Having a Baby

[eellen3]

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My fiancee and I were discussing when would be the best time to have a baby after we get married. Right after med school is residency and then fellowship and then I'll be almost 30 and kinda old to have a first child. Is it better during school---or will that mess me up with what residencies I want? Or maybe during residency? It seems like I'd have to just make time for it. What do you guys think? Anybody with similar experience?

 

[RunShare]

Why is 30 old to have a first child?

Yes, you increase risks of certain birth defects the older you get, but that doesn't really hold true until you get closer to 40, right? (Anyone around with more knowledge on the subject?) I think 30, in this day and age, is pushing the younger end of the spectrum on having children. I say give yourselves time to enjoy being married before you start a family.

 

[nonesuchgirl]

The right time is when it feels like the right time.

That said, some people schedule rotations so that they can take off for maternity leave without missing anything. Also the summer before 1st, after 1st, and after 2nd. I think intern year is generally considered a bad time (hello insanity).

30 isn't that old, but after that some of your risks do go up. It's kind of silly to plan when you're Going To Have Kids, because you have no idea what you're going to be doing. There are just too many variables to say anything besides whenever you feel it's right.

 

[nlax30]

I don't think there's going to be any "good/best" time, unfortunately so you just have to adjust when the time comes. My wife and I have had the same discussion and it's gonna be crazy not matter when we start. I guess there are pros/cons to each time period, but for right now we're waiting until at least I'm done with my 1st two years. Just making the transition into med school and doing well during your first two years and well on Step 1 is going to be insane.

That said, we have three pregnant girls in our class this year. One already had hers, ones due in a month, and the other early next year and they all seem to be doing ok.

 

[beachblonde]

Have a baby when you want to have a baby. It's your life-you'll find a way to make it work.

That being said, my mother was 36 when she had me, and even older for my siblings. 30 is definitely considered on the younger side for having kids nowadays, so don't worry about it being too old.

 

[Daddy07]

I too also agree that 30 isn't that old; however I do know that fertility tends to decrease at an increasing rate after about the age of 25 or so (My undergraduate degree is a BS in Nursing). Pushing off having a baby until closer to 40 and you increase your chances of having complications, such as difficulty conceiving, Down's Syndrome, preterm labor, etc... I'm definately not saying that you will have these problems if you wait, just things to consider. I have a daughter that is 10 months old and so I will be going through medical school married and with a young child, but we make it work and I'm sure you could too if you guys decide to have a baby sooner than later. Well, whatever you decide, good luck!..=)

 

[t-funk]

The average age for having your first child is 25 in America so I would definately consider 30 on the older side of having children. Most of my college educated professional friends from high school started having children between 25 and 30. That being said, it is all a personal choice. When I was pregnant at a very young 19, I went to church and congregated with a lot of women who waited until their early 30s to start having children bc they were waiting for their husbands to finish law or medical school and to be well off or whatever. I swear that about half of them were struggling with fertility issues and confessed to me their regret in waiting.

To me, having children was more important and still is than having a career and I would pick having kids anyday over a successful career. It's all about what is more important to you. Waiting does not magically make all the problems go away with child rearing like some would want you to believe. My boss and his wife waited until their late thirties to have children to be well off or on their feet or whatever excuse people use and he leaves work every other day due to an issue with his kids. It is not any easier. Overall, I just think it is a personal choice and up to each individual to decide what is important to them.

 

[futuredrcrawfor]

the lady I nanny for was 32 when she had her first one- she is a PA (non-working) and her husband is an oral surgeon... they have three children now- the most recent was this past spring and she was 37 1/2... she looks 20 though and within a month her abs were washboard built again! She did have to have the last 2 as C-Sections but it was baby position not her that caused that... but just for her credit she works out religiously and played tennis until about 3 weeks before she delivered (she did stop playing competitively at 7months

I believe she really wants to have 1-2 more so we shall see! I am certainly for it as my baby now almost 8 months is soooo cute!

