- Joined
- Sep 15, 2001
- Messages
- 262
- Reaction score
- 2
Ok, this post may just be the end result of a ridiculously busy shift.... but what the heck. The SDN is always good for a bolus of sardonic humor.
What the heck is the purpose of a hospital code team? This must be the most fragmented and illogical concept I've ever seen executed. At a local community hospital, I had the privilege of witnessing this feat of medical genius first hand. So, there I was, swamped with dictations, when the hospital operator pages out a "code blue" in the lobby. The ED nurses start running for the nearest monitors and "go-bags" and security manages to secure an elevator. I asked the charge nurse why everyone was running and she said that the ED peeps were SUPPOSED to go to the lobby. Inpatient floors were a different story, evidently. I needed a break from dictations anyway, so I hopped a ride on the train to celestial station.
So, our stretcher loaded with rescue randy bags arrives at the side of an obviously drunk young man who slipped in the main lobby. He was quite audibly dropping "F" bombs about his back pain. From several feet away, I appreciated his patent airway. My colleagues were out en masse. Here are some memorable quotes:
1) IM Resident: (Shouting) "There's no code! No code! He's breathing!"
2) Anesthesia attending: "Well, I guess he doesn't need to be intubated."
3) Critical Care Nurse: "Get me a collar, someone!"
4) Medical Student on IM Rotation: "Get a fingerstick! What's the fingerstick?"
Its clear that this 300 lb dude is going to buy himself a ride to the ER. While orchestrating his movement to the spine board, the crowd very suddenly diminished. The dust hadn't settled before at least two dozen people had retreated. Thankfully, a surgical resident ran up to offer her assistance.
Surgical resident: "Vitals! Vitals!"
EM Resident: "What? Stop shouting."
Surgical resident: "VITALS! Anyone have 'em?"
EM Resident: "Are you serious? Why? He's breathing and most definitely has a pulse."
Surgical resident: "Well, I'm here for access! That's my job."
EM Resident: "Really. Well, I don't think he's in urgent need of a central line."
Surgical resident: "Oh."
EM Resident: "But, you're more than welcome to help us load him onto the backboard and order any necessary diagnostic tests."
Surgical resident: "Uhm, no thanks."
So, as we're lifting this small package onto the spine board, I hear this same surgical resident explaining to her medical student about how cardiac arrests are run.
Surgical resident: "So, internal medicine runs the code. Anesthesia takes charge of the airway. I'm there to get a line."
I could no longer help myself. I turned to the medical student and explained to her how codes are run in the emergency department. "When someone comes in full arrest," I said, "the first thing we do is pick up the phone. I ask cardiology about the etiology of the arrest while consulting with anesthesia about the most appropriate induction agent. Medicine thankfully gives us their input on how many rounds of epinephrine the patient will require."
Third year medical student: "Really?"
And I was silent. I could not speak... I looked into the heart of light, the silence.....
In it for the prestige,
What the heck is the purpose of a hospital code team? This must be the most fragmented and illogical concept I've ever seen executed. At a local community hospital, I had the privilege of witnessing this feat of medical genius first hand. So, there I was, swamped with dictations, when the hospital operator pages out a "code blue" in the lobby. The ED nurses start running for the nearest monitors and "go-bags" and security manages to secure an elevator. I asked the charge nurse why everyone was running and she said that the ED peeps were SUPPOSED to go to the lobby. Inpatient floors were a different story, evidently. I needed a break from dictations anyway, so I hopped a ride on the train to celestial station.
So, our stretcher loaded with rescue randy bags arrives at the side of an obviously drunk young man who slipped in the main lobby. He was quite audibly dropping "F" bombs about his back pain. From several feet away, I appreciated his patent airway. My colleagues were out en masse. Here are some memorable quotes:
1) IM Resident: (Shouting) "There's no code! No code! He's breathing!"
2) Anesthesia attending: "Well, I guess he doesn't need to be intubated."
3) Critical Care Nurse: "Get me a collar, someone!"
4) Medical Student on IM Rotation: "Get a fingerstick! What's the fingerstick?"
Its clear that this 300 lb dude is going to buy himself a ride to the ER. While orchestrating his movement to the spine board, the crowd very suddenly diminished. The dust hadn't settled before at least two dozen people had retreated. Thankfully, a surgical resident ran up to offer her assistance.
Surgical resident: "Vitals! Vitals!"
EM Resident: "What? Stop shouting."
Surgical resident: "VITALS! Anyone have 'em?"
EM Resident: "Are you serious? Why? He's breathing and most definitely has a pulse."
Surgical resident: "Well, I'm here for access! That's my job."
EM Resident: "Really. Well, I don't think he's in urgent need of a central line."
Surgical resident: "Oh."
EM Resident: "But, you're more than welcome to help us load him onto the backboard and order any necessary diagnostic tests."
Surgical resident: "Uhm, no thanks."
So, as we're lifting this small package onto the spine board, I hear this same surgical resident explaining to her medical student about how cardiac arrests are run.
Surgical resident: "So, internal medicine runs the code. Anesthesia takes charge of the airway. I'm there to get a line."
I could no longer help myself. I turned to the medical student and explained to her how codes are run in the emergency department. "When someone comes in full arrest," I said, "the first thing we do is pick up the phone. I ask cardiology about the etiology of the arrest while consulting with anesthesia about the most appropriate induction agent. Medicine thankfully gives us their input on how many rounds of epinephrine the patient will require."
Third year medical student: "Really?"
And I was silent. I could not speak... I looked into the heart of light, the silence.....
In it for the prestige,