Girlfriend issues

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you want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
 
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gatorsniper17 said:
I'll be honest, I saw this thread and was like "wtf why would someone ask for GF advice on SDN, worst place for advice ever" but then I looked at the question.
I was in the EXACT same situation, dating a girl a year younger, applying to med, she got all into her non-premed major, etc.. and she would be stressed out all the time, which pissed me off because I'd have things that would be really stressful that I'd be dealing with and she'd stress over a joke class quiz all the time. If it's not working now, it's not going to work out in the future. I dragged it out for a bit until we finally had to pull the plug on it. We had dated for years but it became that situation that you described and it's hard to do but in my situation, it just compounded and got worse.
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Stress is relative. To the Marines getting shot at in Afghanistan, your Organic test is a "joke".

From an old bastard's perspective, marriages and relationships fail when one of the partners makes it all about them.
 
Mackey said:
I suggest you tell her that yes, she is being a terrible girlfriend and break down her self-esteem. After demolishing your poor significant other's self-worth, your guilt will lead you into a downward spiral of jealousy and paranoia. You won't let her out of your sight, nor will you be able to be around her. You'll begin drinking and arguing over her leaving the ironing board out. You'll fail out of medical school and spend time "flipping" houses which never sell in between your alcohol induced feuds. You'll whistle for a cab and when it comes near the license plate says fresh and it has dice in the mirror. If anything i can say this cab is rare but you thought naw forget it yo homes to Bel Air. You pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and yelled to the cabyo homes smell ya later. Looked at your kingdom, you was finally there to sit on your throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
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i'm considering making this my signature.

edit: i am making this my signature
 
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Just make sure she won't tell you she hates you the night before you take your MCAT. :(
 
Agtongue said:
Just make sure she won't tell you she hates you the night before you take your MCAT. :(
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Haha the guy's going to med school next year...or are you hinting that happend to you
 
You probably worked hard to get into med school. Don't be a typical misogynist and judge her simply for doing what you did (assuming this is the case)
 
Whoa I swear I saw a combatwombat somewhere before.
 
I had a girlfriend for 3-4 years on/off. It started back in high school where she was unhappy there and I was away at school. She didn't understand the pre-med/college course load I had and that I was away at school and couldn't sit on the phone and chit-chat all day. Well she then got to college and acted like her work load was just as tough as mine and that I'm just a cheater (which I was). Anyway, now that I'm about done with college, I still talk to her - shes had a boyfriend for a year or so and still whines like she has all this intense work, but now at least she respects all the work I did to get into school. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but moral of the story, don't get a girlfriend until you are settled down in one place. I am a strong believer in this now - not that if I found the perfect girl and all worked well I wouldn't do it, but long distance relationships with people while your in med school or undergrad don't work. There are too many other things going on around you besides school work to sit at home and bs with your girlfriend. Also as a male I don't know how you wouldn't cheat on your girlfriend while your knee-deep in the **** and stressed out while shes off prancing through flowers somewhere else, we're biologically made to do so.

Sorry I don't know if this even has to do with the OP's original post, but nonetheless good advice :thumbup:
 
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Satan said:
I advise you to impregnate her, and then pressure her to drop out. This will free up time. Remind her that, in the end, it's about the baby:love:.

Then if you're still not feeling it, just bail

muwahahahahahahahaha.
muwaahahahahahaha.
muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
:boom::boom::boom:

:spam::troll::highfive:
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Does this count as having a false SDN identity? Or is that all relative? I mean, he's claiming to be Satan...but is he REALLY Satan? Seems like a violation of the ToS.

And what does Jesus have to say about this? :p
 
I'm surprised at most of the advice you've been given. I'm guessing some of the people replying to you probably don't have much relationship experience.

Anyway, from a girls perspective....I've been in similar situations. My first boyfriend was a compsci major (while I was premed). He was really struggling in his classes, and was always stressed out and irritable. From my understanding, it was his time management that was the problem (also, he was very rigid...like if he didn't get a good night's sleep or missed a work out, he would FREAK out like it was the end of the world). He would cancel on me last minute because of homework, and didn't even take me to my formal because he had a project due the next day. It annoyed me that he couldn't seem to handle his life and was always complaining about school (I NEVER talk about school stress). He ended up dumping me because he said he didn't have time to date...but after we broke up, he ended up flunking two classes anyway and wanted to get back together.

Look, people handle stress differently, and it can be easy to get annoyed with someone, especially when you work so hard yourself. It seems like you are being quite supportive (cooking for her and what not). Talk to her and try to find out what the issue is. Is she upset that you don't have time for her? Is she anxious about what will happen if you move away next year? There may be an underlying issue or insecurity you need to resolve. If she's just stressed over school and taking it out on you, make it clear to her that it's not acceptable for her to use you as a punching bag. Tell her that you feel like she's always pissed off when you're around, and that upsets you and puts you in a bad mood. You want her to be happy and smile when you're there (within reason...if she's legitimately upset over something, she shouldn't hide it) so you feel that she's appreciating the time you spend together. Encourage her to put her stress aside for a few hours and just have fun with you. Use lots of 'I feel' statements rather than 'you do this' accusations.