 

[LikeClockWork]

I don't have too much to contribute, but for what it's worth my dad was 32 when I was born (he waited until internship year to get married and, back in the day, Emergency Medicine didn't really have residency so...) I'm sure he was older than other kids my age dads, but I never noticed. He could still do all the stuff he needed to to be a good dad and he's told me he doesn't have any regrets. I guess that's just one situation, so take it for what it's worth.

 

[alwaysaangel]

Its a rough choice for every woman.

Some do it in school - its not a terrible time. So long as you can count on your husband having flexible hours or pay enough to afford daycare during your residency, because by then you'll have a 3-4 year old.

Then theres the issue of how many you want and how far apart you want them.

One option is to take a year off after medical school before matching. A lot of women do it.

Generally, from the female doctors I've spoken to I've heard that residency is the best time because you have health insurance that will cover dependents, (sometimes paid) maternity leave, and an income coming in instead of loans. Of course, if you're in an intense specialty/program you may make your fellow residents hate you.

So its all a matter of what you want and how you plan to live your life.

I have ultimately decided to wait until I'm done, but I don't plan to do a fellowship - so thats not so far off for me. I hope to get pregnant my last year of residency, or shortly after I start working. I'll be about 30.

 

[amy2003uva]

The *best* time to have a child during medical school is during your 4th year. it's filled with electives and your schedule is malleable. that being said, two friends had their first babies during 2nd year, and they are doing well. good luck!

 

[alwaysaangel]

The *best* time to have a child during medical school is during your 4th year. it's filled with electives and your schedule is malleable. that being said, two friends had their first babies during 2nd year, and they are doing well. good luck!

The problem with 4th year is you're interviewing. For one, at some point you won't be able to fly anymore - so don't get pregnant too early in the year. And for two, while residency programs can't legally discriminate against you just because you will so obviously have a young child during your first year of residency - they may subconsciously do so. It could hurt your chances at your top residency choices.

 

[Geekchick921]

My fiancee and I were discussing when would be the best time to have a baby after we get married. Right after med school is residency and then fellowship and then I'll be almost 30 and kinda old to have a first child. Is it better during school---or will that mess me up with what residencies I want? Or maybe during residency? It seems like I'd have to just make time for it. What do you guys think? Anybody with similar experience?

I'm completely in your shoes. I'm getting married in just under 6 months (May 16th) and I'm planning on starting in a few more years. We've already been together for 7 years, I'm already out of undergrad and I'll be around 30 when I graduate medical school and 33 or 34 when I'm done residency (and if I do a fellowship... you see where I'm going with this), so I don't want to wait until after residency and possibly a fellowship to start having kids. After 35 that you see the more noticeable increase in infertility and complications and I don't want to wait another decade to start a family.

I've been doing research on this. As someone else said, there are some natural breaks in medical school where you can have a baby and not need to take any time off. Residency sounds like it would be much harder to manage, especially during intern year. We want 4 kids, and I think what we'll end up doing is one pregnancy before I start, and another 1 or 2 while I'm in school, and possibly another near the end of residency, though we might space them farther apart (I don't think I want to, though).

 

[jochi1543]

Its a rough choice for every woman.

Some do it in school - its not a terrible time. So long as you can count on your husband having flexible hours or pay enough to afford daycare during your residency, because by then you'll have a 3-4 year old.

But you never know how things work out - you might end up being divorced within a year of the child's birth, and he might not give you a dime. It's always best to consider when you on your own would the best equipped to have a baby as opposed to having someone else be a huge part of the equation.

 

[Rotinaj]

My 2 cents:

Having a kid is a huge responsibility. How much time will you have to see your own child when you're in med school and residency? My parents were 33/34 when they had me, and I feel like they were really ready to be good parents. I'm afraid that if you have your child right before med school, you'll not be able to raise it very well simply due to the sheer number of hours that med school and residency demand from you. Please consider the fact that you will have to put your job before your own child if you have it now, there will be no other way to make it through your training. If you wait, you'll be settled into a job and while your child and work will still compete, you'll have more time for your child.

 

[jochi1543]

When I was pregnant at a very young 19, I went to church and congregated with a lot of women who waited until their early 30s to start having children bc they were waiting for their husbands to finish law or medical school and to be well off or whatever. I swear that about half of them were struggling with fertility issues and confessed to me their regret in waiting.

