How many people on here are single, unsure of speciality, and thus in somewhat..

[crazyhands]

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Just curious: How many people on here are single, unsure of speciality, and therefore in somewhat of a quarter life crisis??

The main reason I am asking is because I am spending quite a bit of time thinking about these things and its getting out of control.

Obviously the decision to specialize in a certain field is a huge one. And I have been reading, shadowing, talking to different folks, etc about specialities. I have narrowed it down some, but I still am not sure and I would obviously not want to make a mistake in this decision.

But I am also spending alot of time thinking about whether I will find that girl that makes me want to spend the rest of my life with her. It almost seems like most of the really sweet girls are taken. And as I am getting older and older, what's left are..well..not really that great?? Either because they are huge sluts, have horrible personalities, etc..

So I just wanted to see how people feel about this and whether I am the only 3rd year medical student "wasting" a ton of time thinking about these things.

I really appreciate any input!!🙂

 

[PMPMD]

Just curious: How many people on here are single, unsure of speciality, and therefore in somewhat of a quarter life crisis??

The main reason I am asking is because I am spending quite a bit of time thinking about these things and its getting out of control.

Obviously the decision to specialize in a certain field is a huge one. And I have been reading, shadowing, talking to different folks, etc about specialities. I have narrowed it down some, but I still am not sure and I would obviously not want to make a mistake in this decision.

But I am also spending alot of time thinking about whether I will find that girl that makes me want to spend the rest of my life with her. It almost seems like most of the really sweet girls are taken. And as I am getting older and older, what's left are..well..not really that great?? Either because they are huge sluts, have horrible personalities, etc..

So I just wanted to see how people feel about this and whether I am the only 3rd year medical student "wasting" a ton of time thinking about these things.

I really appreciate any input!!🙂

I was still single and undecided on specialty at this time MS3. I would view the single thing as a bonus - you don't have to worry about the couples match, or if your SO can find a job where you match. Also, it gets easier to meet people once you're in the clinical side of medicine. You work in a different setting every 6-12 weeks (at least at my school) so you should meet lots of new people (i.e. women).

 

[Aphtalyfe]

Just curious: How many people on here are single, unsure of speciality, and therefore in somewhat of a quarter life crisis??

The main reason I am asking is because I am spending quite a bit of time thinking about these things and its getting out of control.

Obviously the decision to specialize in a certain field is a huge one. And I have been reading, shadowing, talking to different folks, etc about specialities. I have narrowed it down some, but I still am not sure and I would obviously not want to make a mistake in this decision.

But I am also spending alot of time thinking about whether I will find that girl that makes me want to spend the rest of my life with her. It almost seems like most of the really sweet girls are taken. And as I am getting older and older, what's left are..well..not really that great?? Either because they are huge sluts, have horrible personalities, etc..

So I just wanted to see how people feel about this and whether I am the only 3rd year medical student "wasting" a ton of time thinking about these things.

I really appreciate any input!!🙂

My knee jerk reaction is to make fun of you and post something sarcastic and mildly caustic in reply...

However... In all seriousness, I feel the same way you do.

I shall join you in your misery boat.

 

[KSDeacon]

My knee jerk reaction is to make fun of you and post something sarcastic and mildly caustic in reply...

However... In all seriousness, I feel the same way you do.

I shall join you in your misery boat.

This!

 

[Lacheln]

But I am also spending alot of time thinking about whether I will find that girl that makes me want to spend the rest of my life with her. It almost seems like most of the really sweet girls are taken. And as I am getting older and older, what's left are..well..not really that great?? Either because they are huge sluts, have horrible personalities, etc..

You do see the irony here, yes? If the single women are all flawed, as you assume, then by your own logic you are probably not much of a catch yourself. Bad personalities and poor relationship skills are not gender specific.

That said, it sucks to feel like you are out of sync, and that's what it sounds like you are feeling. The good ones are not all taken. Give the people around you the same chance and respect you want single women to give to you, and you'll probably find there are more candidates for Teh Romancizationizing than you thought.

 

[AlexMorph]

 

[sugeny]

Just curious: How many people on here are single, unsure of speciality, and therefore in somewhat of a quarter life crisis??

