How do you cope with failed expectations?

[Alakazam123]

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This is going to be a semi-venting...

For those who have read my previous posts, you'll probably know that my research experience has not been the best.

When I started my master's program in pharmaceutical sciences I really thought I could make a difference, and be on my way to becoming an excellent bench scientist. I wanted to create a new drug to cure neurodegenerative disease like MS or ALS.

In my evaluation with my PI today, I was told that my benchwork skills are sub-par, and that the PI whom I worked with did not feel good about my performance. He told me flat-out that if I want to go into the pharmaceutical industry, that I have to be much better than this. My PI was nice about this all. He told me not to feel discouraged and to do my best to really improve in the coming months, as I reach the end of my master's program. However, all those dreams of splendor went down the drain. I don't think I'll ever start a biotech company let alone being a consultant at one. I'll probably just be forgotten in the sands of time.

I want to apply to medical school, and really focused on my GPA, MCAT, and letters of recommendations. My GPA is looking good in my Master's program. However, idk about my MCAT yet as I'll be retaking it again.

I thought that I could get into medical school, do some excellent research, and do a residency and eventually consult for a pharmaceutical company. This discussion has led my dreams and ambitions to crumble...and it's just been tough. Have any of you ever faced this sort of thing?

@AnatomyGrey12 , @RangerBob I'd really appreciate your input...it really has been a tough time...

 

[ThrowawayShmoaway]

I wanted to create a new drug to cure neurodegenerative disease like MS or ALS.

For starters, you had unrealistic expectations...
But, your PI is right: don't get discouraged. This is all constructive criticism, and, on the bright side, at least you have a mentor that is willing to be frank with you and let you know where to improve.

 

[altblue]

I'll be honest in that I'm not that great at bench research, but I'll try to help regardless.

Chances are you have the intelligence for it but are lacking in some necessary soft skills, which I observed holding other people back at research. Are you disorganized? Are you not paying close enough attention when performing lab techniques? Do you set realistic expectations for experiments or are they convoluted and overly ambitious?

BTW, you don't have to go to medical school and complete residency to be head of a biotech company/research group, and you should only really consider medical school/residency if you're interested in patient care in some capacity.

 

[Alakazam123]

For starters, you had unrealistic expectations...
But, your PI is right: don't get discouraged. This is all constructive criticism, and, on the bright side, at least you have a mentor that is willing to be frank with you and let you know where to improve.

But I have about 9 months left in my MA program (it's only 1.5 years long instead of 2 years long). How do I cope with the fact that I may always be a mediocre scientist and never start a unique and novel pharmaceutical company or even contribute any novel ideas to science?

Is this it for benchwork?

 

[Alakazam123]

I'll be honest in that I'm not that great at bench research, but I'll try to help regardless.

Chances are you have the intelligence for it but are lacking in some necessary soft skills, which I observed holding other people back at research. Are you disorganized? Are you not paying close enough attention when performing lab techniques? Do you set realistic expectations for experiments or are they convoluted and overly ambitious?

BTW, you don't have to go to medical and residency to be head of a biotech company/research, and you should only really consider medical school/residency if you're interested in patient care in some capacity.

My PI said that I have a good understanding of the big picture, but sometimes don't think about all the little details in an experiment that may impact the outcome. He's stated that I've progressed intellectually quite well and am understanding what we talk about, etc. However, yeah...I suppose the actual performing of the experiment is not the best.

What I was wondering is...do you think I may have a shot at computational work?

 

[altblue]

My PI said that I have a good understanding of the big picture, but sometimes don't think about all the little details in an experiment that may impact the outcome. He's stated that I've progressed intellectually quite well and am understanding what we talk about, etc. However, yeah...I suppose the actual performing of the experiment is not the best.

What I was wondering is...do you think I may have a shot at computational work?

