Girlfriend issues

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MSn00b

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I was just wondering if you guys have had similar experiences. My current girlfriend of half year has really gotten into her major and has been just spending hours at the library (she is not premed). She is a year younger, and she just seems stressed all the time, everytime I see her and pick her up from the library she's in a bad mood and is just stressed about everything. I've been cooking for her a lot and making lots of time to see her.

We love each other, but I am not sure next year if I go to med school she would be the supportive girlfriend that I want to have. And we've talked about all this she always says next semster will be easier and I'll have more time but it hasn't been like that. Am I being super selfish and want too much? she says she's been a bad girlfriend but hasn't done anything to change that. Is this something we just need to work through? I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with their significant other, and does it get better? Thanks!
 
Talk to her about it and see what she thinks. None of us are relationship professionals, so if you want real advice see a counselor. You don't seem harsh or irrational, but maybe she is having a tough time with her time management. If she doesn't appreciate you then it's a whole different issue. I cannot say that I have had exactly the same issues, but the best advice I have ever gotten is that if you can see yourself living without her then you don't belong together and if you cannot see yourself living without her then you should stay with her.
 
I advise you to impregnate her, and then pressure her to drop out. This will free up time. Remind her that, in the end, it's about the baby😍.

Then if you're still not feeling it, just bail

muwahahahahahahahaha.
muwaahahahahahaha.
muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
:boom::boom::boom:

:spam::troll::highfive:
 
Satan said:
I advise you to impregnate her, and then pressure her to drop out. This will free up time. Remind her that, in the end, it's about the baby😍.

Then if you're still not feeling it, just bail

muwahahahahahahahaha.
muwaahahahahahaha.
muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
:boom::boom::boom:

:spam::troll::highfive:
Click to expand...


Sound advice... You obviously take the OP very seriously
 
Satan said:
I advise you to impregnate her, and then pressure her to drop out. This will free up time. Remind her that, in the end, it's about the baby😍.

Then if you're still not feeling it, just bail

muwahahahahahahahaha.
muwaahahahahahaha.
muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
:boom::boom::boom:

:spam::troll::highfive:
Click to expand...
Wow
 
First, and I don't mean to be the skeptic, but you've only been dating for six months. If both of you take the relationship seriously, then you'll work through it. At least she recognizes that she's not being the best partner, so I guess count that as a victory. Don't be surprised if some people just don't want to work through a relationship in college. I know several people that take this attitude (or realize it after they're in a relationship).

It doesn't sound like you're being selfish, but at the same time, understand people deal with stress differently and must put forth more or less effort for school. In other words, what may not be very stressful and time-consuming for you may be the opposite for her.

There are times where my girlfriend of three years and I don't get to talk very much since we're both incredibly busy. She also goes to a different university. Eventually, you get to the point where you do the best with what you can. Unfortunately it won't be perfect no matter what the circumstances. Don't stress; if she says she loves you, trust her and do the best you can.
 
everyone has a hard semester now and then. Maybe she's struggling and you need to listen to her and find out the root of the problem.
If you guys are actually serious you'll make it work.

But FYI if you're headed off to med school, you're going to be the one who doesn't have a lot of time for her next year so i suggest you be understanding now because you'll need her to be next year. you both need to figure out how/if you want to prepare for that.
 
MSn00b said:
I was just wondering if you guys have had similar experiences. My current girlfriend of half year has really gotten into her major and has been just spending hours at the library (she is not premed). She is a year younger, and she just seems stressed all the time, everytime I see her and pick her up from the library she's in a bad mood and is just stressed about everything. I've been cooking for her a lot and making lots of time to see her.

We love each other, but I am not sure next year if I go to med school she would be the supportive girlfriend that I want to have. And we've talked about all this she always says next semster will be easier and I'll have more time but it hasn't been like that. Am I being super selfish and want too much? she says she's been a bad girlfriend but hasn't done anything to change that. Is this something we just need to work through? I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with their significant other, and does it get better? Thanks!
Click to expand...

