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Has medical school ever made you cry?
Started by Ilikeshoes
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We have kind of a weird curriculum in that we start psych during second year, and yeah... I'm going through a mini existential crisis right now. I had no idea abuse and rape were as prevalent as they are. I feel so bad for so many of these people.
It makes me sad that so many people don't realize it.
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Child psych is supposed to be horrible for a lot of reasons- trauma, tragedy, poverty, horrible parents, fighting a system that provides you with no resources whatsoever to do what you need to help the children that get sent your way, etc etc. There's a decent thread on it in the psych sub forum right now.
I actually go back and forth about whether or not I'm interested in it. The sad stuff I'm fine with, but I'm more interested in adolescents and you don't really *need* the fellowship for that
I can understand that a bit. I went the traditional route, so it probably wasn't as big of a change as what you did, but I think one of the hardest parts, more than the academics was leaving the friends and life I was so close to behind. The feeling of being isolated and uprooted made a stressful time even more difficult.
Probably why I'm liking MS2 a lot more, it's a lot of work but academic work doesn't bother me so much, now that I've made some friends and feel a bit more settled. Having the support system and feeling at home is huge.
See my parents are both psychologists so I've heard so many things... it takes a LOT to surprise me. Like the one time I overheard him talking about a client with my mom, this poor woman, when she was a kid her stepdad bought her a puppy, then shot it in front of her and wouldn't let her take the bloody clothes off for like over a day. Oh and of course she was sexually abused too, because of course people are horrible.
At this point, I'm less concerned with crying, and more concerned with emotional blunting.
Seriously, the ****ing pager seems to twist your brain into looking at patients as obstacles to sleep and home time rather than vulnerable people needing your help.
I don't want to get to the point where I don't care about patients, and don't have an emotional reaction to treating them and getting them through some of the worst moments of their lives. I would rather cry than feel nothing.
Seriously, the ****ing pager seems to twist your brain into looking at patients as obstacles to sleep and home time rather than vulnerable people needing your help.
I don't want to get to the point where I don't care about patients, and don't have an emotional reaction to treating them and getting them through some of the worst moments of their lives. I would rather cry than feel nothing.
Nope but it makes you tired, and more withdrawn.
I felt a tear start to form when I got accepted, but held it back. Haven't come close since then, but it is still early I guess
This, absolutely. Outpatient usually isn't too bad because at least the parents care enough to get the kids to appointments. But C-L child psych is all about 2 things: 1) seeing kids in the ED who are having a crisis, usually because their parents don't notice what's happening or don't care enough to get them outpatient help, and 2) respond to inpatient peds consults, which are naturally for the saddest cases and worst social situations. It's all cancer, terminal illness, disability, and disfigurement, all of the time. I am also rotating through a pediatric burn unit some days of the week, which provides its own unique horrors... like my patient who says from now on, he will only go outside at night.
Well being at the bottom of the class doesn't necessarily mean things are going bad n I would actually suggest that someone could be "just chillin" at the bottom of the class. For example, if someone is interested in doing an FP residency couldn't you see med school being less stressful than even undergrad? Is that your experience (less stress than ugrad) or have you also found that you feel both less special and more stressed?
It's really horrible, but I remember thinking "I really hope this patient doesn't code on my shift" innumerable times. But it's not the thought that's the problem- it's the reasoning behind it. I didn't want them to not code because I wanted them to not die- hell, on the contrary, I thought many of them should pass away because they were in such poor health that they'd be better off. But I just didn't want to get held over after a 16 hour shift, or get stuck in a 2 hour code-revive-code-revive-code cycle that would turn my day into a lot of suck.
As much as I would like this to be the case, it is definitely not. Less special and more stressed for sure, especially now that every day is a battle just to pass my classes. In UG the worst that could happen is I don't get the A I wanted, but here failing a class could be a $50k mistake due to repeating a year. My test anxiety has skyrocketed in the past few months, so much so that on the rare occasion that I do have time for sleep before an exam I struggle to fall asleep and end up writing on 1-2 hrs at best.
The funny thing is plenty of people seem to be "just chillin" but pulling 95's on exams. Maybe I'm just doing something wrong with my study approach, or maybe there's some pretty brilliant people here even at a lowly DO school.
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They just say that to make you feel better.
Post interview M4 > M1 > M2 > M3 > Pre interview M4
Generally speaking. Although some people truly hate studying and love being in the hospital all day every day.
Reminds me of Neuro ICU.
Some of the most memorable were a teenage boy who attempted suicide and shot half his face off and a young girl with severe cerebral palsy who was blind, deaf, and had hundreds of seizures everyday.
The worst were probably the patients paralyzed from brain bleeds. Even on max pain meds they'd still start shaking and crying every time we'd go in to do a neuro exam to evaluate strength/sensation/reflexes.
There were times when I felt like we were literally torturing people.
Omg 🙁
That's the part where I would have had a nervous breakdown and dropped out. You all are way stronger than I am.
Ya I know that feel. I use to stress about getting enough sleep before exams which would cause me to lose sleep...self fulfilling prophecy. The thing I found that works is studying a lot everyday so the day before an exam is just another day. Do you study a lot everyday or concentrate your studying to the days leading up to the exam?
When does it stop being an adjustment?
