Having kids?

[Glimmer1991]

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Particularly to all the women on this forum--if you could choose, when would you want to have kids?

I want to have one child, possibly two. When you think about school and starting a practice, though, it just seems so hard to work it all out.

Of course, it's never going to be easy, and it's hard to have a "right" time. But when do you all think would be best?

I see this discussed often among women in medical school... but our path is pretty different. We don't have a residency, but I'd say that we generally have to worry about starting our own practices more quickly. We also don't have as many feasible options to make great money while not being self-employed.

Guys... Feel free to chime in if your wife (or future wife) will have a similarly demanding job. 🙂

 

[LFA20]

what's the point of this thread....

 

[Glimmer1991]

what's the point of this thread....

*major eyeroll right now*

What's the point of your comment?

 

[Member 6236]

From the women I know, they all waited to have kids until they had their own practice. So early 30s? Which is fine if you only want 1-2 kids. I'd pop em out before 35 for sure tho!

 

[Glimmer1991]

Once you start your own practice, I wonder how long it generally needs to be "up and running" before it makes any sense to go on maternity leave for a month or two.

 

[dieanotherday]

Well after NBDE 1 and 2....
putting in the work of clinical rotations I don't think would be as hard because you don't take your work home with you
So if I had to have kids during dental school it would be during my 3rd or 4th year as most classroom and sim lab learning is over and its mainly seeing patients

Ideally once I graduate and start associating, I'm in a contract so I'll get pregnant then
and the point of this thread, or any threads for the matter is to help get me through my day at work! 😀 thanks glimmer

 

[Glimmer1991]

Yes... I could see the associateship as a good time, especially if you only take 1-2 to months of leave.

 

[dieanotherday]

Once you start your own practice, I wonder how long it generally needs to be "up and running" before it makes any sense to go on maternity leave for a month or two.

you plan to start your own practice with all the new equipment and gadgets?

i think its cheaper to just buy someone's existing practice with their patients/clientele and upgrade equipment as you see fit though

 

[Miley Cyrus.]

Earliest time I would have it is 3rd to 4th year of D.S (these years aren't as work intensive, you are mainly spending time in clinic, not late night studying). You should have your 1st kid before 30 at the latest. Risk of something going wrong with the pregnancy is higher after 30 and I've seen a lot of articles that state that a huge determining factor in the lifespan of someone, is whether the mother had them when she was in her 20s (better). Maybe do it during your first year of associateship. I doubt you'll be jumping straight out of D.S into your own private practice.

 

[Aal]

How about adoption??

 

[manifesto]

Once you start your own practice, I wonder how long it generally needs to be "up and running" before it makes any sense to go on maternity leave for a month or two.

From what I've seen, it can take anymore from 1 year if you're very lucky but more like 3 years for most people. Location is also extremely important. 1-3 years are for busy suburban/urban areas.

 

[gn4]

We plan on having 3 kids. The plan is for her to get pregnant with the first during 3rd and 4th year. Have the other 2 during residency. That's the plan so far

 

[CleverThought]

I'm very torn on this. I've always wanted to be DONE with kids by 30 (2-3 children). Luckily I am the traditional age and will be 25, nearly 26, when I graduate DS, however the timeline will still be tight. To echo above posters, there is never a "right" time. First you're in school, and then you go into the real world and are either finding a job, or working and have a steep learning curve, or the bold might even buy a practice right out a DS. Regardless of your path, you will always be busy.

My H and I might look into having our first in the 3rd or 4th year - but a lot of that is going to be dependent on the policies the school has on maternity leave and I'll probably take a few of the students ahead of me who have done it and ask what their honest opinion is on it and how manageable (or not) it was for them. My current, and perhaps naive, perspective is that it will be easier to have a newborn in the last year of DS rather than trying to start a practice.

ETA:

I'm tending to lean towards a more ballsy career plan. I may do a AEGD/GPR, but after that I want to do a buyout of a practice where the owner slowly transitions out over the period of 1-2 years. So that's why time is even more of a key because I, at this time, don't intend to have an associateship as a an opportunity to have my first child.

