Going to a commuter school is not a fun experience (am I the only one)

[ThePardoner]

Basically a commuter school is a college which is a 4 year university in which most students go to class and then go home. There isn't a sense of a dorm life.

For me, my family members and I are immigrants. Came from a completely foreign country to the US. I love my family members but they did not know what they were doing and lets just say that due to a lot of their decisions (forced decisions that affected my life) and my mistakes, I was not going to qualify for a good university (B average, around a 1900 SAT score), I take blame for everything that has happened as many real man should. Also I did not have any outside help for college admissions, missed tons of deadlines, was misinformed a lot by guidance counselor, what happened happened.

Now going to a commuter school I notice the following:

1. Tons of 30 and 40 year olds in a lot of my classes
2. Most people usually hang with their high school friends and tend to not be as open towards newer people
3. Not that many on campus activities to take part in
4. Feels a lot like high school


anyone else in this situation? I just finished the 1st semester of my sophomore year

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[lat3ralus65]

B average and 1900 SAT? Doesn't sound terrible to me. Why not transfer?

 

[gmcguitar4]

Pull up your grades and transfer schools.

 

[BHaus9]

Welcome back, protagonist/boxinmoxin

 

[StoicJosher]

Welcome back, protagonist/boxinmoxin

I was thinking the same thing - sounds a lot like BoxinMoxin.

Newsflash: life is not always fun. Sometimes, you have to just pull yourself through it. If you feel like you can't, take action and change it.

 

[aranza]

I go to one of the top 20 universities in the world which is 30 mins away from me (satellite campus) and I love it! I can come home to my comfy bed, quiet room, readymade food. Since I'm not much of the party type the lack of social activites at school don't bother me.

 

[sliceofbread136]

Honestly I thought dorm life was overrated. People who seem to want to make friends with you are in reality stuck in the highschool mentality of "I have to get popular so I can party and get drunk/laid". Way too many fake people for me.

However, I would never want to live with my parents again even on threat of death.

 

[nysw]

OP, I go to a 4 year commuter school. Most of the students go home, hang out with high school friends, what have you.
Join a club or go Greek. Get really involved on campus. Make opportunities. It'll get better (and you'll like your school more) once you start participating.

 

[JCTWP46]

Honestly I thought dorm life was overrated. People who seem to want to make friends with you are in reality stuck in the highschool mentality of "I have to get popular so I can party and get drunk/laid". Way too many fake people for me.

However, I would never want to live with my parents again even on threat of death.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Fortunately for me, campus housing here does not have dorms, but it is all apartment living. So I was lucky enough to have my own bedroom. However, much of the "dorm life" was still the same, and I hated it. I am not the party type of person (been there done that), and being a football player (then) and living with football players did not help. Sophomore year my gf transferred here, I moved off campus, and I like things much better.

And I hate it when people carry the high school mentality to college. Many of my high school friends went to a local private college within 10 minutes of where we went to school. I don't see how going there could be much different than high school.

 

[Ebola4Breakfast]

The school is what it is. You can either take it for what it is, make an attempt to get involved, or transfer. I don't really see an alternative. I did my undergrad at a university that was primarily a commuter school. I never had any problems with it. I made friends, got involved on campus, and could easily go home if I got sick of campus life. I guess it's not for everyone.

 

[bucks2010]

Join an organization, or start one. It could have something to do with academic interests, sports, hobbies, religious affiliation, political interests, etc. -- anything, really. Best way to meet folks is in small-ish organizations.

Your loneliness will not diminish unless you do something about it. Transferring is a long-term solution. Taking the initiative to join some organizations where you already are could improve your situation to the point that you no longer want to change schools.

 

[Myuu]

I went to a commuter school. There were certainly people in their thirties and forties there, but honestly, that made things more interesting, more diverse. Granted, I'm not really into the standard undergrad drinking party game.

 

[ShaolinMaster]

Honestly I thought dorm life was overrated. People who seem to want to make friends with you are in reality stuck in the highschool mentality of "I have to get popular so I can party and get drunk/laid". Way too many fake people for me.

However, I would never want to live with my parents again even on threat of death.

I couldn't put my finger on it for the longest but this describes it perfectly.