The main reason I am asking is because I am spending quite a bit of time thinking about these things and its getting out of control.

Obviously the decision to specialize in a certain field is a huge one. And I have been reading, shadowing, talking to different folks, etc about specialities. I have narrowed it down some, but I still am not sure and I would obviously not want to make a mistake in this decision.

But I am also spending alot of time thinking about whether I will find that girl that makes me want to spend the rest of my life with her. It almost seems like most of the really sweet girls are taken. And as I am getting older and older, what's left are..well..not really that great?? Either because they are huge sluts, have horrible personalities, etc..

So I just wanted to see how people feel about this and whether I am the only 3rd year medical student "wasting" a ton of time thinking about these things.

I really appreciate any input!!🙂

Was definitely in that same position during third year. Felt like my whole life was one big amorphous blob, with so many huge decisions rapidly approaching: what specialty, who will be that special someone, where will I live, what do I really want from life. It really REALLY bothered me for at least three months of the year, to the point where I was constantly obsessing about any one of those items, and was super down about the whole ambiguity of it all.

Now in the midst of interview season, I have at least found an awesome specialty for me. I've had to come to peace with the notion that my life will be epic with, or without, a hot sexy soulmate by my side. Maybe I'll meet him, maybe I won't. But I refuse to waste my days longing for another person to 'make me whole.' Life is too short, too precious to lose time on daydreams. Gotta get out, climb the peaks, shred powder, dance until my feet blister, and generally cause a little bit of peace and mayhem, doing my best to leave a positive mark on the world.

Don't worry man, it will all work itself out, life is sweet! Especially fourth year 😉

 

[lucitrea]

1. well if you cant find something you like, find what you dont like and dont to those specialties. which would be the least terrible specialty for you?
2. as for your girl problem, you have time. new female docs dont have time. after residency theyre at ~29-30+ and feelin those eggs waste away. im sure the few sweet single girls out there are saying the same thing you are.

oh damn, the front page had me wander into a whole 'nother area. back to the base

 

[PMPMD]

Another tip to help meet women:

GET OFF SDN!!!

 

[2012mdc]

Just curious: How many people on here are single, unsure of speciality, and therefore in somewhat of a quarter life crisis??

The main reason I am asking is because I am spending quite a bit of time thinking about these things and its getting out of control.

Obviously the decision to specialize in a certain field is a huge one. And I have been reading, shadowing, talking to different folks, etc about specialities. I have narrowed it down some, but I still am not sure and I would obviously not want to make a mistake in this decision.

But I am also spending alot of time thinking about whether I will find that girl that makes me want to spend the rest of my life with her. It almost seems like most of the really sweet girls are taken. And as I am getting older and older, what's left are..well..not really that great?? Either because they are huge sluts, have horrible personalities, etc..

So I just wanted to see how people feel about this and whether I am the only 3rd year medical student "wasting" a ton of time thinking about these things.

I really appreciate any input!!🙂

If you are truly concerned about finding the right girl try to do residency in a bigger city vs a sleepier town. These cities are more likely to have large numbers of single, young professionals.

Med school can put you into a bubble but there are so many single people out there especially if you are in a good, fun city.

You're going to come across a lot of people you don't vibe with but eventually you can find the right girl in cities like SF, Seattle, LA, Chicago, Denver, NYC, Boston, Atlanta, DC, Miami etc. Unless the problem is you...

 

[Ortho Guy]

Making a decision based upon a hypothetical relationship isn't recommended.

 

[crazyhands]

...Maybe I'll meet him, maybe I won't)

Maybe you just met him?? (me) LOL jk😉

Yea I just wanted to get a feel of whether there are other students who feel the same as I do. To clarify myself - I don't feel that the majority of single girls are flawed but it's just that the fairly cute, super sweet girls are almost always taken. And when I meet them and find out they have a bf, I am not really surprised. And I'll bet that the population of those type of girls who are single, is getting smaller and smaller..

thanks for the advice tho, I do appreciate it. I probably should just stop thinking/worring about it and just believe that I will bump into that girl sometime! 👍

any others want to join the boat?? We are set to sail soon lol

 

[DrYoda]

So I just wanted to see how people feel about this and whether I am the only 3rd year medical student "wasting" a ton of time thinking about these things.