 

[Glimmer1991]

you plan to start your own practice with all the new equipment and gadgets?

i think its cheaper to just buy someone's existing practice with their patients/clientele and upgrade equipment as you see fit though

I would be open to either option. 🙂 However, my spouse basically needs to be in one area for his job (he has major connections), so I'll need to stay around here. If the opportunity to go into practice with someone else or buy into a practice arises, I'll take it! However, there isn't much competition around here at all, so I'd be willing to start afresh after associating for a year or two.

To aal--I'm not against adoption at all, but if I am able, I'd like to have my own child. If I'm not, it is certainly a viable option!


Here's honestly what I was thinking...

School (4 year) --> AEGD/GPR (1 year) --> Associateship (1-3 years) --> Becoming an owner/partner

I'm thinking the two best times would either be:
A) during the second year of my associateship, which would make me ~29
B) two years after I become an owner/partner, which would make me ~33

I think either age would be okay... But anytime before 29 would be very stressful, as it would be when I first became an owner. I think 33 would be a safe enough age to have a child.

 

[CleverThought]

We plan on having 3 kids. The plan is for her to get pregnant with the first during 3rd and 4th year. Have the other 2 during residency. That's the plan so far

This is a somewhat interesting point. Do you feel that it will be easier for you, as a male, to make the decision to have children while in DS than it is for a female dental student?

 

[Glimmer1991]

This is a somewhat interesting point. Do you feel that it will be easier for you, as a male, to make the decision to have children while in DS than it is for a female dental student?

I'm pretty sure she will be a med student at the same time! Brave woman. 🙂

 

[CleverThought]

I'm pretty sure she will be a med student at the same time! Brave woman. 🙂

Holy hell! Nope, nope, nope - not a situation I am brave enough for!

 

[predentalgirl]

Blah. Such a hard question.
Though, @gn4's plan is kinda what I was thinking.

Literally just got married, so this is something I had to talk to my husband about.

And I always always wanted all my kids before 30 (just like @CleverThought) but I do not think that is logically possible anymore.
I would like one probably by the 4th year (things ease up by then I would hope).

Prob join a practice to start out for a few years, to avoid the ownership/partnership stresses.

ALL up in the air, though.

 

[Slumber]

This thread reminds me of streampaw.

 

[sjv]

This thread reminds me of streampaw.

Those threads were hella lulzy.

 

[Mediumrare]

Many times kids arn't planned..... So the idea of a "right time" is a fallacy. With that said, when it happens it happens!

 

[WastedTime]

U can hire a nanny and write it off as business expense lol

 

[NMC2010]

There's always the stay-at-home/work from home option for the spouse too. A dentist can make enough money for both of you to live comfortably. Even in corporate, you can pull 120k a year = more than the average couple (combined) makes.

 

[ziggy1104]

While I dont have an answer for how dental school with a baby will be, I can give you some insight to my experiences with a baby during undergrad.

As you said, no time is ever going to easy...kids are a huge smack in the face and a complete change of lifestyle. That is not meant to discourage you though, bc they are also amazing and make you the happiest you have ever been (at least my baby boy does 😍). I had him in 2013, in the middle of my junior year of undergrad. You're, of course, past that, so that information doesn't really help you lol. I can say that one thing I did not expect was the tremendously difficult pregnancy. I had really bad back problems and some other complications that made it extremely difficult to walk, sit, or pretty much do anything except lay with an ice bag on my back. Not fun or productive. I ended up going to school throughout, though, and came out with As. Easy? Hell no. Worth it? Yup.

The tough part is you will never know what kind of pregnancy you will have. I am a healthy, active person, and did not anticipate the complications. I have friends who have had easy breezy pregnancies, though. Always something to consider, although I guess it doesn't really make your decision easier bc you will have to deal with that whether your in clinic or in practice. The kicker is, most of us will not be able to take a huge maternity leave or take a break while pregnant bc of school requirements/student loans after grad.

After pregnancy is a whole other beast lol. Sleepless nights and foggy brain ensues. Never could have got through without my support system.