If you are serious, then your relationship was warped from the get-go. Let me guess, she is your first girlfriend right? You started off on the wrong-foot and it went downhill fast. Be a man, kick her to the curb(stomp), and grow the hell up lol!
 
It isn't like you have been together for years. Girls are everywhere. You'll find another.
And you don't love each other after 6 months.
 
Dude, I sure hope she's hot... You're going to be a doctor someday right? So how about realize that there are a lot of hot nurses and other hospital staff to come in the next few years that will drool over a new med grad.

Six Months.... bah!
 
Thanks for the advice guys. I will talk to her and make sure we can work through this, I guess if we can't get through this then how would we get through first year of med school....

jvesco22 said:
If you are serious, then your relationship was warped from the get-go. Let me guess, she is your first girlfriend right? You started off on the wrong-foot and it went downhill fast. Be a man, kick her to the curb(stomp), and grow the hell up lol!
Click to expand...

what do you mean?
 
So you're upset because you've had to be supportive of a girlfriend going through a tough time? You also want a supportive girlfriend during medical school. Or maybe it's more important have support than to give it? Honestly, if you're not willing to give support, don't expect it either. Please don't fall into the relationship trap of assuming you should be the center of the universe all the time because you're going to medical school. Sometimes your significant other needs to be the center of the universe for a while instead. Your girlfriend said that next semester would be better, but you've only been together 6 months, so you've had at most one semester change. Either give her a chance or tell her that things aren't going to work.
 
elektroshok said:
It isn't like you have been together for years. Girls are everywhere. You'll find another.
And you don't love each other after 6 months.
Click to expand...

thats not a fair assessment...i was in love with my significant other before we were even dating (we were best friends for about 2 years prior, but hey, we've been together for more than 2 years since then as well)
 
MSn00b said:
I was just wondering if you guys have had similar experiences. My current girlfriend of half year has really gotten into her major and has been just spending hours at the library (she is not premed). She is a year younger, and she just seems stressed all the time, everytime I see her and pick her up from the library she's in a bad mood and is just stressed about everything. I've been cooking for her a lot and making lots of time to see her.

We love each other, but I am not sure next year if I go to med school she would be the supportive girlfriend that I want to have. And we've talked about all this she always says next semster will be easier and I'll have more time but it hasn't been like that. Am I being super selfish and want too much? she says she's been a bad girlfriend but hasn't done anything to change that. Is this something we just need to work through? I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with their significant other, and does it get better? Thanks!
Click to expand...

I suggest you tell her that yes, she is being a terrible girlfriend and break down her self-esteem. After demolishing your poor significant other's self-worth, your guilt will lead you into a downward spiral of jealousy and paranoia. You won't let her out of your sight, nor will you be able to be around her. You'll begin drinking and arguing over her leaving the ironing board out. You'll fail out of medical school and spend time "flipping" houses which never sell in between your alcohol induced feuds. You'll whistle for a cab and when it comes near the license plate says fresh and it has dice in the mirror. If anything i can say this cab is rare but you thought naw forget it yo homes to Bel Air. You pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and yelled to the cabyo homes smell ya later. Looked at your kingdom, you was finally there to sit on your throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
 
Mackey said:
I suggest you tell her that yes, she is being a terrible girlfriend and break down her self-esteem. After demolishing your poor significant other's self-worth, your guilt will lead you into a downward spiral of jealousy and paranoia. You won't let her out of your sight, nor will you be able to be around here. You'll begin drinking and arguing over her leaving the ironing board out. You'll fail out of medical school and spend time "flipping" houses which never sell in between your alcohol induced feuds. You'll whistle for a cab and when it comes near the license plate says fresh and it has dice in the mirror. If anything i can say this cab is rare but you thought naw forget it yo homes to Bel Air. You pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and yelled to the cabyo homes smell ya later. Looked at your kingdom, you was finally there to sit on your throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
Click to expand...

