Help with Personal Statement

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lyndaelyzoo

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It is official. I am literally addicted to this forum! Or maybe I just get on here so I don't have to work on my PS. 😱 I know that there have been previous threads on the PS, but wondering if anyone else is struggling with writing their PS??? I am having a problem making it not sound like a list of experiences or accomplishments and do not want to rewrite my resume. I checked out UCDavis' web page for PS guidance and have read some examples, but have had difficulty getting started. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
 
Eehhhh...I'm on the same page as you with writing the personal statement. I'm taking summer classes so I keep telling myself "I will do it after classes are over in August" but then classes start in August for the fall again so I'm thinking I should start now.

I'm thinking my PS is going to be a Narrative that has a personal experience that takes on the form of a story. Try to give it a plot (what led me to want to be a veterinarian), character (me of course and perhaps some furry friends), setting (Alaska I guess) a climax (defining moment?) and a conclusion.

I wrote a PS for vet school earlier this year and I think it was pretty terrible, so I'm going to re-write the whole thing. The way I did it before was just write as much as fast as I could, and then go back through and make it better.

Another piece of advice that has served me well is write the body of your personal statement first, then go back and write the intro and the conclusion. Sometimes you lose sight of what you are writing about if you write the intro first. Other than that, as I write mine I might have something more intelligent to say.

Good luck
 
I haven't started yet either... not even a rough draft, unless you count the one I used to apply 2 years ago (which was crap, lol). I don't want to write about my first dog, because EVERYONE has that first childhood pet (more or less)... I don't have anything awesome to write about, like some trip to [COUNTRY] to do [AWESOME THING] for 2 weeks, or riding elephants in Mongolia... not that anyone HERE has done anything like THAT...

*pokes sum*

So really, I'm at a loss for the subject itself. There was no crowning moment, there hasn't been a single cool case that has rocked my world, there wasn't any one person who changed my life... I just want to be a vet. Doesn't make for much to start with.

Hold on, I'll drag up an old thread or two so it won't look like I'm just bitching and not helping. 😉

ETA: ALRIGHT, here they are.

Read other people's personal statements!

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=561741
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=400784
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=385281

Get some good advice...

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=595348

And have a little fun.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=529897
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=584949

Also, while digging around in old threads, I saw SO MANY POSTS from forum members FREAKING OUT about their PS, their GPA, this many Cs, that GRE grade, ZOMG ZOMG etc...

These forum members are our 2nd and 3rd year vet students now.

So everyone (myself included) needs to take a deep breath... and think calming thoughts. Lol. 🙂
 
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Getting started is always the hardest part so I began by just writing down a free stream of thoughts, whether they made sense or not. I wrote down everything I could think of for a couple of weeks then sat down and pasted the stuff I liked together. This way I skipped the stress of trying to start out with a catchy intro and got right down to the bulk of the statement. The intro came later once I had a better grasp of the entire statement and it kept me from stressing out that I wasn't working on it which would have given me horrible writer's block.

My advice just start jotting down anything, even the most cheesy statements because they might inspire the rest of your paper. Don't worry about making it perfect from the start because you have the rest of the summer to edit it.
 
I would be careful not to list experience after experience, or pin point some "corny" moment that defined your career choice. Think about this, the admissions commitees are reading 2,000 application essays, yours needs to stick out. Saying you love vet med and animals is just not going to make your application any better. If your other stats are outstanding, as in perfect, you can get away with a dull, run of the mill essay. On the other hand if you are more like me, a middling, your essay is a way to make you stand out. Be creative! I know that can be hard, I am DEF not creative; but find a way to express your passion for vet med in an extraordinary way.

At one of my interviews the interviewers actually mentioned that my essay really jumped out at them, and they loved it. They said that they rarely write comments about personal statements in their notes because of the standard way they are written.

That being said my personal statement may have turned other schools off. I figured the risk was worth it. My first application round I wrote a standard statement and it got me no where.

If you want to see my essay PM me and I will be happy to provide it for you. 🙂
 
not to take away from the OP, but i didn't want to start another thread about PS. 🙂 would anyone be willing to read my PS and give feedback if i sent it in a PM? i would really appreciate it.
 