So, all in all, there isn't a good time! I think as long as you have a good support system, you will make it through regardless of when you have the baby. If you don't have a good support system, I would definitely wait until after school bc I worry about meeting the graduation requirements. There's always daycare, but trust me, you are not going to want to take your tine 8 week old to stay with strangers for the day. Just started taking my 10 month old...his first day was probably the hardest day of my life 🙁 My mother in law lived next door and helped us out tremendously!

 

[techyguy]

From an entirely different anecdotal perspective, my brother is a D4, and they're expecting their first in June (so his first summer out). He's actually starting a prosth. residency in Chicago around the exact time their little boy is going to be born, so they're going to be living in two different cities for just a little while (last I heard). It's complicated, but seems doable.

As you're all probably aware, there are statistics about the frequency of Down's Syndrome, and other chromosomal disorders at different ages. Since I just looked it up, at 35, there's a 1/350 chance:
https://www.ndss.org/Down-Syndrome/What-Is-Down-Syndrome/ (the biggest leap seems to be from 33 to 34)

Edit: Well, it appears this is already covered, but I'll leave the link anyway.

 

[gn4]

This is a somewhat interesting point. Do you feel that it will be easier for you, as a male, to make the decision to have children while in DS than it is for a female dental student?

Personally, I think if it were up to me and my wife was a stay at home mom or didn't have a demanding career, I would choose to have the kids once I've graduated from dental school. I wouldn't have them in dental school. I'd want to have enough money to support the family. But that's not the case I'm in, she is worried about her career and body as well. So, after we talked about it, she thought it would be better for her to at least have 1 by 4th year. Twinning runs in my family, so I warned her about that too. She's hoping for Derm residency(Yea...ambitious, I know) or peds, so residency shouldn't be too rough for her to have the other kids. At least not as rough as the surgery residents.

 

[Glimmer1991]

This thread reminds me of streampaw.

Why? I didn't realize that planning to have kids was uninformed or an illegitimate, annoying concern.

 

[Glimmer1991]

From an entirely different anecdotal perspective, my brother is a D4, and they're expecting their first in June (so his first summer out). He's actually starting a prosth. residency in Chicago around the exact time their little boy is going to be born, so they're going to be living in two different cities for just a little while (last I heard). It's complicated, but seems doable.

As you're all probably aware, there are statistics about the frequency of Down's Syndrome, and other chromosomal disorders at different ages. Since I just looked it up, at 35, there's a 1/350 chance:
https://www.ndss.org/Down-Syndrome/What-Is-Down-Syndrome/ (the biggest leap seems to be from 33 to 34)

Edit: Well, it appears this is already covered, but I'll leave the link anyway.

Is his wife also in dental/med/law school or something of the sort? I think the woman's career can really change things. I think if the man is the high-earner, it is much easier for the wife to just take off and have the kid... But my spouse will be a lawyer. We both are in really demanding fields. (I get the feeling that this situation applies to a lot of other women on these pre-dent forums, too.)

I know about the Down's Syndrome stats... Scary and sad for women in fields like us. That's honestly a big reason why I'll probably only have one, but that's okay.

 

[dentalhopeful24]

I am posting from my husband's account, as I like to stalk these forums occasionally 🙂--we had our first kid the day after my last day of law school. We didn't exactly plan it that way, but it worked out great. I studied for the bar while she was a newborn. It was tough, but not impossible. I am now working as an attorney while my husband stays home with our daughter during his gap year. When he starts in the fall, we plan to put her in a high quality preschool (she'll be 18 months). Like everyone says, there is no perfect time, but if you and your SO are willing to work together, you can make it work just about any time, imo. Also, even though it complicates some things, having my daughter is by far the most rewarding thing that I have ever done and she motivates me to be more successful and a better person. I think that it is important for our society that young professional women are able and willing to have kids, and I have found that even in my demanding profession at a large law firm, people are very understanding and supportive of me as a young mother. Hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

 

[Glimmer1991]

I am posting from my husband's account, as I like to stalk these forums occasionally 🙂--we had our first kid the day after my last day of law school. We didn't exactly plan it that way, but it worked out great. I studied for the bar while she was a newborn. It was tough, but not impossible. I am now working as an attorney while my husband stays home with our daughter during his gap year. When he starts in the fall, we plan to put her in a high quality preschool (she'll be 18 months). Like everyone says, there is no perfect time, but if you and your SO are willing to work together, you can make it work just about any time, imo. Also, even though it complicates some things, having my daughter is by far the most rewarding thing that I have ever done and she motivates me to be more successful and a better person. I think that it is important for our society that young professional women are able and willing to have kids, and I have found that even in my demanding profession at a large law firm, people are very understanding and supportive of me as a young mother. Hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

