going into ob/gyn

[pirate87]

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Hi! I don't know if this is the best place to post this post or if there was one similar to this. I have already done a search and came up with nothing similar. But here's my question:
I am thinking about going into obstetrics/gynecology, but my fiancee doesn't like it at all. She doesn't like the idea of me being a women's doctor. Does anyone have any advice in how to approach this situation?
Thanks!

 

[GatorHockeyDoc]

My girlfriend feels the same way as your fiance. I am about to start to start a one day per week preceptorship with an ob/gyn as part of a required course (I'm an M1), although I'm not really considering going into the field. I think if it's something that you want to do, she will learn to deal with it. Try to explain to her from your point of view what the profession entails. Maybe try to emphasize the surgery related aspects more than the papsmearish aspects.

 

[45408]

Just keep your mind open, and tell her you're keeping your mind open. Starting out as a pre-med male with his heart set on OB/GYN is going to come across much differently than a male M4 deciding to apply for an OB/GYN residency. Besides, there's a good chance you'll want to do something else in the long run.

 

[Blade28]

So are you only allowed to specialize in a field in which you will see no naked women? Seems like she has security issues or doesn't understand the role of the physician.

To the OP, what exactly does she have a problem with?

You seeing naked women? Performing breast exams? Pelvic exams/Pap smears?

Is she insecure? Does she have self-image issues? Is she the jealous type?

Or is all this coming out of left field?

Agreed that you will see many naked females as a physician; in addition, I agree with Ice Nine that it's WAY too early to be deciding on a career. Certainly, it's premature to be arguing with your future wife about your future profession!

 

[smq123]

Hi! I don't know if this is the best place to post this post or if there was one similar to this. I have already done a search and came up with nothing similar. But here's my question:
I am thinking about going into obstetrics/gynecology, but my fiancee doesn't like it at all. She doesn't like the idea of me being a women's doctor. Does anyone have any advice in how to approach this situation?
Thanks!

As a doctor, you'll see naked women (or see "naked parts") in a LOT of fields. General surgery, family med, OB/gyn, urology, oncology, ID, radiology, emergency med, psych, internal med, derm - the only specialties where you don't is peds, pathology, or ophtho. Even peds is iffy - adolescent girls are still often seen by pediatricians.

What, in particular, bothers her about OB/gyn? If you know what is really bothering her about it, then you can address those individual concerns. Even if you don't go into OB, these are still issues that she'll have to deal with, no matter what kind of doctor you become.

 

[LadyWolverine]

I am thinking about going into obstetrics/gynecology, but my fiancee doesn't like it at all. She doesn't like the idea of me being a women's doctor. Does anyone have any advice in how to approach this situation?

What exactly does she consider a "women's doctor?" She doesn't want you to work exclusively with women, or with any female patients, period? I would explain to her that women will likely comprise at least half of your patient base (regardless of what specialty you end up in), and that during medical school and beyond, you are going to be seeing, touching, and examining a lot of naked patients, which will include females. Perhaps your fiancee does not realize how seriously the vast, vast majority of doctors take their professional role? You are providing a necessary service, not trying to cop a feel. Maybe she had a negative experience with a doctor in the past? Perhaps she is morally opposed to the services that some (note that I said "some," not all) women's health professionals provide? Could this be a religious or moral or modesty issue?
Even as a first/second year, and certainly as a third/fourth year student, you will be expected to perform exams on female subjects. OB/Gyn is a required rotation at most, if not all, medical schools. If it makes her that uncomfortable, perhaps there is a more insidious reason, and you should ask her why she doesn't trust you to remain professional with your female patients. I would hope that one's future spouse (especially a woman, who personally understands the role of and need for women's doctors) would be more encouraging, especially since it seems like fewer and fewer newly-graduated residents are being drawn to OB/Gyn.
As a woman, I respect and applaud the men who choose to become women's health care providers. I also believe that no student should feel that they have to rule out a certain specialty because their spouse/parent/significant other "doesn't want them to do it," without a very compelling reason.

 

[Blade28]

As a doctor, you'll see naked women (or see "naked parts") in a LOT of fields. General surgery, family med, OB/gyn, urology, oncology, ID, radiology, emergency med, psych, internal med, derm - the only specialties where you don't is peds, pathology, or ophtho. Even peds is iffy - adolescent girls are still often seen by pediatricians.

I should add that in many pathology residencies, the residents may perform fine-needle aspirations or core needle biopsies on female patients with suspected breast cancer. So they deal with sensitive female areas as well.

 

[DoctaJay]

You can comfort her by letting her know that most of your patients won't want you to be their doctor anyway 🙂.

Sorry, but I had a bad OB rejection experience.

Honestly though, I'm sure that your mind will change so much after 3rd year rotations that you won't even consider it. As a married man myself, I like the advice of saving arguments for when they'll actually matter (i.e- 4th year as you are planning to go on interviews).

 

[Miami_med]

You can comfort her by letting her know that most of your patients won't want you to be their doctor anyway 🙂.

