Help with Personal Statement

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Anybody have time to look over personal statement please????? I'm in need of desperate helppp
The best thing you can do is taking to your school's writing center. Having an English professor or student will be better than having non-English majors.
 
^Don't really have time for that. Also, I'm sure these students are just as capable of adding their input. I'm not writing a work of art here haha
 
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I submitted my application already, so I can take a look at yours for grammar and stuff