That was always my issue. I excelled at understanding the purpose of and concepts behind the research and analyzing gathered data, but found the little details of the experiment boring and didn't pay attention to them as well as I should have. You might want to consider taking more careful notes and coming up with a game plan with your PI to address this issue. Sounds like more of a "research skill" issue than an innate one.

I don't have a background in pharmaceutical work so I can't answer that. Might want to ask someone with that background.

 

[MyOdyssey]

My PI said that I have a good understanding of the big picture, but sometimes don't think about all the little details in an experiment that may impact the outcome. He's stated that I've progressed intellectually quite well and am understanding what we talk about, etc. However, yeah...I suppose the actual performing of the experiment is not the best.

What I was wondering is...do you think I may have a shot at computational work?

How good are you at math, statistics, and software coding?

 

[Alakazam123]

How good are you at math, statistics, and software coding?

Don't have too much experience with either. But I can learn theoretical stuff pretty well, and pretty easily. I can read the textbook, and practice on the computer. I enjoy theoretical problems, and things that involve a lot of deduction and analysis. But I suck at the soft skills for bench research.

 

[eteshoe]

Hey @Alakazam123,

Technical competence at bench research takes years to develop. Some folks are naturally gifted as far as being experimentalists but they’re outliers.

I’m a couple years into my PhD studies as a dual degree student and I’m finally really comfortable with my hands (this isn’t to say I don’t still make small mistakes here and there). This confidence came from thousands of hours of failures during my UG, gap years in industry, masters, and (now) med school .

Unfortunately, being a good experimentalist is not for the faint of heart. You have to put in a ton of reps to be really competent. In my case I’m trying to be a competent physician scientist and thus it’s a needed skill for my toolbox. If this notion doesn’t hold true for you then there is no need to fret. You can increase your computational skills or clinical research skills and still make an impact in the future.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[Alakazam123]

Hey @Alakazam123,

Technical competence at bench research takes years to develop. Some folks are naturally gifted as far as being experimentalists but they’re outliers.

I’m a couple years into my PhD studies as a dual degree student and I’m finally really comfortable with my hands (this isn’t to say I don’t still make small mistakes here and there). This confidence came from thousands of hours of failures during my UG, gap years in industry, masters, and (now) med school .

Unfortunately, being a good experimentalist is not for the faint of heart. You have to put in a ton of reps to be really competent. In my case I’m trying to be a competent physician scientist and thus it’s a needed skill for my toolbox. If this notion doesn’t hold true for you then there is no need to fret. You can increase your computational skills or clinical research skills and still make an impact in the future.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

My PI said that as of now, he'd give me a "B+" in terms of an evaluation. However, he also said that he cares about me and my future, and won't officially give me that grade on my transcript because he understands it'd be detrimental to my medical school application. However, he said that if he were to evaluate me, that's where he'd place me.

He told me that what's saving me from getting a C, or a D in his lab, is the fact that I understand the concepts that are thrown at me, and that I've been clear in my communication and understand overarching concepts well.

 

[Alakazam123]

Hey @Alakazam123,

Technical competence at bench research takes years to develop. Some folks are naturally gifted as far as being experimentalists but they’re outliers.

I’m a couple years into my PhD studies as a dual degree student and I’m finally really comfortable with my hands (this isn’t to say I don’t still make small mistakes here and there). This confidence came from thousands of hours of failures during my UG, gap years in industry, masters, and (now) med school .

Unfortunately, being a good experimentalist is not for the faint of heart. You have to put in a ton of reps to be really competent. In my case I’m trying to be a competent physician scientist and thus it’s a needed skill for my toolbox. If this notion doesn’t hold true for you then there is no need to fret. You can increase your computational skills or clinical research skills and still make an impact in the future.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

My dream is to be a doctor and perhaps do some consulting work for pharmaceutical companies on the side. Perhaps being a computational modeler (PK/PD modeling), etc.

But yeah, dunno where I'm gonna end up at this point honestly. I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row to get into medical school.

 

[eteshoe]

My dream is to be a doctor and perhaps do some consulting work for pharmaceutical companies on the side. Perhaps being a computational modeler (PK/PD modeling), etc.

