Has Anyone Noticed This?

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Many men (maybe even most) feel threatened by a woman in a profession that is more "prestigious" than theirs. The men that aren't typically have high confidence and/or a "prestigious" profession of their own.
 
it just means most men who aren't doctors are too intimidated by women that are 😛
 
Narmerguy said:
Many men (maybe even most) feel threatened by a woman in a profession that is more "prestigious" than theirs. The men that aren't typically have high confidence and/or a "prestigious" profession of their own.
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I expected an answer like this. I personally don't really believe that.
 
I guess women look at profession more than other things while chosing a guy to go out with.. lol.. prestige-******.........
 
I think a lot of men feel emasculated by successful/smart women. Especially if they make more money. It is very similar with height. You very rarely see a woman taller than a man.

I know someone whose wife both makes more money and is taller. He is an angry little man.
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
I expected an answer like this. I personally don't really believe that.
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I also found it hard to believe until I saw it happening firsthand. To share one example, a very close friend of mine had started a thriving retail business when she fell in love with a man that she met in graduate school. A year or two into their relationship, he told her that he wanted her to quit the business that she'd started because he felt that he, as "the man", should make more money than her. Her success was a threat to his masculine identity and sense of self-worth. Boys and men are socialized to think that they should be more financially powerful than women.
 
BigChubbyMD said:
I think a lot of men feel emasculated by successful/smart women. Especially if they make more money. It is very similar with height. You very rarely see a woman taller than a man.

I know someone whose wife both makes more money and is taller. He is an angry little man.
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:laugh:
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
Men are often just straight forward.
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LOL! what kind of response is that?

to answer op's question:

yeah i think the prestige/money thing may be an issue... but maybe not, who knows? i think my mom makes way more than my dad but i guess technically his field is more prestigious.

the other thing is lifestyle. i don't think most men would be willing to give up their SO's to residency... and i think if you want a family, marrying a female doc who wants to work full time is not exactly the path of least resistence. i think the other option would be asking her to put her career on pause (or slow motion) to pop out some children... not sure that would fly with most female doctors.
 
i think there are a couple reasons.

to be totally honest, i think men are (not always, but often) inherently less understanding and willing to put up with crap than women. men don't want to date women who are never home. so these women end up with other doctors/phds because they are the only ones who can really understand and cope with her crappy schedule. im not even IN med school yet (grad school) and my boyfriend is already seeming to resent all the time i spend in classes, and studying for the MCAT, etc. I do sometimes find myself thinking how it would be easier if i was just dating another student because at least they would be able to not take my schedule personally. when it's reversed, i think women are more comfortable taking on the supportive and understanding role for the busy boyfriend/husband. again, not always, and some men are great in this role, but in general this has been my observation.

then there's the future and kids thing. if i decide i want kids, and i'm with a guy who i love but who makes no money, i have some tough decisions to make regarding what fields i can go into, what we can afford, etc. i could be the breadwinner and he could take care of the kids. but would we like that? would he resent it? would we fight? on the flip side, if i married another doctor, i feel like i'd have more options (ie going part time for a while) because we wouldn't be dependent solely on my income. plus i wouldn't have to worry about him resenting me or whatever due to my career. i know some of you try to call bullsh$t about men feeling emasculated in these situations but i'm pretty sure its a proven phenomenon that does happen to lots of men- whether conciously or not.

i know some of you might not agree with me, but thats my firsthand experience/opinion as a female grad student/premed with a non-student SO. take it with a grain of salt.
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
Men would just say they don't want their wives to work and make more money. Competative women ( and many if not most premeds and docs are) would not say that but they still would want to make more than their husbands, no?
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I don't know, all the competitive women I know would also want their partners to make a lot of money so that they can have a huge total net income! :laugh:
 
sirius08 said:
I don't know, all the competitive women I know would also want their partners to make a lot of money so that they can have a huge total net income! :laugh:
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A lot of money=yes. More money= I'm not sure 😀
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
Men would just say they don't want their wives to work and make more money. Competative women ( and many if not most premeds and docs are) would not say that but they still would want to make more than their husbands, no?[/QUOTE]

No. lol. i know everyone says this but im not going into medicine FOR the money. of course i want to know i'll be able to pay back my loans, but the way i see it, if i was with a doc husband who made a lot, i would actually feel relieved- i'd have the freedom to choose whatever specialty i really loved- like if i decided i wanted to do peds part-time or something. i couldnt do that with a broke guy (at least not very easily.)
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I tend not to ask every female physician whether she is married and what her husband's career choice is, so no...never noticed. We have tons of girls here that are dating guys that aren't going for or have a Ph.D. or medical degree.
 
Look, women aren't socialized to be "the provider" as men are, so they don't have the same issues with making money as men do. When women make more money than men, men might feel that they are failing in their expected relationship role and/or resent the power that their female partner has. Women are more likely to want to share both work and household responsibilities, especially since, even when they do make more money than men, they still tend to take on more than their fair share of the household and child care labor tasks than men.
 