this post has made ME delirious and confused
 
Mackey said:
I suggest you tell her that yes, she is being a terrible girlfriend and break down her self-esteem. After demolishing your poor significant other's self-worth, your guilt will lead you into a downward spiral of jealousy and paranoia. You won't let her out of your sight, nor will you be able to be around her. You'll begin drinking and arguing over her leaving the ironing board out. You'll fail out of medical school and spend time "flipping" houses which never sell in between your alcohol induced feuds. You'll whistle for a cab and when it comes near the license plate says fresh and it has dice in the mirror. If anything i can say this cab is rare but you thought naw forget it yo homes to Bel Air. You pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and yelled to the cabyo homes smell ya later. Looked at your kingdom, you was finally there to sit on your throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
Click to expand...

Carlton!
 
do you guys live together now? will you be living together when you're in medical school? if you're unsure of your relationship, you need to make sure that you can easily separate if things don't work out. as cold as this might sound, you don't want to be dealing with a breakup while you already have to worry about studying and whatnot.
 
Mackey said:
Thats how I like to leave them.
Click to expand...

in that case, please continue. its certainly an upgrade from fatigued and uninterested (due to the terrible lecturing skills possessed by my professor)
 
ThaliaNox said:
So you're upset because you've had to be supportive of a girlfriend going through a tough time? You also want a supportive girlfriend during medical school. Or maybe it's more important have support than to give it? Honestly, if you're not willing to give support, don't expect it either. Please don't fall into the relationship trap of assuming you should be the center of the universe all the time because you're going to medical school. Sometimes your significant other needs to be the center of the universe for a while instead. Your girlfriend said that next semester would be better, but you've only been together 6 months, so you've had at most one semester change. Either give her a chance or tell her that things aren't going to work.
Click to expand...

You do have a point there, I shouldn't be the center of the universe, and haven't been that way, I've been treating her as if she is actually, the thing is I see her already forming a habit of solving problems by calling it out, and then doing nothing else, for some reason she thinks that saying she's been a terrible girlfriend (but doing nothing about it) solves the problem. I guess I don't know if she really appreciates me or not, even though she says she does, her actions don't follow
 
1) Don't listen to anything a girl says on this topic

2) You're not doing anything wrong right now

3) Don't preemptively end something because you think it might not work in the future. You're thinking it might be though when you're in med school, you've probably told her this (if you haven't then you should). But you're not in med school yet. Cross this bridge when you get there.
 
elektroshok said:
It isn't like you have been together for years. Girls are everywhere. You'll find another.
And you don't love each other after 6 months.
Click to expand...

You must not have a decent understanding of what it means to be in love if you think its an emotion that takes "at least 6 months" to develop.
 
Well put Cheetah, in my experience love doesn't follow a standard time on incubation before it hatches...it just sorta happens.

As for relationship advice, trying to get good advice after a paragraph of background info is just asking for trouble. Are you honestly gonna take action based on what anonymous posters say on a Student Doctor Forum, or are you gonna do what you feel is right?
 
CofCpreMD said:
Are you honestly gonna take action based on what anonymous posters say on a Student Doctor Forum, or are you gonna do what you feel is right?
Click to expand...

He should definitely listen to us. Do you know how smart we all are?
 
We need pics of the gf in order to give advice.
 
ThaliaNox said:
So you're upset because you've had to be supportive of a girlfriend going through a tough time? You also want a supportive girlfriend during medical school. Or maybe it's more important have support than to give it? Honestly, if you're not willing to give support, don't expect it either. Please don't fall into the relationship trap of assuming you should be the center of the universe all the time because you're going to medical school. Sometimes your significant other needs to be the center of the universe for a while instead. Your girlfriend said that next semester would be better, but you've only been together 6 months, so you've had at most one semester change. Either give her a chance or tell her that things aren't going to work.
Click to expand...