I have not problem reading anyones PS (commenting on grammar, content, suggestions, whatever). I am constantly looking for small distractions without leaving my computer. If you PM me, ill send you my email address (would much rather read it in a word format then C&P in a PM box.
 
not to take away from the OP, but i didn't want to start another thread about PS. 🙂 would anyone be willing to read my PS and give feedback if i sent it in a PM? i would really appreciate it.

I can't promise any amazing insight, but I can take a look if you like.

And to the OP:
If I recall correctly, you are a "non-trad", as I am. I was told by that the big question I'd need to answer for the admissions committee was WHY I took such a circuitous route to veterinary medicine. In my PS, I explained my initial interest in veterinary medicine, why I detoured off to engineering, how I came back, and what skills engineering has given me that will carry over to vet med. Perhaps you could do something similar?

And I don't think I started writing mine until October 1st. Probably not a strategy everyone should follow, but I don't think I could spend several months agonizing over it, which is what would've happened had I started it earlier... Point being, breathe. You still have lots of time to mull it all over and get some inspiration.
 
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I also wouldn't mind looking over anyone's personal statement; feel free to PM me!

Just some tips that I found helpful:
-Tell a story. Not only do the people reading your PS want to see what kind of person you are, they also don't want to be bored out of their mind. You need to stand out amongst the crowd. I remember hearing vets comment on some outstanding essays that weren't "I've loved animals since I came out of the womb and I've wanted to be a vet since I was 4..." but rather "how working at Mc Donald's will make me a great vet" or about a Boston Marathon runner. Be creative; you are selling yourself.
-Show, don't tell. If you are a great leader because you organized a fundraiser then show the reader how you got everyone to rally together by printing fliers and gathering supplies and finding people to help raise money for *insert charity name here*....don't just tell them, "I'm a great leader."
-Start early (unless, of course, you happen to do your best work under immense pressure). It took me months to get my final draft together. I had bits and pieces but tying together everything I needed to answer in a cohesive, non-resume way proved to take some time. My intro paragraph actually came to me in a dream since I had been working on it so much!
-Let a variety of people help/proofread your PS. The more eyes that see it, the better. English profs, vets, parents, people who are avid readers, etc...I had numerous people proofread mine (including a few SDN vet students...thank you everyone who proofread mine!) and it helped me immensely.
-Good luck! 🙂
 
I just started writing mine on July 4th. I spent 2 hours writing one draft that sounded like a great idea in my head, but then turned out to sound boring and traditional. Then I got really stressed and I woke up randomly at 5am the next morning and suddenly had this thought. I immediately woke out of bed (it was still dark outside) and just started writing and it sounded amazing. I only wrote my introduction thus far and am working on the body, but I think I'm ready to sit down again this weekend and try to get the whole thing finished. Sometimes it just takes a lot of re-writing and sleep apparently. If you think about it enough it'll come to you. Also, list all of your experiences (animal and non-animal) and what you learned from them and try to add the most influential in the PS. Hope this helps, we're all in the same boat so dont worry.
 
Just something to keep in mind: the admissions committee has your entire list of experiences. When I started writing my personal essay, it was turning into a list of "I did this, and then that, and that made me realize...). The personal statement quickly gets too long, and I've heard many people say that the majority of them are too wordy. So yeah, I guess try to use it more to show them who you are than what you've done. Keep in mind to that some schools don't interview, so your personal statement is really the only picture they get of you as a person.
 
My 2 cents. Don't get overly hung up on particular experiences. The actual details of the experience are less important than how the whole experience brought you to a better understanding of the field of veterinary medicine. You want to show them that you understand the role of a vet.

If that actually makes any sense at all...
 
Some great advice on here, thanks everyone! I will be looking to PM mine out pretty soon.

I started on mine in May. So far I have 6 drafts. I write and try to come up with a story, and then my great idea just seems to fall out from under me. I'm also trying to make it have my voice, but not be too cheesey. In the end I spend more time talking about people in my life or animals instead of myself. I need direction! AH!
 