MossPoh said:
I tend not to ask every female physician whether she is married and what her husband's career choice is, so no...never noticed. We have tons of girls here that are dating guys that aren't going for or have a Ph.D. or medical degree.
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but they are not married so they dont count 😛
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
I expected an answer like this. I personally don't really believe that.
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Well it's hard not to believe that. Just as women are often told their role is to be the doting wife and mother and care for the kids and make the house a warm place for the family to live, men are portrayed as the provider and the bringer of resources to the family. A woman who out-earns a man challenges his ability to provide for the family because, face it, his contribution won't be as needed if his spouse can do a better job of it.

Men want taller women? Only tall enough that they're still shorter than the man. Be honest, when you see a couple of a tall woman with a short man, you notice it and it even looks a little funny for the guy. "Oh look at that little man." When you see a tall guy with a shorter woman? Nothing, this is the way it's "supposed" to be.

Most men are threatened by women who excel at the qualities and attributes that men traditionally possess.
 
sirius08 said:
Look, women aren't socialized to be "the provider" as men are, so they don't have the same issues with making money as men do. When women make more money than men, men might feel that they are failing in their expected relationship role and/or resent the power that their female partner has. Women are more likely to want to share both work and household responsibilities, especially since, even when they do make more money than men, they still tend to take on more than their fair share of the household and child care labor tasks than men.
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i know 'evolutionary psychology' is a controversial field but personally i believe it makes a LOT of sense . . . and part of it is that men and women are not just the way they are because they are SOCIALIZED to be that way, but because it's actually hardwired in our genetic makeup for men to be providers and women to be caretakers. not to say that it can't or shouldn't be overcome. im just saying that i understand how it can be stressful for a couple to have this dynamic where the woman is the high earner. especially BECAUSE in our minds, it should be fine- culturally, we have all come to terms with it. but subconciously our instincts might still be making us feel unsettled about it. which leads to guilt . . . stress . . . all that.
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
Just take college girls, how many of them choose to marry guys wanting to be teachers? and how many chase pre-meds, pre-laws etc?

I have not seen guys making such efforts.
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DocDrakeRamoray said:
You're wrong, it is women not wanting to marry short guys. Guys would actually like to have a taller wife.
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DocDrakeRamoray said:
Men are often just straight forward.
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DocDrakeRamoray said:
Men would just say they don't want their wives to work and make more money. Competative women ( and many if not most premeds and docs are) would not say that but they still would want to make more than their husbands, no?
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dude, stop being a tool. if you wanted this thread to be about why women are annoying prestige-******, you should have titled it as such. i find your "men can do no wrong" attitude gross.
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
You're wrong, it is women not wanting to marry short guys. Guys would actually like to have a taller wife.
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This is an opinion, a minority opinion, and my bet is that it is less than a 5% minority opinion.
 
dw2158 said:
your "men can do no wrong" attitude gross.
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:laugh: who said men can do no wrong? No wrong?

I'm not into debating who can do more wrong. I simply asked why is that MD women do not usually marry regular Joes?
 
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Seriously $ and job are the last thing you look for when finding a girlfriend.
 
MaryLennox said:
i know 'evolutionary psychology' is a controversial field but personally i believe it makes a LOT of sense . . . and part of it is that men and women are not just the way they are because they are SOCIALIZED to be that way, but because it's actually hardwired in our genetic makeup for men to be providers and women to be caretakers. not to say that it can't or shouldn't be overcome. im just saying that i understand how it can be stressful for a couple to have this dynamic where the woman is the high earner. especially BECAUSE in our minds, it should be fine- culturally, we have all come to terms with it. but subconciously our instincts might still be making us feel unsettled about it. which leads to guilt . . . stress . . . all that.
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Yeah, I am trained as a research psychologist (I have a Ph.D.). Having read extensively about the evolutionary psychology research on sex differences, I have to say that I'm pretty unimpressed with the findings and research methodologies that have led to these kinds of speculations.

Also, terms like "genetic hardwiring" and "instinct" are problematic in the ways in which they are ambiguously defined, blithely used, and difficult to measure.

Just my two cents.
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
Guys would actually like to have a taller wife.
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And you came to that conclusion how?

I'm 6'2" and definitely weary of any woman taller.

For you to say guys like having a taller wife either means you're a manlet or just spewing nonsense.
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
alright, if men are weary of taller women, why do we see short guys having tall female models by their sides? can someone explain?
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Models have high status in a way that's not threatening, and in fact may even be gratifying, to men. Models are the epitome of sexual objectification. Their "status" is within prescribed gender norms and reifies existing gender power differences.
 
longhorn09 said:
Seriously $ and job are the last thing you look for when finding a girlfriend.
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(i'm a man) what a woman's ambitions are and what they are currently doing with their lives is something i'm very very interested in these days.

I would personally love to find someone in the medical profession. A doctor would be perfect.
 
tjluke25 said:
This is an opinion, a minority opinion, and my bet is that it is less than a 5% minority opinion.
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then tell me why we always hear women talking about guys height?

I guess my question is: is it the guys more concerned about the height of their wives or women about the height of their husbands?
 