I really appreciate any input!!🙂

I can relate on the thinking about specialty choice a lot. I've got it narrowed down to only a few choices and I've been feeling the pressure lately to make a final decision. It's a huge decision though, so I don't feel bad about dwelling on it.

As for being single: it's what you make of it. I think being single is a blast, personally.

Yea I just wanted to get a feel of whether there are other students who feel the same as I do. To clarify myself - I don't feel that the majority of single girls are flawed but it's just that the fairly cute, super sweet girls are almost always taken. And when I meet them and find out they have a bf, I am not really surprised. And I'll bet that the population of those type of girls who are single, is getting smaller and smaller..

Date younger?

 

[DocEspana]

Date younger?

 

[sugeny]

Maybe you just met him?? (me) LOL jk😉

well then hello there 😉 haha, like you said, gotta have faith we'll meet our people someday. In the meantime might as well have as much fun as possible.

Good luck good sir.

 

[Ortho Guy]

Maybe you just met him?? (me) LOL jk😉

Yea I just wanted to get a feel of whether there are other students who feel the same as I do. To clarify myself - I don't feel that the majority of single girls are flawed but it's just that the fairly cute, super sweet girls are almost always taken. And when I meet them and find out they have a bf, I am not really surprised. And I'll bet that the population of those type of girls who are single, is getting smaller and smaller..

thanks for the advice tho, I do appreciate it. I probably should just stop thinking/worring about it and just believe that I will bump into that girl sometime! 👍

any others want to join the boat?? We are set to sail soon lol

Simple, just wait for their first divorce.

 

[shantster]

I was still single and undecided on specialty at this time MS3. I would view the single thing as a bonus - you don't have to worry about the couples match, or if your SO can find a job where you match. Also, it gets easier to meet people once you're in the clinical side of medicine. You work in a different setting every 6-12 weeks (at least at my school) so you should meet lots of new people (i.e. women).

This is causing me the most stress of the whole match process. Given that we match and don't get offers and accept them as we go as with medical school, he is not really able to look for jobs until I match. And since match is so late in the process, that doesn't give much time. I can't imagine how crazy it is for people with families to just pick them all up and move.

 

[45408]

Look on the bright side: you can pick a specialty and location based solely on what you want, without having to take someone else's career aspirations and location desires into consideration. It's liberating.

 

[DocEspana]

dating has its own stresses. for certain. enjoy the ability to move around freely for the match, its at least one nice advantage.

 

[2012mdc]

this is true. Its why I probably need to get single before I match.

My gf is already freaking out, day and night, about me matching somewhere far from NYC and her having to relocate. We've been dating for a bit over a year and match is still 15-16 months away. IDK if I can take 1.5 years more of that constant worrying over it.

Tell her to peace out....

I'm being half serious. Unless you are engaged/married you shouldn't have to deal with someone adding extra stress to the match. I recently got out of relationship in September and it feels great not having to deal with that added stress

 

[Rollo]

Look on the bright side: you can pick a specialty and location based solely on what you want, without having to take someone else's career aspirations and location desires into consideration. It's liberating.

Interesting comment from a married guy...

 

[peppy]

My male friends who were single at the start of residency seem to be doing well in the dating world. Being able to say you're a doctor goes over pretty well with women, apparently. For the most part, their partners are also well-educated and seem like nice, normal women.
Most of them ended up using online dating just because it's more convenient with a resident schedule.
Maybe it's better to just focus on getting the specialty issue settled and then once you know where you'll be for residency you can focus more on putting down roots there, including finding a partner.

 

[atom101]

I feel the same way....its a toss up between pick something like surgery because quite simply I dont have a life now, and it will keep me busy enough to not think about the missing elements, or pick something not surgery, so I make time to date, and find the soulmate!!
Its stressful to make that decision, and not to mention how lonely it gets especially in med school when everyone around is dating/engaged/married/ and social get togethers are awkward making u more aware of how single you are...
I do like some of the replies above...heres hoping things do work out....

 

[officedepot]

.

