How busy will I be 3rd year? Should I break up w/ my bf?

[medstudent87]

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I'm wondering what my schedule will be like next year. Do we work every single day or do we get weekends off?

My boyfriend and I live 4/5 hours apart and this long-distance situation is hard enough as it is; we see each other about every 3 weeks. I don't wanna make him stay with me if he's NEVER gonna see me 3rd year, but I haven't mentioned to him how busy I might be. Should I just end it for his sake before I start studying for Step 1 or what?

I finally found someone I love (for the first time in my life) and I'm afraid that med school is going to ruin any chance of it working out between us...
(I'm gay, so its not that easy to just find someone new, closer to where I am)

 

[medstudent87]

woops...i meant to post this in the 3rd year section....how do I move it?

 

[AlexMorph]

I'm wondering what my schedule will be like next year. Do we work every single day or do we get weekends off?

My boyfriend and I live 4/5 hours apart and this long-distance situation is hard enough as it is; we see each other about every 3 weeks. I don't wanna make him stay with me if he's NEVER gonna see me 3rd year, but I haven't mentioned to him how busy I might be. Should I just end it for his sake before I start studying for Step 1 or what?

I finally found someone I love (for the first time in my life) and I'm afraid that med school is going to ruin any chance of it working out between us...
(I'm gay, so its not that easy to just find someone new, closer to where I am)

Don't quit on the relationship just yet. Plenty of people find a way to make it work. If your bf isn't complaining about the time you two spend together right now, why ruin a good thing? You clearly seem to be into it. You two will find a way to make it happen.

 

[Perrotfish]

If you're happy with him then don't break up with him. If you never see him third year and it makes him miserable then he can break up with you whenever he wants. If he loves you enough/he's enough of a pushover that he'll stay with you through third year even though he's miserable be grateful that you found someone so enamored/desperate and make it up to him when move to where he's at for/after residency.

 

[nlax30]

Your schedule is going to heavily depend on which rotation you're on and where. Could be outpatient clinic Mon-Fri 8-5pm sort of thing or better, OR it could be an inpatient rotation where you're working almost every day, long hours, taking some call, etc...

It's not like you're NEVER going to see him during 3rd year. And if the relationship is otherwise healthy and going well I certainly wouldn't break up now because of the possibility of a crappy future schedule. What I would probably suggest is that the two of you need to be on the same page in regards to your schedule over the next year and beyond. Both of you either need to agree to continue the relationship with the realization that your schedule is going to suck for quite a while, or decide that this is going to be deal breaker for one or both of ya'll and move on now before someone gets hurt.

 

[coup de chance]

Hell to the no! Def don't break up unless you don't like him or somehow the relationship is messing up your life.

There is always Skype. 😍

Beside, you'll appreciate each other more since you only have limited time together

 

[HTxFrog]

Of course you shouldn't break up just b/c you are going to be busy. I mean if you really love them, that would be kind of stupid. You aren't THAT busy. I mean you can still seem them every 3 weeks at least especially when you aren't on surgery or something. I get off at 2-3 right now for peds and a lot of my rotations were 8-4 so far. Not that bad at all

 

[ShyRem]

I'm seeing this from a different perspective.

If you're willing to break up with him just because you're going to be a 3rd year med student, then yes. Because your reasons have nothing to do with med school. If you truly loved him, you wouldn't ask the question and would make it work. But to be considering giving up before you even try speaks volumes.

If, on the other hand, you are thinking he is such a wonderful person and I love him that much that I don't want to see him hurt while I'm insanely busy because I'm choosing my career over my relationship -- oh, wait. I'm back to my argument above. Never mind.

Look, bottom line: if this is the right relationship and he's the right person you'll find a way to work it out. If it isn't, then you'll break up. (speaks the woman married for 17 years who just went through med school, is in residency still married to the greatest guy ever.)

 

[Ragman]

I'm wondering what my schedule will be like next year. Do we work every single day or do we get weekends off?

My boyfriend and I live 4/5 hours apart and this long-distance situation is hard enough as it is; we see each other about every 3 weeks. I don't wanna make him stay with me if he's NEVER gonna see me 3rd year, but I haven't mentioned to him how busy I might be. Should I just end it for his sake before I start studying for Step 1 or what?

I finally found someone I love (for the first time in my life) and I'm afraid that med school is going to ruin any chance of it working out between us...
(I'm gay, so its not that easy to just find someone new, closer to where I am)

Based on your thread about not being "cut out" for medical school, I think you should drop out of school and break up with your boyfriend at the same time. Because apparently your knee-jerk response to every single obstacle in life is to run away from it and avoid even trying.

Or maybe you should start being a little more grateful about what you have. That is, someone who loves you and the opportunity itself to work hard and make something of yourself. Some people are born into worse circumstances and would sell their soul for the chance to get accepted into medical school.

 

[McGillGrad]

There's a lot going on in this thread.

 

[colbgw02]

You should definitely break up with him. Consider it a moral imperative.