Help..... my significant other is military, I'm not

[the1theonly]

we're both MS4's ........ she is military, I'm civilian. We may not see much of each other for several years. Can anybody relate? We want to make our relationship work, but are very discouraged at times. Any and all comments welcome...............

Thanks.

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[BOHICA-FIGMO]

BOHICA, bro! The military is going to send her wherever they want, whenever they want. The military doesn't give a rat's ass about you or your career. I would suggest trying to get into an Emergency Medicine residency, that way you can move once every 2-3 years, basically plug yourself into any ER in the country, and not have to worry about setting up a practice. Good luck (you'll need it!)

 

[militarymd]

BOHICA, bro! The military is going to send her wherever they want, whenever they want. The military doesn't give a rat's ass about you or your career. I would suggest trying to get into an Emergency Medicine residency, that way you can move once every 2-3 years, basically plug yourself into any ER in the country, and not have to worry about setting up a practice. Good luck (you'll need it!)

bingo

 

[texdrake]

we're both MS4's ........ she is military, I'm civilian. We may not see much of each other for several years. Can anybody relate? We want to make our relationship work, but are very discouraged at times. Any and all comments welcome...............

Thanks.

You have a few options:

1. Her match is first. Find out where she is applying and then you can apply residencies in the same areas. Further you can even withdraw the ones in other areas because she will know a good two months before you will.

2. What branch is she in? If it is Army there are several options.

William-Beaumont (El Paso) is actually a joint program so they take civilian and military personel.
Madigan (Tacoma) has several residency programs around the area (Tacoma and Seattle) that supposedly think favorably on people in your situation as Madigan has strived very hard to make good relations with other non-military programs there...in fact some of the Madigan medical staff are also on staff at U of Washington (joint faculty programs)

3. You could join the FAP after medical school and they will "try" to get you guys on the same base or near each other.

 

[the1theonly]

Thanks for the replies. Btw, SO is in Army. Surely some other folks out there are or have been in this situation. Any other suggestions on survival or stories or warnings ??????

 

[Mirror Form]

3. You could join the FAP after medical school and they will "try" to get you guys on the same base or near each other.

I'd recommend strongly against this b/c it's very risky. Although the Army will "try" to get them placed together, there is no gaurantee. Whereas, if he stays out of the military, there is a good chance he can get a residency or job near his SO. This idea would be more likely to prevent them from living together.

 

[Mirror Form]

Thanks for the replies. Btw, SO is in Army. Surely some other folks out there are or have been in this situation. Any other suggestions on survival or stories or warnings ??????

I'm not in this situation, but I know several people who are. When you graduate med school, a lot of couples (civ and mil) must decide if they want to couples match or not. This is a big decision and often comes down to whether the couple is ready to get engaged or not. If you two are, then the main thing to do is just follow what texdrake said in the first bullet of his post above. Her match is first, so just see where she matches and make sure to apply to every residency program close to it. It'll basically be like couples matching, but she'll get priority. For example, I'm currenty at an army medical center and several of our residents had spouses who applied and matched at a local civ academic hospital specifically to stay close to together.

If she wants you to have a good chance at matching close to her, she should make sure to apply to a place that has plenty of close academic hospitals. Walter Reed would be a great location b/c there are lots of civ residency programs close to it. Whereas, if she matches at BAMC or EAMC, your choices will be a bit more limited (eg UT San Antonio or Med College of Geogia).

 

[the1theonly]

"If she wants you to have a good chance at matching close to her, she should make sure to apply to a place that has plenty of close academic hospitals. Walter Reed would be a great location b/c there are lots of civ residency programs close to it. Whereas, if she matches at BAMC or EAMC, your choices will be a bit more limited (eg UT San Antonio or Med College of Geogia)."

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good point, SLEDGE. Actually Tripler (Hawaii) is in the picture bigtime also which complicates things further------ although career-wise I definitely want the best for her, even if it means Hawaii...........

t1to