For the Op: If its friends you're looking to make, My advice? Tread little, had a guy that was a little too interested in becoming friends with a few people. Completely turned me away from him. One highlight moment after lecture: "Shaolin Master, Why are you never happy to see me?". Didn't know how to reply to that..

Any way, weight your options( how you're doing in school) and see if it's in your best interest to transfer.

 

[circulus vitios]

About 50% of my school's 4000 students are commuters, including me. My typical "college experience" wasn't getting drunk in dorms and banging hot coeds, it was driving 2 hours round trip to classes and living at home. It's miserable and I can't wait for it to be over with. Only one more year.

 

[Everett True]

At my school there are organizations for commuter students that are supposed to help them get acclimated to the school, meet new people, get involved in clubs, etc. You should find out if there's one of these on your campus, and if there is, join it. My high-school girlfriend is a pre-med commuter student, and she says this type of organization made a huge difference in her "college experience."

 

[MT Headed]

I go to a 4 year commuter school. It's wonderful. Here's why:

1. Tons of 30 and 40 year olds in a lot of my classes.
2. Most people are happy to have somebody to talk to besides their same old high school friends.
3. Not a lot of campus activities, so it compartmentalizes school as a place to learn, and the rest of the world to seek fun or work or volunteerism etc.
4. Everybody here has a plan. We aren't a bunch of clueless pre-adults in need of a babysitter. Every student was dissatisfied with their previous station in life and is well on target to reach their next goals. When folks pay $2,000 a semester from their own pocket to learn, they get a little miffed when the prof tries to leave 5 minutes early.

I especially like the foreign kids. Showing a Kenyan how to make a snowball. Teaching chinese kids our clever puns and innuendo. Some of them come here with a pre-conceived notion of what the US college experience is like, but they all quickly adapt and see the reasons and purpose for a school like ours. Last year the Saudis butchered a lamb and roasted it for the foreign exchange dinner night. That was cool!

 

[Osakhomen]

I understand how you feel. My grades weren't good enough during high school to get into the school I really wanted to go to. So I was stuck a commuter school close to home. After about 1 year I was sick of it and wanted to experience the "real" college experience, and since my grades were really good, I knew I could transfer into a pretty good school and I did after my 2nd year. It was the best decision I could of made, the school challenged me and gave me a true college experience. So I would say, transfer!

 

[torshi]

it doesnt bother me one bit.

 

[Godric]

@OP
I got go to a 4 year commuter school as well, and it has a main campus thats a dorming school, and if I had the money I might have gone their after my first year, yet I come to realize that I actually do like-
The friends I've made on campus, at my school theirs about 2 people from high school and I never see them, I've met completely new people, a whole new group of friends. And it doesnt stop their, every class I go to I think I've met people. Its just about branching out. I am in my Third year now and I still meet new friends, whether in class/labs (labs tend to be a good place to meet people), or just sitting in the campus center.

I have to admit after 3 years the worst part about a commuter schools are, no events, or the small amount of events. But you can always start org/event at your school (I have with friends).

The worst part is the commute its self, I used to take the bus and took me about 1 hour 30 mins each way + 20 mins to get to the bus, and then I got a car and now it take me about 1 hour to get to school (but now I can come and go at my own time!) , if you were to complain about that I'd understand but in all honesty any place can be made to be enjoyed you just have to think you can, you seem to all ready have a preset notion about your school, try to get rid of those notions and you'll come to enjoy it more.
Just two cents.

 

[ThePardoner]

About 50% of my school's 4000 students are commuters, including me. My typical "college experience" wasn't getting drunk in dorms and banging hot coeds, it was driving 2 hours round trip to classes and living at home. It's miserable and I can't wait for it to be over with. Only one more year.

I don't think most college kids get to do that unless they are on the football or basketball team, just saying.

 

[circulus vitios]

I don't think most college kids get to do that unless they are on the football or basketball team, just saying.

I'll settle for average, bro. I. will. settle.

 

[Drogo]

Basically a commuter school is a college which is a 4 year university in which most students go to class and then go home. There isn't a sense of a dorm life.

For me, my family members and I are immigrants. Came from a completely foreign country to the US. I love my family members but they did not know what they were doing and lets just say that due to a lot of their decisions (forced decisions that affected my life) and my mistakes, I was not going to qualify for a good university (B average, around a 1900 SAT score), I take blame for everything that has happened as many real man should. Also I did not have any outside help for college admissions, missed tons of deadlines, was misinformed a lot by guidance counselor, what happened happened.