Everything I try to write seems so friggin cheeeeeeesy. I hate this whole clever witty story - what i have done/am doing/will do - clever ending that ties it all together format. I don't have a singular clever witty thing that does all that in the space provided 🙁
 
Everything I try to write seems so friggin cheeeeeeesy. I hate this whole clever witty story - what i have done/am doing/will do - clever ending that ties it all together format. I don't have a singular clever witty thing that does all that in the space provided 🙁

I couldn't agree more. I have about 3846252 drafts and none of them seem to come together the way that I was hoping. I'm stuck!!:scared:
 
This is going to sounds cheesy, but seriously...write from your heart. Sleep on it and it'll come to you, that's what happened to me. It doesn't have to be witty or clever per say.
 
If it's any consolation, I think that by its nature a PS must always contain a certain amount of cheese. Personal statements: not for the lactose intolerant!
 
I have a feeling this is a topic discussed, and a big fear of each year's application class. I know it was last year. Then right after the bulk of us get in, we all share what we did that worked, and what didn't. Twelvetigers our fearless linker, gave y'all the places to find those past tomes, I'd recommend looking those over if you are wondering. Other than that, just be yourself, realize that the personal statement is your 30 seconds to get the attention of the admissions committees, and remember that even if one school doesn't take a liking to you, another one probably will. Apply to several schools, and good luck! We who have gone before you are still here to guide the next class, as those who went before us did when we were getting everything sorted out.🙂
 
I would like to add that I am a very uncreative person. I don't know if the prompt for the personal statement changes but it was as follows when I applied "
Discuss briefly the development of your interest in veterinary medicine. Discuss those activities and unique experiences that have contributed to your preparation for a professional program. Discuss your understanding of the veterinary medical profession, and discuss your career goals and objectives.

I mostly avoided the laudry list of what I did at each experience but I did put in where I was and most importantly what I learned from that experience as it pertained to my interest in vet med. Ie I like riding and working with horses but don't want to do large animal-why--I tried it and found that having no back up and lots of driving are not for me. So if you can't come up with some more story like personal statement I wouldn't despair as mine worked just fine and was decidedly not story like.
 
I love this forum!!! What would I do without all of your advice???!!! THANK YOU!!! I started writing it yesterday and am attempting to make it as original, creative, and as personal (well,not too personal) as possible. And thanks to those offering to proofread my PS when I get it finished. And of course, thank you to twelvetigers for the links!!!! 😀
 
This is going to sounds cheesy, but seriously...write from your heart. Sleep on it and it'll come to you, that's what happened to me. It doesn't have to be witty or clever per say.

This is kind of awful advice imo.

I agree with and champion the general theme of "be yourself," perhaps to a fault sometimes (see: threads on being 'professional' and interview threads), and I certainly believe that if you are not a witty or clever person, trying to force it won't work at all. However, as others have stated, the personal statement is an opportunity to put your best foot forward and show the adcom that you are more than a bunch of numbers, particularly for schools that don't interview. So relying on something that precarious is not a very good idea, and indeed has been something that's held me back before.


Just my overblown $0.02.
 
If it's any consolation, I think that by its nature a PS must always contain a certain amount of cheese. Personal statements: not for the lactose intolerant!

God yes, I just reread mine - What the hell was I thinking (pre-eminent university?! My ass) Well, this time last year I was thinking about washing the dean of admissions car in a white t-shirt, if I remember right (that would not have actually helped me)

realize that the personal statement is your 30 seconds to get the attention of the admissions committees

Well said

This is kind of awful advice imo.

...

Just my overblown $0.02.

I know you're going for Davis, but if for some reason you find yourself at Mississippi State, can we hang out? 😉
 
This is kind of awful advice imo.

I agree with and champion the general theme of "be yourself," perhaps to a fault sometimes (see: threads on being 'professional' and interview threads), and I certainly believe that if you are not a witty or clever person, trying to force it won't work at all. However, as others have stated, the personal statement is an opportunity to put your best foot forward and show the adcom that you are more than a bunch of numbers, particularly for schools that don't interview. So relying on something that precarious is not a very good idea, and indeed has been something that's held me back before.


Just my overblown $0.02.

