grad student

[rocky12345]

i want to give deets about myself & looking for advice/suggestions

first for the deets...

i went to a comm college out of hs with goal of becoming an MD. i wasnt a great student in hs or prior but i did stellar at the cc i was in. i had nearly straight A's. I took all the premed prereqs at my cc except orgo sequence and moved on to a fairly prestigious Univ. i took the orgo sequence at my Unive and did well & got A's in those. I did well imo at my univ the first semester i was there (although i got a c+ in a religion class that semester and a B+ in an advanced ugrad physics class)

my second semester at my univ i think is when things started to turn down i mean it wasnt disastrous but i didnt get any A's (but no C's however). i got two Bs and a B+ in these advanced undergrad physics classes (i graduated as a physics major with a chemistry minor).

i just felt after this ive had like no confidence in my science abilities and i have some sort of intellectual capacity where i cant do stellar as i once did at my comm college. i feel like it may have just been a fluke that i did so well at my comm college and i am just the regular guy like i was in hs & middle school & grade school. after all its just a comm college i thought to myself, i mean anyone can do well and get stellar grades there.

the only other A i've gotten in my univ was in some other advanced under grad physics class i was in at a later semester, and also some math class i was in. ive gotten mostly b's and B+'s in my Ugrad physics classes and chemistry classes (nothing less than a B in ugrad other than my religion class).

i took the mcat sept 2010 & did very poorly (i got an 18!) and this further plummeted my self-esteem. albeit i was cornered into taking it by my parents I felt i nvr should have taken it as i didnt feel ready and havent taken enough practice tests they pressured me to apply for the upcoming cycle. h/e i take acountability for this as i am an adult & should make my own decisions but nonetheless i felt the low score ruined me even more. not only my med school chances but my confidence and self-esteem as a scientific thinker and student/learner. i graduated spring 2011 with a 3.45 cumulative GPA.

when i found of my low mcat score the following month (oct 2010) i was looking into graduate schools and my univ offered a medical physics program. this was something that interested me and i was very excited when i found out i was accepted and decided to pursue an MS. i started the program in fall 2011

im not doing well in grad school with a GPA of 2.95. at 15 credits i realize this is very unimpressive & am eager to pull it up. im going to finish no later than summer 2013 due to me dropping a course i wasnt doing well in. im considering staying until fall 2013 to take an extra course and if i need to stay to finish my thesis.

so my main dilemmas are
1) my mcat prep has been on again and off again since my haunting experience of taking it the first time. i need to take it again & want to get at least a 30. however i dont plan on taking it this yr which means this will push me back in the application cycle process and waiting another yr. idk how much it will bother me, but i know itd bother my a-hole dad. i think i can find something to do with an MS degree under my belt in the meantime & if i can get funding for a phd i may bide my time just staying for a doctorate in med physics then applying to med school afterwards

2) i want to be the stellar student i once was at my comm college. i just think its more of a confidence/self-esteem thing more than anything else but i could be wrong. maybe i dont have the intellectual capacity to meet the rigorous requirements a US MD program sets. i mean i felt like when i was at my comm coll i just had this will of iron of going to med school all up until my second semester at my univ. now its dying off and as a result my grades are too.

any advice on addressing these dillemas, especially 2)? i cant really change what was done in the past, i want to fix things i can control and thats my MCAT prep/score and my grad school GPA. I just want advice on somehow how I can elevate myself and the work ethic/confidence i had at my comm coll and apply to my current state in grad school as that seems to be the thing which is troubling me. i had a few average semesters as ive stated and im really letting it affect almost my entire identity. i just dont think its a matter of work ethic i think i study even harder than i do previously, i just dont perform on the exams for whtvr reason. i guess thats why they say physics IS hard and science in general too

the good news is im taking just one class this summer & going to concentrate only on this. hopefully getting an 'A' in this course will change my outlook and get me back to my previous state of mind that i had at my comm college.

also what do you think of my chances of a US MD school are give the stats and circumstances of having a MS degree? i want US MD but i may need to lower my standards given my credentials but maybe i have a chance, i guess ill never know until i apply.

Also since i took the MCAT i took was in sept 2010, does this become deleted off my record by the time i'll be applying?

thanks for any advice and just please gimme a confidence boosting comments if you think it they are applicable in my situation.

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[deleted382095]

For graduate school information, you can check out "gradcafe" website, it's like SDN but for graduate school admission only. http://forum.thegradcafe.com/

Admission to a decent, fully funded PhD program is highly competitive. The program I'm currently in for my PhD in Chemistry received over 400+ applications this year for 35 spots. About 2/3 of the applications had a Bachelor in Chemistry, and 1/3 had a Master in Chemistry before they applied. Not to mention, many applicants who got accepted all had some kind of internship, fellowship, assistantship, scholarship, and first-author publications.

1. Raise your GPA as soon as possible before they put academic probation on your transcript for having 2.95 GPA.

2. Talk to the PhD students at your current school to see if it's for you or not. The expectation/standard for a PhD student is significantly higher than a MS student.

3: Finish your degree ASAP and then study for MCAT or GRE vigorously.

4. Cheer up, don't compare your graduate GPA with undergraduate GPA, especially in the physical science field, memorization will only do more harm than good in grad school (opposite of med school).

5. You might have a slight advantage to get in with your MS in Medical Physics, that's only if you have a competitive MCAT score, good amount of volunteer hours, good letter of recommendations like other applicants.