masterMood

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READ TIL THE END.....
Read till the end, excerpted from website:


HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS>>

Actual WRITING from hospital charts:

1.The patient refused autopsy.

2.The patient has no previous history of suicide.

3.Pt. has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4.NOTE: Patient here recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when

given an enema by mistake.

5.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6.On the second day the knee was better, & on the 3rd day it disappeared.

7.The patient is tearful & crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8.The patient has been depressed since he began seeing me in 1993.

9.Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10.Healthy appearing 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast & anorexia for lunch.

12.She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined,x-rated & sent home.

14.The skin was moist & dry.

15.Occasional,constant infrequent headaches.

16.Pt. was alert & unresponsive

17.rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18.She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19.I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20.Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

21.The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

22.Skin: somewhat pale but present

23.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 

Indryd

10+ Year Member
7+ Year Member
Apr 30, 2005
753
4
Gilead
Status
Medical Student
Hermit MMood said:
READ TIL THE END.....
Read till the end, excerpted from website:


HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS>>

Actual WRITING from hospital charts:

1.The patient refused autopsy.

2.The patient has no previous history of suicide.

3.Pt. has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4.NOTE: Patient here recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when

given an enema by mistake.

5.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6.On the second day the knee was better, & on the 3rd day it disappeared.

7.The patient is tearful & crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8.The patient has been depressed since he began seeing me in 1993.

9.Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10.Healthy appearing 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast & anorexia for lunch.

12.She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined,x-rated & sent home.

14.The skin was moist & dry.

15.Occasional,constant infrequent headaches.

16.Pt. was alert & unresponsive

17.rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18.She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19.I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20.Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

21.The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

22.Skin: somewhat pale but present

23.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

lol
 

Psycho Doctor

*** Angel
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Jun 27, 2004
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6
Status
Medical Student
Hermit MMood said:
READ TIL THE END.....
Read till the end, excerpted from website:


HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS>>

Actual WRITING from hospital charts:

1.The patient refused autopsy.

2.The patient has no previous history of suicide.

3.Pt. has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4.NOTE: Patient here recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when

given an enema by mistake.

5.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6.On the second day the knee was better, & on the 3rd day it disappeared.

7.The patient is tearful & crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8.The patient has been depressed since he began seeing me in 1993.

9.Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10.Healthy appearing 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast & anorexia for lunch.

12.She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined,x-rated & sent home.

14.The skin was moist & dry.

15.Occasional,constant infrequent headaches.

16.Pt. was alert & unresponsive

17.rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18.She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19.I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20.Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

21.The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

22.Skin: somewhat pale but present

23.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
:laugh: :laugh: those were great!
 
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DrZee

Happy as Hell
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I once heard a patient say his doctor told him he had "leaches in his brain":eek:

(the doctor had said "lesions")

Oh, another one, Doctor had dictated that "the patient has trash in his mouth"

(oral thrush)
 

jbone

Herro!
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Sep 17, 2005
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Some freakin corn field in Iowa
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#4 is a classic. :laugh: :laugh:
 

medicalbound

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"pt has FHx of sick as hell anemia"
 

45408

aw buddy
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Jun 14, 2004
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circus sized, eh?
 

masterMood

Membership Revoked
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10+ Year Member
Jun 25, 2004
1,758
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Status
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it's fo' da shortiez...

 
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