Having a Rough Time With School

[Chevy Chase Fan]

I'm pretty miserable being back in school right now. I'm having a hard time dealing with the thought that this might all be for nothing (I don't get in), and that I could just end up older and less employable when this whole endeavor is over. I have a part time job right now, but its nothing with real career potential. The fact that I'm taking chem and physics right now has me even more on edge. Physical sciences make me more nervous than biological sciences.

I'm having a rough time being around these younger kids. I feel like they're gonna surpass me or something, its hard to explain. Its like I have no identity when I'm in class with them, I feel like a failure instead of someone whose accomplished the kinds of things they'd like to do one day.

Its tough to stick with this. Just had to get this off my chest.

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[Kalamazoo]

School is tough and chemistry and physics, especially when taken together, are intimidating for most people. Going to school will not make you less employable in any way. It sounds like you're just out of your comfort zone and that's okay. You will get over being older than everyone else. If this is what you want, just stick with it and try to change your thought process... think "I WILL go to medical school." If you think you might not then well, you might not.

 

[akinetopsia]

I can understand what you're saying, but you can't let yourself think negative thoughts like that. Your experience and age is an asset in the application process and the back to school thing is really what you make of it.

For some nontrads, actually most I think, we tend to gravitate towards each other in classes. In one of my labs, my bench was composed of: 29 at the time, pre-med M (me), a 27 y/o pre-dent M, a 40 y/o pre-dent F, and a 26 y/o pre-med F. That wasn't the only lab/lecture where I ended up with other non-trads. And it's not that I haven't worked with younger classmates, that has definitely happened as well.

The real solution is to reach out to them, and just because they are young, don't assume anything about what they like/dislike or what they are probably like or what experience they have, because people are full of surprises. You may relate to them better than you think.

Try to stay positive. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and I promise it isn't a train.

 

[Lefty Doodle]

Hi,
I felt that way when I was just starting out. I felt like my heart was racing for 2 straight months until I got both of my bio grades back. I was appalled that I'd have to spend a year with these little people who exclusively talk about tv shows (is it just this newer generation? I don't remember this being the case even in college...).

But basically, you will find, there isn't much you can't learn without a little hard work. I don't consider myself especially talented in these subjects but I worked my BUTT off and got straight A's in the summer (took both gen chems too). And you'll see that even those these kids seem so smart they also go out and party and stuff. Some of them are smart enough to party AND get 100% on the tests, most of them aren't. There's a whole range of work ethic and intelligence levels you'll see but you can and should have the work ethic thing working for you--which is really what almost everyone needs to succeed.

Also you'll get used to the kids. I met with someone who had done a similar DIY post-bacc before I came here and I expressed dismay at being with 19 year olds. He was like "oh, I really enjoyed it, they made me feel young again." So I began viewing it that way and it's true. The things they don't know yet about the world are really refreshing--they believe really pure versions of like love and humanity ;-). It's been really nice.

Ok, kick butt and have fun!

Elizabeth

 

[CW 2010]

I felt (feel) the same way going back to college and being one of the older students. It's a bit uncomfortable. But:

1) Try not care how old you are and how old other people in the class are. Just do your thing.

2) In every class (or almost every class) there are a couple of older students. Stick with them. They are likely to be focused on the studies and determined to reach their goals. They will be an inspiration and a positive influence to you.

3) Some 19 y/olds are more mature than 45 y/olds. They are fine to work/study with.

Good luck! Keep your chin up!

 

[EntesSchwester]

I feel the same way sometimes, but over the last year back in school I start feeling way more comfortable. I know that 80% of the students are younger than me, some even still in their late teens. But I turned out to have quite a few "friends" that were 7,8, even 9 years younger than me. I'm 29 and my best study partner in BIO was a running start and sweet 17. I mean these cases are rare but possible. She was an extremly bright girl.
Obviously, things like meeting outside of school just for the sake of it doesn't happen. Many don't relate to me in their out-of-school activities. I have a child, most of the young kids don't and want to go party. But for study purposes they work great! And there are always students that are my age or older.
BTW I don't believe at all that the younger kids will surpass you. Some are smarter some aren't but this doesn't have anything to do with age. Some 17-year-old may be a genius, but he most likely doesn't have the life experience you have. There's no smarter but there's a wiser.

 

[ruraldocmom]

When I started going back to school initially it was really tough because I had a hard time letting go of the competitiveness that tells you that the sooner you do something the better... if you are doing it later, then you've lost the advantage...

