You aren't in the tank from your grades, yet. You can still do this.
Intuition, maybe it's time to cut with the past. You have some unhelpful habits to break. This repetitive procrastinate, panic, self-deprecation, vow to improve cycle needs to be broken. The methods that have worked for others, where they snap out of it and make a complete change of habit all at once, might not work for you because they aren't necessary suitable for you. I am only guessing that making drastic changes at one time might not be in the best interest of a bipolar person.
Procrastination over studying has been one of you problems in the past. I don't know if it is still an issue for you. Have you considered drawing up a study plan, not for exam time, but for the regular semester? Set specific times to study specific subjects in specific ways during a calm time of day. Check off your progress. Rinse and repeat on a daily basis. Create a routine. Routines can be calming and make your study time more effective.
Set much smaller goals. When you set drastic goals, you are just setting yourself up for failure. You need to break that pattern. Small successes add up just like compound interest. They build your confidence. I think you could probably use a big boost in that area.😉 Enough small successes also let you realize that the larger successes actually ARE possible, and much closer to your reach than when you tried to snag them with one huge leap.
Yes, you CAN do this. You just can't do it all at once. Make a reasonable plan and start walking, not racing, toward your goal. Set a time frame to reevaluate your plan. If it was still too grandiose, bring it down to something more manageable for you.
Those are just my thoughts on the subject. You understand yourself better than those of us who have never met you. If my words don't seem to fit your situation, just file them where they belong.
Keep your chin up. I wish you success.