But yeah, dunno where I'm gonna end up at this point honestly. I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row to get into medical school.

That dream is technically not impossible. Your PI has just stated that you have areas that are lacking.

Focus on getting into med school (first and foremost) and maybe take up some computational/biostat projects during that time (it will be a steep learning curve but that’s how you build skills). Always be on the lookout for unique opportunities and where your interests+skills can be useful to the pharmaceutical industry.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[Alakazam123]

That dream is technically not impossible. Your PI has just stated that you have areas that are lacking.

Focus on getting into med school (first and foremost) and maybe take up some computational/biostat projects during that time (it will be a steep learning curve but that’s how you build skills). Always be on the lookout for unique opportunities and where your interests+skills can be useful to the pharmaceutical industry.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

Do you think 9-10 months is enough to learn PK/PD modeling?

 

[Opal10]

This is going to be a semi-venting...

For those who have read my previous posts, you'll probably know that my research experience has not been the best.

When I started my master's program in pharmaceutical sciences I really thought I could make a difference, and be on my way to becoming an excellent bench scientist. I wanted to create a new drug to cure neurodegenerative disease like MS or ALS.

In my evaluation with my PI today, I was told that my benchwork skills are sub-par, and that the PI whom I worked with did not feel good about my performance. He told me flat-out that if I want to go into the pharmaceutical industry, that I have to be much better than this. My PI was nice about this all. He told me not to feel discouraged and to do my best to really improve in the coming months, as I reach the end of my master's program. However, all those dreams of splendor went down the drain. I don't think I'll ever start a biotech company let alone being a consultant at one. I'll probably just be forgotten in the sands of time.

I want to apply to medical school, and really focused on my GPA, MCAT, and letters of recommendations. My GPA is looking good in my Master's program. However, idk about my MCAT yet as I'll be retaking it again.

I thought that I could get into medical school, do some excellent research, and do a residency and eventually consult for a pharmaceutical company. This discussion has led my dreams and ambitions to crumble...and it's just been tough. Have any of you ever faced this sort of thing?

@AnatomyGrey12 , @RangerBob I'd really appreciate your input...it really has been a tough time...

I understand you're mostly venting your frustrations, so I first want to say I'm sorry that you feel so discouraged at the moment. But hang in there!
I'm not sure about your research background, but if you've only been doing bench research for a little over a year (or not even a year yet) I would take your PI's evaluation seriously, but at this stage in the game it's no biggie! It certainly doesn't mean you have to give up on your dream.

You're not born knowing all of the small details that make a difference during a Western Blot or [insert bench technique here]. The important thing as a researcher is that you keep a careful log of everything you're doing so that you can troubleshoot when things go wrong and improve the next time. Another thing is to not be afraid to ask for help, even if it's something you perceive as "easy" and don't want to trouble others with.
Half the time in a basic science lab what you're doing won't work for some unknown reason. I joke that the stars weren't aligned properly that day. I have another co-worker who steadfastly refuses to do experiments on Fridays because "Friday experiments never work".
You're still a student and still learning the basics. It sounds like your PI believes in you and your ability to improve, I would say keep working to improve yourself as your finish your master's. 9 months is a long time. Read technical manuals online and use Researchgate.com as a resource for troubleshooting. Treat each experiment as if it's the first time and really evaluate WHY you're doing each step, don't just do things to do things. It's usually not the stars' fault, it's usually a problem that can be solved.
Example: Using a buffer. Why are you using that buffer? When was the last time the buffer stock was made? Is the buffer stock contaminated? Why not use a similar, but different type of buffer? What's in the buffer? What's the temperature of the buffer during the experiment? How does it affect your sample? Are researchers in other labs having issues with this buffer? Are different buffers more effective for different samples? Etc.
If you truly haven't improved at all in 9 months, that's a different conversation. But I certainly believe you can improve loads during that time. Use those 9 months to really push yourself and become the best you can possibly be!