Anyway, it took me a while to realize that the life experience counts for a lot. I knew how to study, I knew how to prioritize studying (time away from my kids needs to be really efficient!), and I knew that I had to talk to people in order to have someone's notes to borrow if I had to miss class!

I agree with what a lot of people have said above. I work with a few immature 40-50 year olds who think they are still in some kind of fraternity. And I work with some brilliant 18-year olds who are rock-solid. Its a spectrum across all ages, and its tougher to find things to talk about, but what are you doing this weekend? What did you think about that test? always worked well for me.

All that to say, it is miserable initially, but I think you'll find that new material (espeically physics and chemistry!) is challenging for everybody, and that they probably think your life story would be fascinating.

 

[TriagePreMed]

I'm going to be a bit harsh here and say you must find a way with coping with your insecurity. No matter what career you choose, you will age and some people that are younger may be smarter, brighter, or may just know more about one topic or another.

All this mumbo jumbo people are giving you about being wiser and all that is to help you find ways to feel superior to younger students. The goal is not to feel superior but to accept your limitations and be happy for others as you would wish others would be happy for a better ability you have.

 

[MCAT guy]

I'm going to be a bit harsh here and say you must find a way with coping with your insecurity. No matter what career you choose, you will age and some people that are younger may be smarter, brighter, or may just know more about one topic or another.

All this mumbo jumbo people are giving you about being wiser and all that is to help you find ways to feel superior to younger students. The goal is not to feel superior but to accept your limitations and be happy for others as you would wish others would be happy for a better ability you have.

Building worth or value =/= feeling superior to others

 

[ruraldocmom]

Building worth or value =/= feeling superior to others

Exactly... I hope not reading too much into what he said, but he didn't say he wanted to feel superior to anyone--and I don't think anyone here is trying to make him feel superior.

He's just going through the same tough transition--starting over from scratch--that most of us are going through or have gone through. And its tough to go from super-competent-expert to lowly-starting-over-person. I think its important to remember who you are/where you come from to be confident in any new endeavour--and I don't think that means you are superior to anyone else--just self-aware.

 

[QofQuimica]

OP, what you are trying to do is risky, no doubt about it. You're not following the beaten path, and yes, there is a real chance you could fail. It takes tremendous courage to face the potential of failure and go forward anyway.

Here's what helps me:

First, do your homework. You can't control every possible contingency out there, but what you *can* do is prepare yourself as much as possible so that you maximize your chances of success. You're having trouble with physics and chemistry? Time to figure out what you need to do to make it happen. Maybe it's a study group. Maybe it's the prof's office hours. Maybe it's a tutor. Maybe it's completing every question in the chapter. Do some trial and error, and figure out how to get through the courses with B+'s at minimum.

Second, have a plan B. If you don't get in, will you work for a year and reapply? Will you do something else instead?

Third, don't do things half-a**ed. If you're going to be a premed, then be a premed like you really mean it. Give getting into med school the best effort you are capable of.

Right now, I am applying for residency. Am I scared? You betcha. I've invested a lot of blood, sweat and tears into medical school. If I don't get into a residency, this MD I'm getting will basically be worthless. Earlier this week, I registered for the NRMP, which is the organization that does the matching for residency. I just signed a binding contract to go wherever the NRMP's computer algorithm picks for me come March. There is a possibility that I will match to the last choice on my list. There is a possibility that I won't get enough interviews, that I won't match anywhere, that I'll have to scramble into some program that didn't fill and may not even be in the specialty I'm applying for. It's a small chance, but it happens to people. Every spring there are threads about it on SDN. I know a few people who failed to match in person, too. But not trying just because there is a chance I might fail is not an acceptable option. I am giving it my very best shot, and if do I fail, I have a plan B, and even a plan C, actually.

If you really want to be a doctor, then the best advice I can give you is to dig down inside yourself and find the courage to try. Acknowledge your fears, do what you can to maximize success and minimize failure, and give it your very best effort. You can make your odds of success a lot higher than you realize.

Best of luck.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Building worth or value =/= feeling superior to others

"Building worth or value" through pumping oneself about how one is more wise or something of that nature is to pump oneself by creating a feeling of superiority.

 

[akinetopsia]

I'm going to be a bit harsh here and say you must find a way with coping with your insecurity. No matter what career you choose, you will age and some people that are younger may be smarter, brighter, or may just know more about one topic or another.

All this mumbo jumbo people are giving you about being wiser and all that is to help you find ways to feel superior to younger students. The goal is not to feel superior but to accept your limitations and be happy for others as you would wish others would be happy for a better ability you have.