It really depends on the woman. There's no way for any of these women to say they wouldn't have had the same problems at age 20. My mother had my sister at 37 and got pregnant on the first try. My stepmother had my brothers at 32 and 34, also without any issues.

 

[t-funk]

It really depends on the woman. There's no way for any of these women to say they wouldn't have had the same problems at age 20. My mother had my sister at 37 and got pregnant on the first try. My stepmother had my brothers at 32 and 34, also without any issues.

Your stepmom and mother were very lucky. It does not always turn out that way and statistically, fertility declines after about 27 and very dramatically after about 35. Birth defects increase quite drastically after 35 also. When it comes to having kids, I would rather not play russian roulette with my body. Fertility problems have also been on the rise which some people would argue have to do with the hormones everyone is receiving from the time they are very little in meats, milk, plastics, etc. For me, and me only, it was more important to have kids and not risk infertility than to have a successful career so I chose to do that first. I can't really complain about my career so far either but that comes secondary to my kids.

The first year or two of a child's life sucks. They are sick all the time and you are constantly missing work or other obligations. It is all a personal choice, but I would rather do that when my job wasn't that important (not a doctor that needs to take care of sick patients and make it to their appointments) or while in school. It doesn't get any easier when you have a full time job that is very demanding and you are missing work all the time just bc you were older when you had kids. Wouldn't you rather have all that crap out of the way. I'm just trying to present the other side of the argument here bc it doesn't get presented very often on these forums and I am not trying to criticize anyone for their decisions in life.

Also, I don't think it is fair to say that someone is not ready to be a good parent until they are 33/34. I consider myself to have been a very good parent at 20 years old and there are some very awful parents who don't know the first thing about raising a child who waited until their thirties and until they had money. Instead of raising their children to be empathetic and decent citizens of the world, they throw money at them. I see it all the time.

 

[Hurricane95]

I apologize in advance that my response contributes nothing to the discussion at hand, but...

for some reason this thread title reminds me of a 2Pac song.

 

[Rotinaj]

Also, I don't think it is fair to say that someone is not ready to be a good parent until they are 33/34.

I mean that they were ready at that point in their lives. My mother wasn't about to have me right before law school or during her first years of law when she was cranking out ridiculous amounts of hours. Also, people who are 30 tend to be more mature and stable than people who are 20. I was amazed at how much I grew up from ages 20-25. Maybe I was just underdeveloped (I still can't grow a full beard, so who knows?).

Still, everyone is unique. If you are ready to devote yourself to your child and you happen to be young, you can be an excellent parent. If you're stuck attending med school and studying for 100 hours a week, it leaves little time for your child though is all I'm trying to say. Personally, if I already had a child, I'd find a new career path. One that led to faster money, more security and less hours because I'd want to be a part of my child's life.

Either way, this is all hypothetical, because right now I want a kid about as much as I want socialized medicine. I figure if I stay on the path I'm on (big if), perhaps after residency I'd think about kids. Assuming we aren't all made sterile by a supervirus, in which case, this will all moot.

 

[t-funk]

Being young, I was able to stay home with my older son for the first few years and when I did get a job, it was at night at a pharmaceutical company. He ended up having a speech delay and some other issues and was diagnosed with autism which was probably not a correct diagnosis. He needed a lot of help to bring him up to par with the other kids and I was able to spend a ridiculous amount of time working with him. Although he was working with speech therapists and in a special preschool by the time he was 2 and 3, he never once had to step foot in a daycare which I believe would have been quite traumatic for him. I got to pick him up every day and drop him off every day and talk to his teachers about how he was doing so I could work with him at home. Another girl in his class who had down's syndrome whose parents were very old and stable with good jobs got dropped off and picked up from the preschool by the daycare bus. I'm not sure my son would have had as good of a recovery if he had to be in a daycare and I had already had a high power demanding job but lots of money. My only point is, it doesn't get any easier to have kids by waiting and in some instances, if your child ends up having problems, it may actually be harder on you and the child.

