Going to same medical school as high school bully

[princessbooty]

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Along my interview trail, I bumped the guy who bullied me throughout high school. I found out from overhearing a conversation that his medical school top choice is also my top choice as well. If we do end up attending the same medical school, how should I deal with this guy? Going to the same medical school with a person who's been mean to you in the past is like a nightmare come true. Should I just ignore him? I understand people change over time and learn to become more mature in college, but I don't know if I should assume this. What do you guys think I should do?

 

[chillinillinkillin007]

Along my interview trail, I bumped the guy who bullied me throughout high school. I found out from overhearing a conversation that his medical school top choice is also my top choice as well. If we do end up attending the same medical school, how should I deal with this guy? Going to the same medical school with a person who's been mean to you in the past is like a nightmare come true. Should I just ignore him? I understand people change over time and learn to become more mature in college, but I don't know if I should assume this. What do you guys think I should do?

I'm assuming your a girl by your username "princessbooty" (at least I hope).

Just ignore him but if anything happens remotely close to bullying report the jack ass.

 

[Psai]

Payback time

 

[Entadus]

Along my interview trail, I bumped the guy who bullied me throughout high school. I found out from overhearing a conversation that his medical school top choice is also my top choice as well. If we do end up attending the same medical school, how should I deal with this guy? Going to the same medical school with a person who's been mean to you in the past is like a nightmare come true. Should I just ignore him? I understand people change over time and learn to become more mature in college, but I don't know if I should assume this. What do you guys think I should do?

It works both ways! You're not a high school kid anymore. Do you really feel like you'll be susceptible to bullying? If not this person, plenty of other people in life will gladly fill the role of tormenting bully. You've got to learn how to cope!

 

[cidem2065]

Grow thicker skin.

 

[princessbooty]

It works both ways! You're not a high school kid anymore. Do you really feel like you'll be susceptible to bullying? If not this person, plenty of other people in life will gladly fill the role of tormenting bully. You've got to learn how to cope!

I totally agree with you. It seems like there are mean people everywhere, in every profession, and in all stages of life. People never stop bullying. They just do it in a different way as you grow up. The reason I became bullied in HS was because I was always the shy and quiet girl with good grades. I went to a college prep school, and everyone there was super arrogant. I wasn't interested in being friends with them so I just focused on improving myself and my own future. As a result, I didn't have any friends and I got better grades than the bully. He got a bit jealous of me and started bullying me because I seemed vulnerable without the support of friends and I wasn't good at standing up for myself. I've realized that my inability to stand up for myself has been a problem. In college, I made an effort to gain the confidence to stand up for myself. I am a different person now and I can handle many things, but the idea of just having the shadow of your past with you is kinda disconcerting...

 

[Banco]

You must establish dominance and bully the guy on the first day of medical school.

 

[jqueb29]

Pretty sure you have nothing to worry about. Hopefully he's matured but, if not, a guy trying to bully a girl in medical school will be ostracized.

 

[Entadus]

I totally agree with you. It seems like there are mean people everywhere, in every profession, and in all stages of life. People never stop bullying. They just do it in a different way as you grow up. The reason I became bullied in HS was because I was always the shy and quiet girl with good grades. I went to a college prep school, and everyone there was super arrogant. I wasn't interested in being friends with them so I just focused on improving myself and my own future. As a result, I didn't have any friends and I got better grades than the bully. He got a bit jealous of me and started bullying me because I seemed vulnerable without the support of friends and I wasn't good at standing up for myself. I've realized that my inability to stand up for myself has been a problem. In college, I made an effort to gain the confidence to stand up for myself. I am a different person now and I can handle many things, but the idea of just having the shadow of your past with you is kinda disconcerting...

If anything I imagine things will be more awkward for your ex-bully who may feel some remorse. Also the tables will have turned since many of your new classmates will be similarly shy and studious. You will fit in fine

 

[marauderette]

Do better than him XD

J/k.