MSn00b said:
You do have a point there, I shouldn't be the center of the universe, and haven't been that way, I've been treating her as if she is actually, the thing is I see her already forming a habit of solving problems by calling it out, and then doing nothing else, for some reason she thinks that saying she's been a terrible girlfriend (but doing nothing about it) solves the problem. I guess I don't know if she really appreciates me or not, even though she says she does, her actions don't follow
Click to expand...

The problem I see is that even though in theory they are in a relationship, it seems only the OP is actually spending any effort to make it work. Sure, your GF is having some issues, but she should at least try. Saying "I'm a terrible girlfriend" doesn't solve the problem, although it means she's aware of it - but the worst part is that if her actions don't follow, then it's a conscious decision not to do anything about it.

I'm fine with giving more than receiving, but it gets frustrating when I'm the only one giving.
 
Demonstrate your value
Engage physically
Nurture dependence
Neglect emotionally
Inspire hope
Separate entirely

Actually, it kinda sounds like SHE'S dennising YOU.
 
MSn00b said:
I was just wondering if you guys have had similar experiences. My current girlfriend of half year has really gotten into her major and has been just spending hours at the library (she is not premed). She is a year younger, and she just seems stressed all the time, everytime I see her and pick her up from the library she's in a bad mood and is just stressed about everything. I've been cooking for her a lot and making lots of time to see her.

We love each other, but I am not sure next year if I go to med school she would be the supportive girlfriend that I want to have. And we've talked about all this she always says next semster will be easier and I'll have more time but it hasn't been like that. Am I being super selfish and want too much? she says she's been a bad girlfriend but hasn't done anything to change that. Is this something we just need to work through? I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with their significant other, and does it get better? Thanks!
Click to expand...

Does she knows that medical school takes 4 years to finish? What about next year?? And the year after that?

Who spend hours at the library beside premed? this is news to me and my school. Business kids party after every class.
 
hamiltonian, do you do ironmen?

are you going to do louisville?
 
locus000 said:
Does she knows that medical school takes 4 years to finish? What about next year?? And the year after that?

Who spend hours at the library beside premed? this is news to me and my school. Business kids party after very class.
Click to expand...

Engineers, theoretical physicists, and mathematicians just as some examples. In fact, if you take your studies seriously enough, any one can spend hours in the library.

On the other hand, even premeds have time to go out and do something fun once in a while... spending ALL her time in the library is abnormal no matter what her major/goal is.
 
MSn00b said:
I was just wondering if you guys have had similar experiences. My current girlfriend of half year has really gotten into her major and has been just spending hours at the library (she is not premed). She is a year younger, and she just seems stressed all the time, everytime I see her and pick her up from the library she's in a bad mood and is just stressed about everything. I've been cooking for her a lot and making lots of time to see her.

We love each other, but I am not sure next year if I go to med school she would be the supportive girlfriend that I want to have. And we've talked about all this she always says next semster will be easier and I'll have more time but it hasn't been like that. Am I being super selfish and want too much? she says she's been a bad girlfriend but hasn't done anything to change that. Is this something we just need to work through? I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with their significant other, and does it get better? Thanks!
Click to expand...

If Med School had wanted you to have a girlfriend, they would have issued you one.

Just kidding. You aren't dealing with anything inherently unique to Med School. It's just the norm when two people are on different career paths that have boxes that need to be checked off. There isn't a "Med School" specific answer to the problem, the only answer is trying to work around each others schedules and be sympathetic to the stresses and demands placed on each of you. (As opposed too; "what she is doing isn't has hard/important/relevant as what I am doing."

If it doesn't work out, it's just a sign that it probably wouldn't have worked out in the long run. After Med School it's always going to be one thing or the other.

If it does work out, you'll have perspective and experience to deal with future challenges.

That's just my experience. My wife is currently a Law Student so I get where you are coming from.
 