Now that my son is older, he is basically self sufficient but I still spend a lot of time working with him on schoolwork and the two instruments he plays. Fortunately, my younger son has had no issues. I took a pay cut from my pharmaceutical job to a University position so I could work days. I am gone from the house at least 50 hours a week for work. My take home pay after taxes is just barely more than the budget allowance at medical schools. I have a job that requires a master's degree and a lot of technical experience and my income potential over the next 30 years is about that of a resident's pay and I already have 7 years of experience. I am currently working with a fresh PhD grad and will soon be working with another who I will train to be my replacement and they aren't going to make any more money than me. All I'm trying to say here is there aren't that many jobs out there that make more money or faster money (these people have PhDs), science definately does not have more security and I don't know of many jobs that do than a physician, and if you don't want to work a lot of hours you can pick a specialty where you only work about 50 hours a week. But by that time, it won't really matter to me bc my kids will be teenagers or nearly so and I already got to spend the quality time with them that they needed when they were younger. That is not to say that I won't still spend a lot of time with them.

Anyway, I always wanted to be a physician when I was younger and thought that dream was lost when I got pregnant. But life does go on and it is possible to still achieve that dream and I am just trying to present some reasons why it may have actually been beneficial to have kids younger, not trying to offend anyone that didn't.

 

[eellen3]

Hey guys,
Thanks so much for all of your great advice. I was leaning towards 4th year but now that I read that post, I def. don't want to get discriminated for it or fly with baby. The other thing that totally doesn't help is the my fiance is pre-dent and will be in dental school through all of this too.
It's really frustrating b/c it's like I have to decide between my biological duties and work duties. I've been wanting to be a physician forever but I also want to be able to do everything for my child and be there.

 

[alwaysaangel]

Hey guys,
Thanks so much for all of your great advice. I was leaning towards 4th year but now that I read that post, I def. don't want to get discriminated for it or fly with baby. The other thing that totally doesn't help is the my fiance is pre-dent and will be in dental school through all of this too.
It's really frustrating b/c it's like I have to decide between my biological duties and work duties. I've been wanting to be a physician forever but I also want to be able to do everything for my child and be there.

Well you could do it 4th year and take a year off. So you'd match a year later than your classmates. That way you would interview while you had a 1 year old at home and hopefully your husband would be done with dental school.

And don't take my word on what happens 4th year as gospel - its just something some women over at mommd said when I was considering this a few years ago.

It also depends on what specialty you'll end up in. If you're doing something like peds/FM/etc. then they're really family friendly and I doubt it would hurt you. If you're doing something more time intensive like surgery then its likely that in the back of their minds they're worried you'll pull a Sophie Currier and be a pain in the ass.

One thing some people said over at mommd regarding the 4th year too is - if you really want to have kids then then do it - and go to interviews pregnant, because you wouldn't want to go to a family unfriendly school anyway...which sort of makes sense.

Seriously go over to http://mommd.com/ and see what they have to say: probably search - its a commonly discussed thing over there. These are women who have already done it, where as those are few and far between around SDN. So their opinions are a little more knowledgeable than us 23 year olds who just theoretically know when we want kids.

 

[nonesuchgirl]

It also depends on what specialty you'll end up in. If you're doing something like peds/FM/etc. then they're really family friendly and I doubt it would hurt you. If you're doing something more time intensive like surgery then its likely that in the back of their minds they're worried you'll pull a Sophie Currier and be a pain in the ass.

Sophie Currier is a disgrace to the profession. I hope that when I get around to having kids I've got better sense than her. And a better ability to count. Who the hell wants to start residency while breast-feeding? (Ignoring all the other issues for the moment. 😉)

 

[Rotinaj]

Hey guys,
Thanks so much for all of your great advice. I was leaning towards 4th year but now that I read that post, I def. don't want to get discriminated for it or fly with baby. The other thing that totally doesn't help is the my fiance is pre-dent and will be in dental school through all of this too.
It's really frustrating b/c it's like I have to decide between my biological duties and work duties. I've been wanting to be a physician forever but I also want to be able to do everything for my child and be there.