Just try to be indifferent to him. Act like you don't know him. Not in a "silent treatment" kind of way, but in a "you're better than this, don't be bothered by him" way.

 

[Conflagration]

You've got to do you, OP. I highly doubt that this other person will try to start anything up again; it's not like he can talk smack about your interest in academics, he's applying to freaking medical school.

 

[efle]

pants him on the first day of class

 

[NYCdude]

High school is a cesspool for immaturity. I cringe when I think about what kind of awkward, *****ic things I did back then.

I seriously doubt he'd still want to bully you lol.

 

[princessbooty]

Everyone matures in college and we all come out as different people than when we entered. I just hope that this kid has matured a bit too.

 

[Feelgood Inc]

This thread is extremely beta

 

[Banco]

This is actually the first time I have heard of a guy bullying a girl - how stupid. I'm sure it happens but I never actually witnessed during my school days.

 

[princessbooty]

This is actually the first time I have heard of a guy bullying a girl - how stupid. I'm sure it happens but I never actually witnessed during my school days.

People do all kinds of stupid things in high school. I just never understood how you can be mean to others. It actually takes extra effort to find ways to be mean and bother others when you can just use that effort to focus on improving yourself.

 

[Banco]

People do all kinds of stupid things in high school. I just never understood how you can be mean to others. It actually takes extra effort to find ways to be mean and bother others when you can just use that effort to focus on improving yourself.

Yeah of course, bullying anyone is bad and is a major issue in schools. I often get upset at people just telling bullied kids to get tougher or fight back. Often that isn't really possible as school administration doesn't do much to help the bullied kids and punishes them too if they fight back. I straight up saw one of my friends get detention for punching a bully who was tackling him. The bully got no punishment.

 

[tima]

Time to grow up because med students, residents and attendings can act like bullies.

 

[princessbooty]

Time to grow up because med students, residents and attendings can act like bullies.

Yeah I've heard stories from real med students about getting yelled at by their attendings and what not. Guess we all have to develop thicker skin...

 

[princessbooty]

Yeah of course, bullying anyone is bad and is a major issue in schools. I often get upset at people just telling bullied kids to get tougher or fight back. Often that isn't really possible as school administration doesn't do much to help the bullied kids and punishes them too if they fight back. I straight up saw one of my friends get detention for punching a bully who was tackling him. The bully got no punishment.

I agree 100%. If were the principal of HS, I'd implement a policy for expelling anyone who bullies. In certain boarding schools in the US, bullying is given zero tolerance.

 

[princessbooty]

Have you guys been bullied in high school like me? In my high school, it seemed like I was the only one who was getting bullied.

 

[Ismet]

FTFY

Exactly. Med school is more like high school than college. Cliques EVERYWHERE.

This is actually the first time I have heard of a guy bullying a girl - how stupid. I'm sure it happens but I never actually witnessed during my school days.

Have you guys been bullied in high school like me? In my high school, it seemed like I was the only one who was getting bullied.

A boy bullied me all through middle school. A scrawny kid who didn't go through puberty until like halfway through high school. I was pretty confident so it didn't get to me too much, but it was still hurtful. Then one day I pushed him, hard, in the hallway (he was in my face at my locker, taunting me). A teacher saw it (of course), both of us got sent to the principal's office, I told them about the 2 years of bullying, and the kid got like a week of detention while I got nothin'! The school implemented a pretty strict bullying policy while I was in high school. Girls were still catty but there was not much bullying.

 

[Mad Jack]

You must establish dominance and bully the guy on the first day of medical school.

Exhibit A in med school feeling like prison

 

[Mad Jack]

I had a rough run in high school- I was too weird for most people to deal with, and thought myself too smart to play all the BS social games required of popularity. Kind of stretched all the way back to grade school. I got bullied a bit, and I sort of sucked it up and dealt with it. Later on, I found out most of the kids that had been giving me a hard time had horrible home lives and dysfunctional families, and just sort of let things go and found it in my heart to pity them rather than hate them. But in the revelation that bullying usually comes from a place of weakness, I realized that all you've got to do to get them to back off is just show them you're strong- basically tell them to **** off, and taunt them a bit for getting off on tormenting someone they find weaker than themselves. They tend to shrivel up and feel like a horrible person, then either respect you or never bother you again.