How awesome! And it worked out quite nicely that he had a gap year to take care of her as a newborn. 🙂

It seems like you two are in my situation... but the careers are just reversed. If you don't mind, how old were you when you had her... 25? If so, how old were you when you got married? I'm just curious, since my boyfriend and I are trying to work all of these things out.

As a new lawyer, how many hours do you typically find yourself working a week? I know my SO would do everything within his power to help me, but at the same time, the first years as a lawyer are when you really have to put in the hours and make a name for yourself--I wouldn't want him to sacrifice that, since it will pay off so much in the long run.


For everyone: I've heard of female dentists actually hiring a daytime "babysitter" and making a daycare in their dental office for their young child. That would be awesome... but I don't see that happening unless you own the practice outright. 🙂 That could be another good reason to wait once you are actually an owner, since you have much more say in those sorts of things.

Luckily, I will probably be moving back to my current town have family nearby after I graduate. My parents and in-laws should be able to help.

 

[Slumber]

Why? I didn't realize that planning to have kids was uninformed or an illegitimate, annoying concern.

We plan on having 3 kids. The plan is for her to get pregnant with the first during 3rd and 4th year. Have the other 2 during residency. That's the plan so far

Doesn't this reminds you of streampaw?

 

[Glimmer1991]

Doesn't this reminds you of streampaw?

But you said the entire "thread" reminded you of streampaw! LOL

 

[ziggy1104]

For everyone: I've heard of female dentists actually hiring a daytime "babysitter" and making a daycare in their dental office for their young child. That would be awesome... but I don't see that happening unless you own the practice outright. 🙂 That could be another good reason to wait once you are actually an owner, since you have much more say in those sorts of things.

Luckily, I will probably be moving back to my current town have family nearby after I graduate. My parents and in-laws should be able to help.

Wow, that's an amazing idea! I wonder how that works logistically, though. I feel like my little stinker would be running through the offices or playing with all the dental instruments lol. Could work really well though for the infant period...making a mental note lol

 

[Slumber]

For everyone: I've heard of female dentists actually hiring a daytime "babysitter" and making a daycare in their dental office for their young child. That would be awesome... but I don't see that happening unless you own the practice outright. 🙂 That could be another good reason to wait once you are actually an owner, since you have much more say in those sorts of things.

The dentist I shadowed did exactly this. She's in her mid 30s and her baby girl is a little over a year old now. She emptied out a room in her practice and made a nursery out of it.

 

[ramborhino]

My only advice is don't accept any parenting/kids advice from those who don't have kids themselves. They have absolutely no idea.

 

[dentalhopeful24]

I was 23 when we got married and 26 when I had her. The hours a young associate has to work vary drastically from firm to firm and even depending on the practice group/ partners you work with within a firm. I work at a large regional firm that has a billable hour goal of 2000 hours. Essentially, I'm supposed to bill 40 hours/week after taking into account holidays, etc. For the most part, this means I'm working about 50 hours/week because you can't bill all the hours you work (there are a lot of things that are necessary to do, but not billable). For the most part, I work 8-6 M-F with occasional nights and weekends. But I hear horror stories from my friends from law school that they are required to stay at the office til 1 or 2 in the morning often, working intolerable hours for ultra demanding partners. Even worse, imo, are the stories of my classmates who are still unemployed (or under-employed) a year after graduation. I am really grateful that I landed where I did--I guess just tell your BF to be attentive to the atmosphere of the firm/ partners when he interviews. If their job is their life, his job is probably going to be his life, too. I love the idea about the in-office daycare! I've actually tossed that idea around for our future as well. I don't know why more of us can't take advantage of cool, alternative arrangements like that.