8125_136944413595_136943233595_2641070_7286494_n.jpg
 

haha

love it

i told my girlfriend once when i was a bit inebriated (i.e. completely plastered) that i cared more about money than i cared about her...i think she took this rather harsh, but to be honest...its only half true😀
 
morning said:
Demonstrate your value
Engage physically
Nurture dependence
Neglect emotionally
Inspire hope
Separate entirely

Actually, it kinda sounds like SHE'S dennising YOU.
Click to expand...

Hahahaha. Oh Sunny.
 
Hamiltonian said:
1) Don't listen to anything a girl says on this topic

2) You're not doing anything wrong right now

3) Don't preemptively end something because you think it might not work in the future. You're thinking it might be though when you're in med school, you've probably told her this (if you haven't then you should). But you're not in med school yet. Cross this bridge when you get there.
Click to expand...

Agreed to 3)

CofCpreMD said:
Well put Cheetah, in my experience love doesn't follow a standard time on incubation before it hatches...it just sorta happens.

As for relationship advice, trying to get good advice after a paragraph of background info is just asking for trouble. Are you honestly gonna take action based on what anonymous posters say on a Student Doctor Forum, or are you gonna do what you feel is right?
Click to expand...

I'm listening to opinions and similar experiences, not like I'm gonna take an annoynmous poster's advice and apply to life

locus000 said:
Does she knows that medical school takes 4 years to finish? What about next year?? And the year after that?

Who spend hours at the library beside premed? this is news to me and my school. Business kids party after every class.
Click to expand...
Chemistry
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hamiltonian
1) Don't listen to anything a girl says on this topic

2) You're not doing anything wrong right now

3) Don't preemptively end something because you think it might not work in the future. You're thinking it might be though when you're in med school, you've probably told her this (if you haven't then you should). But you're not in med school yet. Cross this bridge when you get there.

Agreed to 3)

Agree to 1). NEVER listen to what a girl says she wants. she most likely has no idea.
 
He2 said:
Quote:
Agree to 1). NEVER listen to what a girl says she wants. she most likely has no idea.
Click to expand...

agreed...i havent met a girl yet who is not confused..and ive had many female friends and girlfriends..they act as they know exactly what they want but in reality they dont..they'll say one thing but then do the exact opposite..its hard to find a girl whose words matches her actions

i know these are all blanket statements..its exaggerated..but there is a bit of truth to it LOL
 
Last edited:
lol. I scroll my window to the right to block the avatars...im also getting work done here....

in general, I think women become more wise as they age, since they learn the difference between confidence and bravado. One is genuine, the other is just bs. They bs detector is not inherent, it takes time to develop.
 
MSn00b said:
I was just wondering if you guys have had similar experiences. My current girlfriend of half year has really gotten into her major and has been just spending hours at the library (she is not premed). She is a year younger, and she just seems stressed all the time, everytime I see her and pick her up from the library she's in a bad mood and is just stressed about everything. I've been cooking for her a lot and making lots of time to see her.

We love each other, but I am not sure next year if I go to med school she would be the supportive girlfriend that I want to have. And we've talked about all this she always says next semster will be easier and I'll have more time but it hasn't been like that. Am I being super selfish and want too much? she says she's been a bad girlfriend but hasn't done anything to change that. Is this something we just need to work through? I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with their significant other, and does it get better? Thanks!
Click to expand...
I'll be honest, I saw this thread and was like "wtf why would someone ask for GF advice on SDN, worst place for advice ever" but then I looked at the question.
I was in the EXACT same situation, dating a girl a year younger, applying to med, she got all into her non-premed major, etc.. and she would be stressed out all the time, which pissed me off because I'd have things that would be really stressful that I'd be dealing with and she'd stress over a joke class quiz all the time. If it's not working now, it's not going to work out in the future. I dragged it out for a bit until we finally had to pull the plug on it. We had dated for years but it became that situation that you described and it's hard to do but in my situation, it just compounded and got worse.
 
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