The point of this little anecdote is twofold. One, the guy probably is weak or wanting on some emotional level, and that is nothing to be afraid of. Two, once you find it in you to realize that they are weak, should they actually decide to give you trouble, all you have to do is stand your ground and talk down to them for being what they are. Not only will it get them off your back, but it might just be their wake up call to grow up.

 

[Goro]

Ignore the SOB and hope that he's grown up. In 8th grade I bullied a kid named M. I apologized to him at our 10th graduation reunion.

Along my interview trail, I bumped the guy who bullied me throughout high school. I found out from overhearing a conversation that his medical school top choice is also my top choice as well. If we do end up attending the same medical school, how should I deal with this guy? Going to the same medical school with a person who's been mean to you in the past is like a nightmare come true. Should I just ignore him? I understand people change over time and learn to become more mature in college, but I don't know if I should assume this. What do you guys think I should do?

 

[Kochanie]

If he's still an ass, ignore him. He might have matured, the person I was mean to freshman year of high school is my best friend now.

 

[malick1]

Grow some balls, if you still scared by a high school bully, how do you plan to survive rotations ?

 

[Theafoni]

Have you guys been bullied in high school like me? In my high school, it seemed like I was the only one who was getting bullied.

I used to get bullied in middle school. Since I was an immigrant and a year younger than my classmates, I was pretty much the perfect target for bullies. I remember being in high school as a 13-year old, it was quite the experience. I used to get in to so many fights, good times haha

 

[veryborderlineapplicant]

Along my interview trail, I bumped the guy who bullied me throughout high school. I found out from overhearing a conversation that his medical school top choice is also my top choice as well. If we do end up attending the same medical school, how should I deal with this guy? Going to the same medical school with a person who's been mean to you in the past is like a nightmare come true. Should I just ignore him? I understand people change over time and learn to become more mature in college, but I don't know if I should assume this. What do you guys think I should do?

Just go about your business, and do what feels right for you. What you shouldn't do is let someone else prevent you from being yourself or achieving your goals. Don't go out of your way to ignore him, it just makes things super awkward. If he's cool hang with him, and if you feel the urge call him out on his past bullying, and get him to apologize or see what he says. If he starts bullying you again, stand up to him because it's not okay to let someone make your life miserable or have that sort of power over your life, and only reinforces his behavior.

 

[Goro]

One of my classmates, who was a minor pothead all through high school, got into U Chicago and went into cosmetic surgery. He had a stunning blond trophy wife on his arm.

Myself, I was amazed at how all the guys got fat and bald, and the women all got beautiful....and too many of my classmates ended up looking like my parent's friends!

Ten year reunion was the bomb.

It's great to show up to reunion as a doctor with a beautiful woman in tow...

 

[ayocaptain628]

If ur a girl and he's a guy maybe he was just crushing on you.
I love this story, what a great opportunity.
Keep doing what you're doing, score better than him in medical school and show him who's on top 😉

 

[whoadude]

Start lifting and get very swole, grow a beard, get some visible tats, shave your head, only wear Zyzz tank tops, and get all up in his face starting day 1 of med school. Always address him as "brah?" and make every sentence sound like a veiled threat.

 

[FalconSlice]

I apologized to him at our 10th graduation reunion.

This makes me love @Goro even more.

 

[DrZeke]

I totally agree with you. It seems like there are mean people everywhere, in every profession, and in all stages of life. People never stop bullying. They just do it in a different way as you grow up. The reason I became bullied in HS was because I was always the shy and quiet girl with good grades. I went to a college prep school, and everyone there was super arrogant. I wasn't interested in being friends with them so I just focused on improving myself and my own future. As a result, I didn't have any friends and I got better grades than the bully. He got a bit jealous of me and started bullying me because I seemed vulnerable without the support of friends and I wasn't good at standing up for myself. I've realized that my inability to stand up for myself has been a problem. In college, I made an effort to gain the confidence to stand up for myself. I am a different person now and I can handle many things, but the idea of just having the shadow of your past with you is kinda disconcerting...