To each his own. Sometimes when you give it a break, step back, and literally sleep on it, it comes to you faster than when you stress over it forever. I wasn't saying just rely on sleeping on it to work, of course work your ass off and make it as good as possible. BUT sometimes, ideas come to you when you least expect it...and 9/10 they're the best ideas. I'm speaking from my writing experience, like I said to each his own.
 
I'm stuck between writing a story-type essay that describes the emotional changes of a few situations that have struck me along the road, or basically turning my resume into an essay format.

Story-type:
Pros-my efforts are flowing better and this essay seems much more individual, and touches on three main reasons I want to go to vet school
Cons-due to limited space I'm only getting in 4-5 specific experiences touching on the three afore mentioned reasons

Resume-type:
Pros-I can write briefly about all of my experiences (basically "at *business* I work as *job type*) and probably still mention the three main reasons I want to go to vet school
Cons-this essay is coming out very very stilted, and cookie cutter with nothing other than timeline to really hold it together.

I'm probably going to finish writing both and let people read them and tell me which they like better. Any advice?
 
I'm stuck between writing a story-type essay that describes the emotional changes of a few situations that have struck me along the road, or basically turning my resume into an essay format.

Story-type:
Pros-my efforts are flowing better and this essay seems much more individual, and touches on three main reasons I want to go to vet school
Cons-due to limited space I'm only getting in 4-5 specific experiences touching on the three afore mentioned reasons

Resume-type:
Pros-I can write briefly about all of my experiences (basically "at *business* I work as *job type*) and probably still mention the three main reasons I want to go to vet school
Cons-this essay is coming out very very stilted, and cookie cutter with nothing other than timeline to really hold it together.

I'm probably going to finish writing both and let people read them and tell me which they like better. Any advice?

To me there is no question... You will be able to list all your experiences in the "experience" section, which will cover what job you did at each business. I gave a little job description in the experience section for each experience. Why would you waste the valuable space in your personal statement doing that??

Mentioning 4-5 experiences in your personal statement sounds like plenty, particularly in a unique and flowing PS. I would be bored to tears if I were on the admissions committee and had to read a bunch of essay-format resumes. I would go with story type, all the way!
 
Alright, here is my (unsolicited) PS statement advice. Can't say mine is any good but it is done. I just need to edit out about 200 characters and I will be uploading it to VMCAS.

Have a conversation with someone you work with (not a friend or family member as your are probably pretty casual with them) and explain to them why you want to go to vet school. I know I have told this story to my co workers about a million times but they usually ask intelligent questions that helped me to get down to the 'root' of why I was making this decision. Then go type that into a PS. Don't worry about clarity or length. Just write all those thoughts and reasons you just explained down on paper.

Put PS away for at least a week (maybe even a month if you have the time). Pick up PS and a big red marker and edit away. Do all your heavy editing then find every friend, mentor, professor, coworker etc you can con into reading your PS do it and give you advice. Make their edits as you see fit (yes you can ignore them if you don't like them).

Viola! PS done.

Every time I got stumped on section (the conclusion for instance) I would just talk it out again with a co-worker. ie what makes me the best applicant for vet school. Then take what I had just said and apply applicable parts to the essay.
 
Hey everyone,
I've nearly got my first draft of my PS finished and wanted to know if anyone of here would mind giving it a read. If you'd be willing, let me know (here or by PM) and I will PM it to you. I'm super self conscious because I kind of think that my PS is on the same level and the stool samples that I run so very often, but I tend to be pretty hard on myself. But any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm trying to follow the instructions EXACTLY and not include any superfluous details, but I don't know, I might be way off base😱.
 
Another 2 cents...

I wouldn't get too hung up on "types" of statements like story versus essay. I feel like I just kind of rambled in mine (well maybe not so haphazardly), but still. I talked about some personal experiences; some veterinary, some not. I talked about my personality traits and my favorite aspects of vet med and how all of these things lead me to think this is the right career for me. I got several questions about my personal statement in my interview, so I think it was effective. And these weren't questions like i was being interrogated, but genuine interest on the part of the interviewers. Think of it more as a conversation (as HandD said) and I think things will flow better and you'll sound more like you and less cheesy.