 

[NotsureMD]

It should be nice. At the very least you can move to a new city and start over with a whole new population of dateable women.

 

[bestcoast]

One of my attendings broke up with his gf at the end of 3rd year. He said it was the best decision he made once he started interviewing.

 

[jdh71]

I was still single and undecided on specialty at this time MS3. I would view the single thing as a bonus - you don't have to worry about the couples match, or if your SO can find a job where you match. Also, it gets easier to meet people once you're in the clinical side of medicine. You work in a different setting every 6-12 weeks (at least at my school) so you should meet lots of new people (i.e. women).

^^^This

Plus a woman will try and tell you stuff, like where you have to live Women are inconvenient until you are done with training. You are much better without one right now.

 

[MilkmanAl]

^^^This

Plus a woman will try and tell you stuff, like where you have to live Women are inconvenient until you are done with training. You are much better without one right now.

It's a bit gloomy, but I agree. It's kind of weird to value the ability to instantly uproot in someone you're dating, but alas, that's where I am right now.

 

[Rollo]

^^^This

Plus a woman will try and tell you stuff, like where you have to live Women are inconvenient until you are done with training. You are much better without one right now.

Unless the woman you're with is willing to follow wherever you go.

Hey who said I can't dream?

 

[jdh71]

Unless the woman you're with is willing to follow wherever you go.

Hey who said I can't dream?

You may find one.

Most, though, have their strict regional biases, usually family and/or weather related.

For instance, you'll never get a California girl out of California, nor a Minnesota girl out of Minnesota - the rare exceptions to this rule do not invalidate the rule, rather underline the rule by virture of the rareness.

 

[Rollo]

You may find one.

Most, though, have their strict regional biases, usually family and/or weather related.

For instance, you'll never get a California girl out of California, nor a Minnesota girl out of Minnesota - the rare exceptions to this rule do not invalidate the rule, rather underline the rule by virture of the rareness.

Yea especially if it's just a girl that you're dating and prospects of marriage in the near future may or may not be there.

I feel that a girl that you're engaged to or are going to propose in less than a year or so probably will go with you wherever.

 

[jdh71]

I feel that a girl that you're engaged to or are going to propose in less than a year or so probably will go with you wherever.

Bet she feels differently!

 

[Awesomeness]

To OP:

Wait till you're an MD. Your stock will skyrocket and people will notice. When youre a student, youre just that, a student. Nobody really cares or notices, but that M.D. changes everything. Either way, I'm in the same boat and loving every minute of it.

Society gives alot of respect and credit to people who are ENGAGED, but there is nothing intrinsically better about being married. It doesn't intrinsically make you more mature or respectable in any way.

 

[Aphtalyfe]

For instance, you'll never get a California girl out of California, nor a Minnesota girl out of Minnesota - the rare exceptions to this rule do not invalidate the rule, rather underline the rule by virtue of the rareness.

Spoken like a jedi.

 

[2012mdc]

One of my attendings broke up with his gf at the end of 3rd year. He said it was the best decision he made once he started interviewing.

I did the same thing. No regrets so far

^^^This

Plus a woman will try and tell you stuff, like where you have to live Women are inconvenient until you are done with training. You are much better without one right now.

This x1000

It's my life, if I want to move 2000 miles away for residency that should be my prerogative and I shouldn't have to worry about anyone else

 

[username456789]

Bet she feels differently!

My girlfriend (soon to be fiance) doesn't feel differently. She will travel with me wherever I end up.

 

[jdh71]

It's my life, if I want to move 2000 miles away for residency that should be my prerogative and I shouldn't have to worry about anyone else

Exactly. You only get to do residency and fellowship once.

 

[bestcoast]

Unless the woman you're with is willing to follow wherever you go.

Hey who said I can't dream?

That's even worse if you two are not engaged.
Basically, you are pretty much committed to her if she moved "FOR" you.

 

[MossPoh]

I have mixed feelings about waiting till the M.D. Yes, it attracts more ladies but I'm not sure I want to attract the type of girl who only takes notice of me when those letters are the only difference.

But I'm in the same position. I've made it a pro to be single since I don't care where I end up, but it doesn't make the time without anymore fun.