HELP! Did you met your SO during rotations?

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I am a 27yo F and I was wondering what are my chances to find someone during my rotations (NY, GA, CA, FL), or if you or someone you know has met their SO during rotations. Thank you thank you thank you!!
 
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If he was a great guy and did all those things for you, wouldn't he also accommodate for your residency? Kinda sounds like you are itching to find a reason to let him go (not that I have any qualms about it either way).
 
notyourtypicalmd said:
So guys! this is going to be extremely informal! I have a dilemma, I am a 27yo F and in an engagement, and my relationship is of 6yr. I don't want to marry do to my preference to school and my goal to be an awesome dr. but I also want to form a family in the future; and here i can lock that in. This guy is real attentive, and has done amazing things for me like moving out of state and the like... but does not understand what i am going through and he will probably suffer through my rotations (he kind of wants my whole time), i am not gonna lie I do not love him so there is that (but wouldnt mind if thats my last chance, i know pretty messed up).
I know we are all different, and I am very outgoing, so I was wondering what are my chances to find someone during my rotations (NY, GA, CA, FL), or if you or someone you know has met their SO during rotations. Thank you thank you thank you!!
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You sound pretty awful. Dump him so he can find someone worthy.
 
isopropylhexene said:
If he was a great guy and did all those things for you, wouldn't he also accommodate for your residency? Kinda sounds like you are itching to find a reason to let him go (not that I have any qualms about it either way).
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Hey awesome thanks for replying super fast! so yes he is great and all that jazz, and yes I want out, but only if i have a chance in the future ....
I AM a terrible person
 
You are at Ross.

Your SO moved out of state to be with you, despite all of this you got engaged and did not have the courage to call it off because you were too comfortable. If this is an ongoing long-distance relationship, I can see how he would want that attention.

1. Call off your relationship. This will give you less moral obligations +guilt, and more time to find the date you want.

2. Even if you meet people during rotations, how much time will you get to spend with them? How tired will you be? What are the logistics when you move on to the next rotation?

3. You are used to dealing with someone who you've seen for 6 years. Will you be able to judge someone's character and "lock them down" as an SO after a month? Highly unlikely.

4. Are you looking for an SO? Or are you just looking for a good time, but want the convenience of landing someone better than your current SO like in a fairy tail? Relationships require time, work, and attention. Will you have all 3 of those things during rotations?

I am not going to comment on your moral standards. That speaks for itself. However, what you say you want may not fit with what you think you want.

It seems like you:

1- Are tired of your current SO
2- Want to upgrade
3- Use rotations as a time to do so
4- Looking for short term, not long term relationship
 
notyourtypicalmd said:
i am not gonna lie I do not love him so there is that (but wouldnt mind if thats my last chance, i know pretty messed up).
I know we are all different, and I am very outgoing, so I was wondering what are my chances to find someone during my rotations (NY, GA, CA, FL), or if you or someone you know has met their SO during rotations.
Click to expand...

wtf, you have been dragging this guy along for 6 years and don't love him?

Imaging if some dude wrote, "Hey guys I got this gf for 6 years, she is really hot. I got engaged to her so she'd stick around. I don't really want to get married tho. I just keep her around for sex mainly. I'm gonna go on rotations soon, so I can finally get away from her. What are the chances I can find someone better/younger/hotter on rotations? I don't want to get rid of my current girl till I've got a better deal in the bag."

seriously wtf. why do girls think like this (always looking for a plan b,c,d, or e)? I've had gfs before that bailed on me when things got rough only to find out they had someone on the back burner to immediately jump to. They will drag it out with the current guy until they've got the next one lined up. You know, because being alone sucks and it's all about ME.

Weirdy said:
You are at Ross.

Your SO moved out of state to be with you, despite all of this you got engaged and did not have the courage to call it off because you were too comfortable.
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LOL he moved to a third world island to be with you and you're looking to get some new action on rotations??!
Poor bastard... 🙁
 
Weirdy said:
4. Are you looking for an SO? Or are you just looking for a good time, but want the convenience of landing someone better than your current SO like in a fairy tail? Relationships require time, work, and attention. Will you have all 3 of those things during rotations?
Click to expand...

Sounds like she is looking to bag an MD who will bring in more status/money so she can do mommy-track.
I'm gonna take a wild guess the current guy isn't bringing home a lot of cheese.