Try to relax! Being too anal retentive might get in the way of your PS coming out smoothly. 😛
 
I think the kind of essay that works best really varies by person. The approach I'm taking is pretty ballsy, and not really your traditional personal statement, but I think it would do the best job of letting an admissions committee know what I'm about. I think it's best to go with what you feel the most confident in (both with what you present, and how you present it), because, like people have said before, if you force it, it'll just sound all sorts of crazy.

Oh, and buckeye4runner, I have that exact same couch that's in the background of your avatar. My parents got it who knows how long ago, so I grew up with it, and have never once seen the same one outside of my living room. Lol. (How's that for off-topic? 😀)
 
i'm stuck. after receiving some constructive criticism and helpful suggestions from my first PS, i have decided to try and write a second one - taking a different approach. it's just the first draft of this PS, but i'm having trouble tying everything together. i feel like i start out stronger and fall apart on a conclusion. 🙁
 
I'm happy to read personal statements, with the disclaimer that I'm just a random person and that I am still trying to decide whether I liked my personal statement (a year later haha). I am pretty good at cutting things down and grammar (although my best friend read my PS and told me I "write like a Pittsburgher" which is probably true).

PM them to me if you want!
 
lyndaelyzoo, I wrote up my comments for the first half of your PS; let me know if my PM worked!
 
I, too, am willing to read through any of your personal statements and give some feedback. Or, if you just have general questions feel free to PM me.
 
I'm willing to read through personal statements, too, and my grammar is very good. I'm one of those sadistic types that actually LOVES to write--I won't be applying to vet school for another two years, and I've already started on a rough draft of my personal statement. 😳
 
I don't have anything awesome to write about, like some trip to [COUNTRY] to do [AWESOME THING] for 2 weeks, or riding elephants in Mongolia... not that anyone HERE has done anything like THAT...

I rode a camel in inner mongolia, does that count?

hehe sorry. I didn't write about that in my essay but I did talk about my study/travel/and research abroad experiences, none of which were related to vet med. I talked about how those experiences gave me a global perspective of the significance of vet med and how collaborative efforts with other professionals [i.e. public health] could help the quality of life for people and animals in other countries.

My point here is that if you don't have any crazy/unique experiences to talk about, do you have unique ideas? two drs that i worked for graduated from LSU. One wrote about saving animals in Africa and the other talked about neuter/spay programs to lower the population in shelters [she graduated a while ago, so at the time it was a unique idea 🙂]

just my two cents. show how your passion makes you unique. a lot of applicants are great students, but what can YOU bring to the field. good luck!
 
(although my best friend read my PS and told me I "write like a Pittsburgher" which is probably true).

When I first went to school in Boston, some of the guys made fun of me for dropping "to be" all the time. Like, "the car needs washed" or whatever. It was completely subconscious back then, but now after living away from Pittsburgh for 10 years it sounds just as foreign to me as it probably did to them at the time. :laugh:
 
When I first went to school in Boston, some of the guys made fun of me for dropping "to be" all the time. Like, "the car needs washed" or whatever. It was completely subconscious back then, but now after living away from Pittsburgh for 10 years it sounds just as foreign to me as it probably did to them at the time. :laugh:

Yeah, I definitely say "the car needs washed" although I think I usually write it correctly. Apparently I also drop the word "that" when I need it (I still don't really understand it, but that's what led my friend to say the Pittsburgher thing).

I'm sure plenty of people will make fun of me once school starts... I'll just wear my Steelers / Pens outfits and smile.
 
Sadly I'm not in my city... I'm on the other side of Pennsylvania now.

Just until vet school's over. In four years.
 
Oh my bad. I didn't read that right. Pitts to Philly... that's tough. Oh well. Maybe someone from Mississippi will be in your class - that would distract everyone!
 
Oh, and buckeye4runner, I have that exact same couch that's in the background of your avatar. My parents got it who knows how long ago, so I grew up with it, and have never once seen the same one outside of my living room. Lol. (How's that for off-topic? 😀)

Hehe it was my grandparents. I think its in the running for ugliest couch ever. It's now slipcovered plain brown. (To match the dog hair 😛)
 
So, like 7 people sent me their PS. My desktop vid card died on me, so I kinda don't know if there are any people I never got back to.

