- Joined
- Aug 25, 2005
- Messages
- 37
- Reaction score
- 0
Alright, I just read "vegasbaby's post about men and women showering.....hilarious. Here's another one that's kinda funny.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this
all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear
"the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male
side.
1.Men are not mind readers.
2.Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big
girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving
it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the
tides.
Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think
of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on
this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every
question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want
help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
problem. See a
doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.
11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's
Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two
ways and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other
one.
14. You can either ask us to do something Or
tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how
to do it, just do
it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, please say whatever you
have to say
during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
and neither do
we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do
that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say
"nothing," we will act
like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it
is just not worth
the hassle.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an
answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything you wear
is fine...Really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or
golf.
23. Don't call us on our cell phones while we
are driving unless
it is an emergency.
24. You have enough clothes.
25. You have too many shoes.
26. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
At last a guy has taken the time to write this
all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear
"the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male
side.
1.Men are not mind readers.
2.Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big
girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving
it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the
tides.
Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think
of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on
this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every
question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want
help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
problem. See a
doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.
11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's
Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two
ways and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other
one.
14. You can either ask us to do something Or
tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how
to do it, just do
it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, please say whatever you
have to say
during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
and neither do
we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do
that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say
"nothing," we will act
like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it
is just not worth
the hassle.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an
answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything you wear
is fine...Really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or
golf.
23. Don't call us on our cell phones while we
are driving unless
it is an emergency.
24. You have enough clothes.
25. You have too many shoes.
26. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
