HELP! Nervous for M1

[DrElliotReid]

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So my undergrad experience was way less than ideal. I had so many opportunities to connect with people and get involved in a lot of things (as I attended a large top state university) but I was young and naïve. I went to undergrad with my boyfriend from high school and our relationship became very volatile and unhealthy the first couple years in college. I clung on to him despite it all and realized I had to let go when it was too late. Everyone had already established their core group of friends and all I had been doing was studying or spending time with my bf/trying to repair my relationship. His friends disliked me because he would say negative things about me to them behind my back while in the heat of the moment and because of all this I struggled with depression (undiagnosed though, I never went to see anyone about it). I wasn’t close to anyone at school besides him and felt really alone, wondering to myself why no one seemed to like me enough to be friends and I went through the last two years of undergrad feeling that way. I made an effort but it was just hard and no matter what I did I still felt like an outsider. Though I did of course manage to do everything I needed to get into med school.

Anyway, that’s all passed now. But now I feel really nervous about going to a different state for school where I know no one and am scared that I won’t connect with the people in my class. Like maybe I just have bad luck when it comes to friends and relationships. I really want to be included, but sometimes I feel like I try too hard and I know this is a result of what happened in undergrad but I deeply regret the choices I made those first two years of undergrad.

Anyone have any advice, words of encouragement etc…? I didn’t get to enjoy college like most people should/have and though I know medical school is quite a different ball game I want to make this experience a much better one.

 

[Tapepsi]

Well think of this as a second chance then. It's a fresh start and you will get to meet many new faces. Med school class sizes are much smaller than undergrad so you will definitely get to know your classmates very well. You will be in all of the same classes and labs, and there will be clubs and organizations that you can join to meet people with similar interests as you.

So remember to just smile on your first day, 🙂D), make small talk with others, and find people who you can share your miseries with during exam time and Step 1 studying.

Good luck and congrats on getting into med school! 👍

 

[Ursa]

So my undergrad experience was way less than ideal. I had so many opportunities to connect with people and get involved in a lot of things (as I attended a large top state university) but I was young and naïve. I went to undergrad with my boyfriend from high school and our relationship became very volatile and unhealthy the first couple years in college. I clung on to him despite it all and realized I had to let go when it was too late. Everyone had already established their core group of friends and all I had been doing was studying or spending time with my bf/trying to repair my relationship. His friends disliked me because he would say negative things about me to them behind my back while in the heat of the moment and because of all this I struggled with depression (undiagnosed though, I never went to see anyone about it). I wasn't close to anyone at school besides him and felt really alone, wondering to myself why no one seemed to like me enough to be friends and I went through the last two years of undergrad feeling that way. I made an effort but it was just hard and no matter what I did I still felt like an outsider. Though I did of course manage to do everything I needed to get into med school.

Anyway, that's all passed now. But now I feel really nervous about going to a different state for school where I know no one and am scared that I won't connect with the people in my class. Like maybe I just have bad luck when it comes to friends and relationships. I really want to be included, but sometimes I feel like I try too hard and I know this is a result of what happened in undergrad but I deeply regret the choices I made those first two years of undergrad.

Anyone have any advice, words of encouragement etc…? I didn't get to enjoy college like most people should/have and though I know medical school is quite a different ball game I want to make this experience a much better one.

First of all, it's never too late to cleave yourself from such a bad relationship. Anytime is the right time to distance yourself from things like that. Kudos for getting yourself out of that.

Secondly, keep in mind that almost everyone is going to medical school with few if any people they know. At most, you may end up with an acquaintance or two, or just a couple of folks that you might recognize from undergrad. Regardless, don't feel like you are at a disadvantage socially. Everyone will be in the same boat, and they too will be looking to make friendships for the next four years.

Establish some good friends while doing well in school, and you will be fine. I understand that your undergrad situation might have given you a bleak outlook on what could possibly happen as you move to yet another school, but don't give in to those thoughts. School will be fun, challenging, and a great new chapter in your life.

Go in with high hopes and a positive attitude. It will be great.

 

[hitsugaaya]

So my undergrad experience was way less than ideal. I had so many opportunities to connect with people and get involved in a lot of things (as I attended a large top state university) but I was young and naïve. I went to undergrad with my boyfriend from high school and our relationship became very volatile and unhealthy the first couple years in college. I clung on to him despite it all and realized I had to let go when it was too late. Everyone had already established their core group of friends and all I had been doing was studying or spending time with my bf/trying to repair my relationship. His friends disliked me because he would say negative things about me to them behind my back while in the heat of the moment and because of all this I struggled with depression (undiagnosed though, I never went to see anyone about it). I wasn’t close to anyone at school besides him and felt really alone, wondering to myself why no one seemed to like me enough to be friends and I went through the last two years of undergrad feeling that way. I made an effort but it was just hard and no matter what I did I still felt like an outsider. Though I did of course manage to do everything I needed to get into med school.