Now going to a commuter school I notice the following:

1. Tons of 30 and 40 year olds in a lot of my classes

What's wrong with this? There's possibly years upon years of gained wisdom accumulated in these classes and you don't see the invaluable insight that could be had?

2. Most people usually hang with their high school friends and tend to not be as open towards newer people

Don't ass-ume things about most people, work on your social skills. This is an internet forum for all we know you could be socially awkard/inept.

3. Not that many on campus activities to take part in

Join in on community events/activities, make the best out of your situation, become proactive and you might be surprised at the opportunities that arise.

4. Feels a lot like high school

Once you get into your upperlevel courses and the not so serious students get weeded out, I'm sure things will change.

anyone else in this situation? I just finished the 1st semester of my sophomore year

You are there now, whether you transfer out later or not, right now you should not cloud your head with what you have deemed as major negatives. Focus more on the pros and don't let other things bring your morale down when you have more pressing matters at hand: acing your courses. Figure out a game plan after the next semester is over.

 

[ThePardoner]

I'll settle for average, bro. I. will. settle.

too soon to do that mate, too soon, you got your whole life ahead of ya!

 

[maybemed2013]

I go to a commuter school and love it.

 

[ThePardoner]

I go to a 4 year commuter school. It's wonderful. Here's why:

1. Tons of 30 and 40 year olds in a lot of my classes.
2. Most people are happy to have somebody to talk to besides their same old high school friends.
3. Not a lot of campus activities, so it compartmentalizes school as a place to learn, and the rest of the world to seek fun or work or volunteerism etc.
4. Everybody here has a plan. We aren't a bunch of clueless pre-adults in need of a babysitter. Every student was dissatisfied with their previous station in life and is well on target to reach their next goals. When folks pay $2,000 a semester from their own pocket to learn, they get a little miffed when the prof tries to leave 5 minutes early.

I especially like the foreign kids. Showing a Kenyan how to make a snowball. Teaching chinese kids our clever puns and innuendo. Some of them come here with a pre-conceived notion of what the US college experience is like, but they all quickly adapt and see the reasons and purpose for a school like ours. Last year the Saudis butchered a lamb and roasted it for the foreign exchange dinner night. That was cool!

For number 3, doubt you will have much time for that after college if you wanna be a doctor mate!

 

[romanjetfighter]

i got to a commuter state school. i sort of regret going to a bigger research institution by going to a commuter school first. helped start the student chapter of the american society of microbiology, but our membership isn't super high. most kids just dont respond or care unless there's a bunch of free food. same with student government.

thinking about getting a second bachelor's at a bigger university.

 

[varsityblue]

I felt the same way about my state school during the beginning of freshman year and ended up transferring.

In all honesty, I walked on campus the first day of freshman year with my transfer essays written, most application fees paid, and a highly detailed plan of attack for "trading up." I hated the school for no reason other than its low ranking outside of my intended major.

Give your school a chance before you write it off completely by focusing on the positive aspects of your situation. I highly, highly recommend getting crazy involved on campus; doing so provided me the kind of social life--boys, booze, and bonanzas--I lacked in high school and a sense of belonging to something more important than myself by virtue of the work we did in our community. When transfer acceptances started rolling in towards the end of the year, I actually grew genuinely depressed at the thought of leaving everything I started to love behind! I did end up transferring to a low-end tier 1 school that fit my needs more precisely and am, believe it or not, a commuter student because I didn't fare well in the housing lottery. I'm certainly happy here but I do regret leaving behind the absolute lack of competition for awards and scholarships at my first college. The grass is always greener, no?

Basically, problems exist at all schools and it's your job as a student to make the very best of your collegiate experience. Nobody is going to hold your hand or shove exciting opportunities in your face wherever you go. If you kick ass where it matters, ignore your surroundings, and stay positive, I can guarantee your sacrifices will pay off in the end.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

 

[ThePardoner]

i got to a commuter state school. i sort of regret going to a bigger research institution by going to a commuter school first. helped start the student chapter of the american society of microbiology, but our membership isn't super high. most kids just dont respond or care unless there's a bunch of free food. same with student government.

thinking about getting a second bachelor's at a bigger university.

wait you can actually do that?