Definately sounds like a better plan than having a child right before med school, and if your husband can back you up, then it could work out. Either way, best of luck.

 

[alwaysaangel]

Sophie Currier is a disgrace to the profession. I hope that when I get around to having kids I've got better sense than her. And a better ability to count. Who the hell wants to start residency while breast-feeding? (Ignoring all the other issues for the moment. 😉)

Especially considering she had already taken a year off - should have been breastfeeding then. Wouldn't have been that hard to time it better. I've been looking in vain for an update on her - it would be so satisfying to hear she flunked again. But I guess she should have started at MGH by now.

 

[nonesuchgirl]

Especially considering she had already taken a year off - should have been breastfeeding then. Wouldn't have been that hard to time it better. I've been looking in vain for an update on her - it would be so satisfying to hear she flunked again. But I guess she should have started at MGH by now.

Oh my gosh, me too. And I don't even feel bad about it. 😳

That kind of bs is the last thing women need, especially ones who are looking at non-girl-friendly specialties, so to speak.

 

[Virgil]

This is why I plan on waiting until/after residency for my trophy wife and trophy children. 🙂 But then again, I am a guy so I guess it's a more viable option for me (no pun intended).

 

[nonesuchgirl]

This is why I plan on waiting until/after residency for my trophy wife and trophy children. 🙂 But then again, I am a guy so I guess it's a more viable option for me (no pun intended).

I miss your slug. 🙁

That said, I plan to make my husband stay home with the kids. If I could figure out a way to make him pregnant, I'd do that, too.

 

[Virgil]

I miss your slug. 🙁

That said, I plan to make my husband stay home with the kids. If I could figure out a way to make him pregnant, I'd do that, too.

MD/PhD?

 

[nonesuchgirl]

MD/PhD?

"So, what's your research about?"
"Male pregnancy."
"Oh."

 

[MDROCKSTAR]

Just don't get pregnant during gross anatomy or your kid may have an arm growing out of his head--- just a heads up! (teratogens are bad) 😛

 

[Virgil]

"So, what's your research about?"
"Male pregnancy."
"Oh."

We'll call him...Junior.

 

[nonesuchgirl]

Just don't get pregnant during gross anatomy or your kid may have an arm growing out of his head--- just a heads up! (teratogens are bad) 😛

*snickers* I'll make a note of that.

 

[EEL08]

Who is Sophie Currier?

 

[nonesuchgirl]

Who is Sophie Currier?

She is an MIT grad who went to Harvard MS and got knocked up. When it came time to take USMLE, she failed her April test, then rescheduled. Got special accommodations for "ADD" and "severe dyslexia"- two days to take the exam instead of one. (The quotes are because I'm sceptical of her, not the actual disorders.) Then she decided she needed extra break time so she could pump or nurse. Sued the board when they wouldn't give it to her.

She got special treatment all through ug and med school. Got her way this time.

God forbid all the women who've done it without special tx. Or anyone with LD's who made it.

And I don't even want to know how she's going to handle long days and lots of cases.

(there's more on google. probably slightly more balanced. IDK, I'm pissed off.)

 

[alwaysaangel]

Who is Sophie Currier?

She pretty well covered it.

Heres the link where it was discussed on SDN if you want more info than you could ever possible care to know.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=446733

 

[amy2003uva]

Hey guys,
Thanks so much for all of your great advice. I was leaning towards 4th year but now that I read that post, I def. don't want to get discriminated for it or fly with baby. The other thing that totally doesn't help is the my fiance is pre-dent and will be in dental school through all of this too.
It's really frustrating b/c it's like I have to decide between my biological duties and work duties. I've been wanting to be a physician forever but I also want to be able to do everything for my child and be there.

If you became pregnant at the beginning of third year, you would deliver at the beginning of 4th year before interviews. Schedule easier clerkships toward the end of 3rd year, and there should not be any problems.

 

[EEL08]

Wow, that's definitely, umm, interesting. Thanks for telling me!

