The info that I can provide is marginal, at best. I lived in Hawaii for several years as a kid and this is from where my comments are based. Saw how few replies you have been getting so my 2cents might be better than nothin'. Being a military member makes you someone from the mainland, a 'Howlie' (the deragatory term locals call everyone else). Most all local people are extremely nice and happy. The 'spirit of Aloha' is a real thing over there and will find many people who will show you wonderful hospitality and friendship. There are those who detest you for the simple fact that you did not grow up there, however. You'll be able to recognize this type readily and just steer clear of them. If you have kids who will be school aged, I recommend either getting a good deal of gouge from fellow service members currently in the school your kids will be in or, seriously consider private schools. Spent 1st grade through 6th grade over there and really had to adapt/ learn how to learn coming back to mainland schools.
We (my family) go back about every other year for a few weeks to visit old-time friends; some of the wonderful people I mentioned above. Last year a gal. of milk was ~$5.50. Groceries in general are super expensive until you adapt to a more local lifestyle. Fantastic fruits and veggies at farmers markets and such locally grown and much more reasonable than most grocery store prices. You will develop a love for rice you can't imagine right now.
Homes are built to different standards than what you may be used to. A simple three bedroom'er on elevated foundation and glass luver-style windows is quite middle-class in many communities. You won't spend much time in-doors anywhy so anything more than the basics in a house is only excess. If you plan to spend most of your time inside, Hawaii is not the place for you.
Recently, Honolu'lu was the ranked the most healthy city in America. The ocean and all associated activities has a lot to do with this. Running, biking, surfing, kayaking, canoeing, swimming, etc. are all widely participated activities over there.