Def not there yet 🙁
Both. The way our exam schedule is set up we have tests every 3-6 days, so usually as soon as you finish one, it's immediately time to start cramming for the next one.
I realize I sound like a total downer in this thread lol. My initial point was that med school is much harder than I thought it would be, and hard to not get down on yourself when putting in 10-12 hour days and barely passing
For me:
Post interview M4 > M3 > Pre interview M4 > M2 > M1
**** I hated pre-clinical classes.
Strong arguments for physician assisted suicide (or in some cases, letting people simply die with dignity).
Probably oversharing here, but what the hell, it's anonymous. I went through the same thing starting Psych. My brother committed suicide, and it took me a long time to not cry reading the suicide sections of Fadem's Behavioral Science or First Aid.
My surgery rotation broke me. For three weeks straight I cried every time the alarm went off in the morning. It wasn't so much the subject matter or the hours, but the mean, horrible people in that program who loved to torture me with endless pimping and put-downs.
@kirbymiester - I'm really sorry to hear that man. I hope things have gotten better for you since then.
(I didn't quote in case you decide to delete the comment later)
(I didn't quote in case you decide to delete the comment later)
I met some super awesome gen surgeons but one was terrible. She'd lie to attendings to clear the list, they'd end up being readmitted. When i didn't lie during my presentations she'd tear me a new one.
Yeah, a lot better for sure, thanks. It's just pretty amazing and humbling how Psych tends to bring you in tune with your humanity.
I'm sorry you when thru that Kirby
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I'm an MS1 and I cried more than I'd care to admit first semester... anatomy turned my background level of anxiety into full-blown anxiety attacks. More than once. This semester is much better, so far (as was first semester after October).
OMG, that sucks in the extreme Kirby. It had to be beyond tough, getting through it under those circumstances. Very sad and sorry about you losing your brother.
Seriously, surgery can be a very tough crowd. Just know that they are tough on their own as well.
I thought they only did that on scrubs. You mean you can do that in real life? Sweet!
It's a real thing. Sylvanthus is another combined one, except he's in an EM/IM/CC 6-year track.
Cry? No. Caused me to get angry, confused, frustrated, upset, self-conscious, despondent etc... you bet. Have yet to do a residency so we'll see. 3rd year was rough but nothing compared to what I've seen friends go through as residents.
Some people I went to school with started crying during used to cry during 1st year anatomy, some due to step 1 pressure, some cried during 3rd year when a patients died, it's all relative but I think universally, eventually it gets to you and you let it out any way you can.
Some people I went to school with started crying during used to cry during 1st year anatomy, some due to step 1 pressure, some cried during 3rd year when a patients died, it's all relative but I think universally, eventually it gets to you and you let it out any way you can.
I actually meant the going out on the roof to be alone and vent type thing. They do that on scrubs .
My dual IM/gen surg residency was pretty rough. But I can manage hyponatremia AND take out appendices. Totally worth it.
Is this at Maryland/Shock Trauma?
There's only two programs, so there's a 50/50 shot.
This is my worst fear! I'm starting med school next year, and I'm afraid that, because most of the major "selling points" of my application had nothing to do with science (I wasn't a science major and my cumulative GPA was high but my science GPA was so-so), even though I was a good applicant, I won't be a good med student. I.e. that I got myself into a situation where all my other skills and interests will no longer help me---only my ability to quickly learn biology etc.
Thrice for me. Once first semester first year (relationship imploding+feeling completely in over my head), once in gen surg when I felt like I was about to go off the deep end (waited till I got home, luckily) and once during OB, right there in the delivery room, when a 20-weeker was born and died a few minutes later.
Work Neuro ICU Intensivist, completed more CME on this. ^^versed^^propofol, premedical prior to exam when manipulating pt to keep the ICP "manageable." Also helps me to deal with the subjective cries/wincing/grimacing/tears which still indicate a distressed human being in my head & heart. Am told by others who "move the meat" you will get used to it after a while.
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That's got to be one of the stupidest things I ever heard. What kind of j.azz. .. hell no. That's about as bad as a false 911 call. The people that were a part of that were just straight-up JO's. Sorry. But there are less asinine jokes to play on people. If you can't play a joke right w/o being lame, you shouldn't do them at all. That one. . .that was totally lame.
Also, sorry. I totally loathe the whole "gomer" name thing or "moving meat." I detest the use of cabbage or any other vegetation. It's just so disrespectful, and after all these years, I haven't changed with that. I know everyone handles stress differently, but I am just super sensitive to anything that dehumanizes human beings. Sorry, but I am totally old school about respect. Maybe a person could say they wouldn't care if they were brain-dead or whatever; but I am willing to bet that if it were their mom, dad, brother, sister, cousin, kid, yea, it wouldn't be so cute. The Golden Rule has a lot of merit.
^^^I totally agree. Now boarded and an "Attending" it is my clinical judgment and I treat each patient as a human being the way I would want my family member treated. It's my call, have added 2mg Dilaudid q 2 hours if I sense patient in pain or MSO4. Crank vent to 100 percent O2 PRVC the rest of shift, resume vent weaning after am ABG. After my shift ends. The "hard core" "meat movers" on day shift can reassess the patient, use their own clinical judgement. Sticking to my core values & training on this one!
Just stop already. Stop diverting threads away from their original topic for your pity party