 

[polly-o]

get over yourself. don't scare people about having kids-lots of people have a baby when they are 30+ and that is the best choice for them. it sounds like you are trying pretty hard to validate your own choices. your choices were fine for you-but, get off trying to make it sound like they are the best for everyone.

Being young, I was able to stay home with my older son for the first few years and when I did get a job, it was at night at a pharmaceutical company. He ended up having a speech delay and some other issues and was diagnosed with autism which was probably not a correct diagnosis. He needed a lot of help to bring him up to par with the other kids and I was able to spend a ridiculous amount of time working with him. Although he was working with speech therapists and in a special preschool by the time he was 2 and 3, he never once had to step foot in a daycare which I believe would have been quite traumatic for him. I got to pick him up every day and drop him off every day and talk to his teachers about how he was doing so I could work with him at home. Another girl in his class who had down's syndrome whose parents were very old and stable with good jobs got dropped off and picked up from the preschool by the daycare bus. I'm not sure my son would have had as good of a recovery if he had to be in a daycare and I had already had a high power demanding job but lots of money. My only point is, it doesn't get any easier to have kids by waiting and in some instances, if your child ends up having problems, it may actually be harder on you and the child.

Now that my son is older, he is basically self sufficient but I still spend a lot of time working with him on schoolwork and the two instruments he plays. Fortunately, my younger son has had no issues. I took a pay cut from my pharmaceutical job to a University position so I could work days. I am gone from the house at least 50 hours a week for work. My take home pay after taxes is just barely more than the budget allowance at medical schools. I have a job that requires a master's degree and a lot of technical experience and my income potential over the next 30 years is about that of a resident's pay and I already have 7 years of experience. I am currently working with a fresh PhD grad and will soon be working with another who I will train to be my replacement and they aren't going to make any more money than me. All I'm trying to say here is there aren't that many jobs out there that make more money or faster money (these people have PhDs), science definately does not have more security and I don't know of many jobs that do than a physician, and if you don't want to work a lot of hours you can pick a specialty where you only work about 50 hours a week. But by that time, it won't really matter to me bc my kids will be teenagers or nearly so and I already got to spend the quality time with them that they needed when they were younger. That is not to say that I won't still spend a lot of time with them.

Anyway, I always wanted to be a physician when I was younger and thought that dream was lost when I got pregnant. But life does go on and it is possible to still achieve that dream and I am just trying to present some reasons why it may have actually been beneficial to have kids younger, not trying to offend anyone that didn't.

 

[t-funk]

get over yourself. don't scare people about having kids-lots of people have a baby when they are 30+ and that is the best choice for them. it sounds like you are trying pretty hard to validate your own choices. your choices were fine for you-but, get off trying to make it sound like they are the best for everyone.

I'm not really sure if you actually read my posts bc I have never once tried to validate my own choices. I would never recommend for anyone to have a child at nineteen years but in some ways it worked out and I was just trying to present a different viewpoint than a lot of people express on these forums. Most women have their first child by their mid-twenties and end up OK. I have said several times througout all of my posts that these are very personal decisions for each woman and I was not trying to offend anyone but, rather, present a different viewpoint. I would encourage you to actually read my posts before responding. I challenge you to come back and demonstrate to me where I tried to make my actions sound like the best course of action for everyone. My point throughout all of my statements was to demonstrate that life and child rearing does not get any easier if you wait and, in some instances, can be more difficult. How is presenting a different viewpoint a bad thing? I really don't think I need need to get over myself but maybe you should work on your condescending attitude.

 

[eellen3]

Just don't get pregnant during gross anatomy or your kid may have an arm growing out of his head--- just a heads up! (teratogens are bad) 😛

What teratogens are there during gross?

 

[alwaysaangel]

What teratogens are there during gross?

Apparently theres some evidence that formaldehyde=not so good for the fetus in the first trimester.

Its not definitive by any means, but most women are safe rather than sorry.

Apparently a girl got pregnant in the class above me during gross anatomy last year and basically wore this space suit thing for the rest of lab.

 

[Writer1985]

Apparently theres some evidence that formaldehyde=not so good for the fetus in the first trimester.

Its not definitive by any means, but most women are safe rather than sorry.