I will give her a huge amount of credit for being honest tho. So many girls think like that and just lie about their intentions and what they want. But she needs to be honest with him, not internet strangers.
 
atomi said:
wtf, you have been dragging this guy along for 6 years and don't love him?

Imaging if someone wrote, "Hey guys I got this gf for 6 years, she is really hot. I got engaged to her so she'd stick around. I don't really want to get married tho. I just keep her around for sex mainly. I'm gonna go on rotations soon, so I can finally get away from her. What are the chances I can find someone better/younger/hotter on rotations? I don't want to get rid of my current girl till I've got a better deal in the bag."

seriously wtf. why do girls think like this (always looking for a plan b,c,d, or e)? I've had gfs before that bailed on me when things got rough only to find out they had someone on the back burner to immediately jump to. They will drag it out with the current guy until they've got the next one lined up. You know, because being alone sucks and it's all about ME.



LOL he moved to a third world island to be with you and you're looking to get some new action on rotations??!
Poor bastard... 🙁
Click to expand...

Ok so, wrong. I didnt know i dint love him, we were always together. and now I am much happier.. after the fact. I didnt ask him to move either. and I dont understand why the school I go to is so important for yall.
Also, I am not looking to hook up with the next dude. I am wondering if I leave this relationship i will have a chance to meet people who could potentially not destroy my dreams, and i would sort of have something for reals. I am scared of the whining and fights about not being home or answering the phone since i am in school (that happened when we lived together and in school), and need someone that understands that. Not an upgrade. Thanks in advance guys
 
atomi said:
Sounds like she is looking to bag an MD who will bring in more status/money so she can do mommy-track.
I'm gonna take a wild guess the current guy isn't bringing home a lot of cheese.

I will give her a huge amount of credit for being honest tho. So many girls think like that and just lie about their intentions and what they want. But she needs to be honest with him, not internet strangers.
Click to expand...
Oh honey, I will be able to get my own cheese. And serve it to you too, because sharing is caring 😉
 
notyourtypicalmd said:
Ok so, wrong. I didnt know i dint love him, we were always together. and now I am much happier.. after the fact. I didnt ask him to move either. and I dont understand why the school I go to is so important for yall.
Also, I am not looking to hook up with the next dude. I am wondering if I leave this relationship i will have a chance to meet people who could potentially not destroy my dreams, and i would sort of have something for reals. I am scared of the whining and fights about not being home or answering the phone since i am in school (that happened when we lived together and in school), and need someone that understands that. Not an upgrade. Thanks in advance guys
Click to expand...

Yes, of course you will find someone else. You are a 27 year old female. You don't even have to say anything. People come up to you. Want to marry a doctor who gets your education? Search for MD on dating apps. I know girls who have admitted to this. It sounds like you have already left this guy in your head a long time ago. It is flat out wrong of you to continue this relationship. Fear of not finding someone else is not a good reason to drag this dude through the mud.
 
Chocolate Sundae said:
Am I the only one around here that’s severely lactose intolerant?
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Brah me too,
atomi said:
Yes, of course you will find someone else. You are a 27 year old female. You don't even have to say anything. People come up to you. Want to marry a doctor who gets your education? Search for MD on dating apps. I know girls who have admitted to this. It sounds like you have already left this guy in your head a long time ago. It is flat out wrong of you to continue this relationship. Fear of not finding someone else is not a good reason to drag this dude through the mud.
Click to expand...

FINALLY! an honest answer. Thanks 🙂
 
It’s certainly feasible to find someone on the wards. Plenty of couples meet during med school and rotations(I’ve seen this a few times last year alone).

At least you’re frank about your feelings, but it would be wise to break it off and give him a chance to find happiness with someone who shares his values and likewise you’re bound to find someone who shares your values and in the same field.
 
notyourtypicalmd said:
Ok so, wrong. I didnt know i dint love him, we were always together. and now I am much happier.. after the fact. I didnt ask him to move either. and I dont understand why the school I go to is so important for yall.
Also, I am not looking to hook up with the next dude. I am wondering if I leave this relationship i will have a chance to meet people who could potentially not destroy my dreams, and i would sort of have something for reals. I am scared of the whining and fights about not being home or answering the phone since i am in school (that happened when we lived together and in school), and need someone that understands that. Not an upgrade. Thanks in advance guys
Click to expand...

Great job editing your original post to leave out the details.

Says a lot about your character and why you may have so many issues with your current relationship.

