How Do You Make Friends After Graduation?

[kevinus]

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I finished undergrad in December, 2013, and I fortunately have a medical school to attend in August. Everything is great especially with the 8-month break, I thought, until one or two weeks ago when I started to feel extremely lonely.
In the past three months, I've been working out, playing video games, getting a part time job, reading countless books, visiting old acquaintances, and catching up on several TV shows. It's been great. But then I realized how much I miss having people in my age group around me. I practically have no friends in my hometown, and I cannot think of any way to meet new people. I never knew that schools provide the environment in which I can easily connect with other students who live under similar circumstances. Now that I'm outside of academia, at least temporarily, approaching people is difficult. I am not antisocial, but starting a conversation with a complete stranger with is quite awkward.
How do you make friends outside of schoool?

 

[tmn]

Work

 

[fingerscrossed92]

I recommend going online! After graduation I moved to a new city where I knew absolutely no one, and there wasn't really anyone in my age range at work. Networking sites like Meetup are good for group events -- you can go do a fun activity, and might click with some new people. I would also look into online dating apps that offer the option just to look for new friends. I'm not single so I'm not using those sites for the dating features, but I've actually made friends on there.

 

[Keladry]

Find a social group that interests you - book club, dance group, whatever floats your boat 🙂

 

[LizzyM]

Volunteer. There are mid-term elections in the Fall so you might want to get involved in a Congressional campaign or a local election. Other volunteer activities that put you together with other do-gooders (not just one-on-one with a kid or an elderly person) could be fun including playground build-outs, etc.

Look into Meet-ups. I've been to a few organized around a hobby and they were a reasonable way to chat with others with a similar interest over coffee or beer.

Does your local library have a book discussion group? Nature walk group nearby?

Take a class. Not something academic but something fun like improv, cooking, ballroom dancing, etc.

Borrow a dog. Nothing will introduce you to your neighbors like having dog walking duty twice a day. Double points if you can take the dog somewhere to learn how to catch a frisbee.

 

[Stoptheclot]

I work in a lab with 5 other awesome people, but they're all a lot older than me and weren't the social type outside of work. So I joined an adult rec soccer league, talk about high-yield friendship! We had all skill levels, rookies to Rooneys, which made it a lot of fun and with 11 people on the field + a few subs on the sideline, you're at great odds to meet some really fun people.

Volunteering has been another huge plus. We have a Boys and Girls Club, and there are tons of early 20-somethings coming in to tutor/mentor. Often after a long night, a group of us drop by the pub to hangout and have a good time. Also I'm a part of a church group, if that's your cup o tea - we often do fun weekend outings to the zoo, movies or even just a game night.

Find areas of interest and use those as venues to meet other fun people! I totally agree that its hard to "aggressively" pursue others for friendship, but it helps build friendships and social skills that BOTH will be very helpful in maintaining a healthy balance in med school. Good luck and congrats on med school!

 

[kevinus]

Thanks for great ideas. I'm planning to attend a few local meetups!

 

[Redpancreas]

I finished undergrad in December, 2013, and I fortunately have a medical school to attend in August. Everything is great especially with the 8-month break, I thought, until one or two weeks ago when I started to feel extremely lonely.
In the past three months, I've been working out, playing video games, getting a part time job, reading countless books, visiting old acquaintances, and catching up on several TV shows. It's been great. But then I realized how much I miss having people in my age group around me. I practically have no friends in my hometown, and I cannot think of any way to meet new people. I never knew that schools provide the environment in which I can easily connect with other students who live under similar circumstances. Now that I'm outside of academia, at least temporarily, approaching people is difficult. I am not antisocial, but starting a conversation with a complete stranger with is quite awkward.
How do you make friends outside of schoool?

Dude we are literally living the same lives right now!

 

[mrh125]

Haha, I feel the same way too since I also graduated in Dec. I kept a few friends and a casual relationship. You could always take a random post grad class and talk to people or just sit in classes at your uni you graduated from or chill and meet people that way. College provides unique opportunities to meet and mingle with people your age and its hard not to be disappointed about not being able to make friends as easily once you get out. Also, talk to people who you met during college and try and hang out.

 

[Doctor Strange]

Tinder.

No, seriously, I have met some pretty cool people on Tinder.

 

[BeancheBlanco]

Just be more open and inclusive. If someone talks to you, be responsive. Make yourself seem approachable. Dress well, get yourself in shape, look the best you can look. You'll meet people everywhere. At work or just random places. You do have to go out though. Volunteering at places is also a good place, but make sure you pick the right activity where you'll be with the same group of people at least a few times. And once you start meeting a few people, it becomes much easier since you can start meeting their friends. Seems like simple, unimportant stuff but it's definitely a skill that many people lack. One of my friends at work is a pretty strong introvert and she is having a miserable time in her new city. She recently quit her job and moved back to her college town because it got so bad. Let that be a lesson for you.

 

[masaraksh]

Based on personal experience: be careful with the meetup groups & do some research.

I joined one in order to go on a ski trip last winter. Agreed to carpool a couple completely unknown people from the group and really regretted that decision. I had to drive a 50yo divorced CPA accountant who wanted to tell me and the other passenger all about her life, work, and relationship problems. And, it was a snow storm which made it a 4+ hr drive.

 

[BarryZuckerkorn]

http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/

 

[asebasp]

Tinder.

No, seriously, I have met some pretty cool people on Tinder.

+1

 

[SilentSoldier]

I find going to a local bar and becoming a regular has helped me meet friends. Plus the alcohol is great for loosening you up to be able to talk to people better.