Best door to dispo time I ever had as an attending was one of these, 23 y/o male, 8th visit in 6 days with multiple negative workups for chest and belly pain, 41 total visits in roughly 5 weeks. Always came to my shop at night via EMS, and goes across the state line by EMS during the day. What really pissed me off was, he had literally been in the department with his wife all day and did this not even 3 hours after she had been discharged.
I went out to triage and asked “How is this any different than any of your previous 8 visits?” “It’s not.” “Have you contacted any of the referrals for follow up?”, “no”, “Well, you’ve had multiple negative workups for emergent medical conditions this week, there’s been no change, and your vital signs are better than mine…Call your ride, you’re discharged” and I went back and put in the D/C. Total time: 17 minutes. He had the nerve to ask the triage nurse, referring to me: “can’t he get into trouble for doing this?” Who replied: “nope, all you have to get is a screening exam, which you just got and you don’t have an emergent condition, so you can be discharged”