1) If you're still worried about this it makes me wondered if you really have learned to stand up for yourself. Or how much you really changed.

2) you say you had no friends in high school. When i was in high school I
Had a rough time at first and toured a few schools trying to switch. My mom told me she would be happy to switch me for the right reasons but that if it was all about the people then that wasn't a great reason. She said people are pretty much the same everywhere. I too went to a small private school where people were competitive. Once I thought about what she said I had an easier time getting along. I recognized that some people weren't my type and I didn't care to play into certain games or social nuances. I found my niche and few close friends, but I also learned how to get along with others in general. Your "I had no friends, everyone was ****ty" attitude tells me that your social skills may have been suffering at that time.

3) I'm not saying you invited being bullied. Just saying you do sound like you might have been antisocial.

4) like everyone else here said, he likely will not bully you now, cuz he probably knows it not ok. He may have matured.

5) like someone else said... People who bully are usually going through some ****. Try to assume there was something going on with him. Try and forgive, but don't forget. If you take that attitude in life you will in general be a happier person.

 

[deleted436726]

Beat him up so hard that he's going to have to start his emergency medicine rotation early.

 

[DrZeke]

Ok. I realize my last post may have been harsh, and while I still have some questions about your situation, I guess it doesn't matter and ultimately if you're on here asking for help/advice, then you deserve some empathy 🙂

If you are still worried about the past, then here are my thoughts.

Your situation does not sound like this, but let's rule out the worst case scenario. Are you afraid this person is going to physically hurt you or harass you? I think that changes things. I'm going to assume that you don't feel that way, but if he ever got violent or weird or tried to hurt you, obviously report it right away.
Your situation sounds more like he bullied your publicly or mocked you and nobody came to your aide, because you said you had no friends to support you.

If you are really worried bout this, which it sounds like you are, then you have to ask yourself why. It sounds like you recognized you didn't stand up well for yourself and so you have changed that. But did you actually take the time to love yourself and understand that what he said wasn't true? Or...if you believe it was true, learn from those criticisms and understand that rome wasn't built in a day. We take time to change. I hope you also took the time to recognize that the fact that he was mean and bullied you was wrong and that you are entitled to feel bad about it. You need to accept those feelings and move past them. Maybe you thought you did that, but this new turn of events seems to say you are still very bothered and haven't gotten through those feelings. If you can't get past the feelings on your own I think you should talk to someone. Sometimes it just helps to talk and feel validated and sometimes it helps to talk to sort through your feelings. If you went to talk to someone and then you and he had a run in, you would be mentally prepared. Even if that run in was just "hi" and there didn't seem to be any animosity there. Most likely if he's not a total dick, he will feel remorse and will shy away from wanting to talk to you. Or who knows...I do think that it is better to forgive and not forget then hold on to things. I do think it is healthier for you. But, it's easier said than done.

I wish you good luck and if you learned anything from this thread, it's that most of us were/are weird and have felt like an outsider at times.

 

[dpmd]

If someone was mean enough to you in high school that you remember it years later I can see how it would be unpleasant to think about being at the same school with them again, even if you don't think it will happen again. But while med school has its own cliques and high schoolish aspects, the people in it are not the same they were in high school generally. You need to figure out what is making you feel so bad about it. Are you worried about getting bullied again? If so then you need to work on your confidence so that you won't feel the same way you did in high school if someone is mean to you (because chances are someone at some point will be, just not in the same way people were mean in high school). Are you holding a grudge about what he did? In that case you should think about whether confronting him about it might help you let go of that grudge (maybe he will apologize, or maybe just the act of confrontation will make you feel better). Are you worried what he will think about you? That would be a good sign that you place too much emphasis on what others think, something that will make your clinical years more unpleasant. Figuring out how to balance what other people think with what you think about yorself would be good. If it isn't any of that stuff then just try to figure it out and decide how to address it.