 

[techyguy]

Is his wife also in dental/med/law school or something of the sort? I think the woman's career can really change things. I think if the man is the high-earner, it is much easier for the wife to just take off and have the kid... But my spouse will be a lawyer. We both are in really demanding fields. (I get the feeling that this situation applies to a lot of other women on these pre-dent forums, too.)

I know about the Down's Syndrome stats... Scary and sad for women in fields like us. That's honestly a big reason why I'll probably only have one, but that's okay.

Nope, his wife is a nurse, but she was the sole breadwinner for a while. They're 29 and 30, and he had to take extra classes, if I recall correctly. I think they're still going to have a decent amount of debt. I don't know enough about what went into their decision to do anymore than list their circumstances, though. I'm just glad I'm going to be an uncle. =)

Also, have you seen the movie Idiocracy? This whole thread is making me think of the opening dialogue. I'm not saying you owe society more than one baby, but who's gonna start all the future student space-dentist c/o 2054 neutrino hyperthreads? Your first-born may want to be a dermatologist.

 

[Glimmer1991]

I was 23 when we got married and 26 when I had her. The hours a young associate has to work vary drastically from firm to firm and even depending on the practice group/ partners you work with within a firm. I work at a large regional firm that has a billable hour goal of 2000 hours. Essentially, I'm supposed to bill 40 hours/week after taking into account holidays, etc. For the most part, this means I'm working about 50 hours/week because you can't bill all the hours you work (there are a lot of things that are necessary to do, but not billable). For the most part, I work 8-6 M-F with occasional nights and weekends. But I hear horror stories from my friends from law school that they are required to stay at the office til 1 or 2 in the morning often, working intolerable hours for ultra demanding partners. Even worse, imo, are the stories of my classmates who are still unemployed (or under-employed) a year after graduation. I am really grateful that I landed where I did--I guess just tell your BF to be attentive to the atmosphere of the firm/ partners when he interviews. If their job is their life, his job is probably going to be his life, too. I love the idea about the in-office daycare! I've actually tossed that idea around for our future as well. I don't know why more of us can't take advantage of cool, alternative arrangements like that.

That's awesome! We have been together for 4.5 years and plan on getting married after he graduates (which will be between my third and fourth years).

Luckily, both his dad and grandfather were lawyers (dad now a judge, grandfather passed away), so he has major connections and already has fantastic jobs (an interim job while I complete my last year, and a long-term job once we move back home) lined up. He wants to do big criminal cases, though, so I think the hours will probably be pretty intense, at least to begin with. Oh well--so long as he loves it! And I know he will... He's meant to do it.

An in-office nursery really is just an awesome idea. I would be 100% down with that. 🙂

 

[Glimmer1991]

Also, have you seen the movie Idiocracy? This whole thread is making me think of the opening dialogue. I'm not saying you owe society more than one baby, but who's gonna start all the future student space-dentist c/o 2054 neutrino hyperthreads? Your first-born may want to be a dermatologist.

Yes, I've seen it! I went through a lull where I was incredibly stressed out about my future life goals, and toyed with the idea of having no children at all... And my boyfriend kept telling me, "It is basically our DUTY TO SOCIETY to have children!!" LOL, crazy... but really. All of us folks on here should probably be having 10+ kids. 😛

And YES, PLEASE to the dermatologist child. (Or plastic surgeon.) I need someone to fix Mommy up when I am old and wrinkly. My brother plans on going to med school, and I tell him that the only way I will approve of him not becoming a dentist is if he goes into one of those fields.

 

[dentalhopeful24]

That's awesome! We have been together for 4.5 years and plan on getting married after he graduates (which will be between my third and fourth years).

Luckily, both his dad and grandfather were lawyers (dad now a judge, grandfather passed away), so he has major connections and already has fantastic jobs (an interim job while I complete my last year, and a long-term job once we move back home) lined up. He wants to do big criminal cases, though, so I think the hours will probably be pretty intense, at least to begin with. Oh well--so long as he loves it! And I know he will... He's meant to do it.

An in-office nursery really is just an awesome idea. I would be 100% down with that. 🙂

Oh, that's great for him! And yes, when you work in litigation (which I do), when you're preparing for trial, things get a little crazy, but at least it's only for short stints. The rest of the time, you can work pretty normal office hours, in my experience.