 

[libertyyne]

No one wakes up one day and is excellent at a skill. You get better by relentlessly practicing, making mistakes, and correcting mistakes. You get better by putting in the effort to the point where eventually you are good. If you have a dream, you should not be dismayed by your performance, you should be hungry for improvement. Soo hungry that you spend more time working on it compared to other people, that you read about it , breath it, focus on it, are almost obsessed with it.

 

[makemeadoctordoctordoctor]

No one wakes up one day and is excellent at a skill. You get better by relentlessly practicing, making mistakes, and correcting mistakes. You get better by putting in the effort to the point where eventually you are good. If you have a dream, you should not be dismayed by your performance, you should be hungry for improvement. Soo hungry that you spend more time working on it compared to other people, that you read about it , breath it, focus on it, are almost obsessed with it.

Agreed on the practice part - the best piece of advice I've gotten was from my first research mentor telling me to take up cross stitch/knitting to get better at pipetting/wet lab work.

 

[Alakazam123]

Thank you all for your kind words. I'm feeling much better 🙂 🙂

 

[JustaDO]

On my way to becoming an excellent bench scientist.

I wanted to create a new drug to cure neurodegenerative disease like MS or ALS.

I don't think I'll ever start a biotech company let alone being a consultant at one.

I thought that I could get into medical school, do some excellent research, and do a residency and eventually consult for a pharmaceutical company.

All this, plus:

This is not a case of failed expectations, but unrealistic expectations.

 

[Alakazam123]

All this, plus:

View attachment 246635

This is not a case of failed expectations, but unrealistic expectations.

Fair point. I have acknowledged in my previous post about my interest in neurosurgery that it is premature to decide on a field right now.

 

[Kpw101]

I'm going to be frank with you.

You have a very grand way of thinking about things. Not to be disrespectful in any way but I've seen that you've taken your MCAT multiple times already. Your first worry should be rocking the MCAT if your goal is to get into medical school which is already an uphill battle.

Instead of coming to SDN and being upset that you won't cure MS or ALS you should be asking us for advice on the MCAT and how the many of us who went through it did it.

Your posts are really concerning and is indicative of someone that doesn't really understand the process. You're expecting too much of yourself too fast and the other areas that you should be worrying about are taking the hit.

 

[Alakazam123]

I'm going to be frank with you.

You have a very grand way of thinking about things. Not to be disrespectful in any way but I've seen that you've taken your MCAT multiple times already. Your first worry should be rocking the MCAT if your goal is to get into medical school which is already an uphill battle.

Instead of coming to SDN and being upset that you won't cure MS or ALS you should be asking us for advice on the MCAT and how the many of us who went through it did it.

Your posts are really concerning and is indicative of someone that doesn't really understand the process. You're expecting too much of yourself too fast and the other areas that you should be worrying about are taking the hit.

Yes, I understand that I have a bunch of other stuff to take care of. I mentioned in an earlier post, that I want to get my ducks in a row to get into medical school.

The reason why I am concerned about the MA research, is due to the fact that I had three objectives in strengthening my medical school application:

1. Improve my GPA

2. Rock the MCAT (which is another thing I am working on)

3. Get a good Letter of Recommendation from the PI

It is because of #3, that I posted this question. I really thought that I could kick ass in my MA program, and impress my PI, and do well on my project (which happens to be on ALS btw). However, this has not happened, and it worries me that I am so bad at it. I am worried for two reasons...I worry that I may not have a very good letter of recommendation, and I also worry it may not give me the adequate research skills to perform in industry or in medical school.

And yes, on the side, I really wanted to make an impact on science and become a successful doctor in the future (of ANY SPECIALTY at this point), and try to do some work in the pharmaceutical industry (as that is what I am currently doing my research in).

However frank you may be, all I'm trying to say is that my journey has been disappointing so far.

 

[libertyyne]

I'm going to be frank with you.