 

[princessbooty]

Grow some balls, if you still scared by a high school bully, how do you plan to survive rotations ?

That was another great part of the reunion - all these girls who got crapped on all during high school and were at the bottom of the social ladder really turned into beautiful, successful young women. And the balding, overweight former football players were drooling over them...when in high school they wouldn't have given them the time of day.

This reminds me of myself..

 

[princessbooty]

1) If you're still worried about this it makes me wondered if you really have learned to stand up for yourself. Or how much you really changed.

2) you say you had no friends in high school. When i was in high school I
Had a rough time at first and toured a few schools trying to switch. My mom told me she would be happy to switch me for the right reasons but that if it was all about the people then that wasn't a great reason. She said people are pretty much the same everywhere. I too went to a small private school where people were competitive. Once I thought about what she said I had an easier time getting along. I recognized that some people weren't my type and I didn't care to play into certain games or social nuances. I found my niche and few close friends, but I also learned how to get along with others in general. Your "I had no friends, everyone was ****ty" attitude tells me that your social skills may have been suffering at that time.

3) I'm not saying you invited being bullied. Just saying you do sound like you might have been antisocial.

4) like everyone else here said, he likely will not bully you now, cuz he probably knows it not ok. He may have matured.

5) like someone else said... People who bully are usually going through some ****. Try to assume there was something going on with him. Try and forgive, but don't forget. If you take that attitude in life you will in general be a happier person.

To be quite honest, I wasn't the most mature person in high school either. I did not bully others, but I lacked the social skills I possess now to deal with difficult people. Once I began college and met new people, I realized everyone in college was super nice and down-to-earth, which was different from the types of students who were my peers in high school. As a result, I learned to become more social. Although I have greatly improved my social skills since then, I find that there is always more to learn and work on and I strive to become even better at dealing with people.

 

[mimelim]

Ten year reunion was the bomb.

It's great to show up to reunion as a doctor with a beautiful woman in tow...

I wanted to do that, but then I was on call and that was the end of that. I kinda want to see what people are like now, but then I look at the few that are on facebook and remember why I left the area.

 

[The Buff OP]

First troll thread of the year?

 

[touchpause13]

OP let me share with you my experience

I was bullied horribly in middle school and high school. I was out at a Catholic School and that didn't really lend well to making friends. All the friends I had (who I still keep in contact with and love today) were fellow outcasts. I was called every slur you can think of, threatened, had people throw things at me, was harassed pretty much all the time. (And yes I am female and yes it was mostly boys who were bullying me)
I moved away, went to a very gay college, grew up a lot as a person, and am getting my confidence back. I just had my 5 year reunion over break and I was terrified to go, but I felt like I needed to prove to myself I wasn't the same scared kid anymore. You know what? It was totally fine, no one was mean to me at all. Everyone I talked to was super impressed that I'm in medical school while lots of them live with their parents. Also a lot of the guys that used to mess with me have gotten way fatter and lost a good deal of hair so there is that.
My point is, you aren't that same girl either, and you are probably a lot stronger now than what you were. He's probably changed a lot too, for all you know he could feel horrible about what he did and would apologize to you if given the chance. I know how easy it is to worry about it and doubt yourself, but I think you will be just fine

 

[cs24]

Along my interview trail, I bumped the guy who bullied me throughout high school. I found out from overhearing a conversation that his medical school top choice is also my top choice as well. If we do end up attending the same medical school, how should I deal with this guy? Going to the same medical school with a person who's been mean to you in the past is like a nightmare come true. Should I just ignore him? I understand people change over time and learn to become more mature in college, but I don't know if I should assume this. What do you guys think I should do?

Think about how much you have grown and changed since high school, and realized that the same thing has likely happened to him as well. He likely is embarrassed of his past actions.

Even if not, at most medical schools nowadays what with streamed lectures, you can severely limit your interaction with people you don't like if you so desire.

