How do I cope with my dead social life?

[coconutlover]

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[DarkBluMage]

Open your mouth and let people know you’re available to hangout if they’re planning outings cause you’re looking for stuff to do….

 

[LunaOri]

Plan some stuff and ask others to join you. Grab a drink after studying, go for a hike, catch a ballgame….

 

[Goro]

Plan some stuff and ask others to join you. Grab a drink after studying, go for a hike, catch a ballgame….

What are the things you like to do? Focus on some, send an email to your class and find out if there are Kindred Spirits.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Loneliness in medical school...

Not sure why I'm posting this...guess I would just like to feel like I'm not alone. Ever since coming to med school (I'm an M1) I've felt pretty lonely and disconnected from my class. People are nice enough and making small talk is ok I guess, but I don't have any close friends or people I...

forums.studentdoctor.net

The Silent Struggle: Isolation in Med School - STATMed Learning

In part 3 of our series by STATMed alumna Dr. MJ, she discusses how struggling medical students suffer from a feeling of isolation in med school.

statmedlearning.com

 

[SurfingDoctor]

Learn to swipe right...

 

[Chelseadagger]

nobody says you have to be friends with your classmates either. Find interest groups for your hobbies in whatever city you’re in. Sports leagues, book clubs, whatever.

 

[LucidSplash]

Honestly I would suggest more going out and doing things and less posting on SDN.

 

[IlDestriero]

nobody says you have to be friends with your classmates either. Find interest groups for your hobbies in whatever city you’re in. Sports leagues, book clubs, whatever.

This is the answer! Look outside the classroom and you’ll be happier and healthier for it. I used to work out every day. I never once went running with or worked out with a med school classmate. I went out often, also often without my classmates. Maybe I’d meet up with them later if I didn’t have anything better to do. lol.

 

[operaman]

Yeah med school is a bit odd. Definitely seconding the advice to find friends outside school, though everything in moderation. Sometimes it's nice to commiserate with others who know what you're going through, but also nice to decompress with people who don't know or give a crap about medicine.

I too probably missed out on being part of a big vibrant friend group of classmates - combo of me grinding hard in the beginning while groups formed and me not particularly wanting to hang out with other people much. As I am fond of saying even now: I like to be invited to things, but I don't want to go. But I did end up finding a small group of friends in my class that I still keep in touch with today.

At school I made a number of friends just by studying in the library and striking up conversations. Also found some friends via mandatory small group/PBL style activities. Others I made by starting some student groups that centered around artistic things I enjoy doing.

Outside school, lots of friends via church, local arts scene where I was pretty active.

Basically, just leave the house and be where people are and where they may be doing things you're also doing. Then just talk to them like a normal human and invite them to do things.

 

[JuicedToTheSocks]

nobody says you have to be friends with your classmates either. Find interest groups for your hobbies in whatever city you’re in. Sports leagues, book clubs, whatever.

This. Can't stand classmates, most of whom talk smack behind each other back

If u lift u can make friends easily. Or u can just lift to make the voices stop like urs truly

 

[Dral]

I agree with trying to schedule events. It is as simple as a happy hour. Back when I was in med school, I formed a fb group about going to a particular place on Fridays for happy hour and invited people to the group. That was back in '06. I'm going to get together with a lot of those folks in May as one of them is getting married.

The way to approach it is this: Find one or two people who you think might be into that sort of thing. Then, you send out a message to others and say "So and so and I are going to happy hour if you want to join". That way, people understand it is a group thing and that they won't be stuck somewhere just with someone else. That seems to give a lot of people an amount of anxiety (possibly being stuck with just one other person). However, large groups also give people anxiety. If you can project that it is a small group activity, you are probably more likely to get people to come hang out.

Also, try to center it around something like a sporting event for instance. People like the idea of that even if they are not rooting for a team or sport since watching something like that can take away the anxiety that some people have about having to be engaged in conversation constantly. After a few times out, you'll hopefully start to find a core group of people who like to hang out with each other.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Honestly I would suggest more going out and doing things and less posting on SDN.

Although I think contemporary times has people just doomscrolling... we don't do that here. 😉

Go on a cruise by yourself for a week. Maybe a short 4-day if you really can't stand to be away from studying.

 

[voxveritatisetlucis]

It’s not really a medical school thing tbh. Many people are beyond that stage in their life in med school in my experience. Maybe the first few weeks a lot of people partied and went out but now hardly ever

 

[annoyedpsychiatrist]

this is a problem that increases with age really, as you transition through life stages. Inevitably people grow apart and have different paths. When i was a student, stuff like tinder did actually feel the void. Dating was a way of getting out, meeting people, and sometimes you become friends with them in the interim. Online was easiest way to meet people really.

 

[mistafab]

If you have a dead social life - that is a choice you are actively making.

 

[Entadus]

be grateful you have a quiet roommate so you can get some studying done at home.
to socialize you will have to go out and put yourself out there more.
don't be too hard on yourself; it's a process and you won't have as much time and energy for socializing as you did in undergrad

 

[RunsOnCaffeine]

Start by having a beer or sometime with one friend. Then invite another person to join, then another. Once you get a few, organize an outing or host a dinner or game night or something. If you were able to able to be social in college, you should be able to in med school. Most med students I knew had a fun side, and the ones that don't will be obvious.

If you truly can't find anyone in your class you can hang out with, then do something on the side. Can be anything from joining a soccer league to taking dance lessons, to going out to bars.