You have a very grand way of thinking about things. Not to be disrespectful in anyway but I've seen that you've taken your MCAT multiple times already. Your first worry should be rocking the MCAT if your goal is to get into medical school which is already an uphill battle.

Instead of coming to SDN and being upset that you won't cure MS or ALS you should be asking us for advice on the MCAT and how the many of us who went through it did it.

Your posts are really concerning and is indicative of someone that doesn't really understand the process. You're expecting too much of yourself too fast and the other areas that you should be worrying about are taking the hit.

Holy crap just went through OPs posting history.

1. Get a grip OP.
2. You have two mcats with 496 and 505
3. You have a gpa of 3.4~
4. You have been kicked out of a lab, and have been having difficulty with post docs.
5. Your interest in specialty fluctuates from plastics to neurosurgery to ortho to pharm development.

OP there is nothing wrong with dreaming big, but nothing you have done shows me that you are going to be able to get an MD admission let alone an MD/PHD admission or make a billion dollars in drug development.
You need to seriously take some time and figure out what you want and take baby steps towards that. Massive dreams take baby steps you dont wake up one day as jonas salk.

What you should be doing is getting a postbac and taking an mcat course.
Afterwards applying broadly and hoping that an MD school will take you.
then think about applying phd when you get accepted to MD.
and lastly any major career decisions like specialty choice and whatever you are dreaming up, after passing medical school and step.

 

[Alakazam123]

I'm going to be frank with you.

You have a very grand way of thinking about things. Not to be disrespectful in any way but I've seen that you've taken your MCAT multiple times already. Your first worry should be rocking the MCAT if your goal is to get into medical school which is already an uphill battle.

Instead of coming to SDN and being upset that you won't cure MS or ALS you should be asking us for advice on the MCAT and how the many of us who went through it did it.

Your posts are really concerning and is indicative of someone that doesn't really understand the process. You're expecting too much of yourself too fast and the other areas that you should be worrying about are taking the hit.

My dream is to be a doctor and perhaps do some consulting work for pharmaceutical companies on the side. Perhaps being a computational modeler (PK/PD modeling), etc.

But yeah, dunno where I'm gonna end up at this point honestly. I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row to get into medical school.

I also have asked on SDN about the MCAT, how to study during the semester for it, and about my tutoring situation for the MCAT as well.

 

[Kpw101]

I also have asked on SDN about the MCAT, how to study during the semester for it, and about my tutoring situation for the MCAT as well.

If you still don't see the problem I am trying to highlight, I don't know how to help you. Search bar my MCAT study plan, I hope it helps you. Good luck.

 

[Alakazam123]

Holy crap just went through OPs posting history.

1. Get a grip OP.
2. You have two mcats with 496 and 505
3. You have a gpa of 3.4~
4. You have been kicked out of a lab, and have been having difficult with post docs.
5. Your interest in specialty fluctuates from plastics to neurosurgery to ortho to pharm development.

OP there is nothing wrong with dreaming big, but nothing you have done shows me that you are going to be able to get an MD admission let alone an MD/PHD admission or make a billion dollars in drug development.
You need to seriously take some time and figure out what you want and take baby steps towards that. Massive dreams take baby steps you dont wake up one day as jonas salk.

What you should be doing is getting a postbac and taking an mcat course.
Afterwards applying broadly and hoping that an MD school will take you.
then think about applying phd when you get accepted to MD.
and lastly any major career decisions like specialty choice and whatever you are dreaming up, after passing medical school and step.

You know what man, I'm sick of this. I've said multiple times that I recant my statements, and that I'm focused on the immediate things. All I was trying to say with my post here, is that I had big expectations for myself going into master's program, and thought that I'd really kick-ass at my research.

And that that didn't really happen. That's all that happened. I know I have a lot to work on, and that's why I am working through my master's program and trying to prove myself. I also have acknowledged that it's TOO EARLY to think about specialties and that it was silly of me to do so. This post was not meant to be tied to anything in the past.