Anyway, that’s all passed now. But now I feel really nervous about going to a different state for school where I know no one and am scared that I won’t connect with the people in my class. Like maybe I just have bad luck when it comes to friends and relationships. I really want to be included, but sometimes I feel like I try too hard and I know this is a result of what happened in undergrad but I deeply regret the choices I made those first two years of undergrad.

Anyone have any advice, words of encouragement etc…? I didn’t get to enjoy college like most people should/have and though I know medical school is quite a different ball game I want to make this experience a much better one.

I am going to be a first year this fall as well and I am excited and nervous for medical school. I have a different story from you in that I am international so knew absolutely no one when I came to college but I make friends pretty quickly. So I can try and drop some hints on what I found was helpful in making friends in a 'foreign' environment'

Before I get to that, if you feel you may actually be depressed, talk to a professional before medical schol begins. You dont want to discover this in med sch and have a break down. Thats just my 2 cents

Okay so I dont know abt ur med sch, but mine, the kids keep wanting to meet up, even now in the summer to hangout and stuff. If you are moving in earlier than orientation, then meet up with some of your classmates. They may not necesarily be the people you ll be best of friends w for all of med sch but its a goood start. If theres a fb group, join it and see if anyone is organizing stuff like that. During orientation, try and be friendly, speak, get to know peole, do not be the wall flower. From my experience from a year at grad sch, the people I met with and hung with during orientation were the ones I became study buddies and friends with, so you can try that.

I think new beginings are the best times to establish friendships when people are still getting adjusted. You'll be fine. And if you keep feeling out of the loop/sad, go talk to the school counselor, they are there to help out.

Oh yea, you could also try joining clubs in whatever you are interested in. Thats another good way to meet people.

Hope I helped a little bit

 

[flatearth22]

Med school isn't UG so don't try and make up for what you lost by living like a college kid while in med school. Your goal should be to be the best student you can possibly be to match into the specialty and location of your choice.

That said, don't be a gunner or a loner. Be normal, friendly, courteous, involved, and you should have a quality social life you're looking for. But keep your focus on academics.

 

[NickNaylor]

Med school isn't UG so don't try and make up for what you lost by living like a college kid while in med school. Your goal should be to be the best student you can possibly be to match into the specialty and location of your choice.

That said, don't be a gunner or a loner. Be normal, friendly, courteous, involved, and you should have a quality social life you're looking for. But keep your focus on academics.

Have you applied to medical school yet? Are you a medical student?

Please tell us where you are.

 

[NYBills987]

new chance.. the best advice is to be outgoing.. it is probably easier not to organize anything if you feel uncomfortable, but find out something going on in the city and invite people to it. Everyone is gonna be looking to make friends come August. Hey if we happen to be at the same med school, I'll hang out with you 😀

 

[AnnAmore]

Have you applied to medical school yet? Are you a medical student?

Please tell us where you are.

Why does this matter? Is he/she suddenly all the wiser for having applied to med school? Is being a med student on SDN mean that they're a well adjusted med student? This seems like general life advice to me, no matter the field or age or anything.

 

[Carbon inc]

You gotta put yourself out there, maybe let down your guard a bit if you're the reserved/hidden type. Since people love talking about themselves, they'll be more receptive to you if you appear enthusiastic and interested in learning about them.

 

[NightGod]

Practice smiling (in a mirror, if need be) until it becomes easy and natural. Seriously on this, we're hardwired to respond to a friendly smile and it makes an amazing difference. Then practice saying 'hi' and following it up with that smile you practiced. Be prepared to add such important follow-ups as "damn, it's hot/cold/beautiful today!" or "how's your day going?" or "are you as crazy nervous/excited to be starting med school as I am?"

Master these three and you'll be absolutely amazed how many new acquaintances you can make and hopefully turn a few of those into friends.

 

[JJMrK]

Most medical school classes are really small. If you've got less than 150 people in your class, you'll know everybody within a few months.

 

[Disinence2]

Sounds like a pretty normal undergrad experience to me.


Most med schools have LOTS of social events that everyone is always invited too. During your 3rd year you will simply have to make friends with other students on your rotations just to get by.

 

[UnclePhil]

Why does this matter? Is he/she suddenly all the wiser for having applied to med school? Is being a med student on SDN mean that they're a well adjusted med student? This seems like general life advice to me, no matter the field or age or anything.

well it would certainly strike me as odd that someone who isn't in med school touts advice on what medical school is like.

 

[lisi326]

I'm totally with you, OP. I had a crappy 1st year of UG due to a lot of **** happening, and made absolutely no friends. But since then, I've had a lot of different chances to start afresh and make friends in a new setting (transferring to a different school, grad school with class of 48, going back and taking UG pre-reqs as a grad student) - and I've been successful every time. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there, initiate conversations with people you've never met before, invite new friends out... I think that making new friends is exactly like dating, just without the sexual overtones ;-) And don't worry too much about it - when you're with a small class size like med school, you're gonna make friends whether you want to or not. You have to have someone to talk to during class/ask about homework/study with/drink with, etc. 🙂

 

[iniquus]

Have you applied to medical school yet? Are you a medical student?

