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Having Children

Discussion in 'Spouses and Partners' started by Ant098, Nov 14, 2005.

  1. Ant098

    Ant098 New Member

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    My wife is currently in her 1st year of medical school and I am in the process of finishing up my school and wont be done for another 4 yrs. When would be a good time to have children would you say? She is going to be a OB/GYN. Any info would be appreciated.
     
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  3. kassie

    kassie Senior Member
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    No time is a good time. Some times are less bad than others... It also depends on what school you are finishing up and how involved you intend to be and your ages...
     
  4. lovemydrhubby

    lovemydrhubby Senior Member
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    I completely agree with Kassie.

    There is no perfect time to have children.... in medicine or any other time really. It's rumored that the 2nd and 4th yrs of med school are easier times for planning babies. I'd also add intern yr (1st yr residency) to the "no" list for kids.

    Ultimately, you just need to carefully examine your individual situation with your spouse. Only you two can decide what's best. You can make any timing work in reality, but if you sit down and "plan" it may be easier in the long run.
    Things to keep in mind while planning- and these are all pretty obvious
    - Schedule- yours and hers during the pregnancy as well as postpartum period
    - Who will care for the baby during the day if you are in school? Will you need daycare? How will you afford it?
    - Along the same lines, do you have medical coverage for your family and other money needed for raising a child? (I'm really pretty frugal and practical so I think there are definitely ways to cut costs in raising kids, but it's still pretty expensive)
    - What are your priorities? Your wife's? Do you want to establish your career first above anything else? Are you willing to take a bit longer in med school or a residency to spend time with your baby?
    - Do you have family/support system nearby?

    There are so many questions to discuss and timing the baby is a bit overrated! Just go with your gut and you can't go wrong. If you are ready for a baby and know you can love and provide for it- you can. It just takes a bit of organization and communication to really get a plan for the new baby.

    As I mentioned above, timing isn't everything. We had our daughters apparently at "bad" times (from conventional advice saying 2nd and 4th are easiest). #1 was born a few months before he started first year (undergrad finals week to be exact) and #2 a month into 3rd yr clincals.
     
  5. FrkyBgStok

    10+ Year Member

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    you will NEVER be properly prepared for a kid an NO TIME is a good time. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but our lives have changed with future and everyday things. i have to strategically plan out my next few years with my wife so we can hit the perfect cycle for the kids, daycare, more kids, babysitting, med school, etc. And i have to plan to go to the store. kids change your life so much, but it is totally worth it for me. I go to school full time and work 40 hours per week at least and my wife does the exact same thing. i spend time with my daughter and get about 4-6 hours of sleep every single night (not some nights), but i wouldn't change it if someone paid me.
     
  6. RossFamily

    RossFamily Member
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    My husband and I started school with a 3 month old and got pregnant again right away. We have two that are 12 months apart. 4months after #2 was born we got preggers for #3. Has it been hard....yes! Is it stressfull at times.....yes! Do we have WAY less money than many other students...OH yes!!! Is it totally worth it....you betcha'!!! Wouldnt change it for anything. A wise friend once told me, "if you wait to have kids until you're ready or can afford them, you will never have them". That is the best advice I can give you. What ever you decide....best of luck!
     
  7. toofache32

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    How in the world can a 1st year student in the first semester know she wants to do OB/GYN?
     
  8. Wifty

    Wifty Eccentrically Silly
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    I agree with the other posters - 2nd and 4rth have a bit more freedom schedule wise.

    THAT said - your timing plan isn't always what happens. It took us over 3.5 years to actually having a tyke and I know others that tried to plan it in the best time-frame, and it didnt' work out.

    Luckily, age-frames for having children is greater then it used to be - for example, it is not as unusual to be 35 having a first child, nor is it as unhealthy.

    So, plan if you want to, just know that there is only so much control you have sometimes over the plan. Perfecting the plan is always fun though. ;)

    With smiles,
    Wifty
     
  9. APACHE3

    APACHE3 Senior Member
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    I'm finishing senior year, I have 4 y/o and 1.5 y/o. its been extremely difficult to balance studies and family life. BUT.....like the others said, I wouldn't do it any other way! GL
     
  10. LiveLoveFartRepeat

    LiveLoveFartRepeat LiveLoveFartRepeat
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    We have a 10 month boy that we tried to plan as much as we could...

    and We got pregnant just when we had decide that it was too late according to our plans for me to get pregnant

    but God's time is the best...I end up just taking one pcat test out of 3 chances....went to my interview with a 2 weeks old baby..

    Everybody was looking at me like I must have been on something or a crazy woman to show up at such an important day with husband and new born following me everywhere.

    ...but again God's time is the best..today I am a P-1 and school with kid and a husband oversea...it's not that bad...

    Just one advice..plan as much as you want and can but keep in mind that ...God's time is the best...accept what ever happen whenever it happens!!!

    Good luck
     

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