Hospital Chart bloopers...

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masterMood

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READ TIL THE END.....
Read till the end, excerpted from website:


HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS>>

Actual WRITING from hospital charts:

1.The patient refused autopsy.

2.The patient has no previous history of suicide.

3.Pt. has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4.NOTE: Patient here recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when

given an enema by mistake.

5.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6.On the second day the knee was better, & on the 3rd day it disappeared.

7.The patient is tearful & crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8.The patient has been depressed since he began seeing me in 1993.

9.Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10.Healthy appearing 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast & anorexia for lunch.

12.She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined,x-rated & sent home.

14.The skin was moist & dry.

15.Occasional,constant infrequent headaches.

16.Pt. was alert & unresponsive

17.rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18.She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19.I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20.Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

21.The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

22.Skin: somewhat pale but present

23.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 
Hermit MMood said:
READ TIL THE END.....
Read till the end, excerpted from website:


HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS>>

Actual WRITING from hospital charts:

1.The patient refused autopsy.

2.The patient has no previous history of suicide.

3.Pt. has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4.NOTE: Patient here recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when

given an enema by mistake.

5.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6.On the second day the knee was better, & on the 3rd day it disappeared.

7.The patient is tearful & crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8.The patient has been depressed since he began seeing me in 1993.

9.Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10.Healthy appearing 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast & anorexia for lunch.

12.She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined,x-rated & sent home.

14.The skin was moist & dry.

15.Occasional,constant infrequent headaches.

16.Pt. was alert & unresponsive

17.rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18.She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19.I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20.Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

21.The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

22.Skin: somewhat pale but present

23.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.


lol
 
Hermit MMood said:
READ TIL THE END.....
Read till the end, excerpted from website:


HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS>>

Actual WRITING from hospital charts:

1.The patient refused autopsy.

2.The patient has no previous history of suicide.

3.Pt. has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4.NOTE: Patient here recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when

given an enema by mistake.

5.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6.On the second day the knee was better, & on the 3rd day it disappeared.

7.The patient is tearful & crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8.The patient has been depressed since he began seeing me in 1993.

9.Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10.Healthy appearing 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast & anorexia for lunch.

12.She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined,x-rated & sent home.

14.The skin was moist & dry.

15.Occasional,constant infrequent headaches.

16.Pt. was alert & unresponsive

17.rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18.She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19.I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20.Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

21.The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

22.Skin: somewhat pale but present

23.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
:laugh: :laugh: those were great!
 
I once heard a patient say his doctor told him he had "leaches in his brain"😱

(the doctor had said "lesions")

Oh, another one, Doctor had dictated that "the patient has trash in his mouth"

(oral thrush)
 
#4 is a classic. :laugh: :laugh:
 
"pt has FHx of sick as hell anemia"
 
it's fo' da shortiez...

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