Please tell us where you are.

lol the last sentence is so harsh.

 

[hitsugaaya]

lol the last sentence is so harsh.

Perhaps maybe because the guy sounded a bit like a gunner, and also did not really address the OP's question? lol

 

[DrElliotReid]

Thanks so much to everyone who has responded so far! I'm feeling better about it after reading all your suggestions and insights 🙂 Although the class size at my school is actually fairly large for a med school, roughly 200, that is still a lot less than undergrad and i'm hopeful. Sometimes I just get jealous of those ppl who seem to make friends instantly and get along with everyone they meet. I Would love that ability, lol.

 

[Maxwell7301]

Thanks so much to everyone who has responded so far! I'm feeling better about it after reading all your suggestions and insights 🙂 Although the class size at my school is actually fairly large for a med school, roughly 200, that is still a lot less than undergrad and i'm hopeful. Sometimes I just get jealous of those ppl who seem to make friends instantly and get along with everyone they meet. I Would love that ability, lol.

I think you'll be just fine. I went to an extremely large state school for undergrad, and had an extremely difficult time making friends.

Med school should be different, though. I already met quite a few people in my incoming class, and they are all really nice and everything. Just the size of a medical class, plus the fact that everyone is doing the same thing, should really help for making friendships.

 

[rhesuspieces]

So my undergrad experience was way less than ideal. I had so many opportunities to connect with people and get involved in a lot of things (as I attended a large top state university) but I was young and naïve. I went to undergrad with my boyfriend from high school and our relationship became very volatile and unhealthy the first couple years in college. I clung on to him despite it all and realized I had to let go when it was too late. Everyone had already established their core group of friends and all I had been doing was studying or spending time with my bf/trying to repair my relationship. His friends disliked me because he would say negative things about me to them behind my back while in the heat of the moment and because of all this I struggled with depression (undiagnosed though, I never went to see anyone about it). I wasn’t close to anyone at school besides him and felt really alone, wondering to myself why no one seemed to like me enough to be friends and I went through the last two years of undergrad feeling that way. I made an effort but it was just hard and no matter what I did I still felt like an outsider. Though I did of course manage to do everything I needed to get into med school.

Anyway, that’s all passed now. But now I feel really nervous about going to a different state for school where I know no one and am scared that I won’t connect with the people in my class. Like maybe I just have bad luck when it comes to friends and relationships. I really want to be included, but sometimes I feel like I try too hard and I know this is a result of what happened in undergrad but I deeply regret the choices I made those first two years of undergrad.

Anyone have any advice, words of encouragement etc…? I didn’t get to enjoy college like most people should/have and though I know medical school is quite a different ball game I want to make this experience a much better one.

Quit now. You are by far the worst character on Scrubs.

 

[Whatyousay]

Quit now. You are by far the worst character on Scrubs.

Actually, now that I think about it, that post kind of seems like something that Elliot would write.

 

[Onres]

well it would certainly strike me as odd that someone who isn't in med school touts advice on what medical school is like.

Exactly.

How can you speak of an experience you have never experienced?

I agree that flatearth needs to stop pretending to know everything. It's ok to not have answers for everyone's questions.

 

[pkwraith]

It's a clean slate for everyone. Just know that it is important to be very social in the first couple weeks. You will have the most free time at that time, and you will get to meet a lot of people.

If you really want to be social, just put some work into it. No matter your personality, try to talk and introduce yourself to people. Force yourself if you have to. The first couple weeks is crucial in cementing friendships and relationships, as that is where people where be more open and before cliques form. Avoid antisocial activities during that time, such as SDN. If someone asks you if you want do something, say Yes.

If you keep all that in mind, and just try your best to be social, it will work out very well for you.

 

[eli20]

For those confused - all you really need to do is look at some of flatearths posting history to understand 🙂

 

[flatearth22]

 

[mauberley]

Lovers gonna love.

 

[FutureDr8429033]

this makes me sad. 😳

 

[NickNaylor]

I laughed pretty hard when I saw this.

 

[JokerMD]

sdf

 

[NYBills987]

Med school isn't UG so don't try and make up for what you lost by living like a college kid while in med school. Your goal should be to be the best student you can possibly be to match into the specialty and location of your choice.

That said, don't be a gunner or a loner. Be normal, friendly, courteous, involved, and you should have a quality social life you're looking for. But keep your focus on academics.

I mean.. he may not be in med school but he didn't say anything that I think is untrue here.. med school usnt UG, and being friendly generally works out for people who want to be more social haha