Apparently a girl got pregnant in the class above me during gross anatomy last year and basically wore this space suit thing for the rest of lab.

I don't think most schools use formaldehyde anymore. We use phenol, which is apparently safe (but smells worse). That said, the course director said that anyone who finds out she is pregnant should inform him ASAP so they can implement the correct precautions.

 

[VoiceofReason]

My advice is to never have children. They're horrible little things.

Combine the intelligence of a dog with the ability to eat and drink things from the cabinets. There, thats a human child.

 

[nonesuchgirl]

My advice is to never have children. They're horrible little things.

Combine the intelligence of a dog with the ability to eat and drink things from the cabinets. There, thats a human child.

I think that's a child-by-child thing. I know a couple of brilliant four-year-olds, they're the light of my life. 🙂

 

[nka1985]

I miss your slug. 🙁

That said, I plan to make my husband stay home with the kids. If I could figure out a way to make him pregnant, I'd do that, too.

That's what I'm planning too. I'm getting married in March, then we're going to wait on kids until I enter residency. We've talked about it, and he's either going to work part-time, or be a stay at home daddy for a while. We want two kids, and I'll barely be 26 when I get out of med school, so we should realistically be able to have at least one of the two kids we want before I turn 30.

Although if anyone can figure out a way to make him pregnant, let me know. 😉 I sure wouldn't mind not gaining a bunch of wait and having morning sickness.

 

[alwaysaangel]

I don't think most schools use formaldehyde anymore. We use phenol, which is apparently safe (but smells worse). That said, the course director said that anyone who finds out she is pregnant should inform him ASAP so they can implement the correct precautions.

Hmm, I'm pretty sure our school still uses formaldehyde. But you may be right maybe its getting phased out.

But either way - they never definitively proved it caused birth defects - its always been more of a concern, what if...

 

[nonesuchgirl]

She pretty well covered it.

Heres the link where it was discussed on SDN if you want more info than you could ever possible care to know.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=446733

Looks like she passed? http://www.massgeneral.org/pathology/train/staff.htm has her listed.

 

[alwaysaangel]

Looks like she passed? http://www.massgeneral.org/pathology/train/staff.htm has her listed.

Good job - you found what I've been looking for for days - I even tried the MGH site - I suck at internet.

Darn - oh well.

 

[montessori2md]

Have a kid already, could, under the right circumstances, be convinced to do it again😛

Here are the variables:
1) pregnancy could be difficult for you (I'd put that on the less likely end of the spectrum if you're under 30, but whatever, it could happen)
2) baby could be a difficult baby (either behavior or illness)
3) baby could become high maintenance child (see 2).

For me, it was mostly 1 and 2. I had horrendous all day AM sickness, and I can't imagine trying to study at med school level, or be around anything smelly, under those circumstances. Baby was awesome, but a lousy sleeper, and once again, I think that would be tough to take when you are professionally under duress. Now he's a piece of cake (4 is a great year).

For myself, I would want the easiest schedule possible for the first 2 years of baby's life, and to not need to think too hard during the pregnancy (all those hormones, the increased blood flow, the throwing up, they made me stupid).

I think I'd probably schedule the easier clerkships at the end of 3rd year, try to get pregnant 3rd year, and then take off a year after 4th year to do research or something else cushy, then start intern year one year late, when baby is at least 18 months old. The couple of months before intern year, I'd want hubby/mom/mother-in-law/all-of-the-above very available, or for junior to start day care then, so that his/her schedule was very established when I actually started. That support system stays in place through intern year, de-escalating as necessary.

Or, you just wait till intern year is complete, and choose a residency where the PGY2+ aren't crazy hours.

I don't think 30 is too old. I do believe age affects parenting style, for better or for worse, but so do lots of other factors, like your upbringing. Most 30+ parents I know tend to have a harder time saying "no" to their children, and fuss over them more than I would, but then, a lot of the under-30 set I know have a hard time paying the bills and being patient w/ their children (myself included there). Maybe that's maturity, but it could also be that those 30+ were so terrified they'd never have a child, that said child is up on a higher pedestal.