DocDrakeRamoray said:
So this is what it all boils down to?

I wonder if men would feel "emasculated" and "threatened" by a beautiful, tall wife making more money?
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Good question - it probably depends on the individual man. I would guess that many men would be intimidated by that combination, though maybe there are a few who are secure enough to handle it. 👍
 
Alright, I'm out of time here. OP, good luck with pursuing these questions of gender bias and stereotype. These are issues worth reflecting on in an open-minded and honest manner.
 
This guy is clearly a mysoginistic troll who is trying to get other people to agree with his belief and/or annoy the other side. As a member of the other side I will admit he has succeeded. He has no evidence (or anecdotal data even) to suggest that there is a higher percentage of female physicians with medical husbands than male physicians with medical wives. As a guy I don't care how tall my wife, girlfriend, significant other, life partner, whatever is, I don't care how much money they make or what profession they are in. Yes I kind of want my current girlfriend to not go to medical school, but not because that means she could make more money than me. In fact the reason I want her not to go to medical school is because with her other career choice (running and/or owning a medical spa) she WILL make more money than me. This gives me the option to go into any field I want with out having to worry about income. I personally would like to take significant time to work at a free clinic and have a relationship with my kids if and when I have them, if my spouse makes a hell of a lot of money that gives me the option to do so. If she goes to medical school she still will probably make more money than me because I want to go into a field like neurology or some sub specialty of internal medicine and while these are not the lowest paying fields they don't make nearly as much as derm which is what she wants to do. This is not the greatest example because yes either way we are both successful, but I think it makes the point that you can't make a sweeping generalization. Also how does this idea apply to gay couples? To make a general statement like that and assume that you are right and that people with agree with you is absurd.
 
:laugh: dude I'm no mysoginist, I just shared my observation of MD women and men. I have no data, if you have please share. I would want to know and would dismiss my observation if I'm wrong. And I too don't really care how tall and how much money my wife makes.
 
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sirius08 said:
Yeah, I am trained as a research psychologist (I have a Ph.D.). Having read extensively about the evolutionary psychology research on sex differences, I have to say that I'm pretty unimpressed with the findings and research methodologies that have led to these kinds of speculations.

Also, terms like "genetic hardwiring" and "instinct" are problematic in the ways in which they are ambiguously defined, blithely used, and difficult to measure.

Just my two cents.
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i don't know enough about the field to say- im sure that the research methods and the way terms are defined need improvement. but i do still think it's logical that at least a part of whatever 'instinct' is, is based on evolution and the way things were for our ancestors. i don't think this can be used to justify things, but i do think it has the potential to help us understand things better. such as why men might feel unsettled with a breadwinner wife even though conciously he feels accepting of it.
 
Smart women tend not to favor dumb men. While that doesn't exclude nurses, phelbs, and other techs, most of the hands-on professions tend to attract people who are either using it as a transition (most of the phlebs in our lab are people who are in school to do something else) or those who aren't motivated or smart enough to go into another profession.

I dated one guy who was incredibly smart, and he felt insecure with the idea that if we married and I became a doctor, he (as a journalist) would make less money than me. Sometime during our relationship, he changed his mind and decided to go for a PhD in psychology instead.

I dated another guy who was incredibly sweet, but not very bright. He was my age, almost to the day, but instead of going to school after high school, he joined the military as an infantryman. I'm an army brat, and my mom is an officer. I have very little respect for the minds of infantrymen... they're the brawn, not the brains. After a couple dates, I ended it because I really couldn't see us being equals on an intellectual level. I couldn't carry on any real conversation with him because he wouldn't have a clue what I'm talking about. (And as a random aside, he's the second to be really interested in me and not been my equal or superior intellectually. I wasn't really attracted to either of them.)
 
I don't know if I really understand the question. If there are x women doctors who are married to another doctor, shouldnt there also be x men married to a doctor? (we'll exclude gays to make it simple).

Now using that, if you say there are a higher percentage of women married to doctor men, wouldnt that mean there are more male doctors out there than female doctors?

So the females simply have more to choose from? Research has shown that people tend to marry in their field, so it sort of makes sense.
 
MaryLennox said:
Tbe totally honest, i think men are (not always, but often) inherently less understanding and willing to put up with crap than women. men don't want to date women who are never home. so these women end up with other doctors/phds because they are the only ones who can really understand and cope with her crappy schedule.
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I agree with this. I've dated many men in non-medical fields (everything from construction workers to government workers to police officers) and almost all of them have ended up frustrated by the fact that I am a very busy person. When I don't have time to see them often enough, they tend to assume that, as a woman, I'm being moody or trying to get them to "take a hint". The topic came up often enough that those relationships ultimately died.

I can't speak for other women with higher degrees, but when I end up working long hours, I don't want to have to explain and defend myself. If that means marrying someone who also works crazy hours and understands that I'm not avoiding them, then so be it.
 
a/s/l was so pre-teen years.

when you are looking for a sig-other for purposes other than sexual encounters its:

i/s/o?

income, social status, orientation?
 
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