I didn't see anyone offering help in the way of insinuating that there are ways to make non-trads feel superior to their younger classmates. Non-trads are superior to younger classmates in one major way: we have more wrinkles. One poster mentioned "wiser" and even wiser doesn't mean someone is superior to someone else.

Most posts are actually giving decent advice, mainly to not worry about what everyone else is doing or that they're younger or smarter than you, and to get to know your classmates. Most people have fairly interesting stories to tell if you get to know them. Also, it's pretty true that most non-trads have more real-life experience than younger traditional students. That in and of itself does not make us superior, it just means that we've done our own taxes for longer (or paid someone to do it for us!), we've had more successes and failures, we've been through more heartbreak, we remember 28.8k modems (or slower!), for some of us it means we've been married (possibly divorced), maybe had a kid or two or three, and had another career we left to become a newbie pre-med...

 

[TriagePreMed]

I didn't see anyone offering help in the way of insinuating that there are ways to make non-trads feel superior to their younger classmates. Non-trads are superior to younger classmates in one major way: we have more wrinkles. One poster mentioned "wiser" and even wiser doesn't mean someone is superior to someone else.

Most posts are actually giving decent advice, mainly to not worry about what everyone else is doing or that they're younger or smarter than you, and to get to know your classmates. Most people have fairly interesting stories to tell if you get to know them. Also, it's pretty true that most non-trads have more real-life experience than younger traditional students. That in and of itself does not make us superior, it just means that we've done our own taxes for longer (or paid someone to do it for us!), we've had more successes and failures, we've been through more heartbreak, we remember 28.8k modems (or slower!), for some of us it means we've been married (possibly divorced), maybe had a kid or two or three, and had another career we left to become a newbie pre-med...

Yes, most post are positive. I don't see why the over focus on my interpretation of what that kind of advice entails. I guess it's simply the heart of SDN to abandon the topic at hand for menial disagreements.

 

[Jlaw]

I'm pretty miserable being back in school right now. I'm having a hard time dealing with the thought that this might all be for nothing (I don't get in), and that I could just end up older and less employable when this whole endeavor is over. I have a part time job right now, but its nothing with real career potential. The fact that I'm taking chem and physics right now has me even more on edge. Physical sciences make me more nervous than biological sciences.

I'm having a rough time being around these younger kids. I feel like they're gonna surpass me or something, its hard to explain. Its like I have no identity when I'm in class with them, I feel like a failure instead of someone whose accomplished the kinds of things they'd like to do one day.

Its tough to stick with this. Just had to get this off my chest.

Thats totally normal, I'm sure just about anyone going back to school feels the same way. I don't think it matters what your age is. The 25yr old probably feels just as out of place being in a mostly freshman science class as a 40yr old does.

Like someone else said, seek out the other non trads and post baccs. I find that at my school we gravitate towards each other and work together since we are usually more focused and tend to do better than the regular undergrads. I also notice that many of the very motivated undergrads tend to gravitate towards the post bacc students, probably because they see us as more mature and motivated. All in all you will probably find yourself building alot of friendships as time progresses.

Remember that this is your life now, you are a student again. You need to embrace that and not think of yourself as just dabbling in this while your previous life is on hold. Like Q said, don't half ass it, you only get one shot.

Physics and chem are tough but put in the time and practice problems. Look at class as a game, you have to figure out what the prof wants and deliver.

 

[TylerJ]

Trudge through it my fellow non-trad!

Keep in mind many of those young kids, are purely in school because they do not have the slightest idea of what they want to do; whereas, you with your experience have concluded on the path toward becoming a doctor. A long arduous path, but ultimately very rewarding. Some of those sudents will fail out due to lack of ambition and desire, and attend school again like yourself, but many will never return to school. The attrition rates of new traditional students are higher than what most would conclude on their own. Consider yourself lucky for deriving the will to attend school again; it isn't easy to put yourself through the rigors of school once you've worked for awhile--give yourself a pat on the back for that.

Yes, some students are super focused on a career from the gecko, but not as many as you lead yourself to believe.

Only worry about what you need to do to accomplish what you want to do. Regret, worry and envy are horrible ways to spend your time.

I have my days where I think the way you originally posted, but the further I go through school, the less I think about such things. Also, it is a considerable waste of time to think about such things when I should be studying.

My two cents, hope I gave you some sense of relief.

