homebuying & significant others

[nutmegs]

Looking for any current or future residents who entered the homeownership arena with a significant other (not spouse) in the equation. Mostly to form a support group! What was your experience like? What are you planning to do?

I will offer up a little to shape out my situation: I will be moving to another state for residency where cost of living is very reasonable. Nearly all the residents I talked to there bought homes. I have a lovely significant other of 1.5 years (have known him for longer) who is excited about moving with me. We have a very stable relationship and get along quite well, just not interested in planning a wedding currently. He has some ghosts in his credit past (although has become very responsible-I know all the details of his financial situation) and may be looking into starting a business (non-medical). He currently makes around 50K/year freelancing, and won't have a problem finding work. Given that and my ability to qualify for a variety of special mortgage options, all of our discussion has revolved around me purchasing the home. We have discussed various options ranging from splitting all expenses to a fixed monthly "rent" on his part. He is very handy and interested in doing some work/improvements on anything I might buy.

I read so many warnings about buying a house with someone you're not married to (although I think our relationship is quite stable compared to even married couples I know- just lacks the apparent weight of being legal). I know that everybody says "this won't happen to me", so I won't bother saying that I feel our situation is unique. I just am looking for some people with real-life experience in this department. I can't be the only one. Thanks

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[dpmd]

I bought with my husband before we got married, but the wedding was already planned not too far in the future. We were both on the mortgage and were joint tenants on the deed, so we were both financially liable and both had the right to be bought out if the other wanted to stay there (if we broke up). That also means one person could force the sale of the condo if they want, which might not be a good thing for you. It's a risky move, and it might be better to make a different arrangement. Maybe you can be the owner of the house, with your significant other as an investor with certain rights upon sale or dissolution of your relationship based on the money he has put into the house. Whatever you decide I would recommend you put things in writing and have a plan for what would happen in the event of a breakup. I didn't do that with my now husband, but that wasn't a great idea (worked out fine for us, but what if it hadn't)?

 

[adcomm]

thanks for the reply. did you have any trouble with the loan as unmarried applicants?

 

[dpmd]

No. It seemed like they had people do stuff like that before.

 

[Jocomama]

1. Buy this own on your own.
2. He is not on mortgage (note) nor Title (Deed)
3. Set up a simple trust (standard living revocable trust), and you can be the trustee. CLose the loan, and Title as your trust.

Basically - couple hundred dollard to set-up the trust, and you are untouchable incase it doesn't pan out. He also would have a ridiculously difficult time getting the house or anyportion based on the trust.

I've dealt with these situations for many years.
The other option, is to do a simple mortgage and title by yourself. Get something in writing, with an attorney, sign and notarise as an agreement for him paying 1/2 the mortgage each month. If you get married, the statement will say that as long as he puts in a total of 1/2 mortgage and 1/2 downpayment by time you get married, then you will add him onto the deed and title.

Looking for any current or future residents who entered the homeownership arena with a significant other (not spouse) in the equation. Mostly to form a support group! What was your experience like? What are you planning to do?

I will offer up a little to shape out my situation: I will be moving to another state for residency where cost of living is very reasonable. Nearly all the residents I talked to there bought homes. I have a lovely significant other of 1.5 years (have known him for longer) who is excited about moving with me. We have a very stable relationship and get along quite well, just not interested in planning a wedding currently. He has some ghosts in his credit past (although has become very responsible-I know all the details of his financial situation) and may be looking into starting a business (non-medical). He currently makes around 50K/year freelancing, and won't have a problem finding work. Given that and my ability to qualify for a variety of special mortgage options, all of our discussion has revolved around me purchasing the home. We have discussed various options ranging from splitting all expenses to a fixed monthly "rent" on his part. He is very handy and interested in doing some work/improvements on anything I might buy.

I read so many warnings about buying a house with someone you're not married to (although I think our relationship is quite stable compared to even married couples I know- just lacks the apparent weight of being legal). I know that everybody says "this won't happen to me", so I won't bother saying that I feel our situation is unique. I just am looking for some people with real-life experience in this department. I can't be the only one. Thanks

 

[adcomm]

1. Buy this own on your own.
2. He is not on mortgage (note) nor Title (Deed)
3. Set up a simple trust (standard living revocable trust), and you can be the trustee. CLose the loan, and Title as your trust.

Basically - couple hundred dollard to set-up the trust, and you are untouchable incase it doesn't pan out. He also would have a ridiculously difficult time getting the house or anyportion based on the trust.

I've dealt with these situations for many years.
The other option, is to do a simple mortgage and title by yourself. Get something in writing, with an attorney, sign and notarise as an agreement for him paying 1/2 the mortgage each month. If you get married, the statement will say that as long as he puts in a total of 1/2 mortgage and 1/2 downpayment by time you get married, then you will add him onto the deed and title.

I like that last suggestion, thanks