Having it all

[TheNewGuy8]

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Hi all,

So a year ago I decided I wanted to go into medicine and signed up for med school pre reqs from my local university extension program. Then I got freaked out about how doing med school would mean I'd give up my social life, any chance of finding a partner and/or having kids and being able to be a very attentive father, and would, at the end of it, be stuck with a job where I had to work 70 hours/week. So I decided that for my interest area (family practice with an emphasis on complementary/holistic medicine [all evidence-based of course]) doing an NP program made more sense for my stage of life (I'm 27).

I did my NP pre reqs over the past year but as I've been doing my applications this fall I've come face to face with the fact that I don't see myself being satisfied in this field with a mid-level position. So I'm reconsidering med school.

However - I remain committed to having a full and balanced life. I love studying medicine (I could sort of take or leave the chem and physics and all that, but I LOVE A&P and pathology and actual med school classes). I'm coming up against a huge amount of pessimism in the field and I want to know that I can have it all. I know I can do pre reqs and still have a life. I'm doing that now, and the way I figure it I'll only have to do 2 pre req classes at a time (With labs) since there's no way I can apply this summer.

In Med school - I want to know that I can still have some evenings free to hang out with friends and pursue artistic endeavors. Plus during this whole process I'll be looking to find a partner and maybe eventually start a family (that would probably be closer to residency). I don't want to set myself up where I begin down this path and then realize I've crippled my ability to do all of these other things that I know will make me happy.

My specialty goal is Family Practice, and I'm considering DO programs since my passions lie more to the holistic side of things.

I'm mostly looking for some confirmation that there are schools out there that are not masochistic and there are residencies for family practice that don't require 80 hours/week for 3 years.

Can anyone speak to this? Thanks all!

 

[FrkyBgStok]

i would reconsider the NP path. It may not be what you want to hear, but residency is brutal, the first 2 years of med school are manageable but brutal, and the next 2 years are way brutal. I would say, if you want a lifestyle, stay out of medicine. From what I gather from your post, you want a normal life, which you won't get in medicine. Seriously, I would try to convince myself to "live for the weekend" in a midlevel position if I were in your shoes.

 

[futuredocandmom]

I decided to be a physician after having taken pre-reqs to be an NP. I'm a few years older than you, and also very dedicated to having a balanced life and a family. That being said, I love this field and also find working hard to be extremely gratifying. I love challenges, and find that working hard at something I believe in provides me with a sense of fulfilling my potential as a human being. Knowing myself, I'd end up working very hard in whatever field I'd end up in, and as you decribe your passion for the clinical coursework such as A&P, I found myself curious and wanting to know more about organic chemistry and physiology.

I talked with a lot of people about the decision over the course of a few months, and I thought very carefully about my own feelings and perspective before proceeding with additional pre-reqs.

I would say to at least think very seriously about going for physician, as it sounds to me as if that's where your heart is.

 

[Scottish Chap]

Hi all,

So a year ago I decided I wanted to go into medicine and signed up for med school pre reqs from my local university extension program. Then I got freaked out about how doing med school would mean I'd give up my social life, any chance of finding a partner and/or having kids and being able to be a very attentive father, and would, at the end of it, be stuck with a job where I had to work 70 hours/week. So I decided that for my interest area (family practice with an emphasis on complementary/holistic medicine [all evidence-based of course]) doing an NP program made more sense for my stage of life (I'm 27).

I did my NP pre reqs over the past year but as I've been doing my applications this fall I've come face to face with the fact that I don't see myself being satisfied in this field with a mid-level position. So I'm reconsidering med school.

However - I remain committed to having a full and balanced life. I love studying medicine (I could sort of take or leave the chem and physics and all that, but I LOVE A&P and pathology and actual med school classes). I'm coming up against a huge amount of pessimism in the field and I want to know that I can have it all. I know I can do pre reqs and still have a life. I'm doing that now, and the way I figure it I'll only have to do 2 pre req classes at a time (With labs) since there's no way I can apply this summer.

In Med school - I want to know that I can still have some evenings free to hang out with friends and pursue artistic endeavors. Plus during this whole process I'll be looking to find a partner and maybe eventually start a family (that would probably be closer to residency). I don't want to set myself up where I begin down this path and then realize I've crippled my ability to do all of these other things that I know will make me happy.

My specialty goal is Family Practice, and I'm considering DO programs since my passions lie more to the holistic side of things.

I'm mostly looking for some confirmation that there are schools out there that are not masochistic and there are residencies for family practice that don't require 80 hours/week for 3 years.

Can anyone speak to this? Thanks all!

Huge problem right there. Balance is great, but medical school will just bury you mercilessly unless it gets most of your attention - and that's just to secure a pass...forget about doing well if you're not 100% committed. Also, medical school is a joke compared to residency where you now have real responsibility and sickness does not respect your personal goals, or when you last ate, slept, or urinated. I would not go any further if I were in your shoes what this mindset. Getting into any medical school is a commitment to a massive amount of work - there's no free lunch, and no school that will treat you gently. We all take the same national exams. Sorry to be such a downer.

