work out (and prepare accordingly). My g/f and I applied to approximately 25 schools each (with all schools being the same except for our respective state schools); we ended up only getting acceptances at our state schools.

Just recognize that it make take an extra bit of sacrifice from both of you, as my girlfriend and I are having to do.
 
Most long distance relationships between unmarried couples will not survive med school. That is the harsh truth. My long distance relationship ended during Christmas break of my first year of med school. But it worked out fine. I have a new girl friend who lives in the city where I attend med school.
 
Every one has their own experiences. I have been in a long distance relationship for two years and it has been going well. We both started off living in California, and were together for a year prior and though she tried to get in to a California medical school, but it did not work out so she headed to Syracuse. She's now a second year medical student. I will be applying to medical school for the Fall of 2012; the year she starts her residency and we plan to apply broadly and try to end up in the same location (that's all you can go). If this all goes according to plan the engagement will be in 2012. We will have essentially have spent four years apart, but it all works out in the end.


searun said:
Most long distance relationships between unmarried couples will not survive med school. That is the harsh truth. My long distance relationship ended during Christmas break of my first year of med school. But it worked out fine. I have a new girl friend who lives in the city where I attend med school.
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mspeedwagon said:
Every one has their own experiences. I have been in a long distance relationship for two years and it has been going well. We both started off living in California, and were together for a year prior and though she tried to get in to a California medical school, but it did not work out so she headed to Syracuse. She's now a second year medical student. I will be applying to medical school for the Fall of 2012; the year she starts her residency and we plan to apply broadly and try to end up in the same location (that's all you can go). If this all goes according to plan the engagement will be in 2012. We will have essentially have spent four years apart, but it all works out in the end.
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I am glad that things are working out for you. I did not say that it is impossible for a long distance relationship to survive med school. It has just been my experience based upon personal observation that most of these relationships do not make it. There are exceptions and your relationship appears to be one of the exceptions.

Realistically, the odds for most couples are not good.
 
Dianyla said:
Yes, I did have one extra suggestion beyond that, about considering airline routes. For example if one of them can get into school near Cincinnati and the other can get in in SLC or Atlanta, they'll have tons of frequent non-stop flights on Delta as those are major hubs. Similarly, Denver/Chicago on United. If you're looking at 4 years in an LDR, these kinds of logistics make a huge difference in how frequently and easily you can afford to visit eachother.
Click to expand...

Flying hub to hub might be more convenient but a lot of times it's more expensive (especially with Delta).

We used to fly between Utah and Ohio (for family and work reasons) all the time but the only times we flew out of CVG (Cincinnati airport) was when we got it paid for through work, otherwise we usually connected through CVG on to CMH (Columbus, 90min drive) or SDF (Louisville, 2hr drive) since it was $100-200 cheaper even though we were on the exact same flight between SLC and CVG. Airline pricing is very screwed up.
 
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