 

[dentalhopeful24]

Nope, his wife is a nurse, but she was the sole breadwinner for a while. They're 29 and 30, and he had to take extra classes, if I recall correctly. I think they're still going to have a decent amount of debt. I don't know enough about what went into their decision to do anymore than list their circumstances, though. I'm just glad I'm going to be an uncle. =)

Also, have you seen the movie Idiocracy? This whole thread is making me think of the opening dialogue. I'm not saying you owe society more than one baby, but who's gonna start all the future student space-dentist c/o 2054 neutrino hyperthreads? Your first-born may want to be a dermatologist.

I've never seen the movie, but I really do feel like it's sad when smart, competent, accomplished women feel like they can't have kids and a career. I just think, with all the things you have already accomplished and will accomplish, you've demonstrated the ability to multi-task and manage. Sure, some things are going to fall through the cracks (my house is never as clean as I wish it was) but if you focus on the important things, I think your life, and your kids' lives, will be so much fuller and richer for it.

 

[ToothbrushBuddy]

Particularly to all the women on this forum--if you could choose, when would you want to have kids?

I want to have one child, possibly two. When you think about school and starting a practice, though, it just seems so hard to work it all out.

Of course, it's never going to be easy, and it's hard to have a "right" time. But when do you all think would be best?

I see this discussed often among women in medical school... but our path is pretty different. We don't have a residency, but I'd say that we generally have to worry about starting our own practices more quickly. We also don't have as many feasible options to make great money while not being self-employed.

Guys... Feel free to chime in if your wife (or future wife) will have a similarly demanding job. 🙂

My husband and I want to adopt two sisters probably from US foster care or my Indian tribe ideally like ages 4 and 6 when we are like 35 or 40.

 

[ToothbrushBuddy]

Is his wife also in dental/med/law school or something of the sort? I think the woman's career can really change things. I think if the man is the high-earner, it is much easier for the wife to just take off and have the kid... But my spouse will be a lawyer. We both are in really demanding fields. (I get the feeling that this situation applies to a lot of other women on these pre-dent forums, too.)

I know about the Down's Syndrome stats... Scary and sad for women in fields like us. That's honestly a big reason why I'll probably only have one, but that's okay.

I love people with Down's syndrome! Many can lead pretty normal lives, I actually wouldn't mind having a special-needs child except it would be harder to devote a ton of time to a career and a special needs child.

 

[Illfavor]

My wife works in childcare. All I'll say is...preschools are terrible. Her experiences have delayed her "baby fever" significantly, but we're shooting to have a kid in the first 2 years after I graduate.

My 1000th post was about babies....goddamnit.

 

[Slumber]

My 1000th post was about babies....goddamnit.

LMAO, and a productive one at that.

 

[techyguy]

Here's today's human interest story on this topic:
Women Increasingly Freezing Their Eggs To Pursue Their Careers

"Really interesting piece by Emma Rosenblum about women freezing their eggs in order to take 'biological clock' pressure off while they pursue careers: 'Not since the birth control pill has a medical technology had such potential to change family and career planning. The average age of women who freeze their eggs is about 37, down from 39 only two years ago... And fertility doctors report that more women in their early 30s are coming in for the procedure. Not only do younger women have healthier eggs, they also have more time before they have to use them.'"

 

[Cello]

I don't know how much stock to put into the idea that you have to have your kids before 35. I read this article some time ago and think that it's a bit unburdening for people in our position. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

The widely cited statistic that one in three women ages 35 to 39 will not be pregnant after a year of trying, for instance, is based on an article published in 2004 in the journal Human Reproduction. Rarely mentioned is the source of the data: French birth records from 1670 to 1830. The chance of remaining childless—30 percent—was also calculated based on historical populations.