As for worrying about next year...my advice is to just not think about it. When I was with my last boyfriend, I drove myself crazy worrying and worrying about what would happen when I got into med school and had to move away. Would he come with me? Would we do long distance? Would our relationship survive? It was constantly on my mind, and it was starting to give me anxiety attacks. It was a huge strain on our relationship, and we ended up breaking up anyway, so all that mental anguish was for nothing. Now, with my new boyfriend...we'll vaguely discuss the future, but I'm not sitting around stressing about the logistics or the what-ifs. I'm just enjoying what we have now, and I've decided to have faith that we can work through whatever happens in the future.

Good luck! And waiting until you're settled in your career before dating is sort of a stupid idea. How long are you going to wait? Until you're in med school? Finished med school? Finished residency? Finished your fellowships? Finished paying off your student debts? You could be waiting *years*. Do you really want to have spent all of your twenties single? You don't really want to be entering the dating market in your thirties with no relationship experience. Not to mention, that's a pretty boring and lonely time ahead of you.
 
thelionfish said:
......
Good luck! And waiting until you're settled in your career before dating is sort of a stupid idea. How long are you going to wait? Until you're in med school? Finished med school? Finished residency? Finished your fellowships? Finished paying off your student debts? You could be waiting *years*. Do you really want to have spent all of your twenties single? You don't really want to be entering the dating market in your thirties with no relationship experience. Not to mention, that's a pretty boring and lonely time ahead of you.
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lol you make it sound like its essential to be in a relationship
 
MSn00b said:
I was just wondering if you guys have had similar experiences. My current girlfriend of half year has really gotten into her major and has been just spending hours at the library (she is not premed). She is a year younger, and she just seems stressed all the time, everytime I see her and pick her up from the library she's in a bad mood and is just stressed about everything. I've been cooking for her a lot and making lots of time to see her.

We love each other, but I am not sure next year if I go to med school she would be the supportive girlfriend that I want to have. And we've talked about all this she always says next semster will be easier and I'll have more time but it hasn't been like that. Am I being super selfish and want too much? she says she's been a bad girlfriend but hasn't done anything to change that. Is this something we just need to work through? I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with their significant other, and does it get better? Thanks!
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drop that H*E
 
elektroshok said:
lol you make it sound like its essential to be in a relationship
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Of course it's not essential to be in a relationship, but spending an entire decade of your life abstaining from relationships doesn't sound like much fun either. Especially when that decade is your 20s, the peak of your youth, looks, sex drive, etc. Plus, since I'm not down with random hook-ups and casual sex, my options are either to stay celibate (is that even an option?) or invest the time and effort to date. Clearly, I prefer the latter.
 
thelionfish said:
Of course it's not essential to be in a relationship, but spending an entire decade of your life abstaining from relationships doesn't sound like much fun either. Especially when that decade is your 20s, the peak of your youth, looks, sex drive, etc. Plus, since I'm not down with random hook-ups and casual sex, my options are either to stay celibate (is that even an option?) or invest the time and effort to date. Clearly, I prefer the latter.
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awwwww :( what a kiljoy. i don't understand why though? :confused:
 
curbye said:
also, contrary to what logic may tell you, double wrapping does not, in fact, protect you twice as much.
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the added friction from 2 raincoats increases the risk of a hole in the protection.
 
msb1190 said:
the added friction from 2 raincoats increases the risk of a hole in the protection.
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this is unlike when you are in the lab and handling dangerous materials so you put on two pairs of gloves. that's okay.

see, you (OP) don't even need a gf. just someone who shares your POV on life and logical protection.


vital information for the OP.
 
Seriously, without the Fresh Prince lyrics, this thread would be a crazy waste of space...

Sorry the relationship is having trouble. I'm a relationship cynic myself - that's what 5 yrs. of marriage does for you. :eyebrow:
 
Melicopter said:
Seriously, without the Fresh Prince lyrics, this thread would be a crazy waste of space...

Sorry the relationship is having trouble. I'm a relationship cynic myself - that's what 5 yrs. of marriage does for you. :eyebrow:
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When your parents, as well as most of your friends parents are all divorced, relationships (marriage especially) just don't seem that appealing.

On the bright side, how could you throw a divorce party without divorce?

divorce-party.jpg
 
chman said:
When your parents, as well as most of your friends parents are all divorced, relationships (marriage especially) just don't seem that appealing.

On the bright side, how could you throw a divorce party without divorce?

divorce-party.jpg
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capitalism at its finest
 
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