HORRIFIC displays of attempted small talk

[FatPigeon]

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So, my patient interviews are impressive, my notes are thorough, and my case reports are well-constructed. I kill my grade, however, when there's no patient in the room and I'm left with the attending, alone, lingering and at a loss for words.

Typically, the attending is somewhat busy: typing, writing, phoning, etc. Sitting silently for ten minutes on end, however, just doesn't feel quite right. So I'll try and speak, inevitably saying something stupid and obvious, or simply incomprehensible, since there was nothing meaningful to say to begin with. How could there be? There's no patient in the room and no topics at hand, and the attending is intermittently busy.

Similarly, am I supposed to talk when I'm with the attending and a patient whose progress I'm NOT following? If I sit silently I feel like a slacker, and if I open my mouth I feel intrusive.

Damn social awkwardness and past attendings who've instilled a fear of silence in me with their "he tends to keep to himself" comments. Damn them! I like surgical masks and quiet concentration.

 

[surrender903]

yeah how about you just let him do his work then?
and you read and attempt to look studious?

 

[obiwan]

I really don't understand how an attending or resident can really dock anybody marks for being a quiet person.

 

[smq123]

So, my patient interviews are impressive, my notes are thorough, and my case reports are well-constructed. I kill my grade, however, when there's no patient in the room and I'm left with the attending, alone, lingering and at a loss for words.

If the attending is working, there's no foul in just sitting quietly and letting him work. Usually they only "dock" you for being quiet if you never participate in group discussion, in rounds, etc.

You could also try being sure that you always have something to read in your pocket. Up-to-date printed handouts may become your new best friend....

Journal articles also make you look good, too.

 

[sunshinedoc]

I am also a "very quiet" student . . . and being told taht over and over does get annoying. I totally agree with others who have said to read and try to look studious. I had a really quiet preceptor who would do his work (typing up encounter summary, dictation, etc) in complete silence. I would always pretend read casefiles or some type of notes/journal article while I thought of questions to ask about the patient/pathophys of their condition, etc. It worked because I got honors. So, just try to occupy your time while they are working and then ask a few questions. Good luck.

 

[Winged Scapula]

How about treating the attending like a normal person?

If you were sitting with a friend who was busy working, you might make some random comment here and there, or ask if there is anything you can do to help, but otherwise you would let them do their work while you studied or otherwise amused yourself.

 

[Hurricane95]

Always carry something to read with you - case files, journals, etc. I agree with always keeping yourself looking occupied, even if you really aren't (look like you're reading intently, even if you are having an ADD-fueled circus in your brain and you are just skimming the same paragraph over and over). This kills the awkwardness because it takes the burden off of having to talk or say something dumb. You're busy too. Works for me.

 

[Tired]

So, my patient interviews are impressive, my notes are thorough, and my case reports are well-constructed. I kill my grade. . . .

Tell us how you really feel about yourself.

 

[LadyWolverine]

Tell us how you really feel about yourself.

lol Tired. I was thinking the same thing myself. If there's a thimblefull of humilty somewhere on SDN, I sure haven't found it.

 

[DwyaneWade]

lol Tired. I was thinking the same thing myself. If there's a thimblefull of humilty somewhere on SDN, I sure haven't found it.

Go to pre-allo

 

[plainolerichie]

I feel your pain! I have almost nothing in common with these old dudes... I can't talk about "my kids moving out" and almost none of the attendings watch South Park or care about Vanderbilt football.

 

[brianmartin]

you don't have to like the same hobbies...sheesh. Just talk about shared experiences...

 

[Saluki]

I feel your pain! I have almost nothing in common with these old dudes... I can't talk about "my kids moving out" and almost none of the attendings watch South Park or care about Vanderbilt football.

You can't talk about your kids moving out, but if you're like a lot of med students, it wasn't that long since you were moving out... If you're joking about how much you wanted independence but then how much more you missed your mom's cooking, that can be a point of common interest even if you're not coming at it from the side of things.

Obviously, just a dorky example😛

But the ability to make chit chat with even a large rock is not a bad life skill to develop 😀

 

[plainolerichie]

Yeah, I was joking about South Park and Vandy football. But it is still so hard for me to make small talk with attendings or preceptors. I wish I could with them because if they like you, then they'll think more highly of you, and you won't get crappy evals 🙂. There is just such a complete generation (or double generation) gap. That, and I almost feel that if I don't have something profound to say, it's not worth saying so I'm a bit too timid with really small talk of my interests. It's just awkward to me.

 

[QofQuimica]

Yeah, I was joking about South Park and Vandy football. But it is still so hard for me to make small talk with attendings or preceptors. I wish I could with them because if they like you, then they'll think more highly of you, and you won't get crappy evals 🙂. There is just such a complete generation (or double generation) gap. That, and I almost feel that if I don't have something profound to say, it's not worth saying so I'm a bit too timid with really small talk of my interests. It's just awkward to me.

This is one area where it helps to be older than the attending's kids (and occasionally older than the attending. 😉 )

I wouldn't be able to talk to you about South Park (never seen it) or Vandy football (didn't even know Vandy had a team!) either. But that doesn't mean you and I couldn't have a conversation about medicine, especially if we just spent the morning working together in the same clinic/ward. Talk about something interesting that you observed about your patient or that you learned from the encounter. I've had several discussions with attendings like that. The only thing I'll warn you in advance is that you'll probably wind up having to read up on something and let them know more about it tomorrow. 😛 But doing this does seem to pay off when eval time rolls around; it shows that you're interested in learning.

 

[themudphud]

For a conservative approach/solution, I completely agree with hurricane95--always carry something to read in the pockets of your white coat.