 

[Dr.Zoidberg]

Along my interview trail, I bumped the guy who bullied me throughout high school. I found out from overhearing a conversation that his medical school top choice is also my top choice as well. If we do end up attending the same medical school, how should I deal with this guy? Going to the same medical school with a person who's been mean to you in the past is like a nightmare come true. Should I just ignore him? I understand people change over time and learn to become more mature in college, but I don't know if I should assume this. What do you guys think I should do?

That sucks. I just ran into my middle school bully at RiteAid. He was working the register. It actually spurred me to look up some of the others jerks from middle/high school, and with their collective resumes you could literally hire a manager and open a fast food joint. I'm sorry yours didn't turn out to be quite as satisfying as mine. Just be mature. I bet he grew up a lot. I can think of a few people I could've been nicer to in middle/high school. If I saw them again I'd probably buy them a drink and catch up.

 

[deleted480308]

Have you guys been bullied in high school like me? In my high school, it seemed like I was the only one who was getting bullied.

I had a number of guys in middle/high school who occasionally selected me as the target of their attention. I was a nerd. But it didn't stick because somewhere in 8th grade i decided that they were losers who didn't matter to me. If they talked crap, I talked back. If they ever touched me, they would have to fight me all out. Simply put, there were easier targets than me so they moved on

 

[Kochanie]

I wonder if I'll even see anyone I know at my high school reunion. Big high school problems.

 

[cyclopes93]

I totally agree with you. It seems like there are mean people everywhere, in every profession, and in all stages of life. People never stop bullying. They just do it in a different way as you grow up. The reason I became bullied in HS was because I was always the shy and quiet girl with good grades. I went to a college prep school, and everyone there was super arrogant. I wasn't interested in being friends with them so I just focused on improving myself and my own future. As a result, I didn't have any friends and I got better grades than the bully. He got a bit jealous of me and started bullying me because I seemed vulnerable without the support of friends and I wasn't good at standing up for myself. I've realized that my inability to stand up for myself has been a problem. In college, I made an effort to gain the confidence to stand up for myself. I am a different person now and I can handle many things, but the idea of just having the shadow of your past with you is kinda disconcerting...

By the way, I am loving the screen name 🙂p). Anyways, I had a guy in high school who straight up called me "stupid" after my question got passed around when ppl didn't know the answer and he got stuck to answer it. No one had ever said that to me and I don't know what dominating family background he came from. It's unfortunate when supposedly "genius" kids think themselves so highly that when a small town kid starts getting straight As in science classes ends up showing how dumb the genius really is they react in this unsavory manner. It's funny too that the guy went to my dream uni after finding that bit about me (I never got around applying to it)...talk about originality ha. On the other hand, other bullies are not really bullies but ppl going through some rough times in their lives that are confused and don't know what to do to vent their anger out. I had some in middle school I noticed but then they became very nice kids and indeed missed their middle school companions. I always stood up and joked around and so there was no way people could not like me; for pete's sakes I make people laugh to make them forget about those problems. I love seeing the real sides of people (but some rare gems are just rusted metal...What can ya do?)

OP I have a lot of high school ppl that I didn't prefer go on with me to my uni but you know what you don't own anything in this world. Part of life is accepting that you will someday see the same disrespecting folks again but part of life is also maturing in the process and standing up to the bad ppl and having a second chance to stomp on their feet just for kicks and giggles.

 

[estanton]

On a darker note if your top choice is also a top school there isn't that great of a chance of you both ending up there…

But if it ends up happening you should be fine! Honestly either he's going to feel really guilty or not remember it in a way that makes him the bad guy. So the more normal you can act around him the less awkward you can be. And worst case scenario if he ends up in your anatomy group you could always just move the cadaver pins after you go over something...

 

[Psai]

Ten year reunion was the bomb.

It's great to show up to reunion as a doctor with a beautiful woman in tow...

Where did you procure this aforementioned woman? This query has been submitted on the behalf of an acquaintance