You mentioned in your original post that you edited:
You don't want him troubled because he doesn't understand the schooling you go through to be "an awesome dr.".
You also mentioned you want to be able to start a family in the future.

You do realize you can have both and there are people who have dedicated their time to be the best physician they can be yet still cultivate a relationship and raise a family?
 
notyourtypicalmd said:
I am a 27yo F and I was wondering what are my chances to find someone during my rotations (NY, GA, CA, FL), or if you or someone you know has met their SO during rotations. Thank you thank you thank you!!
Click to expand...

i like how you changed your original post to be less terrible. find a guy in finance or consulting or something, you'll probably be a great match.
 
Yes, you definitely can find someone new while doing rotations or residency. You might still meet people that don't understand how busy you are but that is just the life we have chosen.

You really should cut this guy loose now. Even if the answer was "no, you won't be able to find someone during rotations" then you should still dump him...now. It's cruel what you're doing.
 
I dated a few girls in my med school class and it didn't work out... i did an away rotation in san diego and met a girl there... we both ended up matching in nyc (unintentionally) and are now dating
 
Karma is a b**** and one day it’ll come knocking at your door. It’s so selfish and inconsiderate of you to keep him around for this long and use the relationship to satisfy your emotional needs. He’s at fault too for not seeing through who you truly are. Leave him for his own sake, and learn how to be sincere and honest with your intentions if finding a significant other means so much to you.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
Where are those females that are very active on sdn ? Why are they so quiet ? Let me guess , this time it is a "female" who is at fault.

There was a thread not to long ago where women were telling people that men who truly desire and respect their SO will follow them obediently (where her job is) and be her emotional rock. Well , just look at this thread.

6 years of honesty and dedication and she doesn't even give a s***t but it is all fine and dandy since men are disposable.
 
Prince090 said:
Where are those females that are very active on sdn ? Why are they so quiet ? Let me guess , this time it is a "female" who is at fault.

There was a thread not to long ago where women were telling people that men who truly desire and respect their SO will follow them obediently (where her job is) and be her emotional rock. Well , just look at this thread.

6 years of honesty and dedication and she doesn't even give a s***t but it is all fine and dandy since men are disposable.
Click to expand...

Wow where did this come from. Are you ok? IDK if you see the responses above but everyone is calling her out on it.
 
shapley said:
Wow where did this come from. Are you ok? IDK if you see the responses above but everyone is calling her out on it.
Click to expand...

Lol this. I’m a female, not “feminist” at all, and I think this is horrible. I read it to my husband so we could be stunned together. Not sure what’s going on it that post.
 
Prince090 said:
Where are those females that are very active on sdn ? Why are they so quiet ? Let me guess , this time it is a "female" who is at fault.

There was a thread not to long ago where women were telling people that men who truly desire and respect their SO will follow them obediently (where her job is) and be her emotional rock. Well , just look at this thread.

6 years of honesty and dedication and she doesn't even give a s***t but it is all fine and dandy since men are disposable.
Click to expand...
Well, I am a feminist, and I think OP is pretty awful. Male or female, I read this as someone who is selfish, manipulative. OP's fiancee must understand the demands of medicine, since he moved with her. Even the best couples have problems during med school and residency. The corrected post is actually worse, since OP has already started planning a future without him.
The worst part seems to be her worry that she needs to settle at all. Of course, the incel wondering about women's voices is just the icing on the cake.
 
raiderette said:
Well, I am a feminist, and I think OP is pretty awful. Male or female, I read this as someone who is selfish, manipulative. OP's fiancee must understand the demands of medicine, since he moved with her. Even the best couples have problems during med school and residency. The corrected post is actually worse, since OP has already started planning a future without him.
The worst part seems to be her worry that she needs to settle at all. Of course, the incel wondering about women's voices is just the icing on the cake.
Click to expand...


It is getting really tiring. So someone who questions a particular narrative means he gets no sex and is incel. Classic feminist statement.

Questions something = incel. Great logic.
 
Prince090 said:
It is getting really tiring. So someone who questions a particular narrative means he gets no sex and is incel. Classic feminist statement.

Questions something = incel. Great logic.
Click to expand...
Aren't you the one who equated red pill with feminism? And was confused why a thread with obvious misogyny was shut down? Maybe I am wrong and you were just wondering why the "women" hadn't spoken. I didn't originally feel the need to beat a dead horse. OP should know how SDN feels in this thread, and it was both genders calling her out. Gender and sex roles don't seem to be in disagreement on this front, nor we're they in disagreement with the relationship vs. medical school thread. I'd you had a problem with that thread, why didn't you post your objection there, rather than passively aggressively implying that women were supporting OP?
 