Sorry, but I had a bad OB rejection experience.

Honestly though, I'm sure that your mind will change so much after 3rd year rotations that you won't even consider it. As a married man myself, I like the advice of saving arguments for when they'll actually matter (i.e- 4th year as you are planning to go on interviews).

DINGDINGDING

Wise advise from a wise advisor. Fight when it matters 😉

 

[dentstd]

You could approach it in one of many ways....

...tell her you wanna go Optho like the cool guy next door, then years down the line, tell her "hey honey, I'm in gyn now!"

...tell her, Woman! Know your place. I do what I want.

...or just do what the other ppl on this thread said. They sounded smart.

And why do you wanna do ob/gyn? [defective] vagina's aren't really..."vagina"

 

[Tired]

Does anyone have any advice in how to approach this situation?

I generally approach it with my nose pinched shut, eyes closed, and speculum out and prelubed.

 

[Law2Doc]

Hi! I don't know if this is the best place to post this post or if there was one similar to this. I have already done a search and came up with nothing similar. But here's my question:
I am thinking about going into obstetrics/gynecology, but my fiancee doesn't like it at all. She doesn't like the idea of me being a women's doctor. Does anyone have any advice in how to approach this situation?
Thanks!

Just tell your fiancee that during the course of med school and residency, regardless of what you ultimately go into, you will do dozens of pelvic exams, scores of breast exams and see and touch several hundred disrobed women in one medical context or another. So it's not like she will be the only naked woman you see if you don't go into OB/GYN.
Best not to specialize before you start med school though. You may decide another specialty is better suited to you, or that OB/GYN is not what you expected. You won't have very many supermodels as patients, if that's what you are (or she is) picturing.

 

[Dr. McDreamy]

tell her that 98% of your patients will be old and saggy and not in the least bit attractive. even most of the young hot ones will have some sort of nasty $hit crawling out of their vaginas.


seriously, i can't fathom why anyone would be interested in OBGYN. 😱

 

[pirate87]

Hey! Thanks for all the replies. Some were very helpful.
First off I just wanted to clarify that I haven't "chosen" that field. It is just something that I am interested in. I am still working on my bachelors degree right now (I know, I'm very much a newby). My degree is in nursing, and going through clinical rotations, that area of specialty just got me interested, as did orthopedic surgery too. Anyway, the reason I am thinking about going into that is not because I think I'll see supermodels or anything like that. My intentions are nothing perverted at all. My dad's friend is an OB/gyn physician and talking to him made me interested too.
A huge part of OB/gyn is bringing babies into the world and I would like to be a part of making sure that women are healthy and finding ways to help the process. Granted I know that there will be geriatric clients, etc. but to be able to have a family come to me if they're having trouble conceiving, or for me to help deliver a baby, or for me to find HPV early in a lady and help prevent cervical cancer...
Does anyone know where I'm coming from?

 

[Kazema]

Definitely, I just finished my OB/gyn rotation and was surprised to find that I enjoyed it. I went into it fully expecting to hate it with every fiber of my being and for a couple of weeks, did.

It's a cool specialty though, a good mix of everything, and helping to deliver babies is incredibly satisfying. And a lot of the patients are generally healthy or have conditions that can be pretty effectively treated. I can definitely see what attracts people to it. Very rewarding if you can get past the grueling hours.

 

[45408]

A huge part of OB/gyn is bringing babies into the world

It's one of the few times that someone is actually fairly happy to go to the hospital, and (hopefully!) even happier when they leave. The baby aspect of OB/GYN is by far the most enticing aspect of that specialty. It's one of my considerations.

 

[AmoryBlaine]

It's one of the few times that someone is actually fairly happy to go to the hospital, and (hopefully!) even happier when they leave. The baby aspect of OB/GYN is by far the most enticing aspect of that specialty. It's one of my considerations.

The healthy, (usually) happy patient population is one of the best things about Ob-Gyn. So many medical students act like going into Ob would be tantamount to descending into the seventh circle of Hell then go into IM, EM, surg etc where we spend half of our days working up septic GOMERs.

 

[sprinkibrio]

I bet she's more afraid of what other people would think. Like, maybe he's a perv, he must be so tired of women that he might not want to sleep with his wife at night kind of thing. Which is extremely stupid but the least stupid thing I could think that she would be concerned about.

 

[Ashers]

It's one of the few times that someone is actually fairly happy to go to the hospital, and (hopefully!) even happier when they leave. The baby aspect of OB/GYN is by far the most enticing aspect of that specialty. It's one of my considerations.

Ugh. That was the worst part of the rotation for me.

Gyn surg >>> Clinic >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Labor and Delivery

 

[UCLAstudent]

Ugh. That was the worst part of the rotation for me.

Gyn surg >>> Clinic >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Labor and Delivery

Hahaha, I feel the same way. Loved gyn and clinic. L & D triage = not cool, in my book.

 

[Blade28]

To the OP, you still haven't explained why your fiancee has such a problem with this.