Another interesting quote from the same article:

Surprisingly few well-designed studies of female age and natural fertility include women born in the 20th century—but those that do tend to paint a more optimistic picture. One study, published in Obstetrics & Gynecology in 2004 and headed by David Dunson (now of Duke University), examined the chances of pregnancy among 770 European women. It found that with sex at least twice a week, 82 percent of 35-to-39-year-old women conceive within a year, compared with 86 percent of 27-to-34-year-olds. (The fertility of women in their late 20s and early 30s was almost identical—news in and of itself.) Another study, released this March in Fertility and Sterility and led by Kenneth Rothman of Boston University, followed 2,820 Danish women as they tried to get pregnant. Among women having sex during their fertile times, 78 percent of 35-to-40-year-olds got pregnant within a year, compared with 84 percent of 20-to-34-year-olds. A study headed by Anne Steiner, an associate professor at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, the results of which were presented in June, found that among 38- and 39-year-olds who had been pregnant before, 80 percent of white women of normal weight got pregnant naturally within six months (although that percentage was lower among other races and among the overweight). “In our data, we’re not seeing huge drops until age 40,” she told me.

As far as fears about autism are concerned, there's a glimmer of hope for you yet (bahaha, get it? Glimmer, bahaha). No, but it all seriousness, autism is probably linked to the age of the father more than the mother, at least according to our current understanding of things (which is still pretty limited it seems).

Trisomy-21 (Down Syndrome) is a factor for many older parents, and likely why people want to have children before 35, but it's still a small chance that you would conceive a child with Trisomy-21 even at age 40 where you have a 0.8% chance. The reason it's so concerning is because that's 4x as likely as conceiving at age 30, but rest assured it's still quite rare. After 40 though the rates pretty much skyrocket, so yeah...

Also, considering that the source of fertility data as mentioned above was old French studies from the 18th and 19th centuries, I wonder where the data came from for Trisomy 21. Looking through local statistics from the department of health I noticed that the trendline wasn't nearly as neat as those I found through Google. Given the nature of these kinds of studies, I find trend lines without aberrations to be potentially suspect. I'm not saying that they are, I just wonder.

 

[SicEm]

Ok I didn't even read most of the above comments because it was probably the same debate I've seen a million times ("omgz if I conceive the day after my 35th birthday my child won't be normal") so I'm going to skip to the chase and just give my opinion.

A) There's never a good time to have kids, you will always be busy

B) With that said, even if your ovaries are just screaming to make babies right away, I personally think you should wait until after dental school if you're a traditional student. If you're non-traditional, I think it depends on your situation.

I'm a non-traditional student and am pregnant with my first, due in a little over a month. The school I was accepted to is AMAZING and is letting me defer a year. I know that I'm going to get through dental school but it won't be as easy. Fortunately I have an incredibly supportive husband. Let me preface the rest of this by saying I'm SO excited to become a mother in just a few short weeks, but there are some difficulties ahead. You have to think about daycare (the one we'll use will be about $15,000 a year, and it isn't the most expensive one we've looked at). So now I'm adding $60,000 to the next 4 years. The cost isn't the only problem...what if your child is sick? Somebody needs to stay home, but what if you have a test that day? Hopefully your significant other has a flexible enough job to make that happen. And then there's the heartbreak of knowing that you won't be able to spend as much time with your child during these early years as you could. It's not like you go to class and you're done...then you have to study.

I don't think that having a child in dental school (or before dental school in my case) makes it impossible to be a successful parent and student, but I just don't see what the rush would be if you're 22. You have soooo much time.

If I were a traditional student wanting kids soon after graduating, I'd probably hold off on starting my own practice and work for somebody else for awhile, and then get pregnant. I'm pretty sure when you've worked somewhere a year you can get up to 3 months maternity leave and your job is still guaranteed (look up FMLA). I'd probably continue that job until I felt stable enough to go off and start my own practice, if that's what the end goal was.

 

[Glimmer1991]

I don't think that having a child in dental school (or before dental school in my case) makes it impossible to be a successful parent and student, but I just don't see what the rush would be if you're 22. You have soooo much time.

DEFINITELY no rush!

And congratulations to you and your husband! 🙂

 

[EasTexan]

My girlfriend (fiancee soon, shhhh) and I plan to wait until after she graduates DS. This is the only thing we've decided on, beyond that we will see where things go. Might be during associateship, maybe after, post-practice-startup, who knows. We do know that we will both be 29 when she graduates. The articles and stats Cello posted are reassuring.

So, married before school starts, baby after.