 

[Valadi]

I wouldn't completely write med school off. The fact is that there are plenty of people who manage to have families in medicine. If you're looking to become chair of a department of vascular surgery, you're likely not going to be able to 'have it all' without a lot of sacrifices. That being said, there are some residencies (PM&R, for example) that tend to have less demanding schedules. Although their residencies are still demanding, EM & hospitalists also have more manageable lifestyles.

Medical school is no cake walk, and although you will spend most of your days and evenings with a book, there is no reason that you can not make it out with friends Friday and Saturday night (unless it's an exam week....). You just really have to up your time management skills.

And who knows, you might find that special someone in med school, and then the time management won't be as much of an issue!

 

[EdLongshanks]

I wouldn't completely write med school off. The fact is that there are plenty of people who manage to have families in medicine. If you're looking to become chair of a department of vascular surgery, you're likely not going to be able to 'have it all' without a lot of sacrifices. That being said, there are some residencies (PM&R, for example) that tend to have less demanding schedules. Although their residencies are still demanding, EM & hospitalists also have more manageable lifestyles.

Medical school is no cake walk, and although you will spend most of your days and evenings with a book, there is no reason that you can not make it out with friends Friday and Saturday night (unless it's an exam week....). You just really have to up your time management skills.

And who knows, you might find that special someone in med school, and then the time management won't be as much of an issue!

I don't know about your school, but I have an exam every week and there is no way that I can spend multiple evenings free. An occasional Friday is all that is possible for me. I've heard of students who don't have to study that much, but those are either people with extensive exposure to medicine or biology, previously, or excellent studies who memorize facts with one exposure. Most people aren't like that.

 

[MamaVis]

I am currently a professor of anatomy (considering going back to school for medicine) and my good friend is an ER physician, and she definitely has more family time and free evenings than I do right now. She watches my kids for me so I can get my work done in the evenings! However, she tells stories about her time in residency that really illustrate how brutal that time was. I think you could look forward to a reasonably normal life if you can get through residency without much free time at all.

 

[ShyRem]

Residency: I average 70-75 hours a week at work, and then there's studying on top of that for presentations, current research reviews, assigned talks, etc. A light week is only 56-60 hours and it feels like I'm on vacation. Really. That being said, an entire weekend off feels like a vacation at this point. The time requirements are pretty brutal, but the time you have off feels like it is so much longer. I definitely have more of a life now mostly because I don't waste my time as much. I make most of my son's cross-country meets (some are at 3pm during the week and I wouldn't be making those at a "regular" job anyway), I go shopping with my daughter for dresses, I help with their homework, I make dinner, I go shopping, etc. I don't however, go to the spa or take 3 hours to get my hair done. I do take time to work on my daughter's car with her, sand a bed I'm making with my husband, and other endeavors with my family and friends. Regarding finding a spouse, there were at least a dozen marriages in my med school years, and those so far have all stayed together. To be fair, there were also 6 divorces from pre-med school marriages that didn't last. The partners just didn't understand the time constraints and were very high maintenance folks. Choose your partner wisely as the time constraints don't change - but your use of the time you have does change.

You need to figure out if you want to be an NP or a physician. They are quite different. Will you be content as a mid-level, or do you want to be at the top? Are you ok with staffing everything and working under someone else or do you want to be calling the shots? No matter which you do, there will be demands on your time. I think it really comes down to where you want to end up.

 

[mafunk]

Residency: I average 70-75 hours a week at work, and then there's studying on top of that for presentations, current research reviews, assigned talks, etc. .

70 - 75 hours per week at work... I've did that for years. BUT.... you also have to study on top of that ! How do you manage to have a life? How many hours a week do you study in addition to your 75 hours at work?

 

[Valadi]

I don't know about your school, but I have an exam every week and there is no way that I can spend multiple evenings free. An occasional Friday is all that is possible for me. I've heard of students who don't have to study that much, but those are either people with extensive exposure to medicine or biology, previously, or excellent studies who memorize facts with one exposure. Most people aren't like that.

Every week? That sucks, sorry man. We have blocks of 6-8 weeks, so the first couple are usually pretty cush, and the last 2 are intense.

 

[EdLongshanks]

Every week? That sucks, sorry man. We have blocks of 6-8 weeks, so the first couple are usually pretty cush, and the last 2 are intense.

Yeah, I don't like it. I love the school, but the curriculum has negative pressure. We started Anatomy 2 days before the official start of school and had our first test on the back and neck on Friday of week 4. In week 5 we had an Anatomy lab test and our first Biochem test. In week 6 we had our first histology lecture and lab test. Week 7 we had our second Biochem test and now (week 8) we have our first OMM test and our second Anatomy test on the upper limb and thorax. Next week we have Anatomy lab and Histology lecture and lab.

Edit: Oh, and I forgot the OMM practical last week. So I guess its about a test every 5 or 6 days.