 

[carl414]

I returned to college at 32 with premed in my head. I didn't know what to expect, but figured it couldn't be that hard to just study. Well, let me tell you, I was wrong. I don't remember/learn like I used to. I have to work twice as hard as I did when I was 22. I've essentially destroyed my gpa in the last year of school (2.1 gpa) because I thought I could take classes while still working full time, running a business on the side, and have a family w. two daughters. I was WRONG. I grossly underestimated college work. I've taken the last year off to regroup, and thankfully this spring will be able to return and not have to work while studying. If I'm going to have aaanyy chance at a med school acceptance I have to rock 4.0's from here on out. Even then I'm afraid that MD may be out of the question. I'll have to retake several classes, and DO schools are more forgiving about those matters.
Point is, it wasn't the school, or other younger students that beat me up - it was the course work - and that makes us all equal.

 

[MCAT guy]

Yes, most post are positive. I don't see why the over focus on my interpretation of what that kind of advice entails. I guess it's simply the heart of SDN to abandon the topic at hand for menial disagreements.

!!!!!

 

[MCAT guy]

 

[MCAT guy]

OP, what you are trying to do is risky, no doubt about it. You're not following the beaten path, and yes, there is a real chance you could fail. It takes tremendous courage to face the potential of failure and go forward anyway.

Here's what helps me:

First, do your homework. You can't control every possible contingency out there, but what you *can* do is prepare yourself as much as possible so that you maximize your chances of success. You're having trouble with physics and chemistry? Time to figure out what you need to do to make it happen. Maybe it's a study group. Maybe it's the prof's office hours. Maybe it's a tutor. Maybe it's completing every question in the chapter. Do some trial and error, and figure out how to get through the courses with B+'s at minimum.

Second, have a plan B. If you don't get in, will you work for a year and reapply? Will you do something else instead?

Third, don't do things half-a**ed. If you're going to be a premed, then be a premed like you really mean it. Give getting into med school the best effort you are capable of.

Right now, I am applying for residency. Am I scared? You betcha. I've invested a lot of blood, sweat and tears into medical school. If I don't get into a residency, this MD I'm getting will basically be worthless. Earlier this week, I registered for the NRMP, which is the organization that does the matching for residency. I just signed a binding contract to go wherever the NRMP's computer algorithm picks for me come March. There is a possibility that I will match to the last choice on my list. There is a possibility that I won't get enough interviews, that I won't match anywhere, that I'll have to scramble into some program that didn't fill and may not even be in the specialty I'm applying for. It's a small chance, but it happens to people. Every spring there are threads about it on SDN. I know a few people who failed to match in person, too. But not trying just because there is a chance I might fail is not an acceptable option. I am giving it my very best shot, and if do I fail, I have a plan B, and even a plan C, actually.

If you really want to be a doctor, then the best advice I can give you is to dig down inside yourself and find the courage to try. Acknowledge your fears, do what you can to maximize success and minimize failure, and give it your very best effort. You can make your odds of success a lot higher than you realize.

Best of luck.

Come on Q, you's a superstar! You know you will get a bunch of offers yo!

 

[QofQuimica]

Come on Q, you's a superstar! You know you will get a bunch of offers yo!

The way the match works, you only get one offer in mid-March, and you're required to accept it. That's assuming things go well.

Whether you call me a "superstar" tongue-in-cheek or not, I still have my fears and doubts just like everyone else does. There are things I'm not very good at that I know I need to get better at. There are times when I do the wrong thing, and there are times when I fail at something. I'm just doing my darnedest to make sure that this isn't one of them.

 

[ProjectMac]

The fact that I'm taking chem and physics right now has me even more on edge. Physical sciences make me more nervous than biological sciences.

the best advice I can give having a completed chemistry degree with a 4.0 in the major's classes: don't just study for a test and out of your book, study a subject or a concept as if you were trying to learn it outside of a class for your own knowledge, really understand it, don't just memorize ways to solve problems. Read everything you can find on the internet about the concepts, everything in your school's library, don't just study out of your text book and notes. And if you ever don't understand a concept 100% it isn't good enough to be ready for an exam, go into more detail on your own than they teach you in class. I hope this helps.

 

[CookDeRosa]

I'm having a rough time being around these younger kids. I feel like they're gonna surpass me or something, its hard to explain. Its like I have no identity when I'm in class with them, I feel like a failure instead of someone whose accomplished the kinds of things they'd like to do one day.

Its tough to stick with this. Just had to get this off my chest.

I can SO relate to this, in fact, I was having a bit of a breakdown last night about it. I hate being new, I hate being around some young people. *sorry just being honest- it's the generation gap. In my field I'm respected and seasoned. For me, seriously, that screws with me more than the academics. I don't know how you're working through it, but I'm aware that I need to get over it ASAP, because it WILL likely be an issue for any career changer.