I hope my comments were helpful - but just remember, they are only one persons opinion.

If you emailed me something and I didn't get back to you, just let me know, and I'll dig through my email

P.S. Its pretty interesting to read so many PS, so many people take totally different approaches, and for the most part, they really work. Starting to realize there is no one real formula to it. Good luck to everyone this cycle.
 
How are you guys handling the "discuss your career goals and objectives" part of the PS? Particularly those who aren't dead-set on a particular field or specialty? I'm having a really difficult time not sounding tremendously aimless, indecisive, and wishy-washy without saying things I don't actually mean. I've owned a herd of goats for many years, so small ruminants and farm animals have a special place in my heart. I've worked for a bajillion hours in a SA clinic, but I'm most interested in equine practice (worked briefly in ambulatory and in surgery, and for a longer period in rehab). I know I want horses to be a part of my practice, but I'm undecided about exclusively equine, LA, mixed animal, equine + small ruminants... And though i anticipate wanting to own my own practice, I might just as easily be content working as part of a larger clinic.
Erg.
 
Sounds like you got it. You want to work in a mixed large animal setting. You don't really want to specialize in horses (I think is what you are saying), but I don't think you really need to.

Write it up how you just said it, all your experience with goats and ruminants gives you a strong hand to play the LA card. You SA experiences showed you that aspect, and you don't want to give that up as well. You would really like to work in a practice that incorporates a healthy variety of both. Sounds good to me.
 
I am having the WORST WRITERS BLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF TIME concerning these essays!!!!! I keep, in true insane fashion, typing out a paragraph or two and then just getting annoyed with it and deleting it, never to be seen again. I have all the applications & supplementals finished except for the parts that require me to string together more than two words at once. This is awful!! 🙄
 
2 cents of advice:

If you find yourself writing two paragraphs, deleting them....rinse repeat, pick a specific experience, attribute, lesson learned, etc that you think would be important to mention, then write a paragraph about it. Do this for anything you could possibly want to write about. Take your favorites, put them together. Edit for flow, etc.

It seemed to work well for me so far and I had several weeks of false starts and such.
 
I've been sort of cruising along the last few weeks thinking that all I was going to need to do was edit and update my PS from last year... probably not a wise idea, but I was holding on to it anyway... Well today I took one of my evaluator vets out to lunch so we could talk more about my application and the letter and she said that she really wants to read my PS to help direct her letter and to give me feedback. Fantastic I thought... until I pulled it up for the first time since I submitted it last year and decided that I hate it!

So I am really excited that she wants to read and help with the essay, but now I am embarrassed that it will be really terrible! I am giving myself 2 weeks to get this sorted out so I can give her a copy to critique.

I guess I really didn't have anything to add to this thread, but it is at least a little nice to know that many of us are in the same unhappy PS boat!
 
This feels like a silly question, but how do you guys feel about abbreviating words in your personal statement for the sake of preserving characters? Nothing crazy or overly colloquial, I was thinking more along the lines of "vet medicine" instead of "veterinary medicine," "vet" instead of "veterinarian," etc? I think this would buy me a lot of desperately needed characters...

Along the same lines, what do you guys think about contractions (ie, didn't instead of did not, etc)? I was always taught not to use them in formal writing but... every character counts!

I'd love to know your opinions...
 
This feels like a silly question, but how do you guys feel about abbreviating words in your personal statement for the sake of preserving characters? Nothing crazy or overly colloquial, I was thinking more along the lines of "vet medicine" instead of "veterinary medicine," "vet" instead of "veterinarian," etc? I think this would buy me a lot of desperately needed characters...

Along the same lines, what do you guys think about contractions (ie, didn't instead of did not, etc)? I was always taught not to use them in formal writing but... every character counts!

I'd love to know your opinions...

No and double no. Even if the tone of your PS is relatively light and amusing, it's still formal writing and contractions and abbreviations are far too casual IMO.

Also, thanks for the advice you gave me awhile ago, No Imagination. I basically did as you suggested re: talking about my career goals, reworded some stuff to make it sound nicer and more coherent, and I think it ended up being quite nice. So thanks!
 
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