I do apologise for calling you an incel. I had a very bad shift on the wards with a woman brutally attacked by a blind date. I am a little on edge because I want to rip the guy's balls off.
 
raiderette said:
Aren't you the one who equated red pill with feminism? And was confused why a thread with obvious misogyny was shut down? Maybe I am wrong and you were just wondering why the "women" hadn't spoken. I didn't originally feel the need to beat a dead horse. OP should know how SDN feels in this thread, and it was both genders calling her out. Gender and sex roles don't seem to be in disagreement on this front, nor we're they in disagreement with the relationship vs. medical school thread. I'd you had a problem with that thread, why didn't you post your objection there, rather than passively aggressively implying that women were supporting OP?
Click to expand...

I was new to these terms. Perhaps I was not clear enough. I thought redpill was a mirror version of radical feminism(andrea dworkin type). All I am saying is that there is no guarantee that things will come out perfectly fine even if you do things the right way.
 
raiderette said:
I do apologise for calling you an incel. I had a very bad shift on the wards with a woman brutally attacked by a blind date. I am a little on edge because I want to rip the guy's balls off.
Click to expand...

You are a big person for being able to do that. I can totally understand and empathize about what you encountered on your wards.
 
I am normally a person who shows respect and understanding. I also hope you see that this issue isn't about gender.
 
atomi said:
seriously wtf. why do girls think like this (always looking for a plan b,c,d, or e)? I've had gfs before that bailed on me when things got rough only to find out they had someone on the back burner to immediately jump to. They will drag it out with the current guy until they've got the next one lined up. You know, because being alone sucks and it's all about ME.
Click to expand...

it's a little unfair to say that this is only what girls do. Certain types of people do this. It is not specific to a sex. honestly, if that person really wanted to be with the person they were bailing on, they would make it work. It's much better to find this out before you get married when kids and finances make it much more convoluted.

Someone willing to bail when things get rough or not understanding of your schedule is not marriage material. That person bailing is doing you a favor before you get married.

OP, you sound like a crappy person. That said leave this guy because your marriage is destined to fail if you feel like this now. That said, it is much harder for a woman to find a boyfriend during rotations than a man to find a girlfriend during rotations. Men are needy individuals and are less likely to be understanding of your schedule especially if you are just starting to date.
 
notyourtypicalmd said:
I am a 27yo F and I was wondering what are my chances to find someone during my rotations (NY, GA, CA, FL), or if you or someone you know has met their SO during rotations. Thank you thank you thank you!!
Click to expand...
Dear Abby by Abigail Van Buren

Gawd, this thread is one these:
The-Trainwreck-A-Real-Train-Wreck.jpg
 
The answer is no. No chance youll ever find someone so better keep your current mans.
 
Newyawk said:
The answer is no. No chance youll ever find someone so better keep your current mans.
Click to expand...
She needs to let him go.

Poor sap probably doesn't even realize she's planning all this behind his back.

Any attempt to find the truth will just be brushed off as "He's needy and doesn't realize the amount of time I need to put towards my studies."

How do you not realize you "don't love someone" after 6 years, an engagement, and him moving to the Caribbean for you?

If he's just a safety net, say it like it is.
 
>engaged
>acknowledges not in love with fiancé

This is seriously one of my biggest fears. Happened to a colleague and friend of mine. A few months before the wedding his fiancé admitted they never loved him, they just wanted a marriage.

How do people do this?
This is dishonesty in the most defiling way.
 
Psai said:
how hot are you op
Click to expand...

I was wondering when you’d say something.

As for the rest...I don’t know....OP is doing a crappy thing and is acknowledging it. So many of us are not a whole lot better. Glass houses and all. I feel like at this point, we should just acknowledge that most humans are soul-sucking POSs, and move on. Sigh...


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
We gotta’ do SOMETHING until the Jalby topic comes back... why not pile on a universally-disliked scenario?!

😉
 
OrthoTraumaMD said:
I was wondering when you’d say something.

As for the rest...I don’t know....OP is doing a crappy thing and is acknowledging it. So many of us are not a whole lot better. Glass houses and all. I feel like at this point, we should just acknowledge that most humans are soul-sucking POSs, and move on. Sigh...


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
Click to expand...

Asking for a friend
 
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