I said what I said, make of it what you will. I'm going to stop replying to all posts at this point. I'm sick of having to explain and apologize all the time.

 

[Gurby]

you dont wake up one day as jonas salk.

 

[500miles]

You know what man, I'm sick of this. I've said multiple times that I recant my statements, and that I'm focused on the immediate things. All I was trying to say with my post here, is that I had big expectations for myself going into master's program, and thought that I'd really kick-ass at my research.

And that that didn't really happen. That's all that happened. I know I have a lot to work on, and that's why I am working through my master's program and trying to prove myself. I also have acknowledged that it's TOO EARLY to think about specialties and that it was silly of me to do so. This post was not meant to be tied to anything in the past.

I said what I said, make of it what you will. I'm going to stop replying to all posts at this point. I'm sick of having to explain and apologize all the time.

I've been working full time in basic science research for over a year now and just now am I starting to understand what is going on. There is a reason some PhD take 8 years to complete. I understand how badly you want to make a difference in the field, but the frustration of research is that unless you are diligent and lucky(and this really is a big factor) you will most likely otnot "cure" but simply push the field that much closer until it tips over into what we see as the cure. It's not the 1920s anymore. Only the lucky scientists stumble across something by themself in their mouldy basement laboratory. Scientific advancement today is a huge, multidisciplinary effort made by thousand of people to achieve a result.

9 months isnt even long enough to learn how to become a good custodian...

 

[altblue]

You know what man, I'm sick of this. I've said multiple times that I recant my statements, and that I'm focused on the immediate things. All I was trying to say with my post here, is that I had big expectations for myself going into master's program, and thought that I'd really kick-ass at my research.

And that that didn't really happen. That's all that happened. I know I have a lot to work on, and that's why I am working through my master's program and trying to prove myself. I also have acknowledged that it's TOO EARLY to think about specialties and that it was silly of me to do so. This post was not meant to be tied to anything in the past.

I said what I said, make of it what you will. I'm going to stop replying to all posts at this point. I'm sick of having to explain and apologize all the time.

That's fair, I can see now why you've been frustrated by the nature of a few of these responses, and I can definitely see that you're reevaluating your expectations better now.

I'll give this a shot too. The most fundamental issue is that from a casual read of this thread it's still not entirely clear to me what your goals are or why you're doing what you're doing. I can go back and tease them out and I have a couple of strong reads on it (physician heavily involved in biotech), but it's been jumbled from your past post history that others have mentioned. This is important to tease out, because you have a number aspects to your application, such as your research, GPA, and MCAT that aren't going well and it's exhausting to tackle them all at once. Forget the specialty, do you actually want to be a physician?

It's important to be honest with yourself because you have a lot of issues to sort out, and to be frank you haven't sorted them out for whatever reason, so you need to make sure you want to do it and that it's worth your time.

If you want to be a physician and keep investing the time:
1) The MA is helpful for research focused candidates who already have solid stats, but is of little use to applicants with lower stats since research-oriented schools typically have high stats. This is the biggest issue because it's not using your time that could be spent improving your application productively. You likely need a post-bacc or SMP if you're intent on allopathic medical school
2) You need to retake the MCAT for any shot at a solid DO or low-tier MD school. I'm sure you're aware of this issue. But you're already 2 MCATs in the hole so that may not be too wise.

You aren't getting into a research heavy MD program or MD/PhD, so research itself isn't a great use of your time. With your stats and current level of research productivity, that ship has sailed. I'm sorry. You'd have to get involved more in biotech at less research focused institution or sometime thereafter. I get the feeling, it's not like I had a shot at any of the stat heavy schools - immaturity and personal issues held me back.

Finish the MA if you feel the need to, but further research experience will be of little use. You have to work on the fundamentals now, which desperately need repair. Only then can you dream big.

 

[Alakazam123]

That's fair, I can see now why you've been frustrated by the nature of a few of these responses, and I can definitely see that you're reevaluating your expectations better now.

I'll give this a shot too. The most fundamental issue is that from a casual read of this thread it's still not entirely clear to me what your goals are or why you're doing what you're doing. I can go back and tease them out and I have a couple of strong reads on it (physician heavily involved in biotech), but it's been jumbled from your past post history that others have mentioned. This is important to tease out, because you have a number aspects to your application, such as your research, GPA, and MCAT that aren't going well and it's exhausting to tackle them all at once. Forget the specialty, do you actually want to be a physician?

It's important to be honest with yourself because you have a lot of issues to sort out, and to be frank you haven't sorted them out for whatever reason, so you need to make sure you want to do it and that it's worth your time.

If you want to be a physician and keep investing the time:
1) The MA is helpful for research focused candidates who already have solid stats, but is of little use to applicants with lower stats since research-oriented schools typically have high stats. This is the biggest issue because it's not using your time that could be spent improving your application productively. You need a post-bacc or SMP if you're intent on medical school
2) You need to retake the MCAT for any shot at a solid DO or low-tier MD. I'm sure you're aware of this issue. But you're already 2 MCATs in the hole.

You aren't getting into a research heavy MD program or MD/PhD, so research itself isn't a great use of your time. With your stats and current level of research productivity, that ship has sailed. I'm sorry. You'd have to get involved more in biotech at less research focused institution or sometime thereafter. I get the feeling, it's not like I had a shot at any of the stat heavy schools - immaturity and personal issues held me back

Finish the MA if you feel the need to, but further research experience will be of little use. You have to work on the fundamentals now, which desperately need repair, and then dream big.

I PM'ed you.

 

[Goro]

Yes, I understand that I have a bunch of other stuff to take care of. I mentioned in an earlier post, that I want to get my ducks in a row to get into medical school.

The reason why I am concerned about the MA research, is due to the fact that I had three objectives in strengthening my medical school application:

1. Improve my GPA

2. Rock the MCAT (which is another thing I am working on)

3. Get a good Letter of Recommendation from the PI

It is because of #3, that I posted this question. I really thought that I could kick ass in my MA program, and impress my PI, and do well on my project (which happens to be on ALS btw). However, this has not happened, and it worries me that I am so bad at it. I am worried for two reasons...I worry that I may not have a very good letter of recommendation, and I also worry it may not give me the adequate research skills to perform in industry or in medical school.

And yes, on the side, I really wanted to make an impact on science and become a successful doctor in the future (of ANY SPECIALTY at this point), and try to do some work in the pharmaceutical industry (as that is what I am currently doing my research in).

However frank you may be, all I'm trying to say is that my journey has been disappointing so far.

You are aware that MD schools don't count GPAs from research MS programs (but DO schools will)?

When I was your age, for my MS project, I wanted to parallel Daniel Gajdusek's strategy of how he identified that kuru had an infectious origin by using chimps to find an infectious origin for schizophrenia.

Well, my thesis advisor shot down really quick (mercifully, very politely).

Talk to your PI about how you can improve your lab work, and work in alab for a few years. I can't sugar coat this, you remind me of me when I was your age, and you need some seasoning.

if you really wish to improve your app, research isn't going to do it. Get out and engage in service to others less fortunate than yourself.

 

[Reverb]

1.) Don't fall into the trap of setting your expectations too high. There is a fine line between zeal and overconfidence, but it's reassuring to see you are recognizing this.

2.) If you love research and could see yourself doing it for the rest of your life, stick with it. Ask your PI what you were doing wrong, then fix it. Make another mistake? Fix that one too.

3.) Now...if you originally went into research with the expectation of being able to help people and now you feel that you won't be able to do that to the degree of which you had originally envisioned and now you are thinking that becoming a physician will allow you to achieve this, go for it. Get that new MCAT score, get those LORs, and get some clinical & non-clinical experience in the real world. If you apply broadly (and maybe consider a few DO schools as a safety-net) you will get where you want to be. Best of luck to you man.