hanging out with the guys

[justwondering]

this isnt a medical q, its a cultural one.

im an "abcd" (female) married to a "fob". most of my friends and i have grown up in families where u spend a LOT of time with ur family and very little with ur friends (ie it's a big deal to hang out w ur friends even once a week).

my husband, on the other hand, thinks its totally normal to hang out with his friends every weekend (a few hours per weekend or more, but not every day). most times, they make plans at the last minute and i/he find out 1 hr before he is to leave. i dont like hanging out with his friends and their wives because i cant relate and it feels really forced. he's also an extroverted person while im not which may contribute to my not really understanding this.

so what is expected in desi culture amongst guys? how often do guys get together w their friends (before they have kids) usually?

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[Llenroc]

Sounds like pretty typical Indian social life: you go over to someone's house where there's a lot of other families visiting, and everyone sits around making idle gossip ("my beta has got 7 tennis trophy!") or tedious work talk ("first I make the money, then I get the Mercedes!") while stuffing themselves with food. The hosts just keep putting more and more crap on your plate, and even if the food tastes like **** or you're completely stuffed you have to keep eating it or they get offended. That and alcohol is rare at these functions, not because Indians don't like it, but because they're cheap bastards.

Maybe that's why I don't go back to my parent's place that often these days.

 

[justwondering]

but is this something that happens weekly for each family? they dont usually do anything too involved (ie fancy get-togethers), they just go to a cheap restaurant or hang at someone's house.

 

[fedupme]

oye!!!
how dare you call my indian fellows CHEAP BASTARDS! there's nothing wrong with the families you visit but I am sure you are a gone case. If you dont want to go to your parents place then you're toooo unlucky to realise the importance & love of your parents for you. I am a second generation indian too, but I am proud of my background, unlike you who hardly realises what he/she has. i pity you llenroc!!!

 

[SpecialR]

Sounds like pretty typical Indian social life: you go over to someone's house where there's a lot of other families visiting, and everyone sits around making idle gossip ("my beta has got 7 tennis trophy!") or tedious work talk ("first I make the money, then I get the Mercedes!") while stuffing themselves with food. The hosts just keep putting more and more crap on your plate, and even if the food tastes like **** or you're completely stuffed you have to keep eating it or they get offended. That and alcohol is rare at these functions, not because Indians don't like it, but because they're cheap bastards.

Maybe that's why I don't go back to my parent's place that often these days.

ROFL!! True that.

oye!!!
how dare you call my indian fellows CHEAP BASTARDS! there's nothing wrong with the families you visit but I am sure you are a gone case. If you dont want to go to your parents place then you're toooo unlucky to realise the importance & love of your parents for you. I am a second generation indian too, but I am proud of my background, unlike you who hardly realises what he/she has. i pity you llenroc!!!

LOL! I see culture clash. I'm sure he/she is pretty proud of their background and probably do love his/her parents, but the point was .. all Indian gatherings are about boasting about yourself and your family.. and then all those gossips. It's in the genes to be nosy XD!

 

[dggopal]

You said that you were the ABCD and he was the fob... dunno if i got it wrong but if you are the american then that should mean that you have friends of your own and are pretty independent... y can't you guys just do your own thing